Teatopia

Adapting to life with 2

It's been a week since I posted. We've been busy adjusting to having two kids. I've done pretty well with James back to work, but it really helps to have my mom here to help. I've managed to go a few places on my own though. For the last two weeks, I've taken both kids to the breastfeeding moms group through the hospital (I already know some of the mom from La Leche League) and I made one quick trip to the store, too.

Liam is a pretty good sleeper at night, which is a welcome change from what we experienced with Olivia. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 18 months old. He's more awake now during the day and I feel like I'm getting to know him better. He's starting to coo more and really look at us. The poor little guy has baby acne all over his face right now, but I know it'll go away like it did with Olivia.

James and I went to our last Bradley class and brough Liam back to show everyone. We got to share our birth story (still have to finish writing it!) and encourage those who haven't yet had their babies. I'm so glad we took the class because it made going natural much more do-able. I really used my knowledge from the class.

I'm thinking of canceling the moms group that I co-organize with Sara because they just put their house up for sale and are trying to move a few hours away. I'm really bummed about them moving because it's so hard to find friends I really get along with well who also have a child Olivia's age. In this case, James and her hubby are friends, and they have kids both our kids ages. It was hard when MF moved a few months ago, and now with Sara moving, I feel like I'm back to square one. This happens so much because we have so many military families here, and those are usually the moms who come to playgroups and things. Our moms group has been fairly inactive anyway with Sara having had a baby a couple months before me, and now me being busy with Liam. I'm sure you remember me blogging about Karen from the group I was originally in. Well, a bunch of moms left her group (what a big shocker) and started their own. They didn't want to be in a Christian group (like mine and Sara's) so I am thinking of joining theirs. I really wanted a Christian environment for Olivia, but the idea just wasn't very popular, so I think I'm going to make things easier on myself and not worry about hosting events and just join this new group. I know a few of the moms and they are really nice. I want to make sure Olivia is regularly around other kids. she loves playing, and it's good for me to have the socialization. Being a SAHM can get really lonely even though I have Olivia to interact with.

Other notable things:

*We've managed to go out to eat a few times with both kids. I was so nervous about it.

* I'm getting the hang of changing a boy! Finally!

* Liam actually didn't cry when we bathed him last night. First time ever.

* Double strollers are a pain to lift out of a trunk, but when both kids are actually in it and not upset, it's a life saver.

* My stomach has gone down so much faster this time, but the loose skin is nasty. I am strongly considering a tummy tuck.

Merry Belated Christmas!

The good news is, our Christmas was good for most of the day. I finally started feeling better after getting some antibiotics on Saturday, but then Olivia got sick Christmas afternoon and threw up all over her Santa outfit before she could even show it off. Luckily, she hasn't thrown up again, but she has a fever and bumps everywhere. I thought it might be hand, foot, & mouth disease, and the doctor confirmed it today. She has blistery bumps all over her lips, hands, feet, and behind. They aren't seeming to bother her, but she's fussy and I'm praying she doesn't get any blisters inside her mouth, which would make it hard for her to eat and drink. I don't know where in the world she picked it up. I'm always soooo OCD about cleaning things and wiping shopping carts and changing tables with anti-bacterial wipes, but that just shows me that I can't protect her from everything.

We had a fabulous Christmas. Olivia really understood it this year. It was so exciting to watch her run into the living room and see her gifts, yelling "Santa toys, mama!" Santa was good to all of us this year, even though James and I cut back on the spending for each other this year. I gots some great books and DVD's, among other things. James also got me some rare Starbucks memorabelia, which he knew I'd love. I'm such a dork. :-)

James took this Christmas morning before Olivia and I woke up. You can see the Rose Cottage we bought for Olivia. We probably should move to a bigger house just so there's more room for this thing. It conveniently folds up though and we just stick it in the corner.

While James was taking picture, me, my double chin, and Olivia were still sleeping.

top row: My pretty sister, my grandma eating a cookie*, Olivia admiring all her gifts
middle row: Olivia in awe, my blossoming belly, Olivia playing with her new doll at my parents'
bottomw row: my sister's bf drinking coffee while wearing "Billy Bob" teeth (hilarious!!), my awesome dad, Olivia in her Santa outfit before she threw up

*I believe this picture must be explained. My sister and I baked Christmas cookies-- very tasteful, appropriate cookies, but we realized that the dog bone shaped cutter we used looked quite, uh, funny, so my sister broke of part of it and turned it into something not-so-appropriate. Interestingly, although I have a religious family, they are hilarious, so we gave the cookie to my grandma to eat. At first she didn't get it, but when she saw it, she had a good laugh and played along. Funny! Hard to believe it all started with a perfectly innocent dog bone shaped cookie cutter.

