Teatopia

It's Really Over

I was really disappointed to hear last night that Jon & Kate Gosselin filed for divorce. I've been watching their show fairly regularly since it first aired and feel like I know them as a family. Even Olivia enjoys watching the kids. I actually found myself teary-eyed as I watched last night. Divorce is always sad, but in this case where 8 kids are concerned, it seems especially sad. The fact that the media is having a field day isn't good for the kids, either.

It makes me feel sad when I see people trashing them. I don't know Jon or Kate personally, so I don't feel right playing the blame game like I've seen on a few blogs and message boards. I know there's a lot of bad press out there about their choice to film their kids, but at the end of the day, regardless of what anyone thinks about them, they are a real family and my heart aches for all of them. It's going to be tough on those kids, as it is on any kid who experiences divorce and the whole thing just makes me feel sad. I was really hoping they'd work it out.

Tuesday Talk

That couple is not going to buy my car. :-( They said their loan came through but that they can't afford the monthly payments, so, it looks like we won't be getting a new car just yet. We were hoping to take advantage of Nissan's big sale right now, but I think it'll end before my car is sold. A lesson in patience, I suppose.

Tonight we went to Best_Buy and I talked to the manager about my terrible customer service last week and I walked out with a $20 gift card. Actually, I walked out with "The Tale of Despereaux" for Olivia. She was so excited. If you haven't seen it, it's a really cute movie! This Saturday, Aflac is having a private showing of "Up" since they sponsored the movie, so we'll be going to see that this coming weekend. My parents will have some rare one-on-one time with Liam. My poor parents. He is a ball of energy!

I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day. We were going to have a picnic at our church since they have a great pavillion and playground.(I just typed diaper instead of pavillion because I was thinking about washing diapers tonight. What a mom I am.) Anyway, James and I ended up cooking for my family. I made BBQ pork sandwiches after cooking the BBQ all day in the crockpot. We also had corn on the cob, deviled eggs, pasta salad, and orange cream fruit salad. Lots of carbs and oh so yummy.

This has nothing much to do with anything else, but our fourth bedroom is an office/guest room combo, but we're thinking of getting rid of the guest bed since we really don't have too many guests and turning it into a playroom with a compueter desk. Having both a girl and a boy, we'd need a gender neutral playroom. I really love the shelves on the left to organize toys and books:

I suspect the large task of converting the 4th bedroom will begin sometime AFTER I'm able to get more than 3 hours of consecutive sleep at a time!

Mama Cloth Winners!!!

Before I announce the winners, I wanted to answer a couple questions I received in my comments on that post.

GFF asked, "Do you have a vendor you would recommend for the cloth liners/pads?"

Actually, I do! I've ordered from online stores before, but honestly, before I started making my own, I had the best luck with WAHMs from DiaperSwappers. This mama makes really great pads.

Christine asked, "What kind of cloth pads did you buy?"

I bought some in various sizes and materials. I think my favorite are the organic bamboo velour topped ones because they're so soft. I never realized how scratchy disposable pads felt until I tried something super soft!

And now for the winners!

I used a random number generator to choose the winners, and it picked Girl from Florida and Tricia! So, ladies, e-mail me the size you want and I'll get to work. I'll also look through fabrics and stuff and see what you'd like. :-) Oh, and I'll need your addresses too because I can't find my address book.

FOR SALE

I listed my Saturn Vue for sale this weekend, and a nice old couple came to look at it yesterday and plan to buy it tomorrow. They were soooo country. Literally from the sticks. They drove 45 minuntes to get here and they were so southern, I could hardly understand what they said. They were so cute arguing over which one of them was going to get my car. In the end, the wife agreed that her husband could drive it, but only if he cleaned her car to make it as fresh and shiny as mine. Ha! They should've seen it they day before. There were a gazillion little toys for distracting the kiddos while I drive, cracker crumbs, dried milk on the floor, stains from who knows what, but we cleaned EVERYTHING and it looks brand new. Pity it has to go, but it's time for something new. We need someting roomier than my little SUV, because really, the inside is no bigger than James's car.

We told them we wouldn't hold it since they didn't give us a down payment, but they seemed serious and I'm hoping they return tomorrow, cashier's check in hand.

We think we know what we're going to buy next, but I'll wait until we have it and post pictures then.

I've only had my Vue for a little over 3 years, but we bought it used. It's a 2003. We're not sure if we're going to buy a brand spaking new car (never had one before!) or one that's a year or so old. Either way, I'm excited.

Tell me, what do you drive and do you like it?

Meet me in Atlanta?

I'm only half kidding about this, but we have 3 free passes to the Georgia Aquarium for tonight for a semi-private tour (semi-private being only employees at James' company-- it's closed to everyone else this afternoon!) followed by dinner at the Wolfgang Puck restaurant.

Of course,if we were to meet any of you, it would have to be someone I've met before so I don't completely freak my husband out. He already thinks I'm weird enough. What cloth diapers? Natural birth? You're meeting WHO from the internet??? Mostly kidding, he always gets on board. He proudly told me the other day that he tried to talk someone at work into cloth diapering. :-)

Anyway. I hate that we have these and they'll go to waste. No one in my family can go and we've asked 6 friends of ours! I can't think of anyone else to ask!

We're really excited and Olivia is just about going out of her mind! She can't wait to see the penguins! I can't wait to see my kids' faces. Liam is a little young to really appreciate it, but he points at everything, so I'm sure he'll like seeing the big fish swim by!

Anyway, I've got to get the kids ready to go. I'm swinging by Amanda's shower to give her my homemade gift basket and drop off some treats, and then it's back home to head to Atlanta!

Hope you all are having a great weekend! Happy Mother's Day in advance to you mamas!

Code of ethics?

During my first year teaching, a girl-- we'll call her Stephanie-- transferred into my class mid-year. Her transcript showed poor grades and a history of being in trouble, but because my philosophy was to be especially kind to the troubled kids (b/c they need it the most), I did just that and quickly developed a close relationship with Stephanie. That wasn't always the case with other rough kids, but she seemed to latch on me me and worked harder for me than I expected. She always told me about problems at home, and there were many, and often said that she didn't do so well in her other classes but that she loved mine and loved me.

Although Stephanie and I were close while I was teaching, she still seemed needy, and sadly, she seemed like the type of girl who would probably get into some trouble later.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was sitting in my midwife's office (which is housed in an OBGYN practice) and I heard someone calling my name, Mrs. Chambers. I turned around and there sat Stephanie with her mom. I instantly knew. She was pregnant. She wasn't showing, but because of the type of life she had and the fact that she'd sought the attention of boys even in middle school, I just new. Sure enough, she was. She's 16 now, and I doubt she has a clue what she's in for. It's not like she has good parenting role models at home. We talked for a bit, and I was still there when she returned after a vaginal ultrasound. Instead of being thrilled to have seen her baby, she was upset about the "vilation" of the camera. In other words, she's soooo not ready for this. I wanted to ask her who the father was, and offer advice, but I didn't want to overstep any boundaries. So, I gave her my number and begged her to call me.

And she did, 2 hours later, only I wasn't home and she didn't leave her number, so I have to wait until she calls again, and I know she will. Instead of Mrs. Chambers, I wrote "Hannah" and my number on the paper I gave to her. I haven't been her teacher for 4 years and we're going to be fellow mothers for goodness sake, so I figure there's no harm in her using my first name, although I have to admit it felt odd to hear her message for "Hannah."

I think I've opened myself up for a relationship with her again. By giving her my number, and knowing her insecurities, that's what will happen, but I think it might be a good thing. Not to sound conceited, but she could use a good role model and see how a loving mother parents. Seeing her yesterday felt like we'd never been apart. I saw the fear on her face and my heart just about spilled over when I hugged her yesterday. I'm just not sure how far to take this as her former teacher.

I'd love to have her over, talk to her about her situation and what she plans to do. To just talk to her about being a mommy. Would that be appropriate? I'm not even sure . . .

What do you think?

The "I'm so tired it's amazing I can function much less blog" entry

I am so tired today. I feel like a zombie. My eyes are so dry that I may not even bother with contacts, and I never wear glasses during the day. Liam has started falling back into his old sleep habits. I was so happy he was down to waking up once or twice a night, and last night he was up four times. He did pretty well while James was gone, and then when James got back, he did extremely well for a few nights, then got sick (or the fever could've been from teething, either way) and now has been up a lot the last several nights.

We had a busy weekend, too. We've been trying to make an effort to do more family things together. On Friday, my grandma took us to dinner at Ruby Tuesday and then on Saturday morning, we drove to a city in Alabama about 40 mins away to go to lunch and the World Market. Stef introduced me to the World Market when she lived here and we went a couple times to Atlanta together. It's one of the neatest stores.

I was beyond excited to find these:

I became addicted to these when I was attending a semester at Cambridge in England. I walked so much, that I could afford to eat these often. :-) A few summers ago, when we were stuck in South Africa because of the strike and were then diverted to London, I searched the London airport for these and was unsuccessful. It's been years since I've had one, and then suddenly, at the World Market, there they were!

The road trip was interesting. Olivia drank so much that we kept having to stop. When we stopped at Starbucks, Olivia said, "Mmmmm.... smells like caffeine" and yes it did and Mommy needed some. I actually got coffee at two different Starbucks. The second one had no working lights in the bathrooms, so I had to hold Olivia over the potty while also holding my cell phone so we'd have some light. I could not see a blasted thing. We also had to stop on the side of the road for her to tinkle because she said she was going to wet her pants and we couldn't find anywhere to stop on the country roads. James wasn't thrilled with the idea, but I remember my parents stopping on the side of the road when we were really little if there wasn't anywhere else to go. To me, it was no big deal. No one saw anything. At least she didn't pee on my shoe. I think I remember my sister doing that to my mom when we were little. :-)

When we got home, we met family for dinner at TGI Fridays. We had a coupon to skip to the front of the line, royally ticking some other people off in the process. We also had one for a free meal. Gotta love coupons! When we got home, James and I ended up arguing about housework because I told him he doesn't help enough. I was so annoyed at him, but we ended up making up after the kids were in bed and actually had one of the best times together we'd had in ages, which reminds me, I need to change the sheets in the guest room since we had a toddler in our bed. *giggle*

Speaking of which, I've had so many friends and family members ask why Olivia still sleeps with us. The truth is, I know it's going to be a chore to get her out, and while we're up with Liam several times a night, it's just too much to have 2 sleeping issues right now. I know they'll end up waking each other up and frankly, I'm so tired, I can't deal with it. My kids don't nap at the same time, so I never can catch one myself and James has a very technical job and needs to be awake enough to do it. No one wants to look like a slacker with the economy the way it is. We've agree that when Liam in consistantl sleeping for a few weeks, we'll start on Olivia. We were actually planning on starting to move Olivia in her room when James came home. That was the plan, and then he got a fever and runny nose/congestion and started waking sometimes hourly again.

