Teatopia

Help me get started

I really need to start exercising regularly for so many reasons.

* I have so much excess skin from my two pregnancies and I would like to have a tummy tuck at some point. I need to be at an optimal weight to do that.

* I have tons of great clothes (nice things from back when I actually spent some money on myself) just waiting for me to lose weight.

* I am at a higher risk for diabetes after having gestational diabetes.

* And the biggest reason apart from my health is that I will FEEL better about myself. I have some real self-image issues. I hardly post pictures of myself anymore because I look at them and think I look fat. Well, I do. I need to drop a good 35 pounds. I want to feel sexy again. I haven't put on lingerie since I had kids and I used to like doing that for James. But now I'm flabby. Yuck.

Where do I start? It's overwhelming. I don't sleep well because of Liam and I don't think I'll ever be able to wake up before the kids to exercise because I'm so tired. Should I use videos? Get a treadmill? Take walks? We don't have much money for me to join a gym since we're on one income and I don't think Liam would stay in a nursery there. James works so much and I'm seldom without the kids, so how can I find a way to exercise with the kids around and without losing even more sleep? Something's gotta give, I guess.

Here is me last month. I'm going to suck it up and post a picture. It's the only full body shot I have. I wouldn't say I'm FAT. You may have a different opinion, but keep it to yourself or you'll break my heart. :-)

Loreena McKennitt

Sickness has swept our house and I am left with little patience. Liam is into everything times ten, to make matters worse.

I wanted to share the music of one of my favorite artists, if not my absolute favorite, Loreena McKennitt. Her voice is otherworldly and her music is a glorious mixture of celtic, folk, and classical. She even has some with Middle Eastern influence. Her voice is so rich.

Life would sometimes be unbearable without beautiful music!

One of her songs was used on the trailer for the movie "Possession" based on the novel by A.S. Byatt. It's an incredibly se_xy film (and even better book) starring gorgeous Jeremy Northam. Her music was also used in the celtic movie "The Mysts of Avalon" and most recently, in the 2008 Tinkerbell movie.

And one of her instrumental songs:

Her music also represents a strange connection I have with my biological father. Basically, I've had no contact with him in years and really don't consider him my father at all. I was raised by my mom and step-father, although I cringe at that term since he's my real father to me and is listed on my birth certificate as such. You can read the entry I posted about him a few years ago. Anyway, the last time I saw my biological father, he was playing Loreena McKennit in his car, and I've never met anyone else who knew who she was, much else adored her as much as I do. It was a weird connection and I sometimes remember it when I listen to her.

Potty training advice?

Hoping some of you can offer some good advice about potty training for both my kiddos.

Olivia has been trained since she was 2. Her b-day is in April, and after two hernia surgeries, she was totally trained that December, making her two and a half. She immediately was dry at night, too. She remained dry at night for about 10 months, and ever since then, she has wet her cloth diaper or pull-up (we use both) almost every night. After talking to her doctor and really thinking about why she regressed, I figured out that she started wetting again at night around the night she nixed the nap taking. Literally, to the week. She sleeps pretty heavily and I'm thinking it's because she really needs that nap still but doesn't get much of one because of her brother. If she happens to fall asleep on occasion, I do my best to keep him away from her and keep him quiet. What she really needs is an enforced quiet time and I have trouble with that since Liam keeps me so busy. She's not ready for a nap when he takes him, which would be the best time to get her to take one. Anyway, naps aside, any pointers for helping her stay dry again at night? Has anyone else experienced a night time relapse but not one during the day?

Now for the questions about the little man. He tells me every time he poops and is starting to tell me "I tinkle", but of course, it's always after the fact. Should I try to train him or is he too young at 19 months old? I know nothing about potty training boys, but have read and heard that they take longer than girls. Have you found that to be true?

Thanks!

On the spot

I hate being put on the spot, and I'm not very good at saying no. It comes with wanting to please people too much, and I hate that about myself.

Several months ago, our church's nomination committee (they find people to do different jobs/roles) asked me if I would be in charge of nursery scheduling and the occasional children's event. I told them I'd think about it and asked for details of how much I'd be doing. With James working so much, I'm often left with both kids alone and Liam will NOT stay in the nursery and hasn't wanted to since he was about 9 months old, so I don't like committing to too many things knowing I'll be watching Liam at the same time. They told me I'd only have to be responsible for the Easter egg hunt and the scheduling, so I said yes, that I'd love to help.

I talked to the woman I was replacing and she outlined what she'd been doing so I'd know. A few weeks ago, I started making up a schedule and finding volunteers to work in the nursery during Sunday school and the 2 services.

