Teatopia

Birth Story

What? Two entries in one day? Can it be?

I actually found the time today between feedings, diaper changes, and millions of kisses to write my birth story. BTW, I have to add that Olivia slept well last night! She slept from 11:40-3:45, 4:30-8:00, and 8:30-10:00. I hate to get too excited, because generally, she is up until at least 2:30 every night before she even thinks about going to sleep. *keeping my fingers crossed for tonight*

And now for my birth story:

This will probably be extremely long, detailed, and a bit personal, but it is our story and I want to tell it exactly as it was.

I’m not exactly sure where to begin because I’m not positive when the symptoms I experienced went from pre-labor to actual labor. I had been dilated and effaced for quite a while, after all. I think the real symptoms leading up to my labor began on Sunday, April 9. Oddly enough, I had eaten Eggplant Parmesan the evening before and had eaten the leftovers that day. I noticed that my body began “cleaning itself out”. I’ve read and heard that this is a sign labor is coming. All day, whatever I ate seemed to go right through, so I was hopeful. I was scheduled to have my membranes stripped that Monday, April 10, so I figured Olivia would be here soon anyway, hopefully.

The next morning, my body continued to clean itself out. At 11:15, James took me to see the OBGYN. One of the first things he said to me was that he was surprised I hadn’t gone into labor on my own already since I had been dilated and effaced for so long. He said that that was why he never ventured any guesses because sometimes he was wrong. At this appointment, I was almost 3 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced. At that appointment, he stripped my membranes a bit (he said only a little) and recommended an induction if I didn’t go into labor soon. I had pitting edema in my feet and I had been urinating every 10 minutes with painful bladder spasms. He also guessed that the baby was 8 or 8.5 pounds (she was close to 8 lbs, 11 oz!) We decided to schedule it for Thursday if nothing had happened.

Almost immediately I began cramping and bleeding from the exam and having my membranes stripped. The discomfort continued all afternoon and I had a few contractions, but nothing regular—maybe 1 an hour. I had read that stripping membranes causes cramping, so I wasn’t sure if something was really happening or not. That evening, around 6:30, my family met for dinner. As usual, I had to urinate as soon as I got there, and when I was walking back to the table, I had a strong contraction (although not painful) followed by bad back pain that didn’t stop. The back pain continued for a few hours and would sometimes get worse. My mom said that she thought it was something, but I really didn’t At the time, I was under the impression that the baby might’ve been pressing on something in my back. I didn’t think the pain was from contractions because it seldom let up. I was wrong. I looked up my symptoms in What to Expect When You’re Expecting and it said that this was a sign of labor. I was also having more than just spotting from my appointment. I think it was bloody show. Around 11:30, James and I decided to go to bed. Around 12:30, I began have contractions 3-5 minutes apart, but they really weren’t painful at all. However, they were very regular and close together. After an hour, we decided to get ready to go to the hospital and call my doctor, but around 1:30, they stopped. I waited and waited for another one, and it didn’t come. I was really confused and figured having my membranes stripped could be causing this. I finally fell back to sleep.

At around 3:40, I was awakened by a horrible menstrual cramp. I immediately sat up because it had been so uncomfortable. I got up and went to the bathroom and had another one. I got back in bed and had another just a few minutes later. These were not like the ones I had experienced earlier. I woke James up and while we were talking, another one came. These were much more intense and painful, not like the ones before. There was no doubt. These were the real deal and I knew from what I’d heard that they would get worse before it was all over. I couldn’t even imagine that. They were immediately 3-4 minutes apart, but I was scared they’d stop again. I was hesitant to call because what if they stopped? They hurt really badly though and I couldn’t stand the thought of staying home and just waiting. While we were debating, I thought I felt something trickling out on my pad. I got up and ran into the bathroom. As soon as I sat down on the toilet, a gush of water came. I was so relieved. Now, there was no question at all. I called my OBGYN and told him. Then I called my parents and grandma who said they’d all meet us there. We left for the hospital minutes later (but not before I posted the update on my blog!).