My little man is wearing me out, too. He's become such a BOY. Maybe it's just because he's a different baby, but I think I may be seeing clear gender differences. He's into everything and climbs and falls and sticks his head under the bath water and breaks things, and messes up Olivia's stuff and nothing phazes him. Oddly enough though, he's much more attached to me. If he doesn't see me for even a second he yells, "mamamamama!!!!" He also seems more attached to nursing. Since he's been sick, he's pretty much thrown baby food to the wind and has wanted to nurse. I can see an increase in my milk because of it.

Over the weekend, I turned my back for a second, and he got up on the couch by himself. Olivia never tried anything like that at 9 months. She was more verbal and interested in fine motor activities. Yesterday, I felt like the worst mother ever because I was cleaning out clothes in the kids' closets, and I thought Liam was playing with Olivia in her room. I checked on them every couple mins and Olivia is great at "telling on" Liam. Well, Olivia came running in and announced the Liam was splashing in the toilet and messing up the toilet paper. He was in the bathroom for maybe 2 mins, and this was what I found. He actually started waving to me when I walked in. You can kind of tell in the picture. He looked so pleased with himself.

Olivia seems even more delighted with him now that he's more mobile and much funnier. I feel kind of sad for him though, being the little brother and all. I guess this is what happens when you have a big sister:

He's a trooper though, isn't he? He's not going to allow her to put bows in his hair for long. Speaking of hair, I am obsessed with my daughter's.

I think the curls are here to stay since James has curly hair. She doesn't just have baby curls either, they are super tight and bouncy even when her hair is wet. Liam's is getting the same way. He was that thick curly hair like James and Justin Timberlake.

Well, I'm off to sew. Liam won't nap much longer and I want to try and finish the Robeez-stly shoes I'm attempting. I'll pictures if they aren't a complete train wreck. allow Olivia to "style" my hair.

a delicate situation here . . .

Well, it seems I've come out of my shell a little. I'll be sharing other things I'm passionate about in my next several posts. In the meantime, I have a question.

This is kind of a delicate situation. I have a good friend whose son has been suspended for 2 weeks because he brought a knife to school after another student asked him to so she could kill someone in their class. He's 5 years old, and my friend, we'll call her Stacey, believes he didn't know any better. That may be the case, but I am certain Olivia would come and tell me if someone asked her to bring them a knife because they wanted to kill someone. I honestly believe she'd be scared. She knows she can't touch knives. We don't even let her use plastic knives at restaurants because she tries to lick food off of them and they could cut her tongue.

What my friend chooses to do with her son is her business, but I'm wondering if I should worry about Olivia playing with him? Would you be concerned about his judgement? I love Stacey dearly, but I'm wondering if maybe she's being a little naive about the situation.

I actually had a friend in high school who was nice, but slightly imbalanced. I felt sorry for her and continued to hang out with her, and then she ended up pulling a knife on another friend of ours. I was shocked! Needless to say, I never saw her again. Not that I think Stacey's son is like that, but I want to protect Olivia and not take any chances.

I don't feel comfortable talking to Stacey about it because she honestly believes he was clueless and she seems defensive about it, as I would be about my child I'm sure.

What would you do in this situation? I'm always there when Olivia plays with this boy, but sometimes they go in another room to play with other kids and I'm just not sure how I feel.

on my own

James left for Vegas this morning. James has traveled several times since we've been married, and when we were dating, he was gone traveling for work around Asia almost as much as he was home. When we first got together, he went to Japan for nearly a month. We're kind of used to it, but it seemed more sad this time, probably because of the kids. It's been nearly a year since the last time he was gone, and Olivia was more sad this time, and also it was James's first time leaving Liam.

I applaud military families who have to say goodbye for really long periods of time. It sounds like something I could never handle well, but I guess people do because they have to keep it together.

I have some fun stuff planned for the week to help pass the time:

-- Indian take out!!! James's close friend is Indian and his wife is constantly making us yummy food, and since having her cooking, James just can't eat the food from our local place. He says it just doesn't compare. While I agree with him, her style is difference than the nice rich (and probably very fattening) curries I love from the restaurant.

-- Staying at my parents. We're going to stay there at least one night just for fun! We have to bring our crazy dogs but that's ok.

-- Reading. James can't sleep when I've got the light on and want to read. Even my booklight bothers him sometimes, so hopefully I can finish a book or 2 while he's gone. Now that Liam is sleeping better, I can afford to stay up a little later.

-- Sewing. Gotta get to work on Olivia and Liam's matching Easter outfits for our church's Easter Egg Hunt. First though I've got to pick a fabric that works for both of them. I was thinking something with carrots.

I hope James has fun! He's going to see the Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam. I wish I was going with him, but I think we made the right choice. Besides, we have out family trip to gorgeous Helen, GA (a little German town in the mountains) for a La Leche League conference. Although some of the classes are geared more towards mothers (James can take he kids to do stuff while I attend some of the stuff) we are both looking forward to hearing Dr. Sears talking about vaccines. There's also another session on gentle parenting and another on the husband/wife relationship. Although we have a good marriage, we can be quick to snap at each other sometimes, especially when we're sleep-deprived as we have been with Liam, so hopefully the communication workshop will help. :-)

I'm really excited!

It's picture time!

I have to catch up on some pictures. First, I wanted to show you the pants I made. It took me forever to get working patterns for each kid, but once I figured out one that worked, things went pretty fast.

The ones on the left are Olivia's. I've made her two pairs but the other ones are on her right now. The ones on the right are Liam's.

Here's an action shot of Liam in his froggy pants. You can't see my hair really because it's pulled back. I have highlights that aren't showing with my hair pulled straight back, so I'll have to take another picture when my hair looks half decent. :-)

We went out the night before Valentines for our date, but on the actual holiday, I cooked dinner for my grandma and sister. :-)

Ina Garten's Chicken Stew with biscuits. Yummy!

Avocado and tomato salad:

Dinner was yummy, but dessert was my favorite. I made the amazing Nigella Lawson's Chocolate Cheesecake and added my own topping.

Tonight I'm hoping to make a trip to the fabric store. I actually went earlier today with my friend Amanda, but I had to leave to head to Liam's appt before I could get anything cut. I found the cutest sushi print fabric. I don't even like sushi that much, but the print is so cute and I love asian stuff.

Hives and fabric

I made pants!!! My awesome friend Katy showed me how and I already made another pair this morning. Action shots to come when Liam wakes up and can be my model. Katy didn't get to show me how to make Olivia's dress because it was just too tough with 4 kids at my house yesterday, and the most difficult of them was my Liam. :-( He woke up yesterday covered in hives and was cutting teeth so he was not a happy guy yesterday. As far as the hives go, we figured out he was a berry allergy. Why do my kids have allergies? I breastfeed and I started solids later than average with both (which reduces their risk of allergies). I know nursing only reduces the chances of them, but I was hopful Liam wouldn't have any like Olivia did. Luckily, she outgrew hers, so hopefully Liam will, too.

Olivia had so much fun playing with Katy's son. He's 3 and such a sweet little boy. He kept calling Olivia "Belle" because as he put it, "she has so much princess stuff" and he was getting confused. He'd say, "I want Belle to come with me to do ......" and his mom would say, "Honey, her name is Olivia, not Belle." Too cute!!

Oh, and thank you so much for your kind comments about my diapers. I've thought about maybe trying to start a little WAHM business (work-at-home-mom) but I want to perfect them first. My stitches could be prettier. I've only been sewing a few weeks, so I want to try to learn more and maybe offer other diapering accessories if I can learn how to make wetbags (to put soiled diapers in on the go) and cloth wipes and stuff. A girl in my moms' group wants to hire me to make diapers, but I'm a little nervous about saying yes. She's seen mine in person, so she knows they aren't perfect, but she loved them and wants me to make several for her. I have no idea what to charge, so I guess I'm going to have to think about it. What would you charge? Per diaper, materials cost me between $5-7 dollars, so if I charge $10, I won't be making that much. I thought about charging her $50 for and trying to find a deal on the fabric. Still not sure though. What do you think?

I need to get more fabric for stuff for the kids, but I am overwhelmed with choices.

I definitely want to use this for a jumper for Olivia. I think a red shirt would look really cute under this. She loves the show "Olivia" because she loves pigs and also, because they share the same name.

I'm a little nervous about using something that has to go a certain direction, as in straight across or stripes that have to be very vertical. I've only been sewing a few weeks and I don't know if I'm good enough to keep the fabric straight. With certain patterns on fabric, you can't tell if it's slanted a little.

I think this is cute for Liam's pants. I love Veggie Tales for their values they teach and also how darn cute those little veggies are.

OK, time to get ready to go. We're going to lunch with my mom and to run some errands. Then I'm making potstickers with a recipe I saw on the Food Network. Yummy. :-)

Sleep and Sewing

Liam did not have a good night last night. I know it's bound to happen, but I hate these set backs. I feel like it's all a big tease when he has a few good nights and then a really bad one. I am so eager to proceed with phase 2 of the "get the kids out of our room" plan and when he has these awful nights, it just means more waiting. He's still not enough of a consistently good sleeper for me to start the process of moving Olivia out. I can't go back and forth all night with both kids and I'm not sure how much longer James can hold out doing most of the work with Liam.

I've gotta hand it to my hubby though who has managed to go solo with night duty and worked long days and the office while doing another project on the side. He's my hero. Love you, James! And I have to admit, Liam is definitely better overall than he was a few weeks ago.

I've also been spolied with better sleep for a while and am not sure I can go back to the up-every-hour nights if Liam doesn't get permanently better. I cringe thinking about it.

Ona creative note, I've been sewing diapers. Lots and lots of diapers. It's become a bit of an obsession actually. While James praises my work, he reminded me the other day that we only have one child in diapers and that perhaps I should try to learn to make something else. I exhausted the whole baby blanket thing already, so tomorrow, my talented friend Katy is teaching me how to make dresses for Olivia and pants for Liam!!! I am a pretty fast learner, and while I can't follow a pattern to save my life, is someone shows mne how to do something, I'll remember it forever.

I'm so psyched. Katy is the friend who gave me the best cut and color I've ever had. It's nice to have talented friends. :-)

Here are the diapers I've made so far:

I can't believe I'm so excited about something made to poop in.

I'll post pictures tomorrow of the clothes I hopefully will be able to make with Katy. :-)

This is me being a good blogger

Now looky who is blogging again the VERY next day? I feel like a new woman because guess what people??

I HAVE SLEPT!!!