Then this past Wednesday, the lady who's been doing Vacation Bible School came up to me and asked, "Has anyone told you that you're also in charge of doing VBS?" I know I looked shocked and said, "no, they didn't." She told me when the first meeting was and that was that.

Then I got to thinking about it. VBS is a HUGE job, one that I am not really able to do. Liam isn't even old enough to go. Me in charge of EVERYTHING? I asked the woman on the nominating committee who nominated me if this was part of my job and she said she'd never heard of that being the nursery coordinator's job. Also, her daughter is the one I took over for and she never had to do VBS.

Now I'm going to look bad telling them that I don't want to do it, but I don't. And the reality is that if anyone had told me I'd have to do it, I wouldn't have accepted the job. I'm actually thinking that maybe the lady who usually does VBS doesn't want to and is trying to pin it on me.

I e-mailed her a little while ago and told her that I hoped she wasn't mad, but that I accepted this position months ago and no one ever mentioned VBS to me, and I knew that the woman in my position before never had that repsonsibility. I told her I'd be happy to help with it, as I did last year, but that until I had 2 kids who could participate and were a bit older, I just wasn't able to do it.

I hope I did the right thing. Still, it's akward.

Please padron my hormones

Ok, so that last post was clearly written while in an emotional state. Although I am extremely happy for my friend, who I've now reconnected with, I see it now for what it was. PMS. I should've realized it yesterday, but now I'm sure it's PMS because I have a lovely new, shiny pimple on my left cheek! Bring on the concealer.

I am also drifting somewhere between being conscious and unconscious today because I was up almost all night with the little man. James and I both were. He has allergies pretty badly right now and he coughed and sneezed all night. We finally brought him to bed with us-- something we've never done since he was a newborn. He does not co-sleep well. He lovingly said "mama mama" all night long and alternated between climbing on my head and pulling up my shirt to have some boop. Many toddlers have a nursing peak around a year and half, and we are definitely there.

Luckily, Olivia was staying at my parents' house-- something she does every couple months-- and wasn't disturbed by him. I both dread and look forward to it. I'm always relieved that someone else will get to fight with her about bedtime, which means after Liam goes to bed, we are free! Except for last night, when all hell broke loose and it took 4 hours to watch a 2 hour movie because every 10 minutes he woke up. The other part of me, the biggest part, dreads her spending the night with them because although they only live 10 mins away, I always miss her so much, and considering I had nutso hormones yesterday, I really really missed her.

Well, I'm off to try out a bogus IHOP pancake recipe for dinner to go with some bacon and eggs. Don't you just love breakfast for dinner? Then after kids go to bed, we'll watch last night's Big Love on DVR!

Best Buddy

I'm seriously in tears right now, out of happiness!

My day is made, no, maybe my week!

When I was in high school, I was very involved in working with students with special needs. We had a program at our school for these students. These were kids with profound problems and I volunteered one period a day with them and also volunteered for the "Best Buddies" program where I worked further with them. I was matched with a girl named Cori, and I took it very seriously. During high school, many kids were mean to the students in this program, but I loved them because they taught me so much. I really wanted to be a special ed teacher when I was in high school. I became a teacher, but didn't end up taking the special ed route.

Anyway, I encouraged my "too cool" friends to be kind to them and even invited some of them along to football games and mall trips on occasion, and my friends were pretty cool about it. I won the award for outstanding service at the end of senior year because of it. Anyway, my "best buddy" partner, Cori, had some learning problems, but was also disfigured and crippled. We lost touch after high school. I tried to find her on Facebook once, but never could.

Until today. I saw her on another friend's friend list. I imemdiately went to her page. I've asked her to be my friend, and although she hasn't accepted yet, I saw something on her page that made me cry. She's married! MARRIED!!!! I mean, why shouldn't she be? She was a sweetheart, but but sometimes people like her don't get married, and it just made me so very, very happy that she is!!!

Baby Mamas

It is HARD to find a best friend after you've had kids. And while I hope that someday I will have another super close, tell them everything, type of best friend, I am also thankful for the mamas in my circle of friends. I know most of them from the breastfeeding moms group and from LLL, and they are an awesome, diverse group of mamas.

Yesterday, true to my New Year's resolution to be more social during the day, I hosted a playdate at my house for about 8 mamas and their babies/toddlers. We had a blast! I worked hard the day before and made homemade cinnamon buns (they were a hit!!). I also served hummus and pita chips. Hummus is always a favorite for the babies in our group. My kids eat it by the pound practically.

