Just popping in for a quick update . . .
I haven't been doing so well lately to be honest. I found out yesterday that I have gestational diabetes, so I have to take a class on Monday to learn how to manage it. They'll give me a meter and teach me how to check my blood sugar 4 times a day-- something I'm not looking forward to. My blood sugar was really high and the nurse yelled at me, asking me what the heck I'd been eating. I haven't gone crazy with the sweets, but I do love my carbs. She was really stern with me and I almost cried right there in the office. My midwife was nicer about it, but also very serious in her instructions. I don't know yet if I need insulin. I'm actually starting to wonder if I had it when I had Olivia. I still have never passed sugar in my urine and I only scored 2 points higher on the first glucose test this time than I did the last time, so I just scraped by when I was pregnant with Olivia. This time, I assumed since I was just barely over the limit with the first test, that I probably didn't have it, but obviously, that's not true. I'm really bummed out.
My leg is healing ok, but the stupid dr's office hasn't returned my calls still about the MRSA results. I'm hoping since it's healing (but still nasty) that I don't have it.
The move has been hard. I miss my parents' house like crazy, which James doesn't get. I've been down a lot lately (hormones, stress, pain, etc) and it felt so good to have my mom there taking care of me and Olivia. I felt like a kid again, and right now, I really need that. James isn't always as sensitive as I'd like. He tries, but he doesn't get the whole crazy pregnant hormonal thing. Last night was our first night in the new house, and all I could do is sit on the couch and cry like a stupid baby missing my mom.
I'm freaking out about having another child to take care of soon, and I'm feeling really guilty about taking my attention away from Olivia. I just feel resentment about the whole pregnancy, almost like I'm blaming the baby for my diabetes and recent depression. I know it's not right, but I can't help it. I know I'll love him, but right now, everything seems overwhelming.
Posted by Hannah at March 25, 2008 09:52 PMOh honey, I hope tomorrow is better. It usually is in the morning. We all have days like this and please just know you're not alone and we all love you.
I'm sorry your nurse was such a jerk, and I'm so sorry about the gestational diabetes. Hopefully it won't be too tough to manage. HUGS.
xoxo
Posted by: girl from florida at March 25, 2008 10:35 PMI'm not sure if you're already on pregnancy forums online, but if you can, find one with a GD buddy group. I failed the 1-hour test miserably (even though I never really ate sugar and carbs) and read up everything I could possibly find before taking my 3-hour (which I did end up passing). I found that it's SO much easier when you can talk to other women going through the same thing and discuss your levels, testing times, etc. Most people don't end up needing injections, but even if you do, there's a lot of support out there. *hugs*
Posted by: Laura at March 25, 2008 11:30 PMI'm sorry that you have GD and the nurse was so mean about it. Maybe you dont' have MRSA, i know that diabetics often heal slower, maybe that's what is going on with your leg?
I felt pretty low when I was preggo with my son, it may be just different hormones and with so much going on right now that's why you are down. We know you'll love him and you are an excellant mom. I'm praying for you that you'll feel better and like Laura said, there's lots of support available. Take care.
I just sent you an epic email with my 'comment'. One piece of advice my paediatrician just recently gave me - which may help you here - is that Bubby can sense someone else is on the way. He may act out and seek extra attention because of it. The best thing we can do right now is be as even, normal and as 'equal' in our attention with him now as possible. In other words don't overcompensate now for what is going to happen when new sibling arrives. In his words, he said, "Kids have siblings, it happens. It's a fact of life. If we treat it like some major catastrophe and over compensate n-o-w, then it's going to be much worse later." So hubby and I have made a concerted effort to not give more attention than normal to Bubby - so that he doesn't feel the 'lack' of it when the new one arrives. The more matter of fact we are about it - the easier it will be for him to accept it. So while you have all these conflicting emotions about the new baby - try not to put your issues onto Olivia - I'll bet that she'll take her cue from you. If you're happy and excited for her - then she will behave the same way when he arrives. If you're concerned like she's going to be missing out and if you're resentful toward the baby - then she will pick up on that and you may have some problems on your hands. Look no ones perfect and I'm sure at some point ALL kids no matter what the parents approach will have issues with their siblings - but the least we can do is make it easier for them? Even if it has to be a bit of an 'act'.
Posted by: Rainbowfudge at March 26, 2008 07:51 AMGo easy on yourself. It's okay to cry about missing your mom. It's okay to be upset about your current physical state and its accompanying issues. It's okay to not focus all of your attention on Olivia. I hope things seem better today.
Posted by: shokufeh at March 26, 2008 10:30 AMI'm sorry Hannah. Tomorrow is another day though.
Posted by: Ani at March 26, 2008 02:28 PMHey if you have any questions about GD just email me... I had to test 5 times a day... and I can give you some great tips about saving your fingers... and if you have to do inslin shots, I'm sure Jeremy can give you guys some great tips on doing that too... I couldn't see over my boobs to do them so he did them...
Hang in there... but you have to cut out the sweets and lower your carb count... but, it will get better... hugs!
Posted by: Shannon at March 26, 2008 05:41 PMI am SURE that things will get better for you, Hannah. It'll just take some time. I'll hold good thoughts for you, for sure! You are going through a LOT right now, and like Shokufeh said, it's OK to feel the way that you do. Go easy on yourself. Do what you need to do right now. Everything's going to work out ... know that I'm here if you need to talk or need anything!
Posted by: Lisanne at March 26, 2008 09:19 PMHannah,
I was diagnosed with GD last May when I was pregnant with my daughter. I thought it was the end of the world, in fact, I DID cry at the educational visit and I was freaking out about pricking my finger- I HATE NEEDLES! Well, you know, it was actually a complete blessing in disguise! I only gained 15 lbs. in my pregnancy, lost that weight immediately and then 25 more right after birth ( I know bfing had a lot to do with it). My diet wasn't bad at all, 30 carbs for breakfast, 60 for lunch, 60 for dinner and 3 snacks of 30 each. The diet taught me how to eat better and after a couple of weeks, I quit craving sugar. When you have it in your diet regularly, you crave it, when you don't, then you don't crave it. My fav. breakfast was the Carnation instant breakfast with milk and one piece of toast with peanut butter. It was a lot of protein so it kept me full for awhile. Slimfasts are also good snacks with protein and easy since they are so on-the-go. Good luck with everything, and remember, it really CAN be a good thing! If you have questions, just e-mail me.