Teatopia

I finally caught a smile!

Olivia has been smiling for weeks, but I just haven't been able to catch any good, obvious ones with my camera until now! I've also included some other cute ones. I just adore my little girl!

I love this one of her smiling!

Look at that tongue!

Another cute smile!

Smiling at her toys:

She scooted down in her sleep, which made her nightgown bunch around her head. Too cute! :-)

I am . . .

a completely neurotic, paranoid mother who needs some help. After not really thinking about SIDS much at all, I am all of a sudden totally paranoid about Olivia dying. I know this is normal (or is it???), but I am driving myself somewhat insane. I keep checking her breathing. I think it might be because she is *finally* sleeping for longer stretches and I get worried when she doesn't wake up. Thank God it's usually her cries that wake me up because if I always woke up first, I'd probably have a panic attack every night.

Just this morning, I went over to her and she looked different. I don't know why~ in my paranoia I probably imagined it or something, but she just did. I shook her gently, nothing. I listened for breathing, nothing. I picked her up and shook her again, gently though of course, nothing. What the? I just knew she was dead. She had died from SIDS. I started to cry. Then, she stirred, looking angry that I had disturbed her. Of course she was breathing. duh! Luckily, she's not old enough yet to know how paranoid and ridiculous her mommy is. Now I feel foolish. Please tell you have had moments of paranoia as bad as mine-- and if you haven't, could you please make something up so I don't feel like such an ass? Pretty please?

Happy Memorial Day

Hope you all are enjoying your 3 day weekend! We sure are! My aunt and uncle are visiting from Colorado and we've been enjoying spending time with them.

Saturday, my grandma took the girls for tea about an hour away! My mom, sister, grandma, aunt, daughter (wow! that's sounds weird!), and I had a lovely time, even though Olivia fussed. The owner of the shop said she'd be happy to hold her so I could enjoy my tea, but I was afraid she'd spit up on her, and I told her so.

Yesterday, James and I went shopping at Target and just couldn't leave without spending $125 on baby girl. We bought her some new pionk pacifiers that say "I Love Mommy" (as if she needed any more of them), a drying rack/organizer for bottles and my breast pump, a Diaper Genie (we weren't going to use one, but changed our minds), some toys, etc.

Today is my sister's birthday, so we're going to a Hibachi restaurant tonight. Yum! I'd tell you to go by her blog and leave her b-day wishes, but she never posts anymore. Bah!

I'm thinking I may write a book titled something along the lines of: The Mommy Diaries: Adventures in Poop. Just a helpful hint, do NOT, under any circumstances, change your baby in a Target dressing room (or any dressing room). I went in one to nurse her, which was simple, until I had the brilliant idea of changing her in there. There was only pee in there-- at least until I took off her diaper and she decided to squirt poop 2 feet away into my purse, on the side of her diaper bag (it's so dirty, I already need a new one), and all over the dressing room. The best part was that she was pushing and tooting so loudly I was scared to come out. Only people with children would believe that a small, baby girl could let one that big!

I'll leave you with some new pictures of our precious Olivia, nicknamed the Tudor Princess (really meaning tooter) by my grandma. :-)

Cell Phone, Schmell Phone

Never again can my husband yell at me for using my cell phone while driving. Now, I generally use an ear piece if I'm going to talk in the car, but there are the rare occasions when it's not hooked up and I'll grab the phone to answer it. Anyway, a girl in my nursing mom's group yesterday told us that she pumps milk with a dual electric breast pump while driving. "It's easy," she said, "just plug it ino the cigarette lighter!" Well gosh, since that was my only worry, I'll get right on it!

You Smile, I Cry

Will there ever be a time I won't tear up when my child smiles at me? I don't usually stay away from my blog for so long, but I've been enjoying being a mommy. :-) Today, 4 generations went to Peachtree City to shop for Olivia and have lunch. It was a nice day, in spite of the 3 outfits Olivia had on! We encountered explosive poo-poo and lots of spit up, and I am becoming a pro at handling these things while on the road! I also carried her in my new sling today, and she loved it!

In other news, I am thrilled that Taylor Hicks won American Idol! He's been my pick from day 1 and I am so excited for him! I love his husky voice. Katharine is great too-- probably more talented-- but she tried to be all sexy and I just didn't feel as drawn to her. Apparently, neither did a lot of America. Yay for Taylor!!!