Ok, I think I'll leave you with that. I do have something personal I want to talk to you all about soon. Probably in the next few days when Olivia is feeling better.

Losing My Mind

Lately, things have been stressful to say the least. There are times I think I'll simply lose my mind because of everything going on, and other times, I feel God's peace and I'm thankful for the blessings in my life-- and there are many.

My mom hasn't been doing so well. She's having trouble keeping up with her exercises and she's in terrible pain. I've watched people in my family have knee replacements before. There is a rare condition in my family that causes leg deformities (I'm not a carrier) so leg surgeries are nothing new, but my mom's was extremely complicated because of the severe nature of her deformities. From the outside, her legs have always looked fairly normal besides off-center knee caps, but inside, the bones are not formed properly and she's missing parts. It's going to be a long recovery.

My grandma finds out tomorrow whether or not she has cancer, pre-cancer, or something completely different. If she has cancer, I will be devestated. Few people I've ever known are as close to their grandmas as I am. I talk to her every single day. I see her several times a week, at least 4. I have never lived more than 15 minutes from her my entire life, no matter what state we were in. She is a second mother to me. I tell her everything. How many teenages do you know who talk to their grandmothers about their boyfriends? She has always been my advice giver. Seeing her with Olivia brings tears to my eyes. I know she has to go someday, but I'm not ready. She has to get to know this new baby. I am terrified. Please pray for her.

I'm trying to juggle family duties (and taking care of a high-maintenance toddler) and be a good organizer of my Christian mom's group. It's been a rough start, and although I have been diligent about not saying anything negative (besides on my blog) about the group I left (Karen's group), rumors are flying. It would take me a million years to get into everything, but I'm very confused and angry as to why our shared members (people who are in our group and Karens) have no problem with Karen talking about us behind our backs all the time (many people have told me what she says) yet people are mad at me and my co-organizer for, in their words, judging Karen. Because we left to start a Christian group, they think we must be judgmental of her and her group because it wasn't good enough. People will find fault in anything. It just makes me mad because my co-organizer and I have been so careful not to say anything negative about Karen or her group so we could keep a clean, Christian reputation, and it hasn't made any difference. People assume the worst anyway. We've been praying hard for our group, and things are better. The people who just wanted drama are gone, and the ones left are awesome, Christian moms with awesome kids. Before I end this topic, I have to say one thing that gave me just a little satisfaction, even if it's wrong to feel this way. Karen has tried hard to eliminate any group in the area but hers. I've heard her say things about other groups in the past, so I have no doubt she hates ours, too. She "coincidentally" schedules events at the same time as ours, and yesterday, she scheduled an event at the library at the same time as ours. We couldn't be sure she did it on purpose, but it's a safe bet. Well, when we got there, she was arguing with the library because she wanted her "usual" room, the one we were in. They explained that we booked it first, so really, by scheduling her event at the same time, she screwed herself out of her room. Maybe she learned something. I can proudly say that I've done nothing to hurt her or her group and I don't see it as a competition. I don't want her members. I left them for a reason. :-) If I only have a few members who are kind, drama-free people, I'll be thrilled.

I think all the stress and physical stuff I've been doing (cleaning, helping my mom, baking for friends and family, carrying heavy packages to the post office) has caused me to spot again. It's light, and there's no cramping or dark red blood. The doctor assures me all is well with the little one (and I think I'm feeling flutters maybe), but I know I'm doing too much. I wish I had a day to myself. Tomorrow night, I'm going with some friends to see "The Business of Being Born" hosted by our local birth network, so I'm excited about that. It might help me make some decisions about the birth I want this time.

In Olivia news, she is as funny as ever.

She insists regularly that she "pegnant" and says "Have beebee in my tummeeeee." She tells me she loves me all time time and that I'm pretty. Then she says, "eeeya (she calls herself this) pretty, too!" She calls Santa everyday on her pretend phone and tells him she wants a dolly. It makes me tear-up seeing her do all these things. Her vocabulary continues to amaze me. She's speaking better than most 2 year olds I know. The pediatrician assures us she's extremely advanced. :-) I just need to remind myself all kids learn at different paces and this next one might be totally different. I'm guessing that unlike Olivia, he/she will walk early and talk much later and be the total opposite.