There are some really neat mamas in our "group". One is tall, Japanese and gorgeous. She's also in the reserves and she's super tough. Awesome!

Another is from Bosnia and her hubby is from Serbia. They couldn't live in either of their countries so now they live here and they have a sweet little girl about Liam's age.

Although I haven't had a best friend in a while, I have lots of friends with awesome kids, and that's surely something to be thankful for.

The boy.

Liam is going to be death of me, but he's just so cute. How can I get mad?

This morning, my kitchen lights wouldn't come on. Turns out, he'd unscrewed a light bulb on the chandelier above the breaskfast table and so it wouldn't come on. When does he do this stuff? I watch him constantly! I should be a freakin size 2 for how much I chase him!!! I haven't gone potty alone in forever because I'm too scared to have him our of sight.

He also has turned off my DVR the last 2 nights without me seeing so I've yet to see American I_dol! :-(

For a boy who is a year a half old, his vocab is remarkable. I wasn't expecting it since he's a boy and so far has been behind where Olivia wass. I definitely didn't have any expectations since each kid is different, but his vocabulary is exploding!

For example, yesterday morning, while I was getting dressed: "Mommmeeeeeee! I wan yoyurt. C'mon! C'mon" and ran to the kitchen. So I told him to hold on, mommy was getting dressed. But he doesn't like to wait! He came back in and said "I wanna eat! I wanna eat! C'moooooonnnn!"

Then last night, James was working super late, and me and the kids needed a shower, so I decided to get in our big tub with both and do it that way. We had a blast! The kids were so cute and Liam kept giving Olivia and I hugs and kisses. At one point, he was trying to reach a bath toy behind Olivia, and when he crawled over her, he said, "mu-me, Awawa", which is excuse me, Olivia. His words aren't quite as clear as Olivia's were, but he's pretty easy to understand. My family and friends pretty much know what he's saying.

He also insisted on showing us his "pete" over and over, which I tried to ignore. He'd point to it and grin and tell us "pete! pete!" and wait for a reaction. Even at one years old, boys like to show off their stuff. I want my kids to have a healthy knowledge of their bodies, but I also don't want to make a big thing out of it. Olivia's bathroom humour has kicked in lately and she likes to say poop and stuff like that. We just don't make a big deal out of it. I think that's probably the best way to handle it. Sometimes I want to laugh because at 28, I still think poop is funny too, but I try to be the adult! :-)

Just curious, do you use proper names for their parts? In our house, girls have peeps (because I called it that growing up) and boys have Mr. Petes because that's what James called it. Olivia knows the correct names, but we tend to use our made up ones the most. I'm curious because I have a friend who is adament that her kids use proper names and understand their bodies. I think it's a bit much at her kids' ages, but that's just my opinion.

Random catch-up

Catching up!

The almond cream cake I made for my mom's birthday. I worked hard on it! BTW, add a block of cream cheese to any cake batter recipe for moist and delicious cake! The icing is a fluffy mirengue made over a doubler broiler.

The self-portrait Olivia drew a few nights ago. Pretty darn good for a 3 year old!

Liam idolizes Olivia. Here is he dancing with her.

Olivia isn't the only one who likes to dress up. Liam promptly out on her ballet shoes tonight when we got home from ballet.

Off to watch some DVRed Idol and then it's off to bed with my book!

If you like mineral make-up, listen up!

I love mineral make-up. I've struggled with my complexion since I was a teenager and my skin does better with mineral make-up, which is more natural and doesn't clog pores like liquid foundation does.

I've found that the most poular brands are pretty expensive, and while I don't wear a lot of make-up, I like having different colors and products to use, which is why I was thrilled to find this brand: Honeybee Gardens I found their mineral eye shadow at a small, locally owned natural foods store for $5.99 and the prices are that good online, too. It works really well (as well as Bare Escent_uals) and it's less than half the price. And I'm pretty sure since it has the same ingredients too since both advertise that they contain 100% minerals.

They have other products I'd like to try, like chemically safer nail polish. I'll be needing new eyeliner soon, too. If you like mineral make-up, you may want to give this brand a try. You can't beat the price. I just thought I'd pass along my good find!

Keeping that Christmasy feeling all year

There's something about January that makes me really unhappy. The whole month really feels like one big let down from Christmas. I grew up loving Christmas so much as a child because my parents' worked so hard to make sure it was amazing. My love for Christmas, like many adults, has certainly followed me throughout my life. And then having children created a surge of love for everything Christmasy and made it even more wonderful because now I'm also watching my children's joy.

