a completely neurotic, paranoid mother who needs some help. After not really thinking about SIDS much at all, I am all of a sudden totally paranoid about Olivia dying. I know this is normal (or is it???), but I am driving myself somewhat insane. I keep checking her breathing. I think it might be because she is *finally* sleeping for longer stretches and I get worried when she doesn't wake up. Thank God it's usually her cries that wake me up because if I always woke up first, I'd probably have a panic attack every night.
Just this morning, I went over to her and she looked different. I don't know why~ in my paranoia I probably imagined it or something, but she just did. I shook her gently, nothing. I listened for breathing, nothing. I picked her up and shook her again, gently though of course, nothing. What the? I just knew she was dead. She had died from SIDS. I started to cry. Then, she stirred, looking angry that I had disturbed her. Of course she was breathing. duh! Luckily, she's not old enough yet to know how paranoid and ridiculous her mommy is. Now I feel foolish. Please tell you have had moments of paranoia as bad as mine-- and if you haven't, could you please make something up so I don't feel like such an ass? Pretty please?
Posted by Hannah at May 30, 2006 12:10 PMI am totally with you on this. My paranoia has subsided a bit, but I still worry about it all the time! I actually went to the SIDS association website and they totally have pictures of babies who have died from SIDS on their front page...I couldn't take it. I'm just trying to do everything I can to prevent it...so scary!
Posted by: Chas at May 30, 2006 12:46 PMI have a 4 year old that I still check on every night and make sure she is breathing. You are not crazy!
Posted by: Amanda at May 30, 2006 01:01 PMOh this will make you feel better ( or at least make you laugh).
Last night Jason and I went to the mall and Home Depot. For whatever reason, I was completely paranoid that Jason was going to get too close to me and accidently cross his foot with mine and trip me. ( and at 9 mos, pregnant, that would NOT be good) I kept telling him to stay away from me and we settled on walking about 5 feet apart.
Posted by: alfredsmom at May 30, 2006 01:03 PMOh I am right there too! The other night Ava slepy from 10pm till 6am. I wke before her and thought for sure she was gone. Nope just having a great sleep.
I still check on my 4, 6 and 10 yr olds too. And!!! I have this fear that if I can't find them around the yard, I'm convinced a pedophile has them. Thats all the darn crap lately on TV about it. Poor kids with their overprotective mom. lol.
Posted by: Emmakirst at May 30, 2006 01:31 PMOh babe you are not alone! I had an episode very similar to yours with Liam where I shook him and patted him and he would not move! Of course I knew he wasnt breathing, something was horribly wrong. I ended up pinching him very hard and he finally woke up. I cant remember when this was....gosh...I would say he was probably 7-8 months old, so he wasnt a newborn like your dollface. I dont see it ever ending. I worried about it throughout my pregnancy, convinced he would never be born, and then when he was born, convinced he would never live through the night. I worried so much. It gets easier, but I dont think we will ever stop!
Posted by: Jessica at May 30, 2006 01:54 PMIt's normal. I've been there, done that ~ and I *still* am paranoid all the time about Lucas. Moms never stop worrying! :)
Posted by: Lisanne at May 30, 2006 03:21 PMI'm glad you posted this!!! I feel like I am a CRAZY woman all the time. I worry about SIDS, I worry about drivers hitting our car, I worry about dropping the baby, or accidentally doing something horrible to her. It's awful. Then I feel like a weird sicko for the horrible scenarios I imagine could happen.
Posted by: girl from florida at May 30, 2006 11:26 PMTotally normal. Sounds like you are.....a mom. :)
Posted by: Robin at May 31, 2006 12:53 PMHi there, I am visiting your site through Amber's. You have beautiful daughter! Absolute sweetheart. And personally, I think that all of us new parents do what you do...wondering if our baby is breathing. I know I went a checked my newborn tons of times.
God Bless as you raise your daughter.
I think that comes from being madly in love with your child, and you can't stand even thinking that anything can go wrong.
Carry on.
Posted by: cassie-b at May 31, 2006 04:16 PMYou are not crazy. Just a mom. The worry never ends
Posted by: Melany at June 1, 2006 02:16 PM