I am hopelessly addicted to "Adoption Stories" on the Discovery Health Channel because we plan to adopt at some point. (Have I mentioned this before?) Actually, I surprised myself and suggested we adopt first, but James wanted to have a biological child first, and apparently he's really smart and wonderful because I got my Olivia Beth. However, I still want to adopt someday. I figure that if the desire is still strong after having a bio child, then it must be there for a reason. Maybe God laid this on my heart?
James wants us to have another baby before we try to adopt, and because he was so smart the last time, I'll go with that. Besides, we can't afford an international adoption right now, and we know we definitely want to go international. But then I worry, will we want a 3rd child by then? Can we afford it? What's a good number? How many do you want? (and the questions keep swirling around in my head.)
I've thought about adopting an older child. Could it work? Or a special need's child-- am I strong enough? Patient enough? Ugh. Decisions.
Then, there are times I've thought that Olvia is enough. I'd love for my whole world to revolve around her. We could travel with her-- something that would be difficult if we had 2 or 3. But I know I love kids and want more than 1. I think.
I'm not sure why I'm thinking about this not even 4 months post-partum. Maybe because I was having nausea every evening like I did when I was pregnant. My mom gave me a lecture about being careful and not getting pregnant so soon. It wouldn't be fair to Olivia, she said. And to think of how bad it'd be for my body . . . I'll admit I wasn't very careful after Olivia was born, but then I got my period and some relief from worrying, but I know I might be fertile again. We're using protection.
There's something about carrying a baby in your tummy and giving birth that makes me re-think adoption. Giving birth is truly a labor of love, and although it'd be nice to obtain a baby without having to go through that again, it's a bonding experience. It's just you and that baby. In the end, everyone else plays a very minor role. Women have given birth for centuries without OBGYN's, nurses, and coaching. In some parts of the world, they still do. I remember reading about Nisa of the !Kung tribe. She squatted under a tree and had her baby. So simple. Just her and the baby.
James has been asking me when we should have the next baby. Until recently, I told him we weren't even going there, but now, I figure it can't hurt to make a tentative plan. He votes for next summer (to conceive, not to give birth). I'm not so sure . . .
I know many of you just had babies, and you're probably wondering (if you even read this far), why the heck I'm making you think about doing it again? But really, I'm curious. Do you want more? If so, when? You might as well consider it now, because pretty soon, everyone else will start asking you.
Posted by Hannah at August 8, 2006 12:56 AMAs you know, I'm finished having my children, but if I were to have another, I would do it within the next 6 mos. I love having them close in age, they grow up close to each other and are best of friends. Good luck, how exciting to be thinking on having another, wish we were doing that :)
Posted by: Emmakirst at August 8, 2006 07:31 AMMy mom gave me the same lecture! I agree with her too, that Amelia should get a chance to be a baby. It flies by SO FAST, I want to enjoy it with each one. My sister is 9 years younger than me and we are SO close, and my brother is 16 months younger than me, and we are also SO close- so I think no matter how far apart they are, they'll get a chance to get to be buddies. We are waiting a couple years I think. I want to get my body back before I get pg again! (stop nursing, etc) And I want to take cute pictures of Amelia kissing my belly when I'm pg and she's a cute toddler.
But I can't wait for you to get pg so I can read all about it again!!! :)
Posted by: girl from florida at August 8, 2006 09:01 AMFor the first 2 months after I had Jenna, I was absolutely certain that she would be an only child. I thought there was no way I could go through that again. But she's only 3 1/2 months old and I've already gotten past that. We will wait at least a year before we even consider it, but I think we will have one more.
Posted by: karen at August 8, 2006 09:25 AMI have thought about that and I have THREE boys and Zander is only 6 months old lol We want to adopt...okay, I want to adopt and hubby seems to be somewhat okay with that lol BUT only once Zander is at least 7 years old
Posted by: Melany at August 8, 2006 09:38 AMJessica was 9 months old when I got pregnant with Ally. They are 17 and a half months apart. I love being pregnant and want to have another baby, especially to see if we have a boy but my husband doesn't want to chance having another girl. I'm so busy with the two of them that if I did get pregnant again I'd probably wait till Jessica is in kindergarten. I just hate the thought of being done. It's so final.
Posted by: Amy at August 8, 2006 12:54 PMI would love to have more kids, but right now Jeremy doesn't get paid enough and I think our place is too small for another child... plus, all of my other pregnancies will be high risk because of my age, PCOS, and they will also be all c-sections... and I don't know if I can do another c-section... it was complete hell!!
Posted by: Shannon O. at August 8, 2006 01:45 PMI don't want anymore kids. Not even if I were married to someone I loved. Although, all of my friends when they see me with children or babies disagree 100% with the statement I just made..
Posted by: Linda at August 8, 2006 03:24 PMOlivia is exactly two weeks older than my Lila. I have been thinking a lot about other children. In my perfect world, I'd have three children. We have already decided to try again late next spring after Lila is one. I can't wait!! I love this motherhood thing so much...and I definitely want to experience it all over again. Plus, I really want Lila to have siblings close to her age; it's like having an instant playmate and lifelong friend.
Posted by: Chas at August 8, 2006 08:44 PMWe want 4 kids, so we have 3 to go. We're planning on falling again next year, so our daughter will be just shy of 2.5yrs when the next one is born. I think that's a nice gap. :)
Posted by: e at August 9, 2006 03:39 AM