We hit every green light on the way to the hospital. Although I was in tremendous pain, I was pleased that I got to experience the whole middle of the night, rushing to the hospital situation with James. Now I wasn’t going to have to be induced! When we arrived at the emergency room entrance, I had the hardest, worst contraction yet. I told James that I didn’t think I could walk, so he ran in and had them bring out a chair. I was trying to breathe as best I could. The lady took me up to Labor and Delivery while James parked the car. When I got upstairs, I saw my family and James arrived around that time. They took me to an admitting area where I was asked to change into a gown. I laid down on the bed and tried to breathe through my pain. James was not allowed back to be with me. I was scared and wanted him there. A nurse explained that there wasn’t anyone available to check me, so she’d do it. (I would hear this a million times more from her). She said I was 4.5 centimeters dilated, but that they’d have to verify my water had broken. She did a test with a swab and it came out positive, but she said the test was invalid because I was bleeding a bit. I assured her my waters were broken, but she was doubtful. I had the feeling they weren’t definitely going to admit me even though my contractions were so close. I could be wrong. She then said that she was going to do something that would release more water if the water had already broken. When she took her hand out, she said, “nope, nothing” and then, all of a sudden, water gushed everywhere. I murmured something like “I told you my water had broken!” I guess that was enough for them to admit me. I told the lady right away that I wanted an enema (remember my fears about pooping on the dr) and they said it’d be a while. Finally, they let James come back and we waited for a room. A while later (I’m not sure how long, I was in too much pain) I was wheeled into labor and delivery. I was hooked up to the monitors and given an IV, which took forever. I started asking for an epidural (I was miserable!) but the nurse who was “helping me because no one else was available” ignored me. Then, another nurse came and began working with me. My family came in at some point, but I can’t remember when. All I remember is hurting and trying to breathe through the contractions. I was almost completely unaware of anything but my pain. I continued to ask for an enema, but they checked me and I was 6 centimeters dilated. It was too late. I could tell that they put it off and ignored me. My OBGYN had said that they often ignore those orders and that I’d have to remind them. I was annoyed, but too tired to care. I continued to ask for an epidural—I’d already been there 2 ½ hours, but they said they hadn’t done the blood work yet to allow me to get one. My family yelled at them and asked why not? I’d been there so long already. They decided to give me phenergan. The contractions still hurt terribly, but I didn’t care as much. It was good stuff. I vaguely remember the nurse asking me a million questions and typing the answers into a computer and I remember another guy coming to ask me questions about an epidural. James said I didn’t answer half of them and had to be asked twice. Finally, someone came to draw my blood. Around this time, the nurse checked me and I was close to 8 centimeters dilated. Still no epidural. I was approaching transition and I was miserable. The nurses really weren’t that kind and didn’t seem to care that I was hurting. When I was in L & D during my car accident, the nurses were lovely. I wasn’t so lucky this time. At last, an anesthesiologist came to give me my epidural. It didn’t hurt and at all and I felt immediate relief. I was able to sleep some off and on for the next couple of hours. I remember my family coming in and out, taking turns, and also nurses and other people coming to check me. The reality of what was happening still had not hit me. All I could think about was sleeping.

