Teatopia

Getting a Grip

We've been making a tremendous effort to eat healthier and just be healthier in general. I know I'm not alone in these efforts and I've enjoyed reading about healthy living on a few of your blogs. Seems a few of us are really working hard. I was on a great kick several months ago and could see some great changes in my body. I cut out most processed foods, tried to eat more raw fruits & veggies, started buying lots of organic, and made an effort to exercise regularly.
I even was careful when I went to St@rbucks, ordering skim lattes with artificial sweetener or sugar free syrup. I know my coffee obsession doesn't help and I've lapsed into ordering whipped cream again and licking gooey caramel syrup. Yikes! Sometime last summer, I got lazy and relapsed a bit, but still maintained some of my healthy habits, though not enough to maintain my weight loss. :-(

This time around, there have been a few things prompting my choice to regain a healthy life style. One obvious reason is this pregnancy. I'm much more aware of what goes into my body, and I feel guilty for some of the over-indulging I did in the first trimester. It's so easy to get that "eating for two" mindset, when really, eating for two should make me more conscious of what this little baby is being exposed to. It was much easier when I was pregnant with Olivia because I had more time to plan meals. When I went to work, I packed healthy lunches and had to eat them because it was all I had with me. Now, I'm at home and I go out to lunch with my sister and my friends and I end up eating crap. Or, I snack throughout the day. Even when I'm eating fairly low-fat snacks, too many of them definitely add up. I'm also notorious for eating late at night, which is awful, I know. I was also desperately thirsty during my 1st pregnancy, and often I drank so much water that I didn't eat much else. These days however, dinner often is whatever is easiest or fastest, and while I don't make anything really fattening (nothing fried), even boxed things like Hamburger Helper aren't so good. There's little nutritional value. Lately, I've been planning ahead and looking at healhy cookbooks for ideas, and I've been enjoying it. I just hope it lasts. I tend to get really excited about things, and then my focus shifts to other stuff and I stop doing what I was doing and get caught up in other things.

I think that in order to really be healthier, the next step is to start exercising more. It'll make my labor much easier. I know I can't lose weight right now, but I can maintain and get serious after the little guy arrives.

The other reason I'm trying harder is because of the shock I got when I finally weighed myself. I know it's terrible that I didn't know-- that I avoid looking when I go to the doctor's. I don't even own a scale anymore. Ours broke and I never replaced it. How's that for poor self-image? I actually have told doctors not to tell me. I know, it's bad. Well, I figured I needed to know for this pregnancy, and I almost fainted when I found out that I started out at the weight I weighed at the end of my pregnancy with Olivia. I lost a lot of weight last spring, so sometime between then and a few months ago, I put on a lot of weight. I stopped exercising when my health condition prevented me from doing so (the one I blogged about on my private blog-- you can leave a comment for the password if you haven't seen it or want to read it again). But in spite of it, my heart is more important and I might just have to deal with some discomfort from my health problem in order to live longer in the long-run.

James has been really making an effort over the last few months, eating oatmeal each morning and drinking slim-fast at lunch. I can see a huge difference. Neither of us is "fat", but we both need to lost some weight. I probably need to drop 40/50 pounds to be thin again, and that's not going to be easy. I'm not sure I'll ever be skinny again, but even average would be fine. I'm not plus-sized, but if I keep gaining a few pounds each year, I'll be headed that way. I'd love to be in a single digit size this time next year, or by the summer of 2009. Keep in mind, I still have 4 months to go before the little guy comes, than probably another 2 months of recovery, so it'll take some time...

Anyway, for now, putting good things into my body is going to give this new baby a great start, and also hopefully keep me from gaining more weight than I should. I've been making things like whole wheat spaghetti noodles with tomato sauce, tons of veggies (mushrooms, onions, garlic, peppers, spinach, etc) and lean ground meat.

On Friday, I made a meal inspired by a Diabetic cookbook, which I bought it when my blood sugar was a little high in my 1st pregnancy. I cooked pork, onions, and garlic in my crockpot on low for 9 hours. It was fall-apart tender and so good. I could smell it cooking from outside my house! :-) I also cooked sweet plantains in just a tiny bit on Canola and simmered black beans, onions, garlic, tomatoes, and spices for a couple hours to pour over rice. It was divine and low-fat. Olivia loved it.