We find out the sex in a week and a half. Don't forget to vote.

Well, that concludes this update. Time for bed...

Please pray for my family

I haven't been online much this passed week because my mom had major surgery and we've had family visiting. My mom had a complete knee reconstruction and replacement on Thursday. Originally, she was scheduled for surgery on Dec. 27, but she was in so much pain they decided to move it up. My mom was born crippled, and although she walks fine because of surgeries she had as a baby, her bone structure isn't normal and she has degenerating bones, causing her a lot of pain. The surgery was atypical because of the way my moms knee structure is, so the surgeon had to do a lot of studying and planning in order to re-build everything, but he's confident he did a good job. It's going to be a long recovery though.

Also, my grandma had a bone marrow test yesterday to see what's going on with her consistantly low platelet count and the possibilities are not so good.

If you could, please pray for my mom and grandma.

I promise to be a better blogger, I've just had a lot of family stuff this week, and that has to come first.

Right now, James is out buying more Christmas lights to put up outside. We've never decorated much outside and we completely underestimated what we'd need when we bought some last week. We're hoping to get them all up by tomorrow.

Anyway, I hear James pulling up and Olivia is fussing. She only napped for 15 minutes today, so she's been pretty difficult.

update in pictures and how I told James I was pregnant!

Well, the cravings have begun. I can't stop thinking about food. I'm almost hoping I'll get nauseous just so I'll stop eating. It might be the only thing that keeps me from gaining 25 pounds in the first trimester! Yesterday, I wanted Mexican food so bad, but my car was in the shop getting 2 flat tires fixed (must've run over something). I kept trying to think of a Mexican restaurant that delivered, but there aren't any, so as soon as I got my car back at 3:00, I went right out to a Mexican restaurant with Olivia. :-)

My boobs are really, really sore and nursing has become unpleasant. I'm hoping Olivia will wean herself. I get teary eyed just thinking about it, but we've gone 18 months, and it's probably time. If my boobs stop hurting though and she's still going, I guess I'll cross that bridge then. She nurses so little that I guess I could nurse two...

I told you I'd show you the Christmas outfit I bought Olivia. It's one of the most expensive things I've bought. I always buy her nice clothes, but I don't throw money around. I have a friend whose daughter is always dressed to the nines. I don't think I've seen her in something that didn't cost $50, seriously. Everything is embroidered, hand smocked, and from one of the few pricey boutiques. Olivia has some things like that, but I'm choosey and I look for sales. Anyway, here's her Christmas outfit. I definitely want to get her Christmas potraits done in it!

I had Christmas diapers made, too. They just got here the other day. I wanted them now because in a couple weeks, we're going to our annual Christmas craft fair and I wanted her to be able to wear them.

I have some Olivia pictures too. I can't believe my daughter is 18 months old. There's nothing that makes your life fly by faster than having children. Suddenly, life just speeds up!

Look at these curls! I could play with her hair all day, seriously.

Can you see the lemon? I can't believe how much she likes them. She makes faces, but she always wants more. Oh, and see the boo-boo under her eye? It actually looks much worse in person. She fell off a chair and hit her face. :-( I'm having a hard time accepting that getting hurt is part of being a kid.

Here she is in James's old (but clean) painting shirt. She pulled it out of the laudry basket and cried until we put it on her. Then she wouldn't take it off.

She was so tired and needed to go to bed, but she still wouldn't let us take it off. If we got near her, she'd yell, "No! Shirt!"

This is the shirt I bought for Olivia to wear the day I found out I was pregnant. I never really blogged about how I told James. He had no idea I was going to test because I wanted to surprise him. I went out and bought this shirt, and when he got home, I waited for him to look at the shirt. Olivia kept pointing to her shirt and telling James that she had a bow on her shirt, and he told her it was cute, but he never read it. I kept waiting and waiting and I was getting really impatient. I even asked him if he looked closely at her shirt and he told me he had. LIAR! :-) Finally, he asked me when I thought I'd test, and I said, "Oh, I don't know. Hey, have you looked at her shirt?" and again, he said he had. Finally, I yelled at him, "READ THE DAMN SHIRT!" :-) And he did, but he didn't get it. ??????!!!!!????? He asked me why Olivia was wearing a "big sister" shirt if I hadn't even tested yet. I asked him why I'd put the shirt on her if I wasn't sure? He said, "well you said you hadn't tested" and I explained that I was putting him off because I wanted him to read the shirt. We both ended up laughing and hugging when he finally put it all together!!