(This is where the trumpets sounds and "Hallelujiah" begins to play)

On the down side, I haven't slept with my husband in weeks-- and by slept I mean shared a bed. To lessen Liam's dependence on me and my ta-ta's, James has been sleeping in the guest room next to Liam's room and only bringing him to me when he's actually hungry (once or twice a night) and getting him back to sleep the rest of the times. Except for a few days when Liam cut 4 teeth at once (that was utter hell), he's been only waking up about twice a night, down from 5-7 times a night. I miss James, but it's so freaking nice to sleep for once! I think I've mentioned it before, but the reason James sleeps near Liam is because we have a split plan, so our master br is on the complete other side of the house across from where you'd enter the garage. Liam's room is the far left window.

You can get a little tour of our house here. You can see the front here:

It's not like our house is super big or anything, it's just hard to walk across the house several times a night when you're dead tired and tripping over stuff. It's nice that James is back there while Liam is learning to sleep better. Hopefully if the pattern continues, James will return to our room and Liam will only wake up to nurse a couple times a night, totally do-able. Then it's time for Olivia to move to her room. I think she'll do ok. I've talked a lot about it to her, so we'll see soon how it works out. I think it's been nice to spend time with Olivia at night lately before she goes to her own room. James and Liam are at the other end of the house, and it's just been Olivia and I in the master br for the past couple weeks. I feel like I'm getting my fill.

I've been thinking a lot lately about whether or not I want more kids. It's something we talk about sometimes, but obviously don't have to decide now. Neither of my kids have been good sleeper. I mean, Liam has napped a total of 15 minutes today! I don't know if I can do this again. But then today, my friend pregnant friend Amanda was over, and I felt her baby kick and for some reason, it made me tear up. I want that experience again, but there are so many reasons to stick with just 2. We have 4 bedrooms, but it's nice for James to have an office since he does freelance stuff, and it's also nice for our kids to have their own rooms, but I don't want that to be the deciding factor. The sleep thing is the biggest factor for me I think. I honestly believe James would go along with whatever I decided.

I'm curious, how many kids do you want? How many do you have? What factors play into your decision? I'm hoping God will lead us one direction or the other.

On another note, I'm booking our trip for the La Leche League conference in May. It's in a gorgeouos Georgia town called Helen. My hubby is so awesome. He told me he'd wear a shirt that said "sexy Dad's change cloth diapers" if I wanted him to. I'm such a nut for even considering ordering such a thing. I think I might go with an "awesome Daddy" shirt instead since it's a family weekend. I haven't decided on Liam's yet. Do you think this onesie is inappropriate? We're going to a BFing conference, but still. I'm pretty conservative, so I'm not sure.

This is the other option.

Which do you like better?

OK, time for dinner. Gotta hurry and get the kids ready for bed so I can watch American Idol. I like the sexy black haired rocker guy who is obviously not straight. But hey, I can look, right?

And the winners of the book give-away are . . .

**I promise to keep up with my blogging. We've made SERIOUS changes at our house and Liam is sleeping much better (fingers crossed) and I'm actually getting some sleep and promise to blog regularly. Hang in here with me, please**

Amy
Connie
Kim
Ani
Jamie

I used a random number generator site to choose them, so congrats ladies!!! Please e-mail me with you info using my e-mail address on the side bar. This book will arrive just in time for Women's History Month. Hope you like it. I'm about to start reading my copy and I'm really psyched. I love women's studies!

Oh, and in case you forgot what the book is (because I've been a blogging slacker) here it is again:

I never did share my story. I got mine at the beach while on a family reunion vacation. I was 11 and it ruined my whole trip. I remember crying in the bathroom as my mom and grandma tried to teach me to insert an OB tampon. Nice visual, eh? I think the whole situation traumatized me. I knew all about periods, but for some reason, I was really upset to get it. I always had a heavy flow until I had my babies, and that was hard for a newly 11 year old to deal with. I remember bleeding through my clothes while still in elementary school. :-(

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Saturday was warm, around 70 degrees. I wore short sleeves and flip flops.

Sunday morning (yesterday), we woke up to this . . .

Snow in these parts is RARE. We got a small amount of snow 7 years ago when we first moved to Georgia, then we had a few flurries last year one morning, so this was really exciting.

The weatherman forcasted possible snow, but usually no one pays attention because it never happens. My mom told Olivia that it might snow, and she said she wanted to make a Frosty. Not wanting to get her hopes up, I told her I didn't know if it would really snow, and if it did, we might not have enough to make a Frosty. Well, I was wrong. We made lots of Frostys!!! This was one we made at my parents' house in the morning.

It was snowing fairly hard when we went to my parents' in the morning. We were bad and skipped church because it never snows here and we wanted time to play in case it stopped before we would've gotten home from church. While we were at my parent's, it started snowing much, much harder and sticking to the roads a little, so we decided to head home. My mom came with us and we planned for my dad to get her later in his 4 wheel drive. My sister was at my parents' too so I rode with her back to my house.

Well, James is smart and took the highway home to our house, but my sister and I took country roads and almost didn't make it home. The roads were so snowy and hilly and people were stopped along the way-- some stuck on ditches, others too scared to drive more and skidding. We went up one hill and we were just praying and willing the car to keep going. It was scary!!! I hadn't been driving long (only a few yers) when we moved here and I never really drove in the snow in Maryland.

Olivia had so much fun! Liam didn't fuss at all out in the cold. I think he mostly was interested in watching his sister. :-)

My parents' had a less snow even though they only live 12 minutes away.

I haven't forgotten the book give-away, and I have pics of the chocolate mousse cheesecake I made, too. Stay tuned!

Where have I been?

Hmmm.... I'm not even sure. Somewhere between my extreme sleep deprivation and my new found love of sewing, I think I've become slightly delirious. :-)

I need to announce the winners of the book give-away, but first, here is an update.

What's been going on with me:

-- I turned 28. It was horribly depressing. I don't even know why since I have another whole year of being in my 20's after this one, but the closer I get to 30, the more it freaks me out. I'm not a superficial person who is scared to look old or anything, it's just that my life seems like it's flying by, and I feel like I'm missing things as I go along.

-- I got a rockin hair cut. I promise to show you, but right now I have mascara smeared under my eyes from steaming veggies for dinner and my hair is in a yucky knot. I cut several inches off, which was a bold move for me. I usually don't like change. My friend K actually came to my house to do it (she's a master stylist) and it only cost me 30 bucks for a new 'do and highlights!

-- I think Liam is going to be an early talker too. I wasn't expecting this. He repeats sounds constantly. He says "buh" when he has his ball and he readily calls "mama" and "dada" and knows who we are. He even says "boo" for "boof" which is what we call nursing. Olivia made it up and I had to use it again because I love it. :-) He's already 8 months old and I can't believe how fast it's gone. I never saw myself as a mom of a boy, but he's a joy and I don't know why I was so worried.

-- I don't EVER want this age to end where Olivia is now. She's hilarious. Last night she made Liam a card all on her own, but she drew a big fat woman (her words) with a big body and a tiny head and arms and legs sticking out. She was showing James and I, and I jokingly asked her, "Why did you draw a fat woman for Liam? Is that supposed to be mommy?" She looked at my kinda funny and said, "No mommy. You're not fat. It's Daddy!" We both cracked up. Actually, I cracked up but James only started laughing after he saw that she was kidding. :-)

-- Liam decided a few days ago that he wants solids, and LOTS of them! He screams at every meal now because he wants our food. I was beginning to think I'd be exclusively nursing a kindergartner!

-- I am loving American Idol. I'm thrilled that drama queen Tatiana is gone. She couldn't even be happy for anyone else when all the other contestants were gracious for the opportunity. I love Danny Gokey and I really hope he makes it all the way! Of course, I haven't heard all the contestants yet, but so far, he's my favorite.

Ok, contest results tomorrow, but in the meantime, check this out. I gave Liam a taste of frozen yogurt today (just a little) and he hated the cold but kept going back for more. It's funny how different it is with a 2nd child because I never let Olivia have anything besides pure fruits and veggies for a long time. Oh, and the voice is my sister's and I think the crazy laugh is mine. :-)

And here's one of Olivia rocking out and playing the drums November I think it was. She loves making up songs. Listen how she says "dolly." She doesn't say it quite like that now, but it was so cute when she did. My mom is the one talking in this and I think I can be heard yelling "yay!" :-)

The story of James and the lying, deaf girl who hit him and her dishonest family

** If you already read this, I apologize if it was confusing. For some reason, some of the paragraphs were out of order and I'm not sure how it happened. **

I figured I'd tell you more about why James's car was in the shop because it's been a big pain in the butt. The accident happened a few weeks ago, but we've had trouble getting the correct information from the girl up until now so that we could get her insurance (or rather her parents' since she had no license) to foot the bill.

Anway, it wasn't a major collision by any means. It happened in the parking lot at Starbucks. I ran in to grab a drink (yay for gift cards from Christmas!!) and when I came out, I could see James and a girl looking at their cars and I knew there had been a fender bender. My first thought was whether or not the kids were ok and not too scared (they were fine) and then I thought not such a nice thought-- that I hoped she had hit James and not the other way around so our insurance wouldn't go up. When I got closer, I saw there was little damage and James explained that she had backed up into the corner of his car. He kept beeping at her, seeing that she was going to hit him, but she kept right on going. She told us she didn't hear him because she was deaf, but she had a friend with her who I guess didn't hear it either (although she was not deaf).

When she couldn't provide all the right info right off the bat, we thought it was because she was a new driver and she was scared. She cried a lot and we had trouble communicating, so I didn't chalk any of it up to dishonesty. We put her friend on the phone with our insurance co. so she could interpret for her friend. Our insurance co. got all the info and said we were good to go. We didn't call the police because it happened on private property and there isn't much they can do unless there's a problem, which there wasn't. I looked at some of her paperwork and jotted down some stuff, including a man's name and address that was on her registration, which would later be key.

When we went to contact her insurance co. the next day, we realized I hadn't written down the name of her insurance co. and our company hadn't gotten it either. What are the chances??? So we tried to call the girl a million times on her cell (which was usually answered by a clueless friend or rude boyfriend since the girl couldn't answer it herself). We also tried to call her at home and always got some kid who hung up on us. Either that, or they didn't answer. Our insurance co couldn't get ahold of either her or her parents. Finally, I called from another number asked the child for her mom and only used my first name and I got right through. I told the mom I needed the name of the insurance co. and even though she hadn't even known about the accident-- you think she would've been mad-- she tried to give me new information, which was different from what the girl had. She was seemingly cooperative, but when I asked her about the man's name on some of the papers (who we'd identified as the grandfather through People Search), the mom acted weird and told us it wasn't his car. Well, the new info. didn't check out either. James managed to get the girl and her friend on her cell and her friend admitted that the girl didn't have a license and that's why they were giving us the run-around. Of course, James is calmly talking to her and asking questions, but I wasn't so happy. I picked up the phone and started yelling, "TOO BAD IF YOU DON'T HAVE A LICENSE. HOW IS THAT OUR PROBLEM? YOU'D BETTER GIVE US THE INFO NOW! WE'RE NOT GOING TO GET SCREWED HERE!" James told her we were going to call the police and report her, and then we decided to call the grandpa. We found out the car was legally his and he knew nothing about any of this. He was so nice and apologetic and he got us in touch with his son (the girl's father) who gave us yet more insurance information and promised to get to the bottom of it.