For dessert, I baked a strawberry cake made with low-fat strawberry yogurt, fresh fruit, and whole wheat flour. Olivia devoured it!

One of my current favorite snacks is light Laughing Cow Cheese spread on whole wheat saltines. Yum! Also, I've been eating fresh pineapple and strawberries dipped in vanilla yogurt when I have a sweet tooth. I also bought some of the Smart Pop pocorn, which is pretty good. I don't buy anything bad, I can't eat it, but I do struggle when I go to my parents a few times a week and I see my dad with chips and cookies. I usually give in. :-( It's soooooo freaking hard sometimes!

Anyway, we want to establish good eating habits for Olivia, who thankfully loves fresh food. Just look at her with her banana! :-)

And here's another just because I think she's so cute! :-) She makes this face a lot lately because we always laugh when she does.

Merry Belated Christmas!

The good news is, our Christmas was good for most of the day. I finally started feeling better after getting some antibiotics on Saturday, but then Olivia got sick Christmas afternoon and threw up all over her Santa outfit before she could even show it off. Luckily, she hasn't thrown up again, but she has a fever and bumps everywhere. I thought it might be hand, foot, & mouth disease, and the doctor confirmed it today. She has blistery bumps all over her lips, hands, feet, and behind. They aren't seeming to bother her, but she's fussy and I'm praying she doesn't get any blisters inside her mouth, which would make it hard for her to eat and drink. I don't know where in the world she picked it up. I'm always soooo OCD about cleaning things and wiping shopping carts and changing tables with anti-bacterial wipes, but that just shows me that I can't protect her from everything.

We had a fabulous Christmas. Olivia really understood it this year. It was so exciting to watch her run into the living room and see her gifts, yelling "Santa toys, mama!" Santa was good to all of us this year, even though James and I cut back on the spending for each other this year. I gots some great books and DVD's, among other things. James also got me some rare Starbucks memorabelia, which he knew I'd love. I'm such a dork. :-)

James took this Christmas morning before Olivia and I woke up. You can see the Rose Cottage we bought for Olivia. We probably should move to a bigger house just so there's more room for this thing. It conveniently folds up though and we just stick it in the corner.

While James was taking picture, me, my double chin, and Olivia were still sleeping.

top row: My pretty sister, my grandma eating a cookie*, Olivia admiring all her gifts
middle row: Olivia in awe, my blossoming belly, Olivia playing with her new doll at my parents'
bottomw row: my sister's bf drinking coffee while wearing "Billy Bob" teeth (hilarious!!), my awesome dad, Olivia in her Santa outfit before she threw up

*I believe this picture must be explained. My sister and I baked Christmas cookies-- very tasteful, appropriate cookies, but we realized that the dog bone shaped cutter we used looked quite, uh, funny, so my sister broke of part of it and turned it into something not-so-appropriate. Interestingly, although I have a religious family, they are hilarious, so we gave the cookie to my grandma to eat. At first she didn't get it, but when she saw it, she had a good laugh and played along. Funny! Hard to believe it all started with a perfectly innocent dog bone shaped cookie cutter.

Ok, I think I'll leave you with that. I do have something personal I want to talk to you all about soon. Probably in the next few days when Olivia is feeling better.

Losing My Mind

Lately, things have been stressful to say the least. There are times I think I'll simply lose my mind because of everything going on, and other times, I feel God's peace and I'm thankful for the blessings in my life-- and there are many.

My mom hasn't been doing so well. She's having trouble keeping up with her exercises and she's in terrible pain. I've watched people in my family have knee replacements before. There is a rare condition in my family that causes leg deformities (I'm not a carrier) so leg surgeries are nothing new, but my mom's was extremely complicated because of the severe nature of her deformities. From the outside, her legs have always looked fairly normal besides off-center knee caps, but inside, the bones are not formed properly and she's missing parts. It's going to be a long recovery.