That evening, my parents were coming by, and James said he didn't think they'd get it either. I told him I KNEW they would, and sure enough, they noticed right away. James is just dense I guess. LOL!

Anyway, I'm still not sure if it's hit me. For a few days I thought it had, but now I'm not so sure. I don't feel that differently, and my mind is so consumed with thoughts of Olivia-- her constant chattering (she even asks me questions now), and her climbing, and "re-organizing" of everything in the house. I'm too busy to think about being pregnant! I sometimes wonder how I'll handle 2 of them, but I'm 100% busy now, so I guess it can't get that much harder.

Well, I'm off to make dinner. We're going on a walk after dinner to enjoy this cool air for as long as it lasts. Tomorrow, we're going to a fall festival in the mountains!

Happy Birthday, James! (and family pictures)

I'm a bit late posting this, but we celebrated James's 28th birthday on Saturday. We had a nice family get together with kabobs on the grill, pasta salad, garlic cheese biscuits, orange cream fruit salad, baked beans, ice cream cake, and appetizers. I didn't get to take food pics because I was running around getting the food out, making kabobs, and cleaning up.

It was a great party! I can't believe James is 28. Most people say he looks younger than that.

Olivia enjoyed trying on people's shoes.

James loved his gifts. We had a great time!

When I started to decorate with the balloons I'd blown up, I noticed one of my decorations looking slightly phallic. LOL! Can you spot it?

My sister's bf Marc and Olivia took turns pushing her toy around. She's obsessed with this thing. She crashes it into everything and then screams "MAMAMAMAMA!!!!!" for me to come and turn it around for her.

We took Olivia to the pool last week, and I've been meaning to post these pictures. She loves her floaty! When we push her around, she says, "Weeeeeeeeeeee!"

She's started calling glasses "eyes", which she made up by herself.

Her vocabulary never ceases to amaze me. She's been starting to say two word sentences, like "Dada side?" which means "Is Daddy outside?"
She also can say most parts of the body (elbow, nose, ear, teeth, hair, eye, etc). I love teaching her new words. She also pointed to various dishes on the dinner table the other night and named them, and I didn't even know she knew the words. She said "rice" and pointed and also "peas". She also knows apple and she days grape ("gaype"). I have to remind myself when we have another child that Olivia is an early talker. I don't want to place high expectations on another child when they might be as smart, just not talking as early.

She had a blast at the cosmetic store, Ulta the other day.

Reading with Grammie at Barnes & Noble:

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

We are family (just imagine the song!)

I love how close my family is. I've had friends that have thought it's weird that I am so close to my parents (how many girls come home and tell their mom the first time they frech kissed a guy?). Mostly though, people are amazed, because it's unusual for all of us to be so close. We all moved down here together, one after the other (parents and sis, then grandma, then me, then James) and we won't move until everyone is ready because we've all agreed this is not our permanent home. We'll be coming back north sometime soon. Yay!

I can't imagine not being surrounded by my family. I realize jobs take people elsewhere, and life may not make it possible for us all to stay together, but I love that we are able to all live in the same town.

I love that my grandma gave me money to buy new shoes for my trip just because she thought it would make me excited to have something new. I love that when she said goodbye to me and Olivia today (and Olivia kissed her), that she cried because she'll miss us. I love that as silly as it may be, my mom and I got all teary saying goodbye to each other. My mom even bought Olivia a few new toys for the trip so she'd have something new to keep her busy. It may only be 8 days, but she sees us so much, it'll feel strange. She's scared she'll miss something because Olivia is doing something new every day. I love my family. I am so very blessed!

And I also love the fact that tomorrow, we'll be with even more family-- family that hasn't yet met our amazing Olivia. We've been practicing all their names, some of which she can say, but even when she can't, she attempts it. We always praise her even when her version is far from the real word because she thinks she said it! :) I'm thrilled they are getting to see her while she's still a baby.

Sadly, I doubt I'll be able to blog from there. Please pray that I will have the courage to defend my decisions. I'm such a wuss! Leave me some love while I'm gone.

Retraction

I'm not actually retracting what I wrote about the hubby, but I have decided in all fairness, I should share some good things about him as well. He's actually a good guy most of the time, and he smells like heaven.

