Teatopia

Belly Shot 16.5 weeks

Looking at this picture, I feel like my belly totally looks bigger than it does to me. (and wow! I just felt some major flutters. Maybe peanut is saying, "yes, mommy, you are that big!") Anyway, I get very bloated from time to time and I swear I wasn't this big this morning. With that said, I really have grown, just not sure it's as much as it looks in this picture.

Today I felt so impatient. I want to meet my baby girl. I just want to touch her and hold her, but then I realized that I do touch her. She's inside me, attached to me. Maybe I can't touch her with my hands, but she touches my insides. (sorry for being so sappy)

Pukey

Although my mood continues to be "elated", I am starting to feel slightly annoyed that my nausea refuses to leave. I have thrown up 4 times in 36 hours. At least I know what it's all for . . . and she is *so* worth it.

Pregnant or Fat?

Today I went out to lunch with some friends afer church and one couple had a newborn baby girl with them. It made me so excited to meet our baby girl!

Last night I made a light switch cover for her room. I painted little wooden letters for her first and middle name (You'll have to wait to find out what it is)! I also painted little elephants and giraffes on it. It turned out really well and it matches the bedding perfectly. I am trying to think of other things I can make for her room!

I need to post a picture of my tummy. It is growing, although it's not as firm as I thought it would be. I can still suck it in some. Is this normal or am I just fat? It's not just my abdomen sticking out now. It's also the part above my belly button. I have nothing to compare it to, so I don't know how I am supposed to look. GFF, please post or send me a picture soon so we can compare tummies! :-)

On Cloud 9

I have been on cloud 9 all day. I can't stop thinking about that little wiggle worm in my tummy. Now that I am over the shock, I can share the details of yesterday's ultrasound.

First of all, my tech said that she is quite active! She changed positions constantly and seems to enjoy playing with her feet. She has all her fingers and toes and they even checked things like her liver, stomach, brain, etc. From what I could tell, she is perfect. She measured almost a week ahead, but I am sticking with my original due date for now because I was tracking my ovlation and know when I conceived. I think it's right. I am actually relieved because I haven't been eating 300 calories more per day or even eating quite as much as I was pre-pregnancy. I guess I don't need to worry though, because she looks fine. She currently weighs about 6 ounces.

James is one proud Daddy. He watched the DVD of our baby 4 times yesterday and smiled and commented every time she moved a foot or lifted her head. He even picked out an outfit for her from Toys 'R Us last night. He keeps telling me that he loves both his girls. He was sad to leave us this weekend, but he made it safely to Maryland.

And unless I have some major gas tonight, I am feeling flutter after flutter. She's at it again-- this peanut can't stay still. :-) I can't wait until I feel kicks. I love this baby girl already. God's blessings never cease to amaze me. I wish James was here to take my picture because this mama has grown. Not sure what I've gained because the doc forgot to weigh me last week and I didn't complain. :-) It'll just be more of a shock next time when I learn that I've gained 500 pounds. :-) Really though, I doubt I've gained more than 7 pounds, and 4 of them are in my chest and butt!

Our Little One

The ultrasound was completely amazing. The second our baby popped up on the screen, I was in shock. Could this really be inside me? It's an active peanut, complete with all its digits. And actually, it's not an "it" at all . . .

I would like to introduce you to my daughter!!! It's a GIRL, just as I hoped and prayed for.

Here is her arm:

This is a view from under her bottom, as if she were sitting on the camera. :-)

This last picture is 4D, and it works better when the fetus has more fat in its face, so the image isn't great, but it's our little girl. :-)

Still Love Me?

If I don't start posting something happy, ya'll aren't going to come back. Something happy is bound to happen soon, just not today. My grandma has a fever, meaning that she could have yet another infection. Infection was the reason they had to take out the knee replacement in the first place. They put it back in last week and now she has a fever and her hemoglobin isn't good. I am so worried this whole mess will be what takes her. Please pray for her.