We were tired of getting jerked around, and we weren't sure what info was correct and we were sick and tired of calling around to insurance companies with the wrong information, so we called to file a police report. The cop who came over was awesome and after Olivia sang and danced for him (lol!)we told him our story and he drove on over to their house. He assured us he'd get the information out of them, and it turned out, the father was being honest with what he'd given us. Although, oddly enough, he'd told James that the "sh!t was going to hit the fan when he got home" after James first told him about the accident, but when the cop got there, he'd let his daughter go to the movies with her mom, who he was also supposedly mad at for not telling him about the accident either. Some punishemnt.

We finally were able to file a claim with her insurance company because of course, they hadn't done it. The father begged us to settle it privately, but we were so done with them by now. We told him no, that we couldn't trust them.

So that's the story. It's been a pain, but James's car is back looking shiny and new.

The gift that keeps on giving

Thank you for your input on the Vegas trip. Seems like we were pretty much all on the same page. The idea of a family vacation was tempting, but the circumstances weren't ideal. Instead, we're trying to plan a weekend getaway to Tennessee to the mountains. I'm usually a beach girl, so it should be fun to try something new. James is disappointed he'll be flying solo to Vegas, but I think he's still excited.

After Liam got sick, Olivia came down with it too, so it was a hard last week, hence my asbsence. They both still have a little cough, but that's about it.

Remember the neighbors who put a jogging stroller out by the trash? These people have a new goody out every time I drive by. I'm not one to take stuff people put out by the trash, but these people have nice trash! I'll be sad when they finally move and are done cleaning out their stuff! Last week, I scored a nice playhouse to go in the back yard. I had a heck of a time getting it down to our house. James was working late and I didn't want to wait for him to get it because I thought someone else would take it, so I dragged it, piece by piece, down the road to my house. Both kids were sleeping in the car, so I left them sleeping in the car inside the garage while I ran back and forth (I could see my car at all times). The last peice with the roof was the biggest and SUPER heavy, so I put it over my head and walked down the street with it balanced on top of my head. I must've looked like a walking house. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, but it was so worth it! We figured out later, when James put the house back together, that there was some water stuck in the roof, which was why it was sooooo heavy!

I think this is the house. The colors might be a little different, but this is pretty much the house:

Please pray for my grandma. She had a procedure done today to help with incontinence and is having another under general anesthesia on Friday. It worried me a bit at her age, so please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Well, I'm off to put on some make-up. We're going to get James's car from the shop (a deaf girl with no driver's license hit his car) and then it's off to church for Wednesday night supper. I seriously LOVE our new church!

To come this week: book give-away and it's a book you'll definitely want!!!

Viva Las Vegas!

Las Vegas seems so awesome. I have zero interest in gambling, but I think I'd love to see the lights and check out the restaurants. James is going to Vegas on business for an entire week and he'll be staying at the Venetian, which acording to the Travel Channel is beyond awesome. He really wants me and the kids to come . . .

BUT WAIT, I SAID NO!?!

I have moments of wanting to kick myself, but I think I need to stick to my gut, which is aaying that taking two babies (well, a 2 yr old and a 7 mo. old) is just plain nuts. Not to mention that James will be very busy with business stuff, leaving us to fend for ourselves all day. Then there's the hastle of actually getting there, toting along all our stuff. I wouldn't count on Vegas to be an easy place to just go and pick up diapers, so I'd need to bring lots of stuff with me: blankets, clothes, diapers, wipes, toys, snacks, travel sippy cups. Luckily all Liam's food is easy since I'm still the sole meal provider, but still. We'd also have to either drag along 2 carseats (which would be a pain to install every time we rode somewhere) or pay $$$$ to rent 2 for a week. We'd also have to pay for Olivia and me to fly. The hotel would be free, and it's a nice one. Also, some food would be free. It's do-able, but if we're going to put out that amount of money and effort, I'd rather plan a trip James can go on without having to work.

Still though, I'm bummed. Just look at the photo of where his company is paying for him to stay:

I hope I made the right choice. Part of me wants to jump at the chance, but I think being there wouldn't be at all like a vacation. It would be much more complicated than watching the kids here. Besides, while it's not as thrilling, we are all going to a La Leche League conference in gorgeous Helen, GA in May. We're also hoping to plan a little trip to the TN mountains to stay in a cabin and see some snow.

James is disappointed, but agrees it's probably best. He also knows it'll be harder on me because I'll be responsible for taking care of both kids while he's working all day. I'm not sure babies belong in Vegas. Heck, I'm not sure I belong in Vegas. Right now I'm sitting here looking very housewife-ish in my sweats and messy twist in my hair. I can't go to a fancy restaurant with spit-up on my shirt (which is inevitable) and breastfeed amongst James's colleagues.

Do you think I made a good choice?

Notes on a Thursday night

I'm waiting for James to get home. He had to work late, as he sometimes does and my mom is playing with Olivia in her room. Liam, in a rare moment, is sleeping, so I thought I'd catch up on my blogging.

We took Olivia to her first movie last week. We saw "The Tale of Desperaux" and she loved it. She was so engaged that she didn't even eat her popcorn. The guy who sold it to us was a student I taught in the 6th grade, which gave me a wake-up call as to how long I've been out of college. :-) This is my third year as a stay-at-home mom.

I just finished reading "The Heretic's Daughter" and it was great. Some parts were hard to read emotionally because of the descriptions of prison conditions during the Salam witch trials. It broke my heart to read about kids who were imprisoned, but it was fascinating and I learned a lot about those times. I'd recommend it, poarticularly if you like historical novels.

Liam is still pretty much exclusively breastfeeding. We've tried several foods, but he's just not having it. We've given him bananas (both fresh and jarred), peas, sweet potatoes, rice cereal, Gerber puffs, and avocado. He tolerated the avocade but still wasn't iinterested. The other foods though, he despises them and makes hilarious faces. He's healthy, so I'm not too worried. I think pediatricians put more emphasis on solids than they need to. I know from being in La Leche League that babies don't have to have solids at his age. Really, it's more about experimentation right now than anything. I'm going to give him a month or so and try again. He's a great nurser and it's the best food for him. It might be nice to be able to let someone else feed him, but that'll come.

Wearing his sister's bib because it's the biggest I have:

As you can see, food is not too exciting to Liam.

Well, I'm off to get Liam who's already awake and then it's early baths for the kids because Grey's is back on tonight!

Portraits, scoring stuff from the trash, and the whole Santa thing

I just had the kids' first professional pictures taken together. We did some of Olivia when she was little, but they were crappy and I always figured I'd get better shots myself for free. This time though, I wanted some great quality ones I could enlarge and I wanted the professional looking Christmas background. I also sadly realized that I don't have ANY pictures of all 4 of us and Liam is already 6 months old. Either James or I am always behind the camera so we have none with both of us and the kids. I didn't grow up in a picture taking family. We always took some on special holidays, but my parents rarely bring a camera to anything, and I've gotten into the terrible habit of not remembering mine.

Yesterday we went to a first birthday party for a friend of mine's little boy and we had a great time. Olivia even stopped playing with all the kids to come and tell me she had to poop and then she held it until we found the bathroom. She's doing so well! Anyway, my friend's house is an old but fully restored house in the historic district downtown and it was awesome! I am definitely inviting myself over again so I can really get a good look without all the people blocking stuff.

I am 95% done my Christmas shopping and I am putting off the few little things I still have to do because I hate the crowds. I used to not mind so much but it's hard to maneuver around with both kids in tow. You can pretty much forget trying to get anywhere with a double stroller the size of a dang boat because there are too many people, many of whom are too busy to notivce me and will literally let the door slam in my face. Speaking of stroller, I want to get a double stroller, but in the meantine, I scored another single (one for each of us when we take the kids out in the evening). My neighbors are moving and put there's out by the trash. It's in great shape and so I went over and took it. I think it's my first trash find! Maybe there's something to dumpster diving, who knows?

Olivia is terified of Santa still, but she's thrilled he'll be bringing stuff to the house. We're trying to make Christ the focus though, which isn't easy at this age when Santa is the main thing she sees. We've been to the Christmas program at our church though, as well as the live Nativity, and we're going to bake a birthday cake for Jesus next week that Olivia can help decorate.

I've been thinking about something a friend of my mine is doing: she's decided to tell her 3 year old that Santa isn't real, but that he's a fun character like Mickey Mouse. They still took him to see Santa, but told their son that they buy the gifts, not Santa and that Jesus is most important. I want to find a balance while still doing the whole Santa thing, but I can see my friend's point: it's easier to have Jesus be the focus when Santa isn't. What do you think about that?

Akward

It's always akward when you run into someone you don't really want to see. In this case, it was someone I used to be really good friends with, but hadn't really talked to in a couple years. The last time we talked was the night before Olivia's first birthday, when she told me she'd see me at the party and then never showed up or called to offer me an explanation.

Things had already been akward, at least on my end, because I'd learned that she'd used me as a scape goat by telling her soon-to-be ex husband that she was going places with me when she wasn't. I wasn't about to get caught up in lies associated with their messy divorce and I didn't want to wind up in court testifying to anything I knew about either of them cheating. Not showing up to Olivia's birthday was just the icing on the cake.

So when I saw her tonight, it was weird, because it's actually the second time I've run into her in the last few weeks. Part of me wonders if that's a sign I should try to call her because I always sensed I might be a positive influence in her life. That sounds conceited and I don't mean it to, I just know she's had it rough and my life is pretty normal and stable and I wonder if I might help her. I used to feel though that she brought me down sometimes. I found myself saying cuss words around her because she did, and I try not to say them.

It just makes me wonder if running into her is for a reason? I just don't want to get caught up in all that again.

Trying to stay strong

UPDATE: The dr confirmed this morning that she does in fact have another hernia on the other side. She has a surgery consultaion on 12/04 and surgery will be scheduled for a few days after that. Thank you for all your kind comments. Ther really mean a lot to me.

Things could always be worse. That's what I keep telling myself. It makes me feel better, mostly.

Last night, I found that Olivia has yet another hernia, this time on the other side. The surgeon told us there was a small chance she could have a congenital defect on the other side, but I kind of figured we were done dealing with this. Apparently, I was too optimistic.