-- He's good at surprising me with random gifts, plans, and cards. He's always been like that.

-- The day I gave birth to Olivia, he gave me a diamond necklace with a charm of a mother and baby.

-- He allowed me to spend a tremendous amount of money on our South African safari trip because he knew it was my dream. He said he would've been happy going to the beach.

-- Most importantly and selflessly, he is working his job plus some side freelance work (in addition to going to grad school) so I can have my dream of staying home with Olivia and our subsequent children.

-- Also very selfless, he followed me to Georgia after we'd only been dating a few months because he said he couldn't live without me. I should add that he took a major pay cut (like half).

God, I love this man. He may drive me COMPLETELY nuts sometimes, but he's not so bad, really. :-D I think I'll keep him.

Men Suck

Come check this out.

Then, come back here and tell me why your husband* sucks.

*My husband knows I love him, but sometimes, he makes me want to jump off a bridge!!! Though I'm sure he'd say the same about me sometimes. :-) But he doesn't have a blog to write about me. HA!

Oh, and where's my love? Why aren't you people leaving me any love? I see you on my counter. Don't be shy!

Amazing Birthday Dinner

I had a completely amazing birthday dinner at 10 Degrees South last night! We'll celebrate at my parents' house on Tuesday, but last night was certainly a night to remember! The restaurant was gorgeous, they played great music (Olivia couldn't stop dancing!), the food, wine, and desserts were fabulous, and we just had the nicest time.

Going clockwise, the dishes are: safari salad with papaya dressing, filet au poivre, chicken curry with sambals (my dinner), pap (like palenta-- sorry it's hard to see), and my amazing dessert: fruit cake!

We had trouble taking pictures. It was a dim restaurant, but when I used the flash, they turned out pretty bright. In fact, James kept yelling at me to stop using the flash because it's a nice restaurant, but we were off in a corner by ourselves, so I took a few anyway. Pooh on him. I wanted pictures!

Eating saltines that we brought:

Sometimes it takes two hands!

Mommy & Olivia by the masks:

I was kind of disappointed that they didn't have t-shirts like the website said, but they told me I could call later and they'd send me one. I also assumed that the waiters/staff would be South African, but no one we spoke to was. we had tons of people come to our table to see Olivia. She was dressed in a safari themed outfit from Gymboree, complete with pink animal tights, a denim skirt with animals on it, and a matching shirt. We ended up talking to almost everyone who worked there. The only person I even knew was from South Africa was this really hot waiter, but the food was totally authentic (from what I remember of our trip).

James took this before we left . . .

It's his version of "Where's Waldo?" Can you spot Olivia?

Here she is!

I will definitely be going back, but not too often because it's quite pricey, but so worth it!

Father's Day

James really enjoyed his first Father's Day. I have some pictures to post later. James really liked his cufflinks. I also gave him a grilling set from Eddie Bauer. For lunch, Olivia and I took him to Atlanta Bread Company and then we went to Barnes and Noble to look around for birthday ideas (his b-day is 6/30). We relaxed in the afternoon and then went to dinner at Smokey Bones with my family.

I think James really enjoyed his first Father's Day. It meant a lot to me to honor him as Olivia's Daddy. Last night, afer we all went to bed, I read for a while. As I laid there reading*, my daughter and my husband snored (I snored while pregnant, and when I stopped, James started). I thought about how blessed I am and I thanked God for my family.

*I was reading about the benefits of breastfeeding, and boy did I learn a lot! I actually want to post about this later. I learned so much-- that the mother's body gives the baby white blood cells constantly through her milk, that there are special proteins that promote brain development, that there are enzymes that clean out the baby's digestive system to keep it healthy, and much, much more. So fascinating and miraculous.

Life in General

Today's been a good day. Went to the mall with my mom and got James a Father's Day gift. It was neat picking out a gift, and strange at the same time. This man, who I have always known as my best friend, confidant, and travel buddy, is a parent now too. There's this whole other reason now for me to love him! Anyway, James doesn't often wear a suit, but when he does, he really likes to dress up, so I bought him some cuff links, but they are lockets, and I am putting a picture of Olivia in one, and me in the other. I know he'll love them! My hubby looks so handsome in a suit!