The next time the nurse checked me, I was fully dilated, but the nurse said she wanted me to labor more because the baby needed to come down another centimeter or so. But, when my OBGYN came in, he said no, that it was time to push! I was actually disappointed because I wanted to sleep more. (I really wasn’t myself at all). I began pushing, but it was hard because I couldn’t feel the contractions very well. That would change. I pushed for an hour or so I think, and then I started to feel the contractions. I kept telling them that I was hurting, but they didn’t say much. The pain was mostly on my left side at first, and I kept pressing the button to get more medicine in the epidural, but it didn’t help. I continued pushing and pushing and feeling the contractions helped me know when to push. The baby didn’t come down like they wanted, although at one point, when the nurse pulled back my skin, the baby’s head was somewhat visible and James, my mom, and grandma (who were with me in the delivery room) got to see it. Finally, after almost 2 hours of painful pushing, my OBGYN said that we needed to use a vacuum. Initially, I had planned not to use one, but it was obvious that it was needed. The first one they tried kept coming off the baby’s head and I could tell my OBGYN was getting really frustrated. I was too, because I was really hurting and feeling the pain and I wanted her out! The second vacuum attached much better and after continuing to push, she began to come down more. I pushed with all my might because it was hurting so much and I knew it was the only way I’d feel relief. It’s odd-- never really thought about the baby. I didn’t think about meeting her or that she was almost here. I was hurting so badly that all I could think about was having it all be over. Even between pushes, I felt completely out of it, like all I wanted to do was sleep for the precious moments in between contractions. James and my mom were holding my legs and my grandma was seated on the couch. With one push, I peed everywhere. I saw it spray a bit, but it did not get on my doctor. He said something about the nurses and them not having catheterized me. At one point, as I was pushing, James looked “down there” and made a nasty face. “This is it,” I thought. “I’ve gone and pooped all over the place.” I was scared to ask because I hadn’t received my enema, but it turns out, just as James looked; the doctor cut me with scissors. He’d cut more later, but I’m not quite sure when he did. All I know is that I was feeling so much pressure; I really couldn’t feel the pain from the episiotomy.

I can’t really say at what point my daughter came out because everything hurt so much. I couldn’t tell when she actually was out. I vaguely remember them holding her up, and then the next thing I knew, my doctor said, “you can touch her,” and I looked down and she was on my stomach. It was 11:52 on April 11. All the emotions I thought would come didn’t. I was not moved as I thought I’d be. I know I cried, but it was a combination of many feelings—shock, relief, pain from the continuing contractions (weren’t they supposed to stop when the baby came out???) and sheer exhaustion. They took her over to the table to work with her and I continued breathing through the contractions. I kept saying, “Aren’t they supposed to stop?” and then I remembered that the placenta still had to come and that’s why they continued. My OBGYN pressed on my tummy and waited for the placenta. When it finally came, I caught a glimpse of it and decided I really didn’t want to see it. Shortly after, he began stitching me up, which took at least 20 minutes. I watched some of what they were doing with my daughter, but I felt left out of that whole process. James was videotaping it so I could see it later, and my mom and grandma were watching her get cleaned up, bathed, etc. I felt like a spectator at that point, watching everyone in the room watching her. I waited and waited for what seemed like forever for them to bring her to me. I was still hurting so badly. I felt like I had been run over by a bus. When they finally brought my daughter to me, the feelings of shock and confusion returned. I was too overwhelmed. I felt love yes, but mostly complete and utter shock. I also felt guilt. Wasn’t I supposed to be sobbing over my love for this child? What was wrong with me? Everyone assured me my feelings were normal, but I felt confused by my reaction. Soon after, I began to try to nurse her. She nursed a little and I kept touching her, looking at her. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do or say.

It didn’t take long though for me to fall completely, utterly in love with Olivia. I would do anything for this child and I can’t imagine life without her now.

I know this was a longer birth account than most people write, but I wanted to remember every detail of our story—mine and Olivia’s.

Last night . . .

. . . I went out to eat. with friends. with the baby. It felt like old times, except that Olivia was happily sleeping next to me in her carrier-- that is, until she decided to wake up and scream. Luckily, her smart mommy had pumped milk to bring in a bottle. It felt so good to get out and see my friends, just like old times, except that some of my attention was spent trying to console the baby. I was trying to catch up on my news and gossip from my 2 good friends Rebecca and B. B didn't know I was coming, and when I walked in, he screamed. I know I've only been out of the loop a few weeks, but B has gone totally out and proud on me. He's always been gay, but he had on a tight tee and a bandana on his head. Whoa!

