Teatopia

We circ our boy at birth. Unfortuantely he has to get it redone this coming year - not enough was taken off - is this TMI??? If I had to do it again - i wouldn't do it - since I have to put him through it again. I would let him make the decision about it. I'm not even sure we are definately going to have him go through it again, but the urologist has said that it could be "uncomfortable and itchy" for him as he gets older and starts to play sports. I don't think I answered any of your questions but wanted to give you our experience...

I feel totally comfortable talking about it so I'll be the first to chime in. First of all, congrats!! You'll love having a boy. They are so much fun! I have 2 boys that are now 8 and 11. Both are circumcised but we had 2 totally different experiences. First, our decision to circumcise the boys was left up to my husband. I didn't know enough about it (from the male perspective) to make an educated decision so I looked to my husband to be the primary decision maker. The fact that he is circumcised was a major factor. he also felt that the cleanliness factor and the "locker room" issue was also important to consider.

Here are our two very different experiences:
Our first son was born in an Army hospital. All of the new mom's who gave birth to a boy brought the baby down to this room in the hospital where they showed us a video and then we met the doctor that would be performing it. They did a plastibell (if that's the right word) circumcision where they attach a little plastic device to the penis and it slowly rolls down the foreskin and falls off over a couple of days. Over the next couple of years, he had a bunch of adhesions and one pediatrician even recommended him being re-circumcised if it was hurting to have an erection. He's 11 now and not complaining of any problems but as you can imagine, I haven't felt the need to check!

With our second one, we were hesitant but wanted the boys to be the same. His was done with a scalpel and was a lot cleaner and easier to deal with. He has not had any problems with his and I am glad that we had it done. I know that this is all TMI but it's such a hard decision to make. Overall, I feel like we made the best decision for our sons. I hope that this helps but since James can identify with it, have him be a huge part of the decision making process.

Well,I'm not the mom of a son, so my advice could be completely useless. You could always ask yourself "What would Jesus do?"...I'd say he'd probably get one, lol. That was a joke, obviously. Seriously though, I would do the research myself and decide what the best decision for you is. Most people that don't opt for circumcision are very opinionated about it, and they've got a lot of information about it. And then the ones on the other side of the fence are sometimes equally passionate. I have no idea what the right answer is.

How about I just share some experiences I have on the subject. A family friend of mine when I was growing up was not circumcised. I had a huge crush on him and had no idea of the state of his penis, but when he was about 16 he went in and had the circumcision done. His mother had been only 16 herself when she had him and didn't really know what they were asking when they asked if she wanted him circumcised, so she just said NO. He said he felt self conscious about not being circumcised when he was around other boys and that he was very uncomfortable when it came to girls b/c of it. He was pretty angry with his mom for making the decision she did since he'd have never had to remember the surgery or recovery if he'd had it done as an infant. I'm sure he's over it now since his circumcision was probably fifteen years ago, but at the time I felt pretty bad for his mom at the time.

Also, my very best guy friend is not circumcised. He's rather outspoken, and it is pretty much public knowledge that he's not circumcised. He also wishes his mother had gone ahead and done it when he was a baby. Every six months or so he talks about having it done, but fear sets in and he chickens out. He's given me many reason why he wishes it had been done.

My only personal experience with uncircumcised penises was when working with babies in a daycare when I was in college. I had one little boy who was uncircumcised. I did find that he was a little harder to clean during really messy poops. However, I'm sure if I were his mother I'd have gotten used to it.

Sooo...I have no advice really. The guys I know that were not circumcised were/are not happy about it. However, that won't stop me from doing the research myself and going with what I think is best when/if I have a boy of my own :).

Hi Hannah, I have a nearly 2 year old boy (Cooper) and I researched circumcision whilst I was pregnant. There are obviously two camps in relation to this... for and against. The 'for' camp reasons for circumcision seemed to come down to aesthetics or looks and hygiene. The first is NO reason to do it in my opinion and the second is a non-issue, as you can teach boys to clean themselves properly.