In other sad news, a dear friend and teammate at school was poisoned today by a student. A student poured a bottle of hand sanitizer in her tea and she drank a huge gulp before realizing it. She has been horribly sick and she's so upset that someone would do that to her. It happened to another teacher on my team last week. How sad is it when you can't even safely have an open drink on your desk for fear that someone will put something harmful in it? It makes me scared . . .

At least tomorrow is our ultrasound. We are getting the 3D kind and they assure us they'll know what it is. Perhaps I'll have a bit of happy news to share tomorrow? Right now I'm pretty damn sad.

So Much for Feeling Better

When the phone rang last night at 11 something, I just knew someone had to be dead. No one ever calls us that late on weeknights and I just had a feeling. My first thought was that it must be my grandma, but when James sleepily looked at the caller ID and said it was his mom, I felt relief. He decided not to answer. Still, I felt that something was wrong. Turns out James's dear Uncle George is dead. They e-mail all the time and James has always been close to him. In fact, when we went to visit last Christmas, Uncle George paid for a rental car for us. James will be leaving Friday to attend the funeral and he thinks I should stay here. I agree it's probably best, but I feel so left out. I hate that he'll be up in Maryland with his family (they're mine too) and I'll be here, alone. First of all, most of his family smokes and he doesn't want me around it. Also, it's going to be $500 or so just for him. I hate that he'll miss Trick-or-Treating and the lunch we had planned Sunday with some couples from church. At least if I stay, I'll be able to go to the huge Christmas craft fair I am supposed to go to on Friday evening. Also, there's the problem with finding someone to watch Gracie and Wrigley, our dogs. It's just plain easier if I stay.

Do you think we made the right choice? After how I was feeling yesterday, this has only made it worse. A weekend alone while my family is grieving at a funeral without me.

Worried and Stressed

Tonight I am feeling kind of frustrated. My grandma, after having her knee replacement put back in last Thursday, had to have yet another surgery today because her knee was bleeding pretty badly. They didn't find the cause, but they said they normally don't. Now they're just going to watch it to see if the bleeding stops. I feel so badly for her. It's hard to keep going to the hospital all the time and visiting her when I am so tired. It's also hard that everyone else is so busy with her because I kind of feel left out, even though I shouldn't. This is such a special time for me and my family is so pre-occupied. We weren't even sure my mom could come to my first ultrasound this week because she had to transfer my grandma to a recovery place. Thankfully, a dear family friend said she'd be happy to do it so my mom can go see her first grandbaby's ultrasound. I have been stressed worrying over my grandma and I am exhausted from working, taking classes, visiting her, and feeling generally tired.

I also am feeling fat. The only time I even look a little pregnant is when I have eaten and my tummy sticks out. Other than that, my lower abdomen sticks out a bit and I can feel my uterus when I press on my tummy. I am so bloated and my tummy (actual stomach) is too fat.

Yet, I have so much to be happy about. I am crazy excited about my ultrasound Thursday, even though I'm a bit nervous, yet I am dwelling on the negative. Someone talk me out of this, pretty please?

Meant to Be

Blame it on the hormones, but I've been sad about getting rid of James's old car. I guess it's because it was our first car together and we have many great memories in it. We took many vacations in it, and it was even decorated by our wedding party for our honeymoon.

The new car, who I am getting used to, has been named Alfred. James says that Alfred sounds like a butler's name, and his car takes him where he needs to go (yes, I know, we're wierd). Anyway, my car was bought about 4 years ago and her name is Victoria. I have been joking that my car is sad and misses Buddy, the old car. And then today, it hit me. Totally unplanned. Victoria and Alfred . . . my South African friends will get it.