My grandma finds out tomorrow whether or not she has cancer, pre-cancer, or something completely different. If she has cancer, I will be devestated. Few people I've ever known are as close to their grandmas as I am. I talk to her every single day. I see her several times a week, at least 4. I have never lived more than 15 minutes from her my entire life, no matter what state we were in. She is a second mother to me. I tell her everything. How many teenages do you know who talk to their grandmothers about their boyfriends? She has always been my advice giver. Seeing her with Olivia brings tears to my eyes. I know she has to go someday, but I'm not ready. She has to get to know this new baby. I am terrified. Please pray for her.

I'm trying to juggle family duties (and taking care of a high-maintenance toddler) and be a good organizer of my Christian mom's group. It's been a rough start, and although I have been diligent about not saying anything negative (besides on my blog) about the group I left (Karen's group), rumors are flying. It would take me a million years to get into everything, but I'm very confused and angry as to why our shared members (people who are in our group and Karens) have no problem with Karen talking about us behind our backs all the time (many people have told me what she says) yet people are mad at me and my co-organizer for, in their words, judging Karen. Because we left to start a Christian group, they think we must be judgmental of her and her group because it wasn't good enough. People will find fault in anything. It just makes me mad because my co-organizer and I have been so careful not to say anything negative about Karen or her group so we could keep a clean, Christian reputation, and it hasn't made any difference. People assume the worst anyway. We've been praying hard for our group, and things are better. The people who just wanted drama are gone, and the ones left are awesome, Christian moms with awesome kids. Before I end this topic, I have to say one thing that gave me just a little satisfaction, even if it's wrong to feel this way. Karen has tried hard to eliminate any group in the area but hers. I've heard her say things about other groups in the past, so I have no doubt she hates ours, too. She "coincidentally" schedules events at the same time as ours, and yesterday, she scheduled an event at the library at the same time as ours. We couldn't be sure she did it on purpose, but it's a safe bet. Well, when we got there, she was arguing with the library because she wanted her "usual" room, the one we were in. They explained that we booked it first, so really, by scheduling her event at the same time, she screwed herself out of her room. Maybe she learned something. I can proudly say that I've done nothing to hurt her or her group and I don't see it as a competition. I don't want her members. I left them for a reason. :-) If I only have a few members who are kind, drama-free people, I'll be thrilled.

I think all the stress and physical stuff I've been doing (cleaning, helping my mom, baking for friends and family, carrying heavy packages to the post office) has caused me to spot again. It's light, and there's no cramping or dark red blood. The doctor assures me all is well with the little one (and I think I'm feeling flutters maybe), but I know I'm doing too much. I wish I had a day to myself. Tomorrow night, I'm going with some friends to see "The Business of Being Born" hosted by our local birth network, so I'm excited about that. It might help me make some decisions about the birth I want this time.

In Olivia news, she is as funny as ever.

She insists regularly that she "pegnant" and says "Have beebee in my tummeeeee." She tells me she loves me all time time and that I'm pretty. Then she says, "eeeya (she calls herself this) pretty, too!" She calls Santa everyday on her pretend phone and tells him she wants a dolly. It makes me tear-up seeing her do all these things. Her vocabulary continues to amaze me. She's speaking better than most 2 year olds I know. The pediatrician assures us she's extremely advanced. :-) I just need to remind myself all kids learn at different paces and this next one might be totally different. I'm guessing that unlike Olivia, he/she will walk early and talk much later and be the total opposite.

We find out the sex in a week and a half. Don't forget to vote.

Well, that concludes this update. Time for bed...

The Procedure...

was awful. It's up there with one of the most painful experiences of my life. And you're talking to the girl who's been through labor (mostly without medication, although there were those 2 hours). The girl who had the rest of her toenail ripped off without meds after that injury last summer. I like to watch when they draw my blood, or when I get stitches. I've had countless procedures done over the years and this may be #1 for the most agonizing. I seriously laid there are cried like a stupid baby. All I could do was to bite my lip to keep from screaming and I tried to picture Olivia's face and hear her voice telling me she wanted to give me a kiss. That's my favorite thing she does.

I thought I was going to be under sedation. Not so. They gave me a shot of 75 mg of Demerol in my leg. I assumed I'd have something introvenus drug to relax me. Nope. The Demerol is supposed to take the edge off. If it did, I can't fathom what it would've been like without it. They gave me a shot to numb the area (those shots always sting like crazy), but that was nothing. When he stuck the intrument in to go into my spine, the numbing medication didn't go that far down, so I could feel him poking around in my spine. When he'd touch various places in my spine, parts of my body would jerk by themselves and they felt like they were on fire.