Obviously, I decided not to do it. I felt that I didn't have any right to change my son's appearance without having a good reason to do so and without his knowledge. I felt that if he decided that he wanted it done when he was older, then he could choose for himself (and have access to strong painkillers, which little bubs can't have).

I also wondered about the pain and whether that would scar him emotionally or psychologically.

The other issue for my partner was that he is circumcised, and he wondered if Coops would feel like they were different. My response was that is also no reason to do it. Being 'different' from dad is OK and explainable. Also, as less and less boys are having it done, there won't be so much of a change room/ locker room issue, as there will be both kinds of boys (as opposed to my generation, where the majority were circumcised).

So, overall, we are very happy with our decision and if Coops decides when he is old enough, that it is something he needs/ wants to have done, he can. It will be his choice, not something we decided for him when he had no voice.

Hubby and I have discussed this in case we have a boy one day, and he feels SO strongly about it, so I'm leaving it up to him... he wants his son to be like him and "not have to wonder why he's different from daddy." I didn't really feel strongly either way... I know you'll make the right decision! (And I really hope you don't get criticized for it on here!)

1) What decision did you make regarding your son? (or what decision would you make?)
My son is one and we had him circ. at birth

2) What brought you to that decision?
I was 'on the fence', but hubby really wanted it done.

3) Did you do any research before deciding?
I did. I read alot of different views and the pro's/con's of each side. I decided it didn't much matter to me either way, as I figured he would probably eventually have it done. I did get very anxious while I knew he was having it done and give him extra hugs and held him a lot after I knew it'd been done. I didn't care for having to be so careful with it when we came home..it seemed like it would hurt so bad..it never seemed to bother him but it made me and hubby really careful with diaper changes.
4) Are you happy with the choice you made?
I def am. It's over and done with, nice and clean! LOL

I found this to be a HUGE decision when I was pregnant. I didn't know we were having a boy but we needed to decide before anyhow. We went back and forth alot. In the end we decided not to just because it just isn't necessary. We had a Christian doctor who encouraged us not to - he would have done it had that been our decision but he just didn't feel like they need to be done. That and the thought of putting my baby through pain - even though they won't remember. I don't regret the decision at all. That being said I've heard of the odd boy or even man that requires getting it done later in life which I can imagine would have them shaking in their boots. I don't think the image thing is a big deal in this day and age. I think the stats are about 50/50 so there'll be a good mix of both in the locker rooms. I know it shouldn't be all about asthetic but we're talking highschool boys here. I don't think it will be a big deal once they hit school.
I don't think there is a definite right or wrong. You just have to figure out which is right for you! I was solidly in the snipping camp before I got pregnant as was my hubby but we researched and spoke to important people in our lives and decided to change our view. It was a big deal then but I don't find that it is now.
Good luck with your decision!

I was all for it when pregnant with the Bubby, since I'd only ever 'known' circumsized ones :) But my hubby who IS circ'd, was totally against it saying that his parents didn't give him the choice, and he would never do that to his son. My argument was that he might be mad we didn't do it when he was little and therefor wouldn't remember the pain (plus if he's a teenager when he wants it done it could be 'embarrassing'), but hubby insisted that it HAD to be his (the Bubby's) decision. This was the only thing that my husband kind of insisted on when it came to the pregnancy, the birth, the name and the bubster in general so I let him have his way. Our paeditrician summed it up great for me, saying that if you're unsure, rather leave it unless there is a very specific, or even surgical reason for having it done. (i.e. my brother was done as a 10 year old, because for some reason his fs stopped growing at the same rate as his 'member' so it was constricting it - and therefore had to be done.) Anyway, its a tough one, but since we made this decision for the Bubby, we'll do the same for the new bubs, and leave it up to them when they're older (barring any complications that may arise.)

I totally regret having it done:( My next son wont be done. It wasnt until after having him though, that I got smart about all sorts of things.
Have you joined mothering.com? Its a great natural parenting website with a wonderful discussion forum. They have super resources and lots of good things to learn and consider.
There is actually a video and I'm looking for it now, of a circ being done. I highly highly recommend watching it before you make your decision.

http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/video.html

Here you are!