Sure, January still has icons from the season: snowmen (the kids are wearing non-Christmasy snowmen PJs). And we still drink hot cocoa, lots and lots of it. The weather still makes me feel snuggly and in lieu of a fire-- even though we have a wood burning fire place which we've never lit, probably because we're anal and don't want to clean it, a real shame-- I still love to watch the flickering of candles on my mantle in the evening.

I've realized over the years that I work harder at doing "cozy" things after Christmas as a way to keep that feeling alive.

I miss my Christmas tree. I miss driving up to my house and seeing it all lit up. The real reason for Christmas always is close to my heart, but all the rest of it only is celebrated once a year, and I for one, think it's depressing.

So mad I could spit!

Grrrr....

Our dogs chewed a hole in the couch this morning. I know the poodle started it, but I screamed at both of them so much that Liam has been yelling at the ever since. I couldn't help it I was so steaming mad!!! They haven't done something like that since they were puppies. And being the mildly (ok, sometimes more) compulsice person I am, I can't stand to have a couch with a hole and must buy another at once! Ok, in my defense, we kind of needed a new one anyway. Ours is sagging badly since moving because we stored the love seat sitting on top of it and other crap piled on top of that. The weight had already made the couch saggy and uncomfy.

The other thing-- I really want to move my blog but don't know where to start. I want a more private space away from all the family and friends who read this. Love you guys, but I know I'll feel better if I'm not watching myself every second. I don't feel right complaining about a family matter or even about my husband if I know his grandma might read it. James knows how to start a new doman and set it up, but this his schedule, he'll never get around to it. There are so many more pressing things to take care of. Have any of you ever hired someone to do it? Like a company? I know there are people who design blogs. Do they do everything?

On a cute note, Liam keeps putting food on his head and telling me it's a hat. His hair is a mess. Also, in the past few days, he's starting speaking in short sentences. I wasn't expecting it with him being a boy and all and only 18 months, but I think having an older sister probably makes him want to communicate more. I watched him hand his tooth brush to Olivia this morning to put in the cup and he said, "Huhgo, wah-ya, huhgo!" which means, Here you go Olivia, here you go. And he also gave me his bread at lunch and said, "all done! huhgo!" And at the grocery store he told me he wanted a cookie. I'm so excited! It's so neat when their vocabulary suddenly takes off! He has such a deep little voice. So precious!

Talking about my babies has made me feel better, but I'm still pissy about the couch.

Chronically Dissatisfied

Do you know those people who are never really satisfied with anything? They get something they want and then it's on to wanting something else?

I think I might be one of them. I wouldn't classify myself as materialistic, but I do set my sights on things that I think will make me happy and I'm never as satisfied as I think I'm going to be when I get them. That's of course because true fulfillment is not found things, but I still find myself doing it anyway.

There was a time about a year ago when I decided that I loved this town and I loved this house and wanted to stay indefinitely. Not anymore.

James moved to Georgia for me 8 years ago. We were just dating when my family decided to relocate to the south from the DC area. Without hesitation, James said, if you're going, I'm going. I love him even more for it.

Now I think I want to move to Charlotte. What's in Charlotte? Well, it's not here! We're not talking about right now, but we've agreed to be out of Georgia within two years we think. We can build more equity in this house, James will be finished a big project at work that will look good on a resume, and hopefully, the economy will have picked up. And then hopefully, off we'll go!

I had decided that I like Georgia pretty well, but I think that's mostly because I worked hard at convincing myself. The original plan was never to stay here so long.

And my parents? They're on board too and said they'll follow us. Awesome!

None of it is set in stone and it's still a couple years away. We're not even sure it'll be Charlotte, but it's at the top of the list.

Just in case though, where do you live and do you like it?

We're looking for a decent sized town where we can live in a rural-ish area nearby, where it snows a few times a year at least and is a good place to raise a family.

Big oops!

If you left a comment in the last, oh, month... don't worry. I accidentally deleted a whole bunch while trying to get rid of spammers. That's just how good I am. :-)

Christmas-- long overdue!

We've been so busy enjoying the holidays and having Daddy home that I haven't made time to blog. I hope you all had a blessed Christmas celebrating the glorious gift of our Savior!

Our Christmas was awesome, but by far the most tiring, busy one yet. Next year I hope it can be more of a time of rest for my family. I starting shopping so early this year, but still managed to get caught up in the busyness and chaos of the season. I endured being cut off and flicked off in traffic when I should've been home baking with my daughter. In fact, our Christmas cookies were even't made this year until Christmas Eve. Next year, I'll do better at setting aside time just to simply be. It's important to have time to reflect upon God's glorious gifts and enjoy everything rather than running around crazy like I did.