I thought I saw her sticking out further on one side of her girly bits two nights ago, but then when I got her to stay still enough for me to see, I didn't see anything more, and I thought maybe I was being paranoid. Well, last night, when I was putting on her night time diaper for bed, she was squirming and I saw something pop up. (That's what happens, the intestines pop in and out of the hole that she has in her groin). Anyway, I could feel the lump this time, like something soft and squishy sticking out, and when I pressed her, they went back in. Definitely another hernia. James was very calm about the whole thing and thought it was silly that I started crying. Guess that's the difference between men and women. He reminded me that things were fine last time and that they will be again, but I still can't stand the thought of going through this again. What will I tell her? She remembers and understands well enough to know what will be happening.

My biggest prayer is that they will do it soon so I don't have to dread it. I'm hoping we can get the surgery done right after Thanksgiving, if not a few days before. I'm calling her pediatrician first thing tomorrow to confirm it (but I'm POSITIVE) and then I'll set up the surgery consultation.

Please pray for Olivia, and also, as silly as it might be, my sanity.

Coming up for air

If there were a prize for the baby who sleeps the least, Liam would probably get a large, gold trophy. There's really no reason for him not to sleep. He's healthy, happy, above average on weight so I guess he's just worried he'll miss something.

Crazy, isn't it? He doesn't seem tired or unhappy that he woke up, either. He generally makes noises and smiles and squeals every time he's up, which is why I think he just doesn't require the sleep. He usually nurses to go back out, but I really believe it's not that he's hungry. There are days where he probably doesn't sleep more than 10 hours TOTAL in a 24 hour period. It's crazy. Probably the most common comment made by strangers and baby admirers is how alert he is. Any sound, stimulus, anything-- he's so interested and he responsive. He talks to everything. I really think he just doesn't care about sleeping.

Aside of extreme exhaustion, a nasty cold has also kept me away. My voice was GONE for 3 days and all I could do was whisper to Olivia, who constantly asked, "How come your voice won't come out?"

I also got in a fight with my coffee table, and lost. Big time. I broke a toe and sprained the rest of my foot. I have to wear a lovely shoe with huge velcro straps that are way too long for the next month. All the shoe is doing is causing me to continuously bump my exposed toes all over again since it's open. What genius designed an open shoe for someone with an injured foot?

As much as my foot hurts, I didn't let it keep me from taking the kids trick-or-treating. Olivia was so excited this year and I couldn't wait to take her, so it was worth the pain of walking around. :-)

Olivia was so excited to wear make-up for the first time. She loves chapstick and I'll occasionally let her wear clear lip gloss, but this time, she wore blue eye shadow, blush and lipstick. She was tickled with herself!

Here she is with my awesome grandma-- the one I always talk about. Olivia wasn't smiling, but you can kind of see her make-up.

It got dark pretty quickly, so I couldn't get any good shots of her trick-or-treating. She wasn't too scared this year of the various costumes. She understood that they were just people.

While Olivia was energetic and enthralled with trick-or-treating, Winnie the Pook on the other hand decided to sleep (which rarely happens) in his snuggly suit. He fell asleep after it was dark, but he spent most of his awake time blowing bubbles:

Here's Olivia this morning with as she called it, "a bowl of candy." She asked me to say "trick-or-treat" and choose some candy from her bowl.

Before I got sick, I was on a cooking kick. As you know, I love to cook and I used to cook all the time, but I've been a slacker lately. Usually I make whatever is easiest, but still fairly healthy. Lately though, I've been planning more meals and really enjoying cooking.

Here's a roast in the crock pot:

and homemade turkey barley soup with spicy V-8 broth. Yum!

I also made peanut butter pie from the Mennonite cookbook I bought. It was pretty easy and soooooo yummy!

Oh! One last thing! I voted early on Friday. I went with both kids and a ugly medical shoe (what are they called?) on my foot, and the local news wanted to do a few minute piece on me because I guess that they saw it was hard for me to have come out to vote. I was all excited as the lady asked me if she could ask me some questions and if I'd talk for a few minutes, and then it occured to me: I had no voice! My voice was G-O-N-E last Friday, so I sadly whispered that I had noooo voice and couldn't. I was so mad at my stupid throat! I could've been featured on the local news!!! How cool would that have been?!?

Well, I'm off to finish up dinner and distract myself from the Election coverage. I doubt we'll know who won tonight. Truthfully, I'm dreading it anyway so maybe at least it's one more night I'll sleep peacefully.

free Dunkin Donuts coffee sample

In lieu of a real entry (which is coming-- have been very sick), go get yourself some Dunkin!

Not again!

WEll, it's happening again. I'm going bald!!!

A few months after Olivia was born, my hair started falling out like crazy. This time, I thought I dodged the bullet. Not so much. I wake up to 20 hairs on my pillow every morning and I have no hair around my temples. I've gotten super skilled at styling my hair to hide my baldness. This sucks!

Everything is happening exactly like it did last time, so I know at some point it'll stop and I'll have whispy hair everywhere that sticks out when it does start to grow back in. I think it took a good 6 months for everythinig to return to normal last time so I'm not holding my breath or anything. I know it'll be a while.

Ahhh.... the joy of having kids! :-)

Another recent problem in the aftermath of giving birth: there's something hanging out of my butt. I pushed really hard since Liam was so stubborn. (I still haven't posted my birth story. It's coming, promise!) I thought I had dodged that bullet, too, but apparently not. Anyone have any experience with hemmorhoids after labor? Care to shoot me and e-mail and tell me what the heck to do? Guess I should call my midwife and let her know. I just had my yearly exam with her a couple weeks ago, and wouldn't you know, they showed up the next day!

I've also beed bleeding nearly non-stop since I gave birth. I've on the mini pill, and it's making it lighter, but it still is happening. On average, I have 2-3 cycles per month. I've had an ultrasound and nothing's wrong, and I'm not pregnant which was a concern (wouldn't that have been crazy?), so it's just wonky hormones or something. Probably the same lovely hormones making me bald and pimply. Aren't I a sight? James still tells me how gorgeous and sexy I am. I love that man.

We had a neat weekend, though. We went to a Mennonite community about an hour away to have dinner and check out their bakery.

Since we went later in the day on Saturday, the bakery had sold out of a lot of stuff, but I scored some homemade Cinnamon buns and a loaf of sour dough bread! Their food was amazing... country cooking at its best!

One of the neatest things about the trip was talking to the people. Most of you know how fascinated I am with other cultures, so it was neat to talk to people who look and live so differently from us, although we have our faith in common. I ended up talking to a lady there about breastfeeding and midwifery. Liam was fussing in the bakery, and she heard me tell James that I was going to nurse the baby, and one thing led to another and poor James ended up having to listen to me ramble about one of my favorite topics: babies and birthing. The nice Mennonite lady wasn't even phazed when Liam spit-up cottage cheese like stuff all over their carpet. :-) Trust me, my son is a spitter and most stores are not so kind. I've gotten complete looks of disgust when he barfs on someone's floor. One guy even told me a few weeks ago (as I was srubbing the store floor), "and THAT's why I don't have kids!" I do put a bib on him and carry a burp cloth, but sometimes it's projectile and there's nothing to be done but apologize and clean up.

Anyway, the Mennonites were just awesome people. I bought a cookbook too, so be prepared for some yummy food pics! Oh, and I've been cooking lately. And baking! I was in a rut of whatever was easiest, but in the past week I've made homemade turkey/barley soup, from scratch pecan/pumpkin bread, spiced apple bread, chili, and crockpot BBQ. Go me!

Twilight Trailer

I will be reviewing this series soon!!!

For now, here's the trailer. Can't wait! Anyone else think vampires are kinda sexy??

Winners!!!

Wow!!!

I can't believe I haven't blogged in over a week. Shame on me! And some of you have been waiting to see if you won, so I apologize. I'll blame it on sheer exhaustion, Liam's 4 month shots and the fever that followed, and an obsession with the election!

Ok, before I ramble on some more, here are the winners: Morgan, Shannon, Connie, Arin, and and Jenn.

Girls, please e-mail me at hannah_@_teatopia.net (without the underscores) with your full name and address and I'll pass your info on the awesome people at Hachette.

On to other stuff, in a pretty random format.

>James and I have been watching TrueBlood and OMG, I am hooked! Bill the vampire is beyond sexy and the whole premise of the show is soooo neat. Have you seen it? If so, what do you think?

>The Olivia-isms continue. My friend Jennifer suggested that I write a book about things 2 year olds say. I'm sure many of you could contibute some funny things your kids have said. At lunch other day, my grandma and I were talking about books we were reading and ones that we wanted to pass on to each other, and Olivia says in all seriousness, "I have Frog and Toad if you want to read it." She also told me yesterday that she had to poop, so we took off her pants and she went to sit on her potty. A few minutes later she came out and said, "Nope. I thought I had to poo-poo but it was just some air." I also think she may have a photographic memory. My parents first suggested it, and the more I watch her, the more I think she might. She remembers everything and can vividly describe places and things she hasn't seen for months. It's actually quite freaky. Does anyone know of someone who has one? How would I know for sure?

>Liam is now 14 pounds, 9 ounces and 26.5 inches long. He's moving into 9 month clothes already because of his length. I wish I hadn't taken teh tags off and washed all his fall/winter stuff because I don't think it's going to last him. :-(

>Has anyone read "Twilight"? A couple of you asked me about it, and I haven't read it.

Book Give-away!!! (and my interview with Polly Eisendrath-Young)

The awesome people at Hachette Publishing allowed me to participate in interviewing Polly Eisendrath-Young about her new book "The Self-Esteem Trap." I was worried about all the potential noise on my end with two babies, but I turned Cinderella on for Olivia (her current absolute faaaavorite movie) and I forced Liam to nurse for the whole interview. Well, let's face it, the boy would nurse 24/7 if I let him, so he was a happy camper. I was a bit worried when he started filling his diaper and all the sound effects that came with it. He also burped really loudly at one point, but hey, I got to ask my questions, and talk to the author, so I was happy.

Here are the questions I asked:

1) There is so much focus on test scores and performance in schools today. What advice do you have for teachers trying to meet the demands of their school system while still trying to build their student's self-esteem, even when they are not meeting the standards?

2) What are some ways to begin building the self-esteem of very young children?

I really enjoyed talking with her and the teacher part of me totally came out as we talked. I got to listen in on the few other participants' questions as well. Dr. Young's answers really opened my eyes to the way I parent. Her philosophies on self-esteem are unlike any I've heard, but they make sense. She believes we need to accept that all kids aren't going to make straight A's and have special talents, but that we must find contentment and self-worth in being "normal" and average. It's a healthier way to think, really. It takes away the pressure of unrealistic expectations that often lead to kids feeling like failures.

It's also time for another book give-away!!! I can give away 5 copies, so I really hope a lot of you will enter. I'll choose 5 people at random.

Ok, so here's the book: "I Like You: Hospilatity Under the Influence" by Amy Sedaris, who BTW, is hilarious! She even guest starred on Sex and the City as Carrie's publisher.