Public nursing: a no-no or a necessity?

I sort of kind of touched on this topic before, but I'd like to re-visit it and maybe get some feedback. I am having trouble going places these days because Olivia is a little piggy and likes to nurse to much! :-) It's hard leaving malls and other places to go all the way out to my hot car and squish in the back next to the car seat to nurse her.

However, I was always one of those people who felt weird seeing someone nurse in public. I didn't judge them necessarily, but I always thought to myself "I could never do that." It's not that it's wrong, it's just one of those akward things for me. Now that I have a baby though, I realize that if you want to have any sort of life, nursing in public is really convenient.

With that said, I am considering trying it out to see how I feel. Now, I'll never be one of those moms nursing in a restaurant or any other obvious place because I am shy. But, I could nurse somewhere on a bench or something, or on the beach maybe, or another public place where people aren't right there. The attitude in my mom's group seems to be more laid back and I am wondering if maybe I am too uptight. It's hard to leave a public place and walk all the way to my car with a screaming infant.

At the suggestion of one of the moms in my group, I am making a neat cover up to use while nursing. My husband was like, "but you don't need it. You don't nurse anywhere where there are people." Yes, but I might have to get over that since I plan to nurse for a year. Ok, so if I decide to nurse in certain public places, here is my dilemna:

-- I have very large breasts and unlike some mothers, my baby's head does not in any way hide them. In fact, when she is a year old my boobs will still be bigger! How do I get her to latch on to my huge boobs? If I am covered, I can't see anything and we aren't so good with a latch that she can do it without me seeing.

-- Even if I cover the baby nursing, won't someone see that my shirt is hiked up, displaying my ugly, claw mark stretch marks for all to see? Am I wearing the wrong type of shirt? Do I need to go buy like 10 button up shirts?

-- If I decide to nurse in public, what is considered appropriate? Where is it ok and where is it not ok?

I still tend to lean towards not doing it all. I honestly never thought I'd even consider it, but I'm starting to feel that it might be more convenient and maybe if I'm really careful, I might find that it's not so bad. If I decide to try it, it's going to take some skill. I am amazed by the way that some moms can get the baby latched, fed, and burped and no one is the wiser.

Any opinions/adivce would be much appreciated. Moms, how do you feel about this? How do you nurse in public or is this something you just wouldn't do? Those of you without kids, how do you feel about seeing a mother do this?

I know I already got some comments on this, but I am now approaching it from a different point of view . . .

80 bucks later . . .

Being a SAHM now means that we have to be more careful with money. However, I just ordered two very important things for Olivia that I couldn't pass up!

At the mom's group yesterday, we talked about "wearing" our babies, or carrying them around attached to us. I bought a baby Bjorn thingy, but she can't see anything when her head is buried in my boobs (and having her head there makes me pour milk!). One of the mothers there-- who I just love!-- suggested a sling. There are many advantages to using one and I get tired of lugging a heavy carrier, although I'm building up some nice muscles, and pushing a stroller everywhere. I ordered this one:

I also purchased a Bumbo Baby Seat. I have heard these things ae awesome, and my grandma informed me that my cousin uses one for his son

"The Bumbo Baby Seat is a snug and cozy environment for your baby. This revolutionary infant chair is uniquely designed according to the baby’s posture. The Bumbo enables babies to sit upright all by themselves! Bumbo Baby Seats are suitable for babies from as young as six weeks (or as soon as they can support their own heads unaided) to an age of approximately fourteen months."

Each purchase was about $40 and, I believe, well worth it!

What baby products could you not live without?

Reflux Update

After speaking to the doctor and attending my breastfeeding mom's group today (there is always at least one lactation consultant there), I learned a lot and feel much better.

First of all, the doctor again considered medication, but after hearing me describe the symptoms, decided we're not there yet. Whew! I don't like the idea of medication. He recommended I give her a teaspoon of rice cereal at night mixed with some of my milk. It's heavier and will help the food stay in her gut. If the milk isn't coming back up, she'll have less acid and pain and will hopefully sleep better.

The lactation consultant recommended some things to help her spit up less:

-- completely empty the breast from which she is feeding before switching sides (I usually do this, but I might not be completely emptying it) because the fatty hindmilk is heavier and will stay in her gut.

