My friend B really worries me sometimes. He is gay and lately has become rather promiscuous. I know it's his life, but as his friend, I worry that he might have something and not know it. I have encouraged him to get tested, but he still hasn't. He might be spreading something around and not know it. Without getting into the details, he has been with a good many people. He's a great guy, but like many, he equates love with sex. I care about him so much. Should I keep bugging him or back off? If I had something and only found out due to a friend's urging, I'd probably be thankful. As someone who is rather conservative, I'm actually not at all judgemental when I give him advice, and he knows I have good intentions. He knows we are different. I just want him to be ok. Should I back off or continue my urging???
Posted by Hannah at November 9, 2005 08:11 PMThis is a tough one- some people become more resentful. I think it's more important to remain his friend & offer some gentle urging and suggestions, but not become a nagging mommy-type :) ALthough I would be tempted to do just that, because it's in my nature. So anyway, do what your gut tells you to do & approach it however it feels natural.
Posted by: girl from florida at November 9, 2005 09:48 PMI would say both, too. Not constant, but when it seems to be a good time to mention it.
Posted by: Laura at November 10, 2005 11:27 AMFriendship is a pretty difficult and volatile thing. I think that you have to do what your heart tells you, it's not always easy to do the right thing. Maybe tell him you understand but you care for him so that's why you feel the need to share your concern with him. If he's a friend that's true, he will take it :)
Posted by: stef at November 10, 2005 05:19 PMHappy 18 weeks pregnant, Hannah! Time is just FLYING. About your friend ... I'd *gently* share your concerns with him. Sounds like you guys are pretty close, and a good friend would be able to "take" the gentle comment from you, I think. Good luck!
Posted by: Lisanne at November 11, 2005 09:36 AMDon't bug him constantly about it but when the timing is right, do mention it to him.
Posted by: Melany at November 12, 2005 09:34 AMI'd be concerned about promiscuous behavior Gay or Heterosexual. Maybe if the topic comes up somehow you can mentioned you are worried. Good luck!!
Posted by: Ani at November 15, 2005 03:50 PM