Sorry for the multiple posts, I keep having additional thoughts.

Some insurance companies wont pay for them anymore because they are considered cosmetic. Thats something to consider as well:)

Well I don't have a son of my own (only a step son who is) but I can tell you that both my brothers are not circumsized. Not that i am a perv and I go looking at my brothers like that but I remember from changing their diapers when they were little. Not that they would talk to me about it but I haven't ever heard them complain about it or anything....

1) What decision did you make regarding your son? (or what decision would you make?)

3 sons, oldest 22 and youngest 11. All circumsized.

2) What brought you to that decision? I did some research with last son, but since the other two were circ'd, had him done, too.

3) Did you do any research before deciding? Some before the youngest one's circ.

4) Are you happy with the choice you made? Absolutely. They look like everyone else, and cleanliness/hygiene isn't an issue.

1) What decision did you make regarding your son? (or what decision would you make?)

3 sons, oldest 22 and youngest 11. All circ'd.

2) What brought you to that decision? I did some research with last son, but since the other two were circ'd, had him done, too.

3) Did you do any research before deciding? Some before the youngest one's circ.

4) Are you happy with the choice you made? Absolutely. They look like everyone else, and cleanliness/hygiene isn't an issue.

I was in the same boat when I was pregnant. We didn't find out the gender until birth. I must say that part of me was so relieved that she was a girl- meaning that I didn't have to make that decision! What's funny is that all the males in both of our families ARE circ'd, though my husband now leans strongly toward NOT having it done if/when we have a boy someday. I mostly lean that way, though am not totally sure.

For him, the "looking like dad" thing isn't a big deal. It's more of the "if it's not necessary, why put the baby through it" mentality. I was surprised to learn (when we were researching) that it is not as common as I thought and that it is totally a cultural thing. Most boys in the UK are not circ'd, which I found interesting. All this rambling to say, I know how you feel! Good luck with your decision. I hope you and James can come to a conclusion that you both feel good about.

You are absolutely right Hannah it is a very personal choice and whatever a person chooses will be the best option for them. Saying that if Cheese Doodle is a boy I don't see Niel and I circumsizing. I did research and its not something we want to do. Actually not a lot of mean are.

I thought I should add that the two friends of mine that were unhappy with the lack of circumcision probably wouldn't be as upset about it, if at all, if they were born now. You never know really, but with people not really going with tradition just for the sake of tradition anymore, I'm sure a non-circumcised boy wouldn't be nearly as self conscious now.

1) What decision did you make regarding your son? (or what decision would you make?)

For both of my sons, we decided not to get them circumsized.

2) What brought you to that decision?

My hubby made the final decision, he isn't so he felt that there was no need to do it to them.

3) Did you do any research before deciding?
Not really, I just know that it's extremely difficult to find a Dr. around this area that is willing to do it without it being medically necessary by a urologist.

4) Are you happy with the choice you made?
Yes, my almost 8 yr old son has had no problems whatsoever and now with my 1 month old I haven't had any issues with cleaning and so on. I am happy with the decision we made.

I must chime in. I have a daughter so it's not an issue. BUT the thought of "looking like dad" is bizarre. Somehow I don't think my breasts or my labia resemble my mother's. Seriously, do dad's and sons really sit around and talk about the similarities and differences of their penises? And, seriously, do boys in the locker room hold their penises side by side and compare how they all look? If you can't tell, I'm totally against it.

I have three boys and didn't circumsize one of them. Not becuase their dad is / isn't. I just feel iti s not my right to make such a big decision on HIS body. Is not my body. Not my decision. If my boys decide to do it one day , then they have the option to do so. If I had circumsized them I would have taken that decision from them.

I honestly don't see how people feel they have the right to decide such an important issue that really has nothing to do with them, for another human being...even if it is their son.