-- make sure she has a good latch (sometimes if it isn't hurting, I don't worry about it) because she won't take in as much air.

-- prop her up after each feeding, even if she doesn't seem uncomfortable. I have been laying her down when she falls asleep. Instead, I should put her in her swing or carrier.

-- "Wear" her more often. In other words, put her in a sling to keep her more upright and to help her feel secure.

* when I mentioned colic was acid reflux, what I meant was, what used to be called colic, is often, in fact, acid reflux and people just didn't know. They used to say the baby was colicy when they might have had reflux. I think this infant acid reflux is fairly new.

Acid Reflux

It seems my poor daughter has followed in her mother's footsteps. I had horrible acid reflux throughout my pregnancy, and now Olivia has it too. I hear that it is fairly common for babies to develop this during the first few months, but she is miserable at times. The doctor said that if she isn't losing weight, then she doesn't need medicine, but we are losing some major sleep. She sputters and gags when she's on her back and every time she spits up (more like throws up), she cries because it burns. It only happens at night, and not every night, but I hate that she is hurting. The doctor says that it's not bad enough for Prevecid, and I agree. The spit up isn't bile colored, which is another sign she'd need it. Babies have always had this (often referred to as colic), and I don't think strong medication is the answer for such a young baby.

I am looking for things in my diet that might be responsible, but I think because this is so common, we just have to deal with it. Can anyone offer any advice? My SIL recommended peppermint infused into a bit of water, but I always heard peppermint makes it worse. Any advice is appreciated. I can't stand for my baby to be uncomfortable.

It's Official

Today I went by my school to show off the baby and-- it feels weird to even type it-- drop off my letter of resignation. Yep, it's official. My official job title is now Stay At Home Mom. It feels surreal. And it feels a little like I gave up some of my identity today, and for that, I feel a bit guilty. I love that I can stay home with my daughter and I know how blessed I am for it, but it was hard to drop off that letter and see my kids and know that I won't be back. Is it normal that I am feeling this way?

I think I need to try to make more time for myself. That's maybe part of the reason I am feeling this way. I LOVE LOVE LOVE taking care of Olivia, but I miss cooking, reading, and having more adult interaction. My mom is a teacher and after next week when she's off, she wants to watch the baby more so I can have time to do things like grocery shop, run errands, and maybe read. I really miss reading.

I've had a few people tell me how they'd love to be able to stay home all day, that they'd happily watch my baby and not have to work. This is coming from people without kids-- friends who don't understand how hard it is to take care of a baby 24/7. It makes me upset because I feel like they are implying that I have an easy day, that I do nothing but watch TV or something. This little winkie is more work than teaching ever was (hard to believe). And I think that because I have given up my career, I need to occasionally make sure I am still able to do some of the other things I used to do. Those of you with kids are probably nodding in agreement. You know how much work they can be!

I think quitting my job today brought out some emotions in me and I think I might be feeling a bit hormonal as well.

My First Mother's Day

I have always thought of this as my mom's day, so it was weird this year to receive a present from my mom to celebrate my first Mother's Day. So far, my day has been wonderful! We had brunch with my family this morning (oddly enough, the restaurant is at the same hotel where our wedding reception was held). I need to take a picture of the gift we gave my mom because I want to make one for myself. I bought a dark wood picture frame with many spaces and filled it with pictures of Olivia. Then, I made a birth announcement in one of the spaces with calligraphy.

James got me 2 sweet cards (one from him, one from Olivia), a box of my favorite chocolates, and a hard back book I've been wanting.

The highlight of my afternoon has been this:
(notice my other babies?)

Beach Baby

Sometime in July, we are going to Destin, Florida with my family. We're going to rent a beach house and have a week of fun, but also relaxation!

Since this will be Olivia's first beach trip, I couldn't resist buying this darling bathing suit for her to wear! Her pediatrician insisted I buy her a bikini after her belly button healed so well (remember the difficulties after the cord fell off?). However, as cute as the baby bikinis are, they just seem a bit sexy for a baby girl. This is more my taste:

1 Month

My Precious Daughter,

Where has time gone? Today you are one month old. It seems like just yesterday I pushed you into this world. Now, a whole month has passed, as if it snuck up on me. The last month of my life has been the most incredible, humbling, emotional month of my life. I have learned so many things-- about life and about myself. I never realized life could be so rich. I was extremely happy with your daddy before, but now there is an entire new depth to our love because we have you. Now, we are a family of three!

