Teatopia

Happy 5 Years to Us!

Today is our fifth anniversary. It's hard to believe it's been five whole years since I walked down the aisle. Time flies when you're having fun!

I love you, James!

I'm so thankful for you and this amazing little girl we created together!

Men Really Are From Mars

Why is it that men can have some very minor ailment, and we have to hear about it non-stop, but we can be puking our guts out and still have to cook dinner, watch the baby, and keep the household going? No, I am not puking. Besides being practically bald, I'm feeling pretty ok. But my husband keeps showing me his sunburns from working in the yard, and I'm expected to sympathize with him. Tell him it looks really bad, that I'm sorry, and suggest something to put on it.

Last night, James asked me to proof-read a paper for grad school because my degree is in English and I'm supposed to be good with that kind of thing. Yes, you're totally laughing now because you know I have typos all the time. In fact, I just typed typo wrong and had to fix it and I often word things akwardly because I'm hurrying. Anyway, when I looked at the computer screen to read his paper, I couldn't see. My eyes got all blurry from wearing my darn contacts too long, and it hurt to try to focus. There were these strange shapes of darkess. When I closed my eyes, they were still there. I told him I thought I was going blind, and he asked me what I thought of his paper. Ha! It's not that he's not sympathetic and sweet, he just doesn't even listen sometimes. I think this is true of many men, and in a way, it's so absurd that it's funny.

I love my husband, but I'm rarely allowed to be sick. I can't be. He wouldn't know what to do without me. It was always like that for my mom too. And it's not that he won't take care of me. The poor guy cleaned up my puke the first week we were married. I contracted some odd disease type something in the Mexican jungle on our honeymoom and threw up a large peanut butter milkshake from Sonic all over the floor. He got a gold star for that one. I would've given him something better, but I was just too sick. But it was easier then. I hadn't established myself as the fallback person in the house. For the most part, I'm the fallback person now. Especially when you become a mom, because then, you're THE MOM. You take care of everyone. Isn't that so true?

Consolation

Tonight, on my pillow, a card saying . . .

"I know you feel like you've lost yourself. Remember, I'm always here to find you. Thank you for 4 wonderful years of marriage"

I needed that. Sorry I can't stick around. It's our anniversary and Olivia is almost asleep. A movie, cheesecake, and my hubby's arms are waiting for me . . .

The Olivia pics will have to wait until tomorrow.

Date Night

Last night, James and I went out without the baby. We left her with my parents, who were more than happy to have baby girl all to themselves for a few hours. Although the prospect of a real date sounded wonderful, I have been kinda dreading leaving my baby. I've never been away from her really. I pumped a big bottle of milk (she's been so hungry lately!) and dropped her off with my parents. It was hard to say goodbye and James finally had to drag me out to the car.

First, we went out for Thai food where we talked about Olivia most of the time: how we want to parent her, what she'll be like when she's older, what relatives we think will be bad influences on her (we came up with several), and about her education. We also talked about how cute she is and how much we love her.

Next, we went to my favorite store, Target, to buy toiletries, but ended up shopping for baby girl. We bought her "Bambi" and "Lady and the Tramp" on DVD since they only come out every 9 years or something. We also bought her some clothes, wipes, and other supplies.

It's funny that most of our evening revolved around out daughter, even though she wasn't there. The one thing we did for us was stop by Starbucks for Iced Chai Lattes. I felt like an obsessive mommy thinking about her all the time. I trust my mom as much as I trust myself, but yet I missed her. The only thing that went wrong was that they had problems feeding her, and it wasn't their fault. I purchased some newborn bottles for when I have to leave her with someone, but nothing was coming out of the nipple. Finally, my dad had to poke a small hole in it with a sterilized needle and then Olivia was happy. When my parents called though to ask about it, I could hear my baby screaming and I freaked out. I feel so guilty for leaving a defective bottle. I tested the other nipples in the set, and only half of them seem to work. The others come out too slowly or not at all, so she cries. Is it bad to poke small holes in them?

Maybe in a couple weeks, we'll go out alone again. I know I'll get more used to leaving her. Next time, I'll make sure the bottle is ok though!

Bye Bye, Sweetheart

This morning, bright and early at 5:45 am, I droppped James off at the office to meet his co-workers. Shortly after, they left for Orlando. Each year, James attends a big convention where companies all over the country get together to promote their products and ideas. James is a software enginner and he designs military training programs for the Department of Defense. All of the companies at this convention are somehow connected to the military. It's pretty different from his job in Maryland working with robots. I'm just glad he doesn't have to travel as much with this job. When we were dating, he'd sometimes go to Japan for a month or two, now it's only a week or two out of the year. However, it seems to be hitting me harder this time. Blame it on the hormones, but I feel sad. I suddenly feel ridiculously lonely. I am wondering what I'm going to do without James until next Friday. I'm also sad that I have to go back to work tomorrow after 5 days off.

I should be doing something productive today, but I've been pretty lazy and restless. I've been watching the Food Network most of the day, causing me to eat way more than either me or the baby needs! (It's about time I got really hungry though!) Now I think it's time I got off my butt and did something productive!

Yet Another Reason

Reason #738 why James and I are meant to be . . .

Much to our surprise, it turns out that James also is Rh negative. Thanks, honey. No Rhogam shots for me. Yippeee!

James the Great

Have I said lately how much I love my husband? Lately he has meant even more to me than ever before. I truly believe we are meant to be together and I cannot wait to see him holding our child. He e-mails me almost every day at work with messages like "how are my babies?" and "I love you both." Both . . . I suppose in a way we are already two people, although one is currently the size of a raspberry and has no idea how much its mommy and daddy love it already.

I have been wondering how this child will change my marriage. This baby will be the center or our universe-- the center of our marriage. The idea that I am carrying part of James inside me is more precious than anything I have ever experienced. He is inside me all day-- a part of this man I love so dearly. Women are so blessed. Men never experience anything this powerful.

I'm worried that I haven't thanked God enough for this miracle. We are so blessed. Thank you God for allowing me to experience this-- the good, the bad, and the ugly. (The ugly being my sagging, painful boobs, which are too big for their own good. I was a D cup prior to gaining like a pound more on each side. Ok, I've digressed. Enough about my boobs). Thank you God for blessing me with conception in Africa as I had dreamed. It was almost too easy. And most of all, thank you God for allowing me to experience this with such a wonderful man. I cherish him.