"So what have I missed at work?" (patting the baby)
"Are you and S officially a couple now?" (trying to bounce baby on knee)
"Are you going out later tonight" (wiping spilled milk off baby's chin)

I felt like Miranda from "Sex and the City". After she has her baby, she meets the girls as usual, but brings the baby. He is a constant distration and she begs her friends to pay attention to her and pretend things are the same. I was happy Olivia was there though. :-)

In case you didn't see above, Rebecca has started a blog. Go say hello! :-)

Belly Buttons and Sleep Deprevation

-- Olivia's umbilacle stump fell off this morning, but it's still kind of gooey. The pediatrician said it sounds like it might need to be lanced??? Please, dear Lord, don't hurt my baby!!! We are going at 1:45 to have it looked at. *fingers crossed* that they don't have to do ANYTHING that hurts my baby girl. I can not handle it.

-- For those of you who said your baby was on a reversed sleep schedule, how/when did it finally change?? I am desperate. Help!!!

Beautiful Baby

I am loving being a mommy, even if that means barely getting any sleep! She seems to have her days and nights mixed up. If we could only flip her schedule, we'd be getting a decent night's sleep. It's still early though, so I'm sure it's normal not to be on a schedule quite yet.

I am glad to say that breastfeeding is continuing to go well. I am *so* glad I stuck it out and didn't just give up. Believe me, I had friends who kindly encouraged me to throw in the towel to take away some of the pressure, but it was worth the stress. I am so glad things have gotten better. I held Olivia's tiny hand and said a prayer every time we tried to breast feed, and eventually, our prayers were answered.

Olivia mostly sleeps in her pack 'n play, but after a difficult night last night, I brought her into bed with me around 4:00 am. This morning, I was awakened by her attempting to nurse through my night gown. I could feel her little mouth grasping for breakfast. It was just precious!

Tomorrow is my first day on my own. I am a little nervous. I have been spoiled by having my mom and James here since we came home from the hospital. We have also been lucky to have friends from church bringing food. They have brought us food every night since last Monday. Tonight is the last night for that. Tomorrow starts my new career as a SAHM. :-) I am pleased to say that things at school are going well in my absence. I talked to my long-term sub yesterday, and it sounds like I have nothing to worry about. What a relief!

I have been wondering, how many hours in a 24 period does/did your baby sleep the first few weeks? When did it seem like the baby actually started to stay awake for longer periods of time?

Happy Blogiversary to me!

I've been so busy with baby girl that I missed my blog's 2nd birthday yesterday!

The last year has been wonderful-- by far the best year of my life. Two dreams came true in the last year: going to South Africa and giving birth to my precious daughter.

Answered Prayers

Meeting with the lactation consultant on Tuesday really helped a lot! The problem was actually quite simple, but having never done this before, I just didn't know. She said that I have more milk than most women and that because I was so engorged, the baby couldn't latch on to anything. My nipples were just too hard and swollen. I have been pumping a bit out before nursing and this has really helped. I am looking forward to a morning when my bra isn't soaking wet when I wake up. I nurse her and just a few hours later, the pads and my bra are soaked through. Ugh. This success has been a huge weight off my shoulders (or should I say chest?) and I feel so relieved to be able to nurse our daughter. We are still working on a good latch, but at least I am able to feed her from me. The other day, I tried to give her a bottle of breast milk and she spit it out and turned to my breast, mouth open. I almost cried. She wants me and not that stupid, plastic nipple. Good girl, Olivia. :-)

We actually got some sleep last night. I woke uo 3 times to nurse her, but instead of fussing for an hour, she decided to go back to sleep. She is sleeping about half the night in her bed and half the night in ours. She used to not sleep in her bed at all-- she'd only cry, so we are making progress there too. I have found that a sleep positioner works well for her.