Since I wrote you last on your 1 week birthday, so much has changed. You now are on a sleeping schedule! We'd like you to go to bed a bit earlier than 1:00 am, but at least you sleep. You still like to nurse every 2-3 hours, but I know soon you'll have longer stretches. You are also awake more during the day, which is wonderful. You are much more alert and I feel like I can actually interact with you. You watch me and listen to me when I talk to you. A few days ago, you started talking back. I say something, and you look at me and make noises. Then, you wait for me to respond and then you talk back. It's awesome and it usually makes me cry. I wonder what you are trying to say?

One of the most beautiful things you do is smile. I wasn't sure they were real until a few days ago, but now there's no doubt. You have the most gorgeous smile ever. You still smile in your sleep, and at other times you are unaware of, but you definitely smile on purpose when I talk in a sweet, high-pitched voice.

You also have discovered what fun it is to take a bath! You lay on your baby hammock in your tub and kick your legs in the water. No matter how fussy you are, the warm water always makes you happy. You lay there while I pour warm water on your tummy. Sometimes it makes you pee and I have to pour out the water and start again! I love watching you in the tub. It seems to calm you-- I'm sure it feels like it did inside me, warm and wet.

I'm sure the coming month will bring about even more changes, as you are growing every day. I know many mothers say they don't notice because they see their baby every day, but I can tell. You are looking older each day. At first, this made me sad. During the first week, I used to cry thinking about you getting older, but now, I like that you are changing each day because it means you can interact with me more and more.

In just 3 days, it will be Mother's Day. I want you to know how proud I am to be your mommy. You are precious and I am so blessed to have you as my daughter.

All my love,
Mommy

I added another album of Olivia pictures (weeks 2, 3, & 4) on my side bar!

Help!

We have had terrible storms here and channel 7 is out! Who got kicked off of American Idol? I am dying to know and can't find it on the web.

Cutie Pie

Hello

I have been meaning to say hello to those of you who "de-lurked" and wished us congratulations. I have been seeing some new commenters lately and I wanted to say thank you for reading!

I have thought about doing some "de-lurking" thing on my blog, but I don't want to feel unpopular when like 2 people come out to say hello, so I'll leave it up to you. If you haven't commented before, or if you have only commented a few times and I haven't had the chance to come by your blog yet because all I do is nurse my baby and change her diapers, say hello and leave me your blog url if you'd like. If you prefer to stay anon, that's fine too. That way, I can attribute the lack of comments to the fact that you prefer to stay in hiding. LOL! :-)

Date Night

Last night, James and I went out without the baby. We left her with my parents, who were more than happy to have baby girl all to themselves for a few hours. Although the prospect of a real date sounded wonderful, I have been kinda dreading leaving my baby. I've never been away from her really. I pumped a big bottle of milk (she's been so hungry lately!) and dropped her off with my parents. It was hard to say goodbye and James finally had to drag me out to the car.

First, we went out for Thai food where we talked about Olivia most of the time: how we want to parent her, what she'll be like when she's older, what relatives we think will be bad influences on her (we came up with several), and about her education. We also talked about how cute she is and how much we love her.

Next, we went to my favorite store, Target, to buy toiletries, but ended up shopping for baby girl. We bought her "Bambi" and "Lady and the Tramp" on DVD since they only come out every 9 years or something. We also bought her some clothes, wipes, and other supplies.

It's funny that most of our evening revolved around out daughter, even though she wasn't there. The one thing we did for us was stop by Starbucks for Iced Chai Lattes. I felt like an obsessive mommy thinking about her all the time. I trust my mom as much as I trust myself, but yet I missed her. The only thing that went wrong was that they had problems feeding her, and it wasn't their fault. I purchased some newborn bottles for when I have to leave her with someone, but nothing was coming out of the nipple. Finally, my dad had to poke a small hole in it with a sterilized needle and then Olivia was happy. When my parents called though to ask about it, I could hear my baby screaming and I freaked out. I feel so guilty for leaving a defective bottle. I tested the other nipples in the set, and only half of them seem to work. The others come out too slowly or not at all, so she cries. Is it bad to poke small holes in them?

Maybe in a couple weeks, we'll go out alone again. I know I'll get more used to leaving her. Next time, I'll make sure the bottle is ok though!