I am so sore. My back feels like someone kicked it 25 times with steel boots. I can't pick up Olivia, which is killing me. Nursing has been an adventure. I'm trying to nurse her as much as I can though. I've had a cold for the last several days (which is why I've been MIA) and I want her to have lots of antibodies to keep her from catching it. I guess the only good thing about being awake during the torture procedure was that I was scared I'd be so congested and I wouldn't breathe through my mouth is I was asleep. I used some nasal spray before I went in, and that helped.

In thinking about it, this is a whiny post, but I wanted to be honest about the whole procedure. I can tell you this, back surgery is the farthest thing from my mind. An absolute last resort! I will exhaust all options before even considering it. I am too young for such a procedure. We're settling soon, so all I can hope is that when the time comes to have the surgery (it's pretty much inevitable), the money will be there to cover it, as out insurance may not since it's related to a car accident.

Must go. Need to lay down again.

ETA: next entry will most likely be about cloth diapers. I'll be answering your questions and showing off my stash! :-)

Lean Mommy

No, not me. Certainly not me. Not fat, but not lean either. :-)

Actually, this book, Lean Mommy, was sent to me by a publishing company and it's awesome!!!

As you know, I used to host a stroller exercise group, but with it being 100 degrees every day, I've stopped until we get some cooler weather. Can't wait!

As a mom, I really think a jogging stroller is the way to go. I love being outside and getting some fresh air, and this book is full of different exercises you can do with your stroller.

The book also is very motivating and realistic. It has reminded me that I'm not alone in seeing unwanted changes in my body. Other things I've tried just were not realistic. How can I be regular with an exercise video at home when my daughter is getting into everything? With stroller exercise, we get to go outside and she's happy (usually) seeing the sights while I do my thing.

The author also advocates a healthier life style through good eating habits, which is something I was Olivia to learn early on.

A must read for moms wanted to get fit!

Books and Boobs

Am feeling v. happy!

There's a house for sale in our neighborhood, so I called the number on the sign and pretended to be in the market for a new home so I could find out the asking price. I was thrilled to learn that we've aquired some equity! Now if I could only pay off the new heater and air conditioner we put in so I can actually keep the equity when we sell our house. We've been thinking about moving lately. Just thinking. And talking. Not planning. We want another child, but I know I'd like to enjoy having more money each month (less cooking for me!) and I'd hate to have a bigger mortgage. Hmmm... something to think about. And moving is such a pain. I'm getting anxious just thinking about it. :-)

My aunt and uncle are visiting us this week. They last saw Olivia when she was 7 months old, so she's a completely different baby now. Walking and talking, and she's been giving them hugs and kisses. I like that she doesn't give open-mouthed kisses like so many babies. She gives nice, dry normal smooches and I love them. I'll often pretend to cry just to get a smile and a kiss (she knows I'm kidding).

I am impatiently waiting for Harry Potter to arrive. Am@zon hasn't even sent it out yet. I may have to attack someone with a hack saw. I WANT MY HARRY POTTER BOOK AND I WANT IT NOW! I am DYING to find out how it all ends. I just hope this one is better than the last. I wasn't that impresses with the last one. In the meantime, I've found the cutest series: the "No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency". I'm only on the first in the series, but I'm already hooked. It's about a woman in Botswana who opens her own detective agency with the money from the sale of her father's cattle after his death. I like that it's in Africa because the cultural info is interesting.
I like that it has words like lekker and biltong. Good old South African words (I am so totaly obsessed). I love reading words spelled in the Bristish fashion. Words like "organised" and "neighbour". Very cool. It doesn't read like a typical mystery. It's a lot lighter, perfect for tired Mamas like me who can barely focus on a book by the time their stubborn baby is asleep.

I also ordered Olivia a book called, "Breastmilk Makes My Tummy Yummy" to which James asked, "Isn't that a bit weird?" My repsonse? A very mean look and "Absolutely not!" I think it's great! Breastfeeding is awesome and amazing and this book is the cutest. It even has a picture of a baby nursing from a "boof" on the front. She may not understand the book now, but someday, when I nurse her brother or sister, we can read the book together and she'll understand how special it is.