I added a photo album to my sidebar of Olivia's first week. You can also access it by clicking here. I remember Chas posting that she looked awful after giving birth. I thought she looked quite pretty. I look downright haggard. I still have to post my birth story. I will tell you this much: they didn't give me my epidural until I was freakin' 8 centimeters and when it wore off, they did nothing. I have a right to look awful. :-)

1 Week Old

Dear Olivia,

Today you are a week old. How is it possible that I didn't have you a week ago and now I couldn't live without you? You are my heart and my whole world. The other night I had a dream that there was a big tornado and I didn't know where you were. In the dream, I was crying and screaming, "God, please protect my daughter!" I cared nothing for myself, only you. Now, I know the dream was silly, but it really does represent how I feel about you. I'd do anything to make you happy.

This past week hasn't been easy. We've been through nights with little sleep and hours upon hours of nursing difficulties, but we are getting through it and are growing closer. I'm sure these next few weeks will bring us closer to a good nursing routine and hopefully a more normal sleeping schedule (or so I'm hoping).

Even though I've only known you a week, there are already a million things I love about you. Here are my favorites:

*the way your fuzzy head feels on my cheek
*your inquisitive expressions
*the way you only often only open one eye
*when you stick your tongue out and move it around to let me know you want to nurse
*your little squeaks
*your loud farts (hard to believe sometimes)
*the way you snuggle against me when we sleep
*the rolls of fat on your thighs
*the way you suck in your bottom lip and it disappears

I am so proud to be your mommy, and I already have cried over the thought of you leaving me someday. I'm sure part of it is hormones, but I can't imagine you needing me less than you do right now. I love that you are so dependent on me, yet I am eager for you to learn things for yourself.

Know that your Daddy and I love you more than anything. You are a blessed little girl to be so loved. You will always be supported and adored no matter what.

All my love,
Mommy

Happy Easter

Happy Easter, everyone! I'm sorry my mommy didn't post this sooner but she was too busy feeding, changing, and loving me. :-)

This New Life

This mommy thing has been harder than I expected, so I haven't been able to update since getting home. I still have to write my birth story, but for now, here are some highlights from the last few days along with some pictures of our precious daughter:

-- She is absolutely wonderful and I can't believe I'm her mommy. I feel so blessed to have been able to quit my job to spend my days with this little girl.

-- Nursing-- something I thought would be fairly simple-- hasn't been easy. She won't latch on well and it has left me in tears almost every time. At her first appt, she weighed almost a pound less and I thought my heart would break. My milk has finally come in, but she won't latch on, so I am often having to pump (ouch!) to feed her. I feel like feeding her is something I should be able to do, but she just doesn't latch. She latches on and pulls off. She also waves her arms around everywhere. Yet, she likes to hold my nipple in her mouth to go to sleep. It comforts her. We are going to the hospital on Monday to a lactation consultant for help. This is something I badly want to do and it's been really disheartening. Thankfully, she is gaining weight and at least has all the food she needs, regardless of how she's getting it.

-- She farts really loudly and it's the cutest, funniest thing ever! I love all her sounds!

-- Despite my decision to have her sleep in the pack 'n play, we have decided that co-sleeping is working best for us. I don't know how people get a baby to sleep on it's back, with no blankets. I had a rough, painful delivery (her size had something to do with this: almost 9 pounds!) and I'm willing to do anything to get her to sleep. I think when the nursing thing is worked out and I have healed, we will transition her into her bed next to ours.

-- I have been really emotional, which I know is normal, but it has made the nursing difficulties and my lack of sleep awful. I had zero hours of sleep the first 2 nights.

-- Just hours after my delivery, James presented me with a white gold pendant of a mommy silhouette holding a baby. Underneath, is a diamond for Olivia's birthstone. It made me cry.

-- My mom has been staying here to help us, even though she only lives 15 minutes away. She and James have been great, helping with the baby, and consoling me. I now see how much my mom loves me. Having Olivia has shown me.