Click below for the answer if you are totally lost. :-)

Our favorite place in the whole entire world is the Victoria & Alfred Waterfront in Cape Town, South Africa. :-) Our cars are meant to be. It's funny because I named my car 4 years ago before I even thought about going to South Africa, and James's car was named after a butler in a movie. But there you have it. I know I am really retarded. It just made me laugh because I was wearing my Victoria & Alfred sweatshirt from Cape Town today and I thought it was a funny coincidence. That, or I have WAY too much time to be thinking of these things. :-)

Forgive Me Father, for I Have Sinned

Last night James and I went to a Halloween dance at my school. I went as a nun-- a pregnant nun. :-) Some of the other things I tried on really made me look pregnant. I'm used to wearing baggy shirts to work, and since most of my students don't know, I decided this nun constume hid my bump quite well. Here though, I am pulling tightly so you can see my tummy. :-)

P.S. In case you were wondering, those are NOT my glasses. It's all part of the costume folks.

Life

Today my grandma had yet another surgery to put her knee replacement back in-- the 4th in less than a year. Although I didn't post about it yesterday because I was too upset, I have been so worried. We had a huge family dinner last night at Carabba's and we said a tearful goodbye to my grandma, worried that we'd never see her again. 3 hours under anesthesia when you're 80 is no small thing. I am so thankful to God that she came out of it ok. I am off to see her now.

Today a student said that she hated me and hoped my baby died. All because I made her eat her lunch silently for disrupting my class repeatedly. I am speechless as to how a student, who I have been close to, would say something so hurtful. I almost cried in the middle of class.

Didn't get the chance to buy maternity clothes last night, so I suffered through a day in tight pants. My poor baby is probably squished. I can't wait to go home to my sweatpants.

Heard it Again! :-)

Today I had another great appointment! I'm still a little sore from all the examining and they took 5 tubes of blood for routine testing, leaving me a bit light-headed. We got to hear the heartbeat again though. It was harder to find this time. The peanut had moved to the other side of my tummy since the last visit, but once we found him/her, we heard a nice, strong heartbeat! I have my first ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday. I can't wait! The doctor said today that I am starting to show-- that he can feel my uterus protruding. I think I might go look at maternity clothes this evening after dinner at Carraba's with my family.

So NOT a Morning Person

Lately I have been having this nightmare that I turn my alarm off in my sleep and miss work. In the dream, the secretary calls me and asks where I am and I always wake up paranoid. Today this happened to my friend B, except that he really didn't worry that much. I know I would. I can't imagine kids in my classroom with no teacher. Ugh.

I guess I worry about this because I am NOT a morning person. Once I'm up, I can appreciate a beautiful morning, but if I had it my way, I wouldn't ever get out of bed before 10:00 am ever again. I like staying up late and sleeping in! I know that one peanut arrives, there won't be any more sleeping in for me, but for now, I sure do enjoy it.

Are you a morning or a night person?

Good News Revealed

I feel like poo-poo. I think I had some of you thinking it was baby news, but it's not. Actually, it's something we needed before the peanut arrives. We got a new car! Because I'm extra emotional, I was very sad to see "Buddy" (James's old car) go. I am keeping mine because it's newer. The new car is an L series Saturn. The other car was a Saturn too, as is mine. We like our Saturns. :-)

A Relaxing Saturday Night

Tonight we are enjoying a quiet night at home complete with pizza and a movie. I have been super tired today (who ever said that you get more energy when your 2nd trimester begins was joking!), so I am loving staying home with my hhubby in my PJ's. We just ordered one of the new deep dish pizzas from Papa John's and we're going to watch "Because of Winn Dixie".

We also have some nice news from today, but I'll wait until tomorrow when I have a picture! :-) Any guesses?

Meet Fred and Ethel

Yesterday, I went to the Farmer's Market to pick out our pumpkins. I came home with Fred and Ethel. Fred is the warty one.

