I'm always so self-conscious when it comes to speaking up or complaining about something. It's not that I'm all that shy, but I don't want to appear negative or be thought of as a complainer. So, I was a little hesitant to say something after several unsupervised bigger kids were messing with the non-walker babies at playgroup yesterday.
But, I decided to get over my self-consciousness and speak up! After all, I have a right to put my baby down on the floor without some brat unsupervised bigger kid running over my baby, which is exactly what happened yesterday. Once is an accident, but some kids were completely nuts running around, and others were hitting and kicking and being total bullies!
Me: (to kid) Be careful! You stepped on my baby!
Him: It wasn't me. (Um, hello. I'm not blind)
Me: Yes it was. You need to watch out!
I shouldn't have to be the one to correct someone else's kid, but if their mom isn't around, I'm going to! Not too far back, I knocked some kid off this blow-up dinosaur in a moon bounce type thing because she was nose-diving on it, about to knock out tiny Olivia who was already sitting on it. Surely, Olivia would've had a concussion, at best. This kid was literally diving on top of her! I knew the kid wouldn't get hurt falling in the moon bounce, but Olivia surely would have if I hadn't stopped the kid! I don't like confronting other moms when it comes to their kids behavior, but I have no problem correcting the kids. What can I say? It's the teacher in me. I would never, ever, correct a child if his/her mom was there, only if they are hurting another child in some way and there's no one else to stop it. You don't mess with my baby!
So, today, while out walking, I mentioned to the assistant organizer of our group that I felt really uncomfortabble about having to pay so much attention to what some of the older kids are doing because their moms are obviously too busy to watch them. It's only a few kids who misbehave, but a few of the younger kids got hurt yesterday, and this isn't fair or appropriate. I also explained that a new mom attending the event yesterday was upset that her child was shoved to the ground by another child several times. I was worried she wouldn't want to come back! She thanked me for telling her and said she'd handle it.
The next thing I know, the head organizer is calling me and many others asking about the "incident" yesterday and wanting names. Yikes! I don't want to get in the middle of anything!!! I tried to play it down and explained that I was just hoping she could, as our organizer, politely remind parents to watch their kids, even if it's just checking in with them from time-to-time. I don't want it to get back to anyone that I am tattling or making trouble. I just want my daughter to have a safe place to play.
I know it's hard when you're a tired, sleep-deprived mom who just wants to sit and talk. It's not like I wouldn't like that. But if you have a child, sorry, but you do actually have to watch them. Hope I won't be the bad guy in this.
Did I do the right thing or should I just let kids be kids?
Posted by Hannah at March 14, 2007 08:33 PMNope, being a kid is one thing..being a brat is another. These moms are the ones that need to learn their lesson, and it sounds like they may get it. Good for you!
Posted by: Chas at March 14, 2007 09:22 PMTo an extent, I think you have to let kids be kids--they're going to take toys from one another, knock heads sometimes, or get caught in an impasse (or collision) when trying to crawl or walk in opposite directions. They learn to work it out, with our help, of course, if it looks like someone's going to get hurt. That said, it sounds like the playgroup has a totally inappropriate mix of ages, and I can certainly see why you feel tense and uncomfortable with runners playing around Olivia. Why not see if some of the moms with kids who are littler are interested in spinning off into a smaller group, or see if the organizer is willing to help organize a crawlers/pre-walking group? Playgroups should be fun for the kids AND the moms, not another opportunity for moms to worry (don't we have enough of those?!)
Posted by: Arin at March 14, 2007 10:25 PMI know Amelia is certainly roughhoused around with when she plays with older kids and to a certain extent, that's ok since kids will be kids. BUT as Chas says, being a brat is a totally different thing!
THose moms need to get off their lazy arses and reprimand and control their kids. This lady in my family group was like that, she'd come here and expect us to watch her kid while she chatted and her kid chucked toys at my TV. Ummmm HELL NO!! I disciplined her kid and she was LIVID. She could suck it, because it was her own fault!
Wow I totally veered off into a rampage. Anyway you are totally right here!!
Posted by: girl from florida at March 14, 2007 11:06 PMYou are totally right. Let the mama bear in you protect Olivia. She's still too tiny for roughhousing.
Posted by: B at March 14, 2007 11:17 PMYou were right. It's one things when kids are just playing, accidents do happen but kids out of control is not ok. I'd be mortified if my child was trampling over another kid, I'd definitely watch my child as much as it sucks to be constantly interupted or not be able to relax, your child is YOUR responsibility. If you don't want to take care of your kid then get a babysitter!
Posted by: villagegirl at March 15, 2007 12:02 AMBy you, I'm meaning the lazy-arsed moms.
Posted by: villagegirl at March 15, 2007 12:04 AMI have no kids so I don't really have any say or experience, but I'd like to think if you are worried for your baby's welfare then it's totally acceptable for you to voice your concerns. Parents should take responsbility if their kiddies are running rampant. But like I said, I have no real authority on this. hehe. :)
Posted by: Trace at March 15, 2007 06:26 AMI say no need to feel bad and you did the right thing..like they all said kids will be kids but they need supervision. So they push a child down once, they should be gotten on to so they know it's wrong and hopefully don't do it again!
Posted by: Katie at March 15, 2007 10:26 AMYou are absolutely 100% correct! No matter WHERE you are with your child, there should ALWAYS be at least one eye on him/her most of the time!! Maybe I'm too over protective, but at our Moms group I am looking over to see what H is up to at least every 20 seconds or so!!!
Posted by: Amber at March 15, 2007 11:30 AMI agree with everyone else....you did the right thing. AND if you don't say something, then it's just going to continue, or even get worse. Go on Hannah!!!
Posted by: Sara at March 15, 2007 12:44 PMYou most certainly did the right thing Hannah. If the shoe was on the other foot, the other moms wouldn't accept it happening to their child. If anyone gets upset/hurt, they'll have to just "deal"! Good luck w/the whole situation :)
Posted by: Connie at March 15, 2007 03:05 PMI would of grabbed the kid and took the brat to the mom and said look watch your kid because if he/she hurts my baby i will put the hurt on you... but that is me... I totally don't put up with bratty kids... If they are at a gathering they should know how to behave... I am already trying to work on it with Lorelei because she is so active and I don't want her or anyone else to get hurt... you did the right thing and spill the beans to the leader...
Posted by: Shannon O. at March 15, 2007 09:37 PMHi Hannah, I think you did the right thing. Kids are kids when it comes to certain things but when you have kids who are running around rampant and a danger to other kids or babies, that is not OK. I'm really lucky to have found a playgroup where all the moms are pretty attentive. We all get to talk but I think we've all got that peripheral, keeping a second eye on our kids down. ;) Hope it gets better.
Posted by: GeorgiaGirl at March 18, 2007 08:14 AM