From Publisher's Weekly: "Sedaris's sidesplitting guide to throwing parties hopes to return readers to the times when the word "entertainment" was "charmingly old-fashioned, like courtship or back alley abortions." While her tongue is firmly in cheek, novice party-planners will actually find some helpful hints along the way as Sedaris offers instructions and real recipes."

If you're interested, leave a comment. I will select 5 winners on Friday!

Stuff

Olivia is at the best age for saying hilarious things. I really need to start keeping a list or something because she's funny! Here are a couple favs:

-- The other night she was playing with her new Halloween Potato Head and I told her to stop dropping him on the tile or he'd break. She looked at me and said, "It's ok Mommy. He'll be with God if he breaks."

-- We had lunch with a family friend Pam recently, and when we were in the tub together that night, she asked me if Pam had hairs on her peep like Mommy does. HA!

Have you heard of baby legs? I just ordered some for Liam and Olivia to sleep in. I'll have to post pictures, but for now, here are so other favs:

Finally! It's cool enough to play outside in the evenings-- still too hot during the day though.

Liam, enjoying the breeze:

Olivia's curls are getting harder and harder to manage. After she's played a lot, her hair gets so puffy. Is it normal to have to use leave-in conditioner on a 2 year old? I think she's going to keep the tight curls because she even has them in the bath. Oh, and look how long he is!!! He's almost too long for his carrier at only 3 months. He's outgrown 12 month socks. He's not pudgy, he's just long. His hands are enormous and so are his feet. I think he might be tall.

And last, I need help with lunch ideas to make during the day. Two of my favs-- PB&J and egg salad-- are out because of Olivia's allergy to eggs and she can't have PB just in case. It seems like a trivial problem, but I am so sleep deprived from getting up with little man at least 4 times a night and I hate standing there in the kitchen, pressed for time, and having no clue what to make. Sometimes we eat canned soup. Today I made mac&cheese thinking she's love it and she didn't. What do kids eat for lunch? She's not picky, but I never have good ideas.

dog food???

These days, Rachael Ray is showing up just about everywhere. She has had a ton of different shows on The Food Network, she's got a magazine, a gazillion books, a talk show, her own line of olive oil, and now, she's created a brand of dog food!

Weird, huh?

Bullet Post

-- I am NOT scheduled to have bladder surgery (YES!!!!). Instead, I am starting pelvic floor therapy once a week for 2 months to see what that does.

-- This morning, Liam pooped like I've never seen before, and almost all of it shot out of his diaper and got all over his vibrating chair (or whatver they're called). It took me 30 minutes to clean it all up!

-- Olivia has an allergist appointment today to see if she's still allergic to eggs and to talk about whether or not she cna try peanut butter. I've been dreading this because they're going to stick a bunch of needles in her back again. :-( My parents are taking us to Red Lobster though to cheer Olivia up because she LOVES seeing the lobsters. The hostesses are always so sweet to her and they get lobsters out for her to touch. I say YUCK, but she loves it!

-- When I told you Liam was a good sleeper, I spoke too soon. If it's possible, he's even more difficult than Olivia was. He only slept about 90 minutes the ENTIRE day yesterday and even then the 90 mins what made up of a few different catnaps added up. He's also teething and wants me to hold him and nurse him almost constantly. Olivia is having a really hard time and is misbehaving to get attention. It's breaking my heart and I'm struggling to keep both of them happy.

--I can't wait for fall. It's still so hot here and I really want to start going for walks with the kids and letting Olivia play outside more. It's still in the 80's and low 90's here and way too hot to bring Liam out. He's a big time sweater (as in he sweats, not that he's a shirt. :) ) and he just gets red and screams.

And now a question,

Have any of you taken the mini pill while nursing? My midwife put me on it because Aunt Flow has been here 3 times in 6 weeks. I'm scared though about my supply.

I failed. BIG TIME!!!

The title of the post could also appropriately been called "One of the most humiliating experiences of my life."

I was going to tell you in advance about some tests I was having done today, but I didn't want to post on top of my book give-away post until all the books were gone, which they now are, so you're hearing about my tests after the fact. Anyway, I'll update as I have more books from the awesome people at Hatchette Publishing Co. I'm also glad to have finally done my part in "Paying It Foward" by offering up some of my own. You will love them all, promise.

And now for the test...

I know I've made reference several times to the fact that my bladder resembles that of an 90 year old woman. It wasn't always the case, but after 2.5 hours of pushing Olivia out, and a double episiotomy (the first cut wasn't enough, so he cut more) and 2 vacuums, I have a case of the dribbles. I had enough sense to go with a midwife this time and avoid more invasive procedures, but the damage is already done from the first birth. I recently went to an OBGYN who works with my midwife and he scheduled some tests for me to see what the deal is.

Silly me wasn't too worried about the tests. I pathetically looked at the appointment as a time to sans kiddos and maybe have some reading time. HA! Had I known I would be cathederized something like 6 times, I would've dreaded it a little more. They did various procedures: filling up my bladder and seeing how long it took me to get an urge, adding dye and x-raying. I had to pee in front of the nurse a couple of times (not too big of a deal after delivering 2 babies), but what took the cake was peeing all down my legs and all over the floor on the x-ray room. The filled up my bladder with dyed water, and only could get my bladder to even hold about 1/3 of the required amount before started leaking (not normal). Then, the nuts had me cough and push while standing up so they could watch my bladder. Apparently, all the liquid was supposed to stay put, but my the end of "cough, now push, then cough again" it looked like my water had broken. The floor was drenched and they had to get towels. I peed in my shoes (because I wore them to take the x-rays) and I had to come home and shower. Also, by the end, my poor girly bits were so sore from the in again out again cathedarizing. I was actually peeing tissue and skin at one point. Oh, and by the end of the x-ray, they couldn't even see ANY dyed water left in my bladder because I had peed EVERYTHING out on their friggin' floor!

I'll find out what this all means in the next week, as well as what they want to do about it (surgery?). But, I obviously didn't do very well.

Well, me and my 90 year old bladder are off to the loo.

Funny how I was embarrased at the office but I can come here and hash it all out without any shame. I love you guys! :-)

Book give-away!!!

I have been sacrificing much-needed sleep to be able to read, beacuse as you all know, it's one of my favorite things. I've also started keeping a book in my car so if both kiddos happen to fall asleep, I can sit in the car and read a chapter or two!

I am in the middle of the most amazing book called "Sunday's at Tiffany's" The premise of the book is this: what if your imaginary friend as a child turned out to be your soul mate?" I thought it sounded unusual, but I was intrigued. Now, I am hooked!

Anyway, I am going to do a book give-away! I have a few books of my own to pass along as part of the Pay-It-Forward blogging event. I am super late paying it forward, but better late than never, right? So, I have, from my own collection, these books to send to you:

Eat, Pray, Love
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan
The Painted Veil

From Hatchett Book group (I will forward them your address), I have:

Every Freaking Day with Rachael Ray
A is for Atticus
The Book of Calamities

You can click on each title for info and a summary. The first person to ask for each, gets it. When you leave your comment, (1)let me know which book you'd like, (2)leave your e-mail so I can contact you for your address, and (3)tell me the best book you ever read!

Happy Reading!

Let's talk poop

Thank you for all the condolences. I think everyone is coping pretty well. Nick said that he, Andrea, and their daughter are going to start counseling soon to help them get over everything. My heart still aches for them.

For now, I want to talk about potty training, or a lack thereof. I went over our brief history a few entries ago, but in short, we've been potty training (or potty learning as crunchy people like to call it) for the better part of a year. Is this normal? I think I mentioned before all the set backs we've had that disrupted our potty routine, and there have been quite a few: moving out of our house and into my parents', moving out of their house and into ours. Then there was the period where I was a lazy and pregnant and didn't care. Then Liam came along and Olivia was all too eager to poop and pee in her dipe and have mama change her, even more so if she knew I was about to change Liam and she could make sure I changed her first. Then we were back on track and closer than ever, and she got a friggin UTI, had surgery down there, and then caught a yeast infection. But, now that we're past all that, she still isn't that interested. I think she mostly goes in the potty for the chocolate she gets (which is actually a yogurt covered cranberry, but don't tell her that!)

So.... I try not to care what other people think too much, but I'm not much good at not caring, so... I dread changing her in public because I'm scared people will look at her and think, "good grief! That kid is too old for diapers!" In fact, I kinda like that she's on cloth because they look a bit more like "big girl" panties than sposies do.

I know several of you have children around the age of 28 months, or you did at one point, or maybe your child is younger and already trained. In that case, don't tell me because I might hate you. :-)

Should I quit worrying and just let her do her thing? Does anyone actually wear diapers to their first day of kindergarten? Or, should I push her a little? I don't want to be one of those parents who shames their kid though.

Please share your experience and and give me some advice. I'm ready to be done with diapering two kids. Having a boy who poops 85 times a day is more than enough for me! Oh, and did I mention that if you don't "position the winky," he pees right out the top of his diaper and onto his shirt? Even when I do make sure it's down, it still likes to move and point back up. I'll tell ya-- and if you have a boy and girl you alrady know this-- having a boy is a whole new adventure! I feel like I need at least 3 arms: one to hold the package out of the way, one to keep it covered to avoid getting sprayed, and another just to clean him off.

Anyway, please SPAM me with advice!

Update

My heart is aching for my bro-in-law. The night our nephew died, James talked to Nick (his bro) and Nick was just sobbing and James was crying, too. I don't think I've seen my husband cry in years (except for when we've had our children, but those were happy tears).

Nick said he'd prefer we wait to come up in a couple months so we can all afford to come and stay for longer-- buying 3 advanced tickets is the same price as just James flying alone w/ no notice-- and actually have a good visit where Nick can spend time with Liam. In the meantime, we're going to help pay for the tombstone. This might be the best thing. I didn't want Olivia to go, but I really wanted to see Nick, so now we all will, just not for a couple months. I also was concerned about bringing Liam. James has no vacation left since it's a fairly new job and he took off over a week when Liam was born, so he would've only been there a day or so. If we wait a couple months, we can stay longer. If that's what Nick wants, then that's what we'll do. James' grandma is also dying, so at least if we wait, we can visit with her and let her see Liam before she dies.

Last night confirmed that Olivia just isn't ready to deal with the concept of death. She watches Bambi all the time, but I always distract her or fast forward thru the part where Bambi's mom dies. Last night I was doing something with Liam and I forgot to skip that part. When I came back into the living room, Olivia was teary-eyed and her lip was trembling. I asked her what was wrong and she burst into tears and asked, "Where's Bambi's mommy? I want to see her!" so I rewinded the movie to show her Bambi's mommy and she said, "No! I want to see her now," meaning, she knew I had rewinded it. She cried for a while and I eventually had to lie and tell her that Bambi's girlfriend was his mommy. I don't think she's ready for death yet, not when it's affecting her THAT much. I don't really know when it's a good time though.