-- I have TONS of pictures to upload and I intend to create a photo album online soon, but for now, here are some sneak peaks. Excuse the quality. They are from my cell phone.

She has arrived!

Good news everyone. Our daughter Olivia Beth was born on April 11, 2006 @ 11:52AM. She weighed 8 lbs 11 ozs (ouch) and was 21 inches long. Hannah and I are so happy and can't wait to post tons of pics. I ran home today to update everyone. I'm sorry it wasn't sooner but I did the best I could. I couldn't bear to leave my beautiful ladies. Well I'm headed back to the hospital to stay with my family. If all goes well, we will all be home tomorrow evening. For all of those curious here's a quick cell phone pic.

~James

This is it!

I made the title sound like something so positive. The truth is, I am in more pain than I ever have been in my whole life. Contractions started hours ago, got regular and stopped. Then, I was awakened by HORRIBLE, EVIL, HUGE contractions close together. Right when I said, "how long do I have to wait?" my water broke. We're off to have a baby!

Real Progress

I just got back from my OBGYN appt this morning. I have made progress! I am 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced. The doctor said that he's surprised I haven't gone into labor by now. He said this is why he doesn't venture any guesses because he can be wrong and patients end up disappointed. It didn't hurt too bad when he stripped my membranes (well, it did, but it wasn't as awful as I thought it would be). I've had a lot of cramping since then and bleeding too, but this is normal. I've also had one good contraction in the last few minutes.

I made a decision today that I didn't think I was going to make. I scheduled an induction for Thursday. I did it for a few reasons:

1) The doctor said because I'm so close, it wouldn't take much to put me into good labor.
2) She is big (maybe as much as 8.5 pounds already!)
3) I have pitting edema in my feet (when you poke at them, the indentation stays)
4) My blood pressure has gone up a bit
5) I am seriously thinking I'll go into labor on my own before then (fingers crossed)

I'll post any updates!!!

good and bad

Good Things Today:

~ sleeping until noon (you read that right!)
~ leftover Eggplant Parmesan from last night
~ baking chocolate chip cookies
~ snuggling with my dogs (even when the poodle is snoring loudly and interrupting my show)
~ great weather
~ not having to go back to work tomorrow

Bad Things Today:

~ not going to church
~ swollen feet
~ constant peeing

at least the good outweighs the bad, right?!?

Today I am laying low and doing some things around the house. Tonight we are going to my parents' for dinner and then tomorrow morning, I am getting my membranes stripped! (is it odd that I am so excited about this?)

Discomfort-- could this mean something?

I've had some odd pains today, but not exactly what I'd think of as contractions. It's sort of been sharp pains here and there and just general discomfort. After drinking some raspberry leaf tea, it got more intense, but then stopped. Tonight James took me out for eggplant parmesan (it worked for GFF who I think had her baby today!!!) and I am going to drink more tea. I'm hoping. Today, my mom took me shopping for some new clothes (things I can wear when I'm getting my shape back and after). She tried hard to cheer me up because she knows I'm super frustrated right now.

Tonight James and I are going to watch a movie, eat desert we brought home from the restaurant, and pray for labor to begin. If nothing has happened before Monday, the doctor wants to strip my membranes. Maybe that'll do the trick?

So Ready

For the last couple of days, I have been having strange little pains that come and go, but there is really no definite end or beginning. They might be Braxton Hicks. Last night, I had some bad pains, but I think some of it was gas. How sad is it that I can't even tell? And then there are my ever-faithful friends, the bladder spasms, that come all the damn time. I am so uncomfortable I feel like cying (not from the pains, but from my feet, which now hurt to walk on). My legs ached all evening and night to the point where I was whining constantly. But, by God, I still tried to get that labor to start:

~ spicy food (which probably gave me the gas)
~ bedroom activites (which ends up being funnier than anything else because I am so big
~ raspberry leaf tea (even I am getting sick of tea)
~ a foot massage yesterday
~ praying/begging-- God has a time in mind I'm sure
~ walking (which is what made my feet look the way they do. I think I could walk on water with this inflated raft feet)
~ cooking (they say that a last burst of energy can indicate you are close to labor. I thought I'd try to convince myself that I am) Maybe I'll even go vacuum right now.