I am for it, although not having children (obviously you know this because im your sister) but there are other medical issues to research other than just cleanliness. For starters, a circumsized male's sexual partners are less likely to develop hpv and therefore cervical cancer (which is more a perk for his future partner) but still something to consider. The thing is, if you don't do it and he wonders why he doesnt look like daddy and decides to have it done later in life (like Dad's best friends son did) it is MUCH more painful and extensive. Ive seen it done, its brutal looking, im not going to lie, but it is true that he wont remember. And on a personal note, i think uncirc'd men look nasty. Im sorry to be blunt, but it really does! Just be sure your research comes from reliable sources aka medical books and not angry mothers who had a bad experience!

Looks like you got a lot of responses, but I'll chime in too. We are going to have our son circumsized simply because my husband is circumsized. We dont feel like we know enough about uncircumsized penises and their care, and we want our son to be like his dad.

Im sure there is evidence to contradict this, but I also think an uncircumsized penis is easier to clean and less likely to pick up an STD when he becomes active. (yes, hopefully he wont be that stupid, but still_)

We chose not to circumcise. Or, to phrase in more positive fashion - we kept MrMan as he was. While I can't really say for sure, I suspect he is the first male, on either side of the family, in a number of generations, to be left complete. I didn't do a lot of research (but given the field that my husband and I are in, we have some knowledge on the subject) but, despite the fact that it's the cultural norm in our society, I have a hard time with the idea of performing surgery (minor as it might be) just because it's expected. I'm happy with the choice, and hope that MrMan is too.

My son is 3 and is circ'd. It was the hardest thing to go through when he was 2 days old and having this done, but I'm glad we did and plan to circumcise any future boys.

I've heard and read a lot of folks who say that aesthetics are no reason to make this decision, but I completely disagree! So many men are either proud or self-conscious about their penises. It's a really big deal to them, even though we women know that it really doesn't matter. Personally, I didn't want to give my son something else to be self-conscious about when he's a teenager. Even if the locker rooms are more private when he gets older, what about when he begins having relationships with girls? Will they talk about it - will it be positive or negative? I have never seen an uncircumcised adult, but I know I would have probably chatted about it to my close friends at the time if I had.

Additionally, I would think it would be MUCH worse to have this procedure done as a boy, teenager, or adult than it is as a baby, and that the fear of the pain would discourage an older boy/man from having it done even if he really wanted to be circumcised. My son was back to his normal happy baby self a few hours after the snip and is no worse for wear now. That's my two cents ;).

We chose to not have H circumcised. Ultimately for me, it came down to a choice of the heart. I couldn't bear the thought of subjecting my days-old baby to a painful procedure that seemed needless. I did have some concern about the locker room issue, but we learned that the number of uncircumcised boys is growing, and where we live, the majority of boys are now uncircumcised. I had no worries over the cleanliness issue--it doesn't become a factor until later when the skin can actually be moved, and also, we have to teach little girls how to wash themselves correctly, why are we so worried that we can't teach boys as well? What surprised me (happily) was that my husband was never concerned over his son looking different from him--he simply said that when the time came, he would explain to H that some parents decide to have doctors make their son's penis look a certain way for religious tradition or personal aesthetics but that we love him just the way he was born and chose to leave him that way.

This was one where I totally deferred to my husband, being that he has the "equipment" LOL... Yes, both of our boys were circumcised. Good luck with your decision - I know it's a difficult one to make!

Lucas was circumcised. You know, I really didn't have an opinion one way or the other. I kind of left that decision up to Jeff. I don't know what it's like to have a penis, LOL! :) Also, I think that it's probably good that Lucas's looks like Daddy's, you know? I just kind of let Jeff take the lead on that one. I don't know whether that helps you! I'm sure that you'll make the right choice. I wasn't in the room when Lucas's was done. I went to take a shower in the hospital. I feel badly, kind of, that I wasn't there, but ... oh gosh, that would have been awful to witness (the crying!). But he did just great, the doctors told me. I remember having to make sure that the area was clean and then putting some petroleum jelly around the area and then some gauze before putting his new diaper on.