We really started our celebrating on the 23rd when we had my parents, grandma, my grandma's friend Jean, and my sister over for a spread made by moi. I love cooking and preparing all the food brought me such joy. I felt like I took more time doing things I loved before Christmas than I did on the 24th or 25th. Sigh.

The table set with yummy finger foods. I strayed far from my typical healthy cooking. Oh well. It was for Christmas!

I love this tired serving tray my grandma bought me several years ago! On the top: strawberries with lightly sweetened whipped cream, under that: homemade chocolate bark with marshmallows and walnuts, and under that, cucumber sandwiches with garlicy cream cheese spread. A true tea sandwich, except that I made spiced hot punch instead.

This BLT dip was one of my favorites. I tried to remember how I made it so I can make it again. I know I mixed half mayo and half sour cream, probably about a cup of each. Then I added crumbled bacon, chopped tomatoes, and shredded romaine lettuce for some more crunch. I also added some ranch dressing seasoning I keep in the cabinet which I make in large batches. You use easily use a packet from the store though. It was a big hit!

One of the cutest things on the table was the one store-bought item, this cake shaped like a hot chocolate mug. I could barely bring myself to slice it for the guests. I wish I could make something like this.

The next morning, we ate at Atlanta Bread Co (something we seem to do often on Christmas Eve even though it's never planned that way) and then headed to Barnes and Noble for hot cocoa. We let the kids play in the kids' area with their train table knowing that they'd be getting one of their own the next day!

We spent the afternoon making cookies and then headed to my parents' for our annual party where we eat, sing, and read the story of Jesus' birth. This year, it was my turn to read. :-)

When we got home, it was time to play Santa! Both Olivia and Liam fell asleep on the way home from my parents. I was sad we didn't set cookies out for Santa since Olivia was sleeping, but we figured we'd get started setting stuff out so we could get to bed. It was not to be. We didn;t get to bed until after 4:00 am!

As the two Santas worked hard putting out gifts, two little ones took turns waking up every 20 minutes. We started setting everything out and filling stockings around 10:30, and it took until 4:00 because of them constantly waking. But we got it all arranged!

It didn't help that the train set we got them took several hours to assemble. James figured he could knock it out in 2 hours tops, but that was not to be. It was by far one of their favorite gifts!

The kids really made out like bandits. Olivia's favorite toys were a talking Kai-Lan doll and a parrot the immitates everything you say. I knew as soon as I bought it that it would be by far the most annoying present ever, but it is really cool and the kids love it! Liam loves all his new cars and trucks.

Liam was a bit overwhelmed by everything. He really only wanted to play with the first couple things we helped him open and then he didn't care about much else.

Actually, at one point, he ran into the playroom while we were busy opening gifts and discovered the train, which we were saving for last. James ran in and got him, but he kept screaming "treen" the rest of the time until we led the kids back there to show them Santa's big gift to them.

I got a new laptop (which I'm using now), lots of Starbucks VIA coffee in my stocking, a new tea kettle, a Lumos Harry Pot_ter book light (I know, I'm such a dork), kitchen stuff, among other things. I got James new shirts and PJ's, a leather jacket (Great Black Friday deal!), computer parts (don't know what they were, only that they were on his list), a code reader for his car, and some other random stuff.

I have to say, as much as I bought this year, I got the best deals EVER by starting my shopping last summer and waiting for deals, using coupons, and taking advantage of awesome stores like TJ Maxx.

After we opened gifts as home as a family of 4, we headed over to my parents' house where Santa had also visited. My sister got Olivia a bunch of ballet clothes. We had taken the kids over to my parents' in their PJs, but when Olivia opened my sister's gifts, she quickly changed into full ballet attire and put on a show for us!

I feel really guilty about how much they got this year. I think next year I'll buy a bit less. After loading up the car with all the gifts from my parents' and sister, we came home to a trashed living room. I spent the whole day pretty much re-organizing the playroom and finding places for everything.

We had a family dinner that night and enjoyed one last night with our tree. Everything was taken down the next day. I've thought about leaving up our tree longer, but the day after Christmas is always such a letdown and it seems sad to look at a tree knowing it's all over.

I don't think I ever posted a picture of the outside of our house. This year, for the first time, we put out LED lights. We didn't do a whole lot of them because they are expensive. I guess we'll try to aquire a bit more each year. We also purchased some cute little Christmas ducks. The kids loved them and Liam quacked every time he saw them.

And last but not least, I caught Olivia teary-eyed hugging the tree goodbye when we were packing everything away. I wish it could always be Christmas!