The Blondest Brunette I Know

Yesterday, while many people slept in and enjoyed a day off, I had to go to school for a teacher planning day. We started the morning off with a faculty meeting, and at the end of the meeting, our principal asked if anyone had any announcements. Knowing the news of my pregnancy was making its way around, I decided to announce it so people would stop staring at my stomach and whispering behind my back. I quietly put up my hand, and no one noticed. So, my gay friend B (and the gay part is relevant later) waved his arms furiously to get the principal's attention. When he looked over, I stood up and quietly announced that yes, I am in fact pregant and then immediately sat down. After the clapping and good wishes stopped, the principal asked B if he too had an announcement. B sat there confused as to why the principal would think he had an announcement. Um, maybe because a minute ago, when he asked if anyone had an announcement, you waved your hand furiously? So he sat there for a minute, dumbfounded, before answering, "Um, no, it's not mine!" and he was completely serious. Being the quiet, rather proper girl that I am, I immediately turned a bright shade of pink and snapped "AS IF ANYONE THOUGHT IT WAS!!!" Now to me, it's obvious B is gay. The regular wearing of pink shirts in a variety of shades gives it away to me, but some teachers don't know. There are a few teachers who have hinted at our closeness before-- "does your husband know how close you are to B?" Um, yes, not that it's any of your damn business and oh, BTW, he likes MEN!! Why did he have to say that? How could he think our principal was implying he's the father? He is so, so blonde and I am so, so humiliated.

A further explanation: What makes this so funny (and embarrasing) is that B wasn't kidding. If you knew him, it'd be easier to understand. :-) He looked so genuinely confused when the principal asked him if he had something to say too. Also, I should have also said that there were people there from United Way. Nope, this was a normal day for B. He embarrases me all the time with random comments. He's the creative, ditzy type, but I love him. :-)

Things Are Looking Up

It never ceases to amaze me when God answers a prayer. After having a downer of a day on Saturday, we were invited to go to lunch on Sunday by some nice people from church who are around our age. The couple that invited us has a baby too! Although this doesn't mean my problem is solved, it tells me that God is always listening and he heard my cry that day. As I sat there chatting away to the girl who invited us, watching her baby as he wiped crackers every where, I couldn't help but think that I need to depend on God more often. Later on Sunday, I talked with a friend who I hadn't seen in a year, and guess what! She's pregnant! And . . . I have a wonderful group of friends through this blog, and even though I can't see all of you in person, I know I have people I can talk to and depend on. There's also my friend Eva who reads this blog. She lives in Atlanta and she's pregnant too. We had a great time the last time we met. You're right, we need to go shopping! Amanda too!!! :-)

In other good news, through the girls at church, I learned about a place here that does the 4D ultrasounds. You don't need to go through your doctor, you just call them directly. The coolest thing? They can tell you at 16 weeks what the sex of the baby is. I will be calling them this week . . . :-)

Feeling Sorry . . .

Today I didn't do much but feel sorry for myself and it's not just my hormones . . . I spent some time crying because I feel *so* alone right now. I miss my friends in Maryland. And out of the friends I have here, none of them have kids. In fact, my closest friends are pretty much single. I want a friend to go baby clothes shopping with. None of them are interested in the baby thing. It's so far from where they are in their lives. They go to clubs and stay out late. I had lunch with my friend B today. I talked about baby stuff and he talked about the gay club in Atlanta he went to last night. So not on the same page. I'll be "that friend who has the baby" soon and it's not like I have friends with kids to hang out with more after babykins arrives. I'll be even lonelier. If you recall this post, I felt alone during the last most significant time in my life and now it's happening again.

Then I went to try on maternity clothes and I looked just plain fat. No adorable, rounded pregnant belly, nope. Just fat. My stomach is even sticking out (water retention?) You would never guess I was pregnant if you saw me on the streets. I look like someone who ate too many donuts.

The Weekend is Here! (and stuff about poop)

We were supposed to go out with some friends tonight, but when they had to cancel, I was almost relieved. That means my lazy ass can go to bed a whole 2 hours earlier because we won't be out so late. Ah . . . sweet sleep . . .