Tonight we went to a great steak house with my family to celebrate my mom's new job. She has been hired to start a drama program at the school where I taught. After I resigned, the principal hired my mom for this new job. We couldn't have taught there together because immediate family members can't work together. After dinner, Olivia and I took a bath together (I don't know who loves it more!) She seems to know me so much more lately. She looks for me whenever anyone else holds her and she iniates smiling at me all the time. This is my reward for all those 9 months of acid reflux and hard labor. When that child looks at me, I melt!

Yesterday, my mom and I went Newnan (a suburb of Atlanta) to buy stuff to set up a small nursery in my mom's house. We're there so much that it'll be nice for her to have a place to sleep. Also, I am working very part-time doing some accounting for my dad's business at their house, and so Olivia is there a good deal. It means a lot to me that my mom wants to have a little nursery. :-)

Yesterday, I bought a portable swing to take to the beach. Olivia already has a bigger one in her nusery, but this one is great for
trips. I'll probably leave it at my mom's the rest of the time so she can use it there.

Tomorrow James and I are going to look at living room furniture during his lunch break. We have this nasty stain on our chair and we're not sure where it came from. It seems to be getting darker and darker. We also need a new couch. We've had this one 4 years and it has pulls on it from when our dogs were puppies. I hope we find something good on sale. Money is definitely an object here.

A Family Tradition

Last night we went to one of my favorite annual family Christmas traditions. Ever since moving to Georgia 4 years ago, we have gone to the holiday night at our local grocery store. They have a Thanksgiving meal (pictured above), and other tasty samples: apple cider, egg nog, holiday ice creams, etc. My grandma, who is now home from the hospital, came and so did my parents, sister, and uncle who is visiting. Walking around eating Christmas cookies, turkey, and listening to Christmas carols totally put me in the holiday spirit! :-)

I forgot to mention that a couple weeks ago, I went to a Chritmas craft fair and bought a hand-made Christening dress for the baby. I'll post a picture of it. That fair is another great holiday tradition. What are you favorite traditions with your family?

So Much for Feeling Better

When the phone rang last night at 11 something, I just knew someone had to be dead. No one ever calls us that late on weeknights and I just had a feeling. My first thought was that it must be my grandma, but when James sleepily looked at the caller ID and said it was his mom, I felt relief. He decided not to answer. Still, I felt that something was wrong. Turns out James's dear Uncle George is dead. They e-mail all the time and James has always been close to him. In fact, when we went to visit last Christmas, Uncle George paid for a rental car for us. James will be leaving Friday to attend the funeral and he thinks I should stay here. I agree it's probably best, but I feel so left out. I hate that he'll be up in Maryland with his family (they're mine too) and I'll be here, alone. First of all, most of his family smokes and he doesn't want me around it. Also, it's going to be $500 or so just for him. I hate that he'll miss Trick-or-Treating and the lunch we had planned Sunday with some couples from church. At least if I stay, I'll be able to go to the huge Christmas craft fair I am supposed to go to on Friday evening. Also, there's the problem with finding someone to watch Gracie and Wrigley, our dogs. It's just plain easier if I stay.

Do you think we made the right choice? After how I was feeling yesterday, this has only made it worse. A weekend alone while my family is grieving at a funeral without me.

Worried and Stressed

Tonight I am feeling kind of frustrated. My grandma, after having her knee replacement put back in last Thursday, had to have yet another surgery today because her knee was bleeding pretty badly. They didn't find the cause, but they said they normally don't. Now they're just going to watch it to see if the bleeding stops. I feel so badly for her. It's hard to keep going to the hospital all the time and visiting her when I am so tired. It's also hard that everyone else is so busy with her because I kind of feel left out, even though I shouldn't. This is such a special time for me and my family is so pre-occupied. We weren't even sure my mom could come to my first ultrasound this week because she had to transfer my grandma to a recovery place. Thankfully, a dear family friend said she'd be happy to do it so my mom can go see her first grandbaby's ultrasound. I have been stressed worrying over my grandma and I am exhausted from working, taking classes, visiting her, and feeling generally tired.

I also am feeling fat. The only time I even look a little pregnant is when I have eaten and my tummy sticks out. Other than that, my lower abdomen sticks out a bit and I can feel my uterus when I press on my tummy. I am so bloated and my tummy (actual stomach) is too fat.

Yet, I have so much to be happy about. I am crazy excited about my ultrasound Thursday, even though I'm a bit nervous, yet I am dwelling on the negative. Someone talk me out of this, pretty please?