Random List Update (but mostly about boobs)

-- This morning we went to a breastfeeding mother's group. I was expecting to find a bunch of women, sitting around exposing themselves, talking about nothing but boobs and their babies' bowel movements (color, frequency, etc), but boy was I wrong! What I found was a nice group of ladies (a few my age) who understood the healthy balance of being an attentive mommy while still maintaining and enjoying adult conversation-- something I have missed lately! A few of the girls were my age with babies not much older than mine. I really enjoyed it. Only one mom breastfed (which obviously is fine considering the nature of the group, I'm just a bit shy). I was worried I'd have to, but Olivia slept through her feeding. Instead, I fed her in my car. I'm sure if I stick with the group, I'll get more comfortable.

-- That topic leads to this one: who are you comfortable nursing in front of? A few months back, I saw a woman whip it out in the middle of Barnes and Noble. My mom and I were enjoying afternoon coffee and suddenly there was a boob staring at me. I know I could've just not looked, but there's something about a boob being out in public that makes you look, even when you really don't want to.

-- The other night I was about to feed Olivia, but she wasn't the only one who wanted a snack. I was sitting on my parents' couch, getting the burp cloth ready, and suddenly, Cooey, the miniature dachshund, decided she wanted a taste first. Yuck!

-- Olivia is starting to maybe, kind of, think about getting on a schedule (I have just jinxed the whole thing and ruined my chances of ever sleeping again).

-- I am getting the hang of this whole SAHM thing. I can honestly say though, that at the end of the day, I am more tired than I ever was teaching 150 kids. How can one, tiny girl be more work??? I still can't figure it out!

-- My nursing bras keep breaking. How does a bra break you might ask? Well, the underwire keeps popping out! Perhaps I am stuffing too much boob in them? I am already wearing the max cup size, which seems odd to me considering I was only a D before. What do DD people do? They seem to fit me just fine. I have already thrown away 3! I am washing them on delicate and hanging them to dry. Oddly enough, there is only one store here that sells them and I am not impressed with the quality. Anyone have any brands they'd recommend? I think I'll order one on the 'net, make sure it fits, and then order a bunch more. I've thought about wearing my old bras, but I like the convenience of the nursing ones.

I know that was a lot of boob talk, but I tried to sandwich in the boob stuff with other topics. :-) However, I think I might need to create another category for my blog called "boobs".

Doctor's Appt Update

Yesterday's appointment with the pediatrician went well. Olivia is up to 9 lbs, 4 ozs. Pretty good, I'd say! I also asked him about a few other things I have been wondering about:

-- baby acne: my beautiful daughter has gotten baby acne. I figured there was nothing I could do about it, but asked anyway. Apparently, it's pretty common and should be gone soon.

-- acid reflux: she has been spitting up alot, which she never did the first week and a half, but he was pleased with her weight gain and said that if she isn't fussy before spitting up (she isn't), it would stop on its own.

Well, Olivia is crying. Gotta run!

Weekend

Man, I have become a blog slacker! The truth is, we were super busy. See?

-- Friday, we took on another huge financial obligation each month. See, because we weren't having enough money issues (I just quit my job), our AC decided to break, and so we had to take out a loan to get a new system. We also decided to get an air purification system and have our ducts cleaned. We figured, we might as well get the works. What a way to spend 6K! I was gone most of the day with the baby because there was a crew here making a big mess.

-- Saturday, my aunt arrived from Maryland to see the baby. :-) We had a great weekend. That night, we ate at Carraba's where the baby decided to scream. James took her outside and gave her a bottle (thank goodness I thought to pump!) I also went shopping with my mom, but decided not to buy any clothes since I am not back to my fabulous former self (probably never will be!)

-- Sunday, more family stuff. Gave Olivia her first bath in her tub. I never did update, but the pediatrician cauterized her belly button (only the dead stuff, so it didn't hurt) and I had to wait until it healed. We were giving her sponge baths until yesterday.

Today, the AC people are back to clean our ducts. So, I get to spend a glorious day at home with 2 whining dogs stuck in the kitchen and a fussy baby who wants to be fed and I can barely find a private place to go. Later, we have a dr's appointment to see how much baby girl has grown. By the looks of her, she is well past her birth weight!

Here are some pictures from the weekend: