Teatopia

Happy Birthday my precious girl!

Whew! I intended to write this birthday entry much earlier, but Olivia has been wired from all the excitement tonight! She fussed all through opening gifts because she didn't get a good nap today, came alive for a bit while smashing her cupcake in her face, and then took a brief nap and somehow ended up with a big second wind which had her playing with all her new toys until 11:00 pm! Then the poor thing got terrible gas which I'm guessing is a result of the cupcake. She cried and cried for the last 45 minutes or so and the only thing that stopped it was when she finally let the gas out. Poor baby. :-(

Today felt surreal. It's not that Olivia is any different today than she was yesterday, it's just the knowledge that she's now a year old that makes things feel different. I'm so conscious of having a one year old. Suddenly, I'm terrified that my life is flying by and that she'll be gone before I know it. We're 1/18 there.

I tried to savor every minute of today. I drank in Olivia's baby scent which will soon fade, to twirl her baby-soft curls and squeeze her chubby fat rolls because soon, I'll be looking at the body of a little girl.

Also poignant today was the transition her nursery made. Before her little party tonight (her bigger one is Saturday), I packed away her swing, which she hasn't used in ages. I rearranged her closet, which is a small walk-in, to make room so I could set up her new toy chest and the other bigger things she got: her activity table, pet shop, and kitchen. This morning, she had what could've been a newborn's room, and by tonight, it was a toddler's. All evidence that the "newness" of having a baby is wearing off. Somehow all of this is making me want to do it again, and fast. I feel like I'm losing my grip on the present. I can't hold on to her and make her stay a baby. She's growing and changing daily and it's breaking my heart. Yet at the same time, all these new little steps bring me such joy. It's all so bittersweet.

My Olivia, I want you to know that on your first birthday, your Mommy looked at you at least 100 times and teared up because she couldn't contain all the love she felt for you. Your Grammie cried too, which made Mommy feel less silly. I don't know how I was ever happy without you. How can there be happiness without Olivia? Your smiles, your laugh, and curiosity light up my life. I can't believe I get to be your Mommy, and although your silly Mommy is already worying about you going off to college and leaving, the truth is, this is just the beginning. I have years ahead of watching you squeal with delight at the thought of Santa coming. We have countless hours ahead for building forts and making up stories. I am so excited to share all this with you! Yippee!!!

Although you still have another party ahead (tonight was more of a family dinner), there are some pictures I want to remember from today, and from exactly one year ago.

I took this picture of you today at exactly 11:52, the time you were born. You were doing the same thing you were doing at 11:52 last year, crying! You were very upset today that I put you down because you were tired and wanted me to hold you. You were asleep minutes later. :-)

So many presents!

Here you are with your Grammie (who is much older than she looks. She was 26 when I was born.) You are putting on your new "pretend" lipstick. You love to steal my chapstick and lipstick, and you can take off the tops! I caught you last week with lipstick on your mouth because I didn't think you could open it. You like to put it on us too.

At first you weren't sure what to do with your cupcake, so you decided to sample it.

After discovering just how yummy cupcakes are, you decided to just go for it! You actually look a bit like Santa Claus.

You spent a lot of time tonight playing with your new toys.

Well, baby girl. You are now a year old. Just one year and I have thousands of memories. Thousands of reasons God is so amazing. I love you, my Olivia Beth. Thank you for being my daughter.

Posted by Hannah at April 11, 2007 11:50 PM