Speaking of BF, I was at a breastfeeding moms' playgroup yesterday, and I learned of a campaign called ban the bag. It's interesting. Check it out. I have mixed feelings. If you are formula feeding, it's very helpful I suppose, but it might sway some people toward bottles who are undecided. I know how much I wanted to nurse, but when I couldn't get Olivia to latch on, the bag, with all its samples, started to look good, but I resisted the urge. In that sense, they were a bad influence, yet I was glad to have samples. I gave them to my friend and she was grateful. I think we need to be pro-breast but not anti-formula either. Some people need to formula-feed and some want to and will regardless of what you tell them, so why not give them something free to feed their baby? Just thinking out loud (you know what I mean). I like to talk about BF with these ladies, but I think the judgement is wrong. They can be pleased with their choice, and be passionate about it, without ridiculing others. That really bothers me.

Now for a completely off topic question. Seen any good movies lately? My Netfl!x queue is seriously lacking.

Nip/Tuck

I was reading an interesting conversation on a blog the other day. The blogger mentioned that she was thinking about getting implants, and the next thing I read, many bloggers got all worked up, accusing her of being vain and too much into appearances. Some said they were dissapointed in her. The whole thing surprised me. I figured people were more relaxed about it these days. There were some who supported her choice. A mom in my moms' group got gorgeous new boobs a few weeks back, and the attitude of most moms seemed to be, "good for you!" I know in our society, many people (like stars) take it a bit too far, focusing entirely too much on their image and causing many women to have unhealthy feelings abou the way they look.

Personally, I don't have a problem with plastic surgery to a degree. I think if you can afford it and it makes you feel better, go for it. I fully intend to have a tummy tuck when I'm done having kids. James and I have already talked about it, and he says we'll take out a loan if need be. I don't consider myself a vain person. I doubt I'd ever have a face lift or lypo, but I don't like the way my clothes fit now, and having extra skin there makes it tough. I also know no matter how much I work out, it's here to stay. And I'm sure, after 1 or 2 more babies, it'll only get worse. So yes, I plan to have plastic surgery someday. But I don't look at it as enhancing myself, I just want to get back to the way I was.

But what about people who probably look fine to the rest of us? What about wanting bigger boobs? Or fatter lips? Or a less wrinkled forehead?

I'm curious, what are your views on plastic surgery? Is it vain and a waste of money that could be better spent, or do you believe it's great if it makes someone feel better? Where do you draw the line?

So, if you're all for plastic surgery, what would you be most likely to get? Anything bothering you? If money wasn't an object, how would you change yourself?

It's better!

I just got back from the doctors (yep, on a Sunday!) and he said things are looking good. The nurse told me that these usually need to be cut open and packed 2-3 times before they begin to heal, but that we must've caught mine early. It still hurts, but there aren't any signs of infection. I am so thankful. He told me to stay on my meds and he also prescribed a body wash to kill staph infections to use for the next several weeks, just to prevent any further problems. It's certainly not my Bath & Body Works wash, but I know it's important that I use it.

This is how my arm is looking now. The incision has healed well. You can see some of the bruising (he pushed SO hard to squeeze out the infection) and there's some bruising. You can also see where my skin was irritated by the band-aid and tape. Apparently, it's adhesive that is causing me a reaction because it didn't seem to make a difference when I changed to non-latex band-aids. This is a new thing for me, so hopefully after the baby arrives, I won't be allergic anymore.