Tonight we are going to the best steakhouse in the entire world. Not sure if I'm in a meat-eating mood, but I can pick at one and enjoy it tomorrow. I haven't had much of an appetite because of poop. Every where I went today smelled like poop. My classroom has smelled like poop for the last few days. I thought it was me (hehe, not that I smelled, that I was the only one smelling the poop), but 2 other teachers confirmed that yes, it indeed smelled like someone took a big dump in my room. I don't even want to know why my room smelled like doo-doo. Then this afternoon, I went to visit my grandma, who BTW is still in an assisted living place temporarily until her knee replacement is put back in, and I went to get a drink at a soda machine. Little did I know that the large trashman in the way of the machine was filled sky-high with poopy diapers, and they were not from babies.

So, my appetite today has been a little off. I guess it's good I'm getting used to the smell of poop. I will have a lot of it to clean soon, but at least it won't bother me when it's my baby's.

Do you think I'd get in trouble if I sprayed down each student with Lysol next week?

Um . . . Do I Know You?

Some random people named Jeff and Lauren Martin put us down as references for an application and I've never heard of them. I asked the lady to tell me the names they had written down, and they had both James and me down, along with our home telephone number. ???????? James doesn't know them either. Think they just got us out of the phone book or something? Too weird.

Moroccan Lentil Soup

I am now in fall mode, even though we are so far from fall temperatures here. Still, a girl can wish. :-) Tonight I made a a comforting, Moroccan lentil soup. It smelled wonderful while it was cooking and there is plenty left over for lunches this week. If you want a comforting, cold-weather soup, then this soup's for you!

Click below for the recipe!

INGREDIENTS:
2 onions, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
6 cups water
1 cup red lentils
1 (15 ounce) can garbanzo beans, drained
1 (19 ounce) can cannellini beans
1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1/2 cup diced carrots
1/2 cup chopped celery
1 teaspoon garam masala
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cardamom
1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon olive oil

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DIRECTIONS:
In large pot saute; the onions, garlic, and ginger in a little olive oil for about 5 minutes.
Add the water, lentils, chick peas, white kidney beans, diced tomatoes, carrots, celery, garam masala, cardamom, cayenne pepper and cumin. Bring to a boil for a few minutes then simmer for 1 to 1 1/2 hours or longer, until the lentils are soft.
Puree half the soup in a food processor or blender. Return the pureed soup to the pot, stir and enjoy!

We Heard It!

Today was the most amazing day of my pregnancy yet! We heard the heart beat! James, my mom, and my sister were there too. I told myself I wouldn't cry, but who was I kidding? I immediately starting sobbing like a total loser, and the doctor even said that if I didn't keep my stomach still, that no one else would be able to hear it. It was so strong and loud and it was the most amazing sound. It made it so much more REAL. Except for horrible nausea, I have had no real proof that there really is a tiny person in my tummy. It amazes me how I can love something so much that I've never seen.

And to add to the excitement, here are my week 12 belly pics. Excuse the big ass. Although it doesn't look very different from a month ago, it has rounded out more.

Thank God for Indian Food

After church today, I dragged James to my favorite Indian restuarant (ok, so it's the only one around, but one of the best I've been to). I just have to say that eating all the various dishes was one of the happiest, most satisfying moments I've had in a while. Give a pregnant women what she's been craving and she's a happy camper. Hopefully the peanut enjoyed his/her lunch too. I could eat Indian food every day, 3 meals a day. I mean, why the heck not? Indians do! It has got to be my favorite type of food, followed by Thai. Perhaps I need to go one of these? :-)

What's your favorite cuisine?

A Pain in the Butt

For some odd reason, my butt (specifically the tailbone area) has been hurting something awful for the past week or so. I can't sit for more than a few minutes and it even hurts to laugh or sneeze. I've had no injuries or anything and I can't figure out why it hurts so much. I am almost wondering if I have a pinched nerve or something pressing somewhere as I've heard pregnant women can get. However, I always aassumed it was because of pressure from weight gained, but I've only gained maybe a couple of pounds. I have an OBGYN appt Monday, so I plan to ask my doctor about it (and hope to hear the heart beat too!) I can't go on like this. All I want to do it sit and I can't. Anyone have any advice?