How do you make a decision like that? Luckily, Olivia doesn't really know her cousin, so she doesn't know he's gone. In fact, he's not technically blood related to her, but it doesn't matter. Nick started dating his fiance a few years back when her son Brett was an infant, so Nick has raised him and was going to adopt him when they got married. To Nick, Brett is his son and he loves him as one, and has for the last 3 years. Nick is grieving as a father would.

A few of you were curious as to how Brett died. He acutally drowned in a river. Andrea is my soon-to-be SIL and apparently, her sister was watching Brett. She turned her back to do somethiing with her own kids (I think) and Brett fell into the river and was quickly swept away by the current. They got him out pretty quickly, but it was too late. Nick said that at the coroner's, he cleaned the sand and dirt out of Brett's ears and off his face to make him perfect before they embalmed him. I can hardly type it without sobbing. I can't even imagine. They decided to donate Brett's organs, which made them feel proud. They hope Brett can help others through his death.

All this just makes me want to hold my kids tight and never let them go.

Our nephew just died . . .

3 hours ago, our 3 year old nephew drowned. My heart aches for my brother-in-law and his fiance. We're debating whether or not we should all go up. We can't afford to all fly, so either James will fly up since it's his brother's child, or all of us will drive.

I have some reservations about all of us going though. First of all, we'd drive all night so the kids can sleep, so that's not too big of a concern. I'm more worried about Olivia knowing that someone nearly her age died. I would definitely keep her home from the funeral, but at least we could all be there to support James's family. What are your thoughts on Olivia going? Is that too much for someone her age to see everyone crying? She's so sensitive and I don't know if she's ready for something like this.

On budgeting, cauliflower, and potty training. Yes, totally random!!!

By 2:00 this afternoon, we'd alrady spent $850!!! It sucks to have such large expenses when you're a one-income family. Well, it sucks anyway, but it's alot harder with me staying home with the kids. The money was well spent but still . . . Yesterday, our lawn mower died. James tried to fix it, but it was fairly old, so we decided to buy a new one today. Well, before we could even leave to go to Sears, the dryer burned one of the new diapers I'd bought. I'm fuming! Anyway, we had to buy a new dryer today, too. So there you go, $850 gone, just like that.

We're trying to be good about keeping a budget, and James just got some freelance work on the side. It'll mean less time with me and the kids in the evenings, but the extra $ helps keep us afloat. I've thought about maybe trying to do something on the side, but I'm still not quite to the point where I can confidently handle both kids. I still dread going to the grocery store.

Last night, we had a tons of family over for dinner. I love having big groups to our home! Our old house was a lot smaller and it wasn't comfortable to have a bunch of people over. Our dining room table only sat 4, but now, with the leaf in our new one, we can seat 10 and it's not even crowded! I made a pork roast with tons of garlic and onions, and it cooked all day. The house smelled amazing. I also roasted some cauliflower-- which trust me, even if you don't love cauliflower, this is seriously one of the best veggie recipes EVER!!! I'll give you the recipe down below. We had baked potatoes, tomato/mozzeralla salad, and rolls. And of course, since we're in the south, a nice Georgia peach cobbler! Oh, and the BEST part of the evening? Olivia said grade all by herself! It made me cry. The way she squints her eyes and her nose when she prays is just the cutest thing. And she pauses between each sentence to think what to say next! She said, "Dear God, thank you for this food. Thank you for my family. Thank you for my Grammie!..." (my mom loved that). "...In Jesus name I pray..." then she screamed "AMEN!!!"

I wanted to ask you something-- Olivia has been potty training for at least the last 6 months. She was doing pretty well before we moved, but then she had a big relapse and lost interest. Then she was doing well again when we settled in this house, but regressed with Liam came along. A few weeks later, she was back on track, but hasn't been consistant since her surgery (they cut her right on her girly bits), so . . . I realize we've probably had more setbacks and things than most kids, but I'm eager for her to give up diapers peramantly, except for maybe naps and night time. Anyway, many of you have kids around Olivia's age (or had one at one point). Are they/were they completely trained? I think she likes the attention I give her when I change her.

For cauliflower recipe click below:

You'll need one head of cauliflower. preheat oven to 350.

--Cut it into about 6 chunks and place it on foil lined pan.
--Drizzle with about 2 tbsps olive oil and generously sprinkle with Kosher salt and cracked pepper.
--Flip pieces over and season again.
--Put foil on top of cauliflower and cook for 10 mins.
--Remove foil and cook for 10 more mins.
--Flip over and cook 10 more mins. Done!

Woooo-hooooo! My ass is shrinking!!!

I weighed myself yesterday-- something I seldom do because it only drepresses me. But now I'm thinking I might do it more often because ...

I weigh 32 pounds less than I did the day before I had Liam, and I only gained something like 19 pounds. That means, I weigh LESS than I did before I got pregnant!!!

Anyone want to celebrate with me?!? :-)

On the mend and Liam's 2 month appintment

Olivia is finally doing better, thank goodness. I couldn't have taken much more. I feel like I've had to choose between my kids lately, and I hate that. Olivia would be screaming trying to tee-tee, so I'd have to let Liam cry (he always wants to be held) while I helped her and comforted her, or she'd be having a tantrum (usually not typical) because she felt sick and I'd have to nurse Liam and let her fuss.

When we took her to the doctor over the weekend, they determined she had a bad yeast infection from the antibiotics she'd been on. Really, we've come full circle in all this mess.

Here's the timeline:

Way over a month ago (maybe 2 months ago) this all started.

-- misdiagnosed w/ vaginitis. Prescribed cream. They did a urine culture just to be sure. Said they'd call if she had a UTI. They didn't, so I figured she didn't have one.

-- Days go by. I called to tell them cream isn't working. They tell me she has a UTI.

-- Starts Sulfa. 3 days later she's much worse. I call them again to tell them it's not working.

-- Starts amoxicillan and takes for 10 days. Seems better, but still hurting some.

-- Re-test urine. UTI is gone. Still seems a little uncomfortable, so they tell us to use that cream in case she has yeast from the medicine.

-- Things seem good for a few days, so she has the hernia surgery.

-- A few days after surgery, she is more miserable than EVER. She screams every time she tee-tees and she won't even sit down.

-- Called again to tell them the cream isn't working. They call in Di_flucan, which FINALLY has made everything better.

Now for Liam . . .

He's a big boy AT 12 lbs 5 ozs! The gave him 5 shots and one oral vaccine. I didn't think there would be so many. I thought about delaying his vaccines, but in the end we decided against it. I love my pediatrician and value his opinion. He's very naturally-minded and really researches things and so we went with what he said. I did my own research, but I pretty much found the same amount of info. for both sides of the arguement. It's kind of unusual that I am so crunchy about some things, yet we are pro-vaccines.

Anyway, I told myself I was sooooooooooo over crying at the first shots appointment. I ended up getting all teary-eyed anyway. They gave him shot after shot and it was awful to watch. I cried when Olivia had her first shots, but I didn't think this time would be bad since I've now seen Olivia gets many, but little Liam went from smiling and giggling to screaming so much he couldn't catch his breath. It broke my heart. Afterwards, he nursed so desperately. How can those people stick a tiny baby so many times?? I know it's her job, but I seriously wanted to smack her for hurting my boy.

Well, there's an update. I have some pics to post later. It's weird how much Liam's pictures look like Olivia at this age. If I had a pile of pics of both kids at this age, I'm not sure I could tell them apart except for what they're wearing.

Totally random, but, has anyone tried the new smoothies at St@rbucks?

Favorite movie?

James and I watched August Rush the other day and LOVED it. It was one of the only times I've ever seen James cry at a movie. It was fabulous and it had awesome movie. The rhapsody he conducts at the end is gorgeous. I'm a sucker for soundtracks anyway. I have about a million.

Anyway, seeing this movie got me thinking about my favorites, and I wanted to know some of yours so I can see them if I haven't.

These are my current favorites: August Rush, Blood Diamond, Love Actually and other notables: Return to Me, Notting Hill, and I know there a tons of others.

What about you?

Two things, well 3 actually . . .

1) Olivia is doing ok. She goes from running around and feeling good to being completely exhausted and in pain from being too active. I'm trying to keep her quiet, but it isn't easy. I can't restrain her physically. I just try to keep her interested in cartoons and drawing and reading books. It's hard though when I'm nursing Liam, which is often. She has a check-up tomorrow.

2) Is it sad that for my anniversary gift (which is this weekend) I wanted a custom diaper bag made specifically for cloth diapers? James laughed at my request, but it's something I always carry, so I wanted something cute that I liked! This is the fabric the WAHM is using to make it:

3) I wanted to share this picture of Olivia I took a few weeks ago. We were eating lunch in P@nera and I was feeding Liam (with a cover), so Olivia got out her dolly and started nursing her. I think a few years ago I might've thought it was weird to see a kid doing this, but now, I thought it was awesome. I love promoting breastfeeding! :-) She tells me often that when a baby comes out of her tummy, she'll feed it her "boof," which is what she called nursing and it's the term we've gotten used to using.

Olivia's Surgery

Olivia is home! Right now she's sleeping, so I thought I'd give you a quick update. The surgery went well, but she's been really irritable and fussy since she woke up.

We arrived at the hospital bright and early at 6:00 am. We waited a while for them to call us back and we briefly talked to the surgeon we waited. I think seeing the doctor again helped Olivia feel less scared. She was cheerful and talked to us and watched cartoons while I answered health questions. We played with the bubble gum scented mask we'd brought home to show her after registration a few days ago. She loved the smell and was excited she'd get to wear it again.

They wouldn't let my sister go back with her, which initially scared me, but the nurses were so sweet with her, that she seemed ok when it was time for us to leave. I actually ended up crying out of relief.

She was in surgery for about 40 minutes, and when we were allowed back to see her, she was whimpering and the nurses were holding her. Everyone wanted to hold her and talk to her because they thought she was so pretty. They all loved her hair and called her "Shirley Temple."

She was very irrational and restless at first and she kept hitting us and trying to rip out her IV, so they gave her Demoral and she went back to sleep. When she finally woke up, she was calmer and sweet. She's thrown up a lot though, which has made her upset, but they said that's normal from all the meds.

I'm curious how she'll feel when she wakes up. Please say prayers for her to heal well.

Thanks for all the well wishes!

Beach Bound

After a crazy last couple weeks, we're going to do something even crazier: take a toddler and a newborn to the beach! Olivia's UTI is much better and the doctor gave us the go ahead to head to the beach to join my parents.

Olivia is super excited and Liam obviously has no clue, but as long as Mommy's boobs are there, he's happy.

We'll be back Sunday night. I'll have pics then! :-)

*My awesome uncle Michael photoshopped the picture of Olivia. They were here visiting last week, and she took one look at the photo and asked me, "why am I wearing Michael's glasses?" I couldn't believe she remembered what they looked like. Lol!

