Teatopia

Birth Story

What? Two entries in one day? Can it be?

I actually found the time today between feedings, diaper changes, and millions of kisses to write my birth story. BTW, I have to add that Olivia slept well last night! She slept from 11:40-3:45, 4:30-8:00, and 8:30-10:00. I hate to get too excited, because generally, she is up until at least 2:30 every night before she even thinks about going to sleep. *keeping my fingers crossed for tonight*

And now for my birth story:

This will probably be extremely long, detailed, and a bit personal, but it is our story and I want to tell it exactly as it was.

I’m not exactly sure where to begin because I’m not positive when the symptoms I experienced went from pre-labor to actual labor. I had been dilated and effaced for quite a while, after all. I think the real symptoms leading up to my labor began on Sunday, April 9. Oddly enough, I had eaten Eggplant Parmesan the evening before and had eaten the leftovers that day. I noticed that my body began “cleaning itself out”. I’ve read and heard that this is a sign labor is coming. All day, whatever I ate seemed to go right through, so I was hopeful. I was scheduled to have my membranes stripped that Monday, April 10, so I figured Olivia would be here soon anyway, hopefully.

The next morning, my body continued to clean itself out. At 11:15, James took me to see the OBGYN. One of the first things he said to me was that he was surprised I hadn’t gone into labor on my own already since I had been dilated and effaced for so long. He said that that was why he never ventured any guesses because sometimes he was wrong. At this appointment, I was almost 3 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced. At that appointment, he stripped my membranes a bit (he said only a little) and recommended an induction if I didn’t go into labor soon. I had pitting edema in my feet and I had been urinating every 10 minutes with painful bladder spasms. He also guessed that the baby was 8 or 8.5 pounds (she was close to 8 lbs, 11 oz!) We decided to schedule it for Thursday if nothing had happened.

Almost immediately I began cramping and bleeding from the exam and having my membranes stripped. The discomfort continued all afternoon and I had a few contractions, but nothing regular—maybe 1 an hour. I had read that stripping membranes causes cramping, so I wasn’t sure if something was really happening or not. That evening, around 6:30, my family met for dinner. As usual, I had to urinate as soon as I got there, and when I was walking back to the table, I had a strong contraction (although not painful) followed by bad back pain that didn’t stop. The back pain continued for a few hours and would sometimes get worse. My mom said that she thought it was something, but I really didn’t At the time, I was under the impression that the baby might’ve been pressing on something in my back. I didn’t think the pain was from contractions because it seldom let up. I was wrong. I looked up my symptoms in What to Expect When You’re Expecting and it said that this was a sign of labor. I was also having more than just spotting from my appointment. I think it was bloody show. Around 11:30, James and I decided to go to bed. Around 12:30, I began have contractions 3-5 minutes apart, but they really weren’t painful at all. However, they were very regular and close together. After an hour, we decided to get ready to go to the hospital and call my doctor, but around 1:30, they stopped. I waited and waited for another one, and it didn’t come. I was really confused and figured having my membranes stripped could be causing this. I finally fell back to sleep.

At around 3:40, I was awakened by a horrible menstrual cramp. I immediately sat up because it had been so uncomfortable. I got up and went to the bathroom and had another one. I got back in bed and had another just a few minutes later. These were not like the ones I had experienced earlier. I woke James up and while we were talking, another one came. These were much more intense and painful, not like the ones before. There was no doubt. These were the real deal and I knew from what I’d heard that they would get worse before it was all over. I couldn’t even imagine that. They were immediately 3-4 minutes apart, but I was scared they’d stop again. I was hesitant to call because what if they stopped? They hurt really badly though and I couldn’t stand the thought of staying home and just waiting. While we were debating, I thought I felt something trickling out on my pad. I got up and ran into the bathroom. As soon as I sat down on the toilet, a gush of water came. I was so relieved. Now, there was no question at all. I called my OBGYN and told him. Then I called my parents and grandma who said they’d all meet us there. We left for the hospital minutes later (but not before I posted the update on my blog!).

