June 13, 2005

Gone

Today I cleaned out some stuff from our guest room. I have a desk in there with my computer and I've been wanting to get rid of some of my stuff so it looks more like a guest's room instead of my old bedroom in high school! Anyway, I found several cards and pictures in a drawer given to me by my best friend in middle school and high school, Alicia. I read about inside jokes long forgotten and teared up at phrases like "you will always be my best friend" and "remember the time . . ." and it got me thinking . . . those days are gone. It's not that I won't have more friends or more good times, it's that those wonderful, innocent days are over for me. I have entered a new stage of my life. No more late night phone conversations with girl friends, no more sleepovers or trips to the mall to meet guys. It's not that I need to or even want to do those things now, but thinking about them is so bittersweet. I now have a career, a house, a husband, slower metabolism. Let's face it folks, I'm old. All grown up. It's all downhill* from here, but I'm taking my memories with me!

*Ok, so maybe not. I am still young, no wrinkles, perky breasts (had to throw that in) . . . and I have kids to look forward to. But the concept of getting old frightens me and I'm scared that when I become a mom, that will be a real turning point, that I'll be totally and fully ALL grown up.

Posted by Hannah at June 13, 2005 01:40 AM
Comments

dear hannah, you are only as old as you want to be. the stage of life that you are in is not fully determined by your years - see it as a different phase in your life. or maybe just "changing goals". and be thankful you have those memories to burn :)

Posted by: stef at June 13, 2005 11:25 AM

i agree with stef. you are only as old as you feel :*) i sometimes go back to those memories myself. :*) i think you just gave me an idea for a post. :*)

Posted by: Feli at June 13, 2005 11:49 AM

Well, I'm about to be a mother and still feel like I'm about 14. :)

Posted by: Beth at June 13, 2005 03:10 PM

i don't think anyone feels like a grown up.

Posted by: Rachel at June 13, 2005 03:15 PM

That's exactly how I was feeling yesterday when I wrote that post. It's such a bittersweet feeling...

But then again, we have so much to look forward to! We are now entering the next stages in our lives.

I will email you later sweetie!! xoxo

Posted by: girl from florida at June 13, 2005 07:17 PM

I felt old the day I turned 22...weird. But now I'm 29 - and also about to be a mom. I've never been more excited about changes in life. For the first time I feel like a legitimate grown-up, not just someone who's 29 and trying to be an adult. Aside from that - all the physical changes going on right now in my body, make me realise that youth and innocence really have gone forever! Not that I don't totally intend getting into fabulous Hollywood shape when the baby's here, but still. Some things just won't be the same ever again...(like the colour of ones nipples!!! - sorry had to go there!!)

Posted by: Valkyrie at June 14, 2005 03:02 AM

I'm with you on the nipple thing, Valkyrie! LOL! :D Too funny, but it's true!

Hannah, when I took Lucas to his first pediatrician appointment, I remember looking at him lying on the exam table and thinking, "My God, I'm responsible for him! I'm a MOM now! I hope that I'll do OK!" I love every minute of it, but it definitely made me feel a LOT grown up! :)

Posted by: lisanne at June 14, 2005 12:51 PM

Do people ever really feel all grown up? I'm a mom and I'm old but mentally I don't feel anywhere near my age. [Not that I'm wearing mini skirts and tube tops though (thank God).] Besides, I look at having a kid as a chance to play again, with toys, crayons, paper, whatever! It's really given me fresh eyes. I just wish I had more energy!

Posted by: Elaine at June 15, 2005 01:33 AM