Update on Olivia

Thank you for all your well wishes and concern. Because the slack-off staff ay our pediatrician's office, her surgery consult just got scheduled today for 7/24, which is next Thursday! I was hoping the surgery would be DONE by then. I'm going to try to move it up so the surgery can get done before my mom goes back to work. I'll really need her help the day of the surgery because Olivia loves her so much. James will be there also and the 3 of us can rotate helping Olivia and caring for Liam. We've tried to give him breastmilk in a bottle a few times. He'll take it, but he has a little trouble with it and it takes him forever to drink it.

Poor Olivia wouldn't have been ready for surgery yet this week anyway because she's still not well. They misdiagnosed her with vag-in-itis. I called to tell them the cream wasn't helping and that she was worse, and they said she didn't have it and that her urine culture came back positive for a UTI. Why didn't they call me then?? So we stared her on antibiotics last Friday, and yesterday she was even worse. She wouldn't even sit down because her "peep" hurt her so much, so I called again and they changed her medicine. She seems a little better today. My heart is breaking for her.

I had my post-partum check-up yesterday (not quite 6 weeks, but I scheduled it early b/c I thought Olivia would be having surgery sooner) and everything looks great! I officially swithched my yearly femals care over to my midwife who also does that in addition to delivering. I also got a referral to a dr. to do my bladder surgery. More about that later. Let's just say I've had some accidents that I couldn't control. :-(

I'm trying not to get too stressed out. My hubby and babies keep me happy. I can tell I'm a little down, but I wouldn't say I have pp depression. I'm just emotional and stress out about the health issues Olivia is facing. Another thing making me happy is my cloth diaper obsession. When I first started, I was practical about it and thought people who wanted all colors and patterns were a little nuts since they were just something to poop in, but now I got suckered in. I just sold off some of Liam's newborn diapers since he's a big boy and I've been buying some new ones for him. I got some in the mail yesterday and it was likt Christmas. So cute!!! I'm also expecting a few more packages. In the diaper world, they call it "fluffy mail," something I also thought was corny, but now think it's totally cute. I'll have to post pics of Liam with his big fluffy butt. :-) I have other pictures to share-- like Olivia nursing her dolls- cute!!-- but my laptop is seriously messed up and they are all on there. James is going to fix it this week.

I'll keep you posted on Olivia. I was going to ask for advice on something, but I've gotta go. Olivia just came in with an orange mouth. I asked her what it was, and she said, "I was eating my orange crayon. I pretend it was hot dog." OK, gotta run!

Birthday boy

For my hubby:

Enjoy your last year of being in your 20's!

Woo-hoo!

Now this is something to celebrate!

At not even two weeks post-partum, I am comfortably wearing a pair of pants that were too small BEFORE I got pregnant with Liam! I am *so* staying on this gestational diabetes diet (except for the sundae I plan to eat tonight when we go out for ice cream!)

The second time around

Yes, I know. He looks nothing like me and completely like James. I did all the work, it really isn't fair. :-)

I love being a mother of two. The second time around is much, much easier. I feel like I am enjoying it a lot more because I am much more relaxed and confident in my abilities. It's also completely incredible to see Olivia interacting with Liam. She tells him she loves him 20 times a day and says, "It's ok baby Liam. Don't cry."

The first few days were not so easy. Although Liam was nursing like a champ (which was such a relief since I had such difficulty with Olivia), he lost a lot more weight than even Olivia did in the beginning. We noticed he wasn't pooping and peeing as much as he should, and we took him to the doctor on Monday to check his weight. He was down to 7lbs 8 ozs from 8 lbs 10 ozs. Not good. I was devestated, but also confused since he was nursing a lot. His umbilical cord stump was also getting a little infected, so they prescribed some ointment and said that since my milk was just coming in, we'd give it a few days and re-check his weight. His cord ended up falling off after just 5 days and by then, everything was fine with it. Yesterday, at his 2nd appointment, he was up to 8 lbs, 5 ozs. That's a whopping 13 ozs in just 3 days! I was so happy and also proud! I love breastfeeding. There's something amazing about nourishing a child with your body. Also, he is definitely wetting and pooping enough.

Speaking of diapers, I don't know how you people with boys manage(d) to change a diaper wihtout everything getting saturated. I thought I'd be fine and could keep Mr. Winkie under control. Ha! This boy has a fire hose and it goes everywhere. Does this stop at some point? Surely they don't pee everywhere when they're 8 months old, do they? While we're on the topic, since I asked you all about circumcision a while back, I figured I should tell you what we chose. We actually decided to keep him intact. While I have nothing against circumcision (obviously, since we considered it), after talking to the pediatrician and doing lots of research, we decided it wasn't necessary. Socially and religiously, it wasn't really an issue for us, so we left it alone. I'm happy with the decision and so is James.

Last night, Liam had his first real bath, and he screamed the entire time. I'm still hopeful he'll end up liking bath time. Olivia screamed through her first bath but then never cried again. He doesn't cry much unless he wants to nurse (which is constantly) or if he's getting his diaper changed.

Since his belly button is now in good shape, we've been using cloth diapers, and I love them! We actually started out with cloth when he came home from the hospital, but I was worried about them rubbing his belly button since it was already kinda gooey, so we used Huggies until a couple days ago. They were easier to keep lower. The cloth kept riding up and touching his belly button. I'll have to post some pics of some seriously cute newborn fluffy fanny!

He's a pretty easy baby. I don't want to jinx anything, but he still sleeps most of the time. We wakes up to nurse, and usually goes back to sleep. I just hope it lasts. Olivia doesn't really wake up when he fusses, so it's been an easy arrangement with her in the bed with us and him next to me in the Arm's Reach Co-sleeper. We're going to try to transition them both out of our room at the same time so Olivia doesn't feel it's because of him. We'll tell her that both of them get to sleep in their big beds. She already naps a lot in hers, so she's on her way anyway.

For some reason, for me, this whole experience keeps bring up the decision whether or not we're done having children. James would like to but says we can talk about it later. I think I'm mourning no longer being pregnant even though I'd much rather have Liam here on the outside. Being pregnant becomes your identity for a while, and I feel out of place a little bit. Also, I think the idea that I might've given birth for the last time is somewhat sad. It's probably just post-partum hormones making me think about all this.

Well, I'm off to nurse Liam! Birth story is still in the works.

Introducing . . .

Our son, Liam Anthony, was born on June 5th at 12:17 pm. He weighed 8 lbs 10.3 ounces-- just .4 ounces less than his big sister. He's 22 inches long. We got home last night.

When I get the chance, I will write a proper birth story, but for now, let me just say that my midwife said mine was one of the strangest births she's seen. Although I went into labor on my own Wednesday night, things did not move quickly at all, anything but in fact. I didn't think pain like that was possible. He didn't even drop into the birth canal until minutes before coming out, which is why his head is so pretty. :-) There was meconium in the amniotic fluid and the cord was wrapped around his neck, although not tightly. He was also in a posterior position and didn't turn until he was coming out. I am proud that I had my completely natural Bradley birth, which is probably the only thing that saved me from a C-section. I don't think I could've pushed him out if I'd had an epidural. I labored in ever position imaginable to get him to come down and turn.

My mom and grandma made it just minutes before the birth, so they were again able to see another grandchild born. James was so supportive and really handled things well. I know I wasn't easy.

My birth team was amazing. I'm crying just thinking about them. My incredible midwife Melissa, my sister, and my nurse Cheryl (who my mom grew up with) were such a blessing to me. I'm not one who necessarily prefers women over men when it comes to medical things, but there was just something powerful about these women being there. They were so supportive. I can't imagine my old OBGYN wiping my head and rubbing my back and telling me things like "God is with you." I couldn't have gotten through it without them.

Liam is just beautiful and I already love him so much. Somehow this experience has made me love Olivia even more too. She's been staying with my parents and I can't wait to have her home this afternoon, although I don't know how we're going to handle both of them tonight since she still co-sleeps.

He's nursing like a champ (although we need to work on the latch) and isn't happy unless he has a nipple in his mouth. My milk isn't in yet, but hopefully soon.

I will share a full birth story soon because I have so much more to say, but for now I'm going to get some rest before Liam wakes up and Olivia gets home.

Let's get this party started

Baby boy has moved into the birth canal since yesterday and my cervix was much closer to the front, so having my membranes stripped wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. She still couldn't get to things really well, but she did enough that she hopes it works. I've had cramping off and on since then, mostly for the hour after. I've also had some contractions, but nothing really strong or regular. I've also used my breast pump for stimluation (which my MW recommended) but unfortunately, only one side is working. Time to buy a new pump!

MW said that I could come in this evening and have my water broken, or I could wait and do it tomorrow, but she's thinking I won't need to. Although, I'm skeptical. One would think many different things would have indicated labor by now. People keep telling me "it must not be time." Maybe not, but good grief, 5 centimeters?!? What if my body just isn't going to do it on its own?

Ok, it's been 38 weeks! Come on out little man!

*Sorry for yesterday. Stupid internet was down when we finally got home last night and I wanted to post. We're just not getting a good signal in this house! James thinks he's fixed it, so there shouldn't be anymore interruptions in posting until it's that time!

I have tons of pictures to share! I'll do my best to get all these uploaded in one entry. Olivia is getting into everything and I'm too big and tired to do a lot about it. Is that terrible? Just look at my feet! BTW, I do not have a dimple in my foot. That's actually a spot where I pressed my finger into my foot and the indentation stayed. Blood pressure is still ok, though. Still, every step I take is awful.

Here are some current belly shots at 38 weeks exactly. My stretch marks definitely aren't as bad this time. I really don't think he's quite as big, but I'm definitely carrying more in the front with this pregnancy.

And from the side:

I love this photo! I snapped this at the Saturn dealership this morning when I was getting my oil changed. Olivia loves to kiss and pat my tummy, so I took a quick pic with my cell phone.

My newborn cloth diaper stash is almost complete. Everything has been ordered and the last few things should be here this week. This came last week and I just loved how the work-at-home-mom took the time to wrap everything up. She also have me a free coffee mug wrap. Cute!

In other news, Olivia is finally almost completely potty-trained. I think if we hadn't moved, it would've happened sooner, but it needs to be in her time. Of course, she may revert back with baby boy coming, but that's ok. I'm really proud of her now. She always wants to hold our hand when she has to poop. Too cute!

Well, that's enough picture sharing for now. Olivia hasn't napped yet and it VERY tired. I'll keep you posted. I have an appt tomorrow. Please pray he comes soon. They want me delivered between 38 and 39 weeks.

False Alarm

I have lots of pictures to post: our shower, what I won at Babies 'R Us, and my ginormous belly. Yes, trust me, I'm HUGE. People look at me with pity everywhere I go. I'm tired of going out because