My mom thinks I'm close. I told her that just because I have gas and my friend and confidant in this whole thing went into labor doesn't mean I will. I feel like crying. I am too uncomfortable to enjoy much of anything. All I can do it sit and wait (and whine on my blog).

Still Here

There is one good thing about feeling this uncomfortable: I have an excuse to go pamper myself. Today I went and had a spa pedicure and it was heavenly (and not too expensive!) The nail tech massaged cooling gel on my swollen feet and ankles and used warm towels to bring down the swelling. It helped for a while, until I went grocery shopping and made them fat again. Last night, my feet were more swollen than they've ever been. In fact, I now have pitting edema, which means that when you poke a finger at my feet, the indentation stays for a while. My sister, who is in nursing school, checked them out and said that it's not dangerous. My blood pressure is still really good, so I'm not worried, just uncomfortable. I am now home, resting, before I have to get back up to cook dinner. Well, I don't have to, but I want to. Maybe this sudden spurt of energy means I am close to labor? Probably not. I am making a Mexican casserole tonight since James won't be working late (he has worked late every night for the last 2 weeks). He's in grad school and also is managing a project at work, so he's been trying to get ahead so he can take off 10 days when baby girl arrives. At this rate, it'll be summer by then and he can just use vacation hours!

I picked up a natural labor inducer at GNC the other day. At first, I couldn't wait to take it, but now I am having second thoughts. It's called black cohosh and it's been used for centuries as a natural way to induce labor. Many midwives use it, but I still am a little hesitant to take something without asking my doctor (who won't be back in the office until Monday.) I really thought that just because he went out of town, I'd be more likely to go into labor. I thought the same thing with going out of town myself yesterday, but no such luck.

Tonight, hubby and I will be enjoying a homecooked meal (we have had so much carry-out lately) and watching a quiet movie at home. We will also be trying a few other labor-inducing activities (wink, wink) and enjoying the thunderstorms predicted for tonight. Maybe bad storms will tempt fate enough to put me in labor because it will make getting to the hospital more stressful. Man, I'm really looking for ANY reason to get this thing started!

Anyone know anything about black cohosh?

Good to be home

In a while, my mom is picking me up so we can go to Peachtree City for shopping and lunch. In the meantime, I am enjoying a quiet morning home with my furry children.

Shower #3

Today, we had our third and final shower from James's co-workers. It was supposed to be Monday, but someone at work passed away, so they were at the funeral and had to reschedule. We got some lovely gifts, surprisingly, all stuff we needed. We have gotten so much already, I was worried that we'd get some doubles, but we got some new stuff: Baby Einstein DVD's, a rattle, disposable diaper bags, candles/lotion for me, a mirror that attaches to the side of the crib, a dress for when she's a bit older, and more. One of the neatest things was this "bouquet" made from lacey socks. As much as I want to use them, I'll keep it the way it is for now. It's a cute decoration! I wish I was more creative.

Tomorrow, my mom is planning to take me to Peachtree City, a suburb of Atlanta for Thai food (maybe the spices will activate some contractions) and shopping. If I am fortunate enough to go into labor in the 5 hours we are gone, we can be home in 90 minutes tops. Maybe going out of town will tempt fate enough to put me in labor? :-)

38.5 week appointment

Once again, my OBGYN appointment was fairly uneventful. No change since last time. How is this possible? It's been at least 2.5 weeks and nothing! My doctor is out of town today, so the nurse practicioner checked me. She said that when my doctor returns on Monday, he is going to strip my membranes on Monday. She said that if labor is close, it'll help me out. I'll be 39.5 weeks at the time, so I sure hope so. I'm really hoping not to even need my membranes swept because things will have happened on their own. The bladder spasms I have been feeling are like horrible menstrual cramps all the time. The nurse said that I have a retro-inverted cervix, which is making the pressure from baby girl much worse. I almost can't stand it anymore. They still want to induce me next week, but I can't get over the fact that it's unnatural. If my body was ready, it'd do it on its own. Hopefully I won't need to make the decision.

