As my last day of work approaches, I am plagued with mixed emotions. I thought I'd be thrilled to leave this job that so often stresses me out. What could be better than staying home with my precious daughter and having my husband come home for lunch every day, except of course, getting paid for it? :-) I feel like God has opened my eyes to the many wonderful things about my job. Is He trying to tell me something? I always planned to stay home with my children for a while, and now I don't feel as good about it as I thought I would. Tomorrow I have my second shower and all I can think about are the wonderful people who care about me and who have worked so hard to plan this wonderful celebration. And I'm leaving them. There's a part of me that is relieved to go, but not as much a part of me as I thought. I also don't really know who to talk to about it. My husband is worried about finances with me most likely quitting and my co-workers all want me to stay. My mom thinks I should stay home since James makes a decent living as an electronics engineer (still, 2 incomes are much better than one). *sigh*
If you could choose between staying home with your child and living comfortably or staying at work with people you really like and having more money, what would you choose? (I forgot to mention that I will get paid through August since they take part of your pay throughout the year for the summer-- yippee!)
This may all be a moot point when I see that precious child's face. It'll be a done deal then-- I'll probably never leave her for anything, but for now, this is hard.
Edited to add: living comfortably to me means hving enough money for bills and some extras. It will not, however, allow us to go out and spend money the way we are used to. Gone are the exotic vacations (not that we could take them now anyway) and the purchasing of the latest electronics, but we won't be poor. Heck James makes a bit more now than he did when I was a full-time student, so things can't be all that bad if we made it then, right?
Posted by Hannah at March 9, 2006 02:56 PMIf staying home on one income is still "living comfortably" then do that. But if it becomes "living slightly strained" then maybe think about going back to work. With you having the baby in mid-April, if you went back to work in what august? That would still be a nice maternity leave.
Posted by: alfredsmom at March 9, 2006 03:54 PMI don't know what I would choose, but I DO know that I will never, ever put my child in childcare (if I can help it).
Posted by: Laura at March 9, 2006 05:57 PMI have stayed home for the past 10 years, working only part time the past few years (during the school day) and I wouldn't trade it for the world. From what I hear, they need you at home more when they are teenagers so I don't plan to go back to work full time until they are out of high school. It has meant sacrifices such as cable, eating out, and buying new clothes when I want but I figure there's time for that in the future. The kids don't care about those things. They just want their mom around. I think you will feel the same way once you see her sweet face!
Posted by: jenn at March 9, 2006 06:33 PMI'd stay home in a heartbeat, kid or no kid!
Posted by: Rachel at March 9, 2006 07:35 PMI've stayed home with my daughter from day one, and I can't imagine missing all the amazing things that happen every single day. Even now that she's over a year old - there's something cool she learns every day. Either decision will be difficult for a variety of reasons. That's why I believe it's so important to make this decision based on what you and your husband value. Then when it becomes challenging, you know why you are doing what you're doing and you stick it out. We eat out less, I don't buy as many clothes, and I wouldn't trade being with her for any of that.
Posted by: amelia at March 9, 2006 09:49 PMWe're in very similar situations. I'm a teacher and my husband is a computer programmer, probably somewhat comparable incomes. I could quit my job, but I've decided not to do that at this time. I hope to have another baby in a couple of years, and I may take off with that one, so this baby will be a toddler and I'll get to stay home with both. It's definitely a big decision, and I am a little envious of you that you get to do this. I doubt you'll question it at all after the baby girl gets here. I've never heard anyone say they regretted being a stay at home mom.
Posted by: Chas at March 9, 2006 10:16 PMhow about staying home for a while and then deciding? don't remove all your options right now. and don't make a decision now - take some time, enjoy your last few weeks of being pregnant. very soon you'll meet your little one - that will have to be your main focus :)
Posted by: stef at March 9, 2006 11:12 PMBelieve me that once you hold her in your arms, nothing will make you want to go back to work. Even after my third child, I still feel sad that I have to work.
Posted by: Melany at March 10, 2006 03:45 AMI had the same dilemma. I am going to take about 8 months off, then I will return to full time work. We definately need the dual income and mine is better than hubby's so, he'll stay home for the remaining 4 months when I go back. Then it's the panic to find sitters. This shall be a task. :(
Posted by: Emmakirst at March 10, 2006 06:58 AMI would [and did] choose staying at home in a heartbeat. It's such a wonderful opportunity, and I feel fortunate that I'm able to. SO many moms out there wish that they could be SAHMs. I, too, miss the people who I used to work with. But consider finding some type of work-from-home job! That way, you could continue your professional interests while taking care of your little girl! Good luck ~ I'm behind you with whatever you decide, of course! :)
Posted by: Lisanne at March 10, 2006 08:07 AMIf you can do it, stay home with the baby. You'll always have the opportunity to work again when she's older, but you'll never have a second chance to stay home with her when she's little. I think the descision will be easier to make once you meet her face to face!
Posted by: Dillygirl at March 10, 2006 08:13 AMWhat about tutoring kids after school in your own home to make extra money... I know a few teachers who did that after having babies... they charged anywhere from $20 to $50 bucks for an hour or two... it might be a way to keep some money following in so things aren't so tight...
Posted by: Shannon O. at March 10, 2006 10:43 AMIf you like the job (or any job) then by all means, work.
But if the best job you ever had is taking care of your child, that's the one to choose.
Cas
and good luck on your decision
That's a tough call. I think if I had the opportunity to stay home for a while, I would, then decide later if I was ready to go back. Only time will tell, I guess.
Posted by: Leslie at March 10, 2006 07:02 PMAs I sit here with the sun streaming in the windows and my boys wondering in and out of the beautiful sunshine I know I made the right choice for our family. Yet some part of me hates that we can't take the vacations we want, that we can't go and do certain fun things because they are just too much. Those things don't matter so much when the kids were younger but as they get older I really feel the pull of not being able to do those things. I don't consider going back, but I understand the desire to stay.
Posted by: Pink Sun Drops at March 13, 2006 04:47 PMFor me, it wasn't all about the money, it was about my sanity. It was hard for me to admit, but I wasn't meant to be a SAHM. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I was so much older when I had my son, but I truly think I'm a better person for working. Besides, in my field (technology), I'd lose touch if I didn't work. I was fortunate to be able to go back parttime. The money isn't that good, and I need to make lots of concessions, but I feel very fortunate. Good luck. This isn't an easy decision.
Posted by: Elaine at March 14, 2006 02:29 AM