I Could Use Your Prayers

Yesterday was kind of a whirl-wind. On Wednesday afternoon, as I was leaving school, I noticed what I thought was a tiny bug bite on my upper right arm. It was pink, but I didn't think much of it. I could even see the little hole where I figured some bug had bitten me. I figured it would go away, no problem. Well, Thursday night, it had begun to get bigger, so I rubbed some cortizone cream on it and put a band-aid on it. The next morning I still didn't think much about it (I've had my share of outrageous bug bites from all my traveling). By lunch yesterday, my arm was on fire and getting red. I took the bandage off to see that it had filled with white pus and now looked like a boil. Everyone at school said they thought it was a spider bite and wanted me to get it checked out right away. The office staff wanted me to show the clinic worker at school and she encouraged me to go to the doctor right away. I made some calls and found that my OBGYN and regular doctor has closed already, so I decided to head to the urgent care place down the road from work. As I was leaving, the clinic worker at school came running after me with a pamphlet on something called "MRSA" or methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus. She said she didn't want to alarm me, but she had just remembered receiving info on an unusual condition that has been becoming more common. She said this was worse than a spider bite and thought I should ask the doctor. It's a boil that masks as a spider bite, and is actually worse than a spider bite in terms of danger. After waiting over an hour at the doctors and being told, "don't worry honey, I gained tons of weight with my daughter too" when they weighed me (gee thanks!), the doctor finally got to me. He took one look at my arm and said "not a spider bite, that IS what you thought, isn't it?" Turns out it's MSRA.

"The organism Staphylococcus aureus is found on many individuals skin and seems to cause no major problems. However if it gets inside the body, for instance under the skin or into the lungs, it can cause important infections such as boils or pneumonia. Individuals who carry this organism are usually totally healthy, have no problems whatever and are considered simply to be carriers of the organism."

Some important facts:
*It is often misdiagnosed as a spider bite
*Symptoms may include redness, warmth, swelling, pus, skin tenderness, pimples, boils, or blisters.
*MRSA-infected skin lesions (sores) can change from skin or surface irritations to abcesses or serious skin infections)
*If left untreated, it can infect blood and bones.
*The number of deaths from MRSA have doubled in the last few years.

My doctor explained that there was a rash of outbreaks a few years ago, and most were mis-diagnosed as a spider bite and treated as so, so people died. Then, the Center for Disease Conrol in Atlanta began reseraching it and sent an urgent letter to all physicians urging them to culture the pus and NEVER assume it was a spider bite.

My sister actually has told us about MRSA patients she has treated in the hospital (she's in nursing school) and that these patients aren't even aloud to be touched. Of course, they caught mine early, so I should be ok. They deadened most of my arm, and made a small incision to clean out the infection. He squeezed my arm so hard to get out the infection that now it's bruised, but I know it was necessary. He put me on 2 strong antibiotics (which are safe for pregnancy) and I have another appointment tomorrow (yep, on a Sunday). He said it'll get worse before it gets better, and that it could go 50/50. This could be all he has to do, but he said it's just as likely it'll have to be cut open and packed with gauze tomorrow. However, James changed the bandage a while ago and it looks like it's pretty good. I didn't see ANY infection. It hurts like hell (he even prescribed vicodin because he said it would hurt so bad, but I haven't needed it and wouldn't take it anyway despite it being ok for the baby). I called my OBGYN on call for mine and told him what's going on and he said the dr. who treated me at the clinic is wonderful and did the right thing. Oh, and strangely enough, since becoming pregnant, I am now allergic to band-aids, so the area around the infection is red and bumpy. My darling sister got me some gauze and tape I can use.

I stopped by my school yesterday afternoon after my appt to update them and get my things, and I was in tears thinking about the baby. I've never cried at work before. I was just so scared. The dr. told me not to worry about the affects of medicine on the baby because if I didn't take it, the infection WOULD go to my blood and hurt her. My heart broke thinking about the baby. It made me realize how much I love her already. I am getting teary thinking about her now. I would die for this baby and I've never even seen her. I can't imagine how much more powerful that feeling will be once I've seen her little face.

I am trying to rest and NOT freak out, because I'll be fine. Although it's not umcommon for this to become life-threatening, it sounds like that only happens to people who don't catch it. I didn't realize how serious this little bump really was! I know staph can be dangerous, but still . . .

I am taking it easy this weekend. As my friend Lisa said last night, my body is not only trying to fight a bad infection often resistant to normal medications, but it's also growing a baby. And I really haven't been feeling so hot lately anyway. The doc even said maybe no work Tuesday (I'm off Monday), but I'm hoping I can go. I acutally have a gestational diabetes test scheduled for Monday morning, so I guess I'll see what the doctor says about me keeping that appointment tomorrow.

I felt God's peace yesterday as I cried and worried, but I could still use your prayers. I need to be 100% so I can finish growing a baby!

Edited to add: this is contracted at schools (another reason NOT to stay until March 31). Here is a good article from the BBC if you are interested.