In case you are interested, here are a bunch of nursery pictures. I have also added them to my sidebar.

New Obsession

I really haven't had any odd cravings since getting pregnant, but I have really become a sucker for fruit. Today I had the most incredible drink. I think I could've had like 4 of them. I am going back tomorrow for another one! At Panera, they have a new Mango drink that tastes almost like sorbet. It is amazing and so pretty with the raspberry swirls inside. So refreshing!

Other fruit cravings I've had:

ice water with tons of lemon slices
pineapple slices
grapes
homemade smoothies
apples that have been chilled in the fridge
raspberries

I wonder if I'll still love fruit this much when I've had the baby? I hope so. It's such a healthy snack! I am disappointed though that I don't have anything wild and crazy cravings to laugh about. And I'm sorry that I don't have anthing more interesting to report than my fruit cravings, but satisfying my cravings is definitely something I think about a lot. :-)

Even bigger feet and pee-pee

I am dead tired, but I knew if I didn't post today, that some people would assume baby girl was on her way (as if I were that lucky). I laid low today after church and lunch at grandma's because my feet were more swollen than ever before. I really should've taken a picture. They were shocking--still are pretty big! After keeping them up for a few hours and drinking lots of fluids, I spent 30 minutes trying on shoes (even Birkenstocks were too tight!) and finally settled on some old sneakers, which I was barely able to tie. My mom and I went for a mile-long power walk in the hopes of coaxing baby girl out of my belly. Not sure if it will work. I did, however, get her moving and she has settled on some nerve that is giving me strange sensations in my butt and leg. Hmmmm..... Then mom and I went to Sonic and the grocery store, where the check-out woman asked if I was having a girl. I smiled and said "yes." She came out from behind the counter to get a better look at me and remarked at how low I was carrying. "You really have dropped!" is what she said.

I am re-thinking this whole "I don't want an induction" thing because there is so much pressure on my bladder. It hurts! I am seriously peeing 8 times a night, leaving me with no sleep. My short segments of sleep after baby girl comes will probably be more restful than what I get now! I am miserable. I am almost scared to drink anything and I am so thirsty. I have almost peed my pants several times in the last few days. It just comes out! Puleeeese pray for me to have her soon. It's not just an impatient thing. I am seriously uncomfortable. I can't wear shoes and I am considering buying some Depends. *sigh*

Any recommendations (even old wives tales are fine) on how I can get this labor thing started?

Borrowed Time

Thank you for your kind words yesterday. I had a pretty good day, but an emotional one. There were many times when I thought "this is the last time I will teach this class" or "this is the last time I will eat lunch with these people" but I was strong mostly. I started to cry as I drove away, but I didn't have any tissues with me and I made myself stop. I'm sure I'm destined to still have a good cry. All these changes have been getting to me and I've been kind of emotional lately anyway.

I can't believe that baby girl could come any day now. However, I realize it's possible that she'll take her sweet time. In some way, I want to stay pregnant for a while longer because it's safe, but I am also ready to meet her and I want my stretch marks to stop spreading and my feet to fit in my shoes! I will miss my pregnant body though. I feel so womanly and special. (How corny is that?) James seems so proud to be with me. Everyone makes comments about my tummy and asks us questions. I know he loves it too!

My mom gave me a letter about this next phase of my life, just as my grandmother gave to her before she had me. It meant so much to me. My mom keeps telling me that I won't be able to comprehend how much she loves me until I feel that amount of love for my daughter. I am so ready to feel that. Here's to the next phase!