We hit every green light on the way to the hospital. Although I was in tremendous pain, I was pleased that I got to experience the whole middle of the night, rushing to the hospital situation with James. Now I wasn’t going to have to be induced! When we arrived at the emergency room entrance, I had the hardest, worst contraction yet. I told James that I didn’t think I could walk, so he ran in and had them bring out a chair. I was trying to breathe as best I could. The lady took me up to Labor and Delivery while James parked the car. When I got upstairs, I saw my family and James arrived around that time. They took me to an admitting area where I was asked to change into a gown. I laid down on the bed and tried to breathe through my pain. James was not allowed back to be with me. I was scared and wanted him there. A nurse explained that there wasn’t anyone available to check me, so she’d do it. (I would hear this a million times more from her). She said I was 4.5 centimeters dilated, but that they’d have to verify my water had broken. She did a test with a swab and it came out positive, but she said the test was invalid because I was bleeding a bit. I assured her my waters were broken, but she was doubtful. I had the feeling they weren’t definitely going to admit me even though my contractions were so close. I could be wrong. She then said that she was going to do something that would release more water if the water had already broken. When she took her hand out, she said, “nope, nothing” and then, all of a sudden, water gushed everywhere. I murmured something like “I told you my water had broken!” I guess that was enough for them to admit me. I told the lady right away that I wanted an enema (remember my fears about pooping on the dr) and they said it’d be a while. Finally, they let James come back and we waited for a room. A while later (I’m not sure how long, I was in too much pain) I was wheeled into labor and delivery. I was hooked up to the monitors and given an IV, which took forever. I started asking for an epidural (I was miserable!) but the nurse who was “helping me because no one else was available” ignored me. Then, another nurse came and began working with me. My family came in at some point, but I can’t remember when. All I remember is hurting and trying to breathe through the contractions. I was almost completely unaware of anything but my pain. I continued to ask for an enema, but they checked me and I was 6 centimeters dilated. It was too late. I could tell that they put it off and ignored me. My OBGYN had said that they often ignore those orders and that I’d have to remind them. I was annoyed, but too tired to care. I continued to ask for an epidural—I’d already been there 2 ½ hours, but they said they hadn’t done the blood work yet to allow me to get one. My family yelled at them and asked why not? I’d been there so long already. They decided to give me phenergan. The contractions still hurt terribly, but I didn’t care as much. It was good stuff. I vaguely remember the nurse asking me a million questions and typing the answers into a computer and I remember another guy coming to ask me questions about an epidural. James said I didn’t answer half of them and had to be asked twice. Finally, someone came to draw my blood. Around this time, the nurse checked me and I was close to 8 centimeters dilated. Still no epidural. I was approaching transition and I was miserable. The nurses really weren’t that kind and didn’t seem to care that I was hurting. When I was in L & D during my car accident, the nurses were lovely. I wasn’t so lucky this time. At last, an anesthesiologist came to give me my epidural. It didn’t hurt and at all and I felt immediate relief. I was able to sleep some off and on for the next couple of hours. I remember my family coming in and out, taking turns, and also nurses and other people coming to check me. The reality of what was happening still had not hit me. All I could think about was sleeping.

The next time the nurse checked me, I was fully dilated, but the nurse said she wanted me to labor more because the baby needed to come down another centimeter or so. But, when my OBGYN came in, he said no, that it was time to push! I was actually disappointed because I wanted to sleep more. (I really wasn’t myself at all). I began pushing, but it was hard because I couldn’t feel the contractions very well. That would change. I pushed for an hour or so I think, and then I started to feel the contractions. I kept telling them that I was hurting, but they didn’t say much. The pain was mostly on my left side at first, and I kept pressing the button to get more medicine in the epidural, but it didn’t help. I continued pushing and pushing and feeling the contractions helped me know when to push. The baby didn’t come down like they wanted, although at one point, when the nurse pulled back my skin, the baby’s head was somewhat visible and James, my mom, and grandma (who were with me in the delivery room) got to see it. Finally, after almost 2 hours of painful pushing, my OBGYN said that we needed to use a vacuum. Initially, I had planned not to use one, but it was obvious that it was needed. The first one they tried kept coming off the baby’s head and I could tell my OBGYN was getting really frustrated. I was too, because I was really hurting and feeling the pain and I wanted her out! The second vacuum attached much better and after continuing to push, she began to come down more. I pushed with all my might because it was hurting so much and I knew it was the only way I’d feel relief. It’s odd-- never really thought about the baby. I didn’t think about meeting her or that she was almost here. I was hurting so badly that all I could think about was having it all be over. Even between pushes, I felt completely out of it, like all I wanted to do was sleep for the precious moments in between contractions. James and my mom were holding my legs and my grandma was seated on the couch. With one push, I peed everywhere. I saw it spray a bit, but it did not get on my doctor. He said something about the nurses and them not having catheterized me. At one point, as I was pushing, James looked “down there” and made a nasty face. “This is it,” I thought. “I’ve gone and pooped all over the place.” I was scared to ask because I hadn’t received my enema, but it turns out, just as James looked; the doctor cut me with scissors. He’d cut more later, but I’m not quite sure when he did. All I know is that I was feeling so much pressure; I really couldn’t feel the pain from the episiotomy.

I can’t really say at what point my daughter came out because everything hurt so much. I couldn’t tell when she actually was out. I vaguely remember them holding her up, and then the next thing I knew, my doctor said, “you can touch her,” and I looked down and she was on my stomach. It was 11:52 on April 11. All the emotions I thought would come didn’t. I was not moved as I thought I’d be. I know I cried, but it was a combination of many feelings—shock, relief, pain from the continuing contractions (weren’t they supposed to stop when the baby came out???) and sheer exhaustion. They took her over to the table to work with her and I continued breathing through the contractions. I kept saying, “Aren’t they supposed to stop?” and then I remembered that the placenta still had to come and that’s why they continued. My OBGYN pressed on my tummy and waited for the placenta. When it finally came, I caught a glimpse of it and decided I really didn’t want to see it. Shortly after, he began stitching me up, which took at least 20 minutes. I watched some of what they were doing with my daughter, but I felt left out of that whole process. James was videotaping it so I could see it later, and my mom and grandma were watching her get cleaned up, bathed, etc. I felt like a spectator at that point, watching everyone in the room watching her. I waited and waited for what seemed like forever for them to bring her to me. I was still hurting so badly. I felt like I had been run over by a bus. When they finally brought my daughter to me, the feelings of shock and confusion returned. I was too overwhelmed. I felt love yes, but mostly complete and utter shock. I also felt guilt. Wasn’t I supposed to be sobbing over my love for this child? What was wrong with me? Everyone assured me my feelings were normal, but I felt confused by my reaction. Soon after, I began to try to nurse her. She nursed a little and I kept touching her, looking at her. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do or say.

It didn’t take long though for me to fall completely, utterly in love with Olivia. I would do anything for this child and I can’t imagine life without her now.

I know this was a longer birth account than most people write, but I wanted to remember every detail of our story—mine and Olivia’s.

Posted by Hannah at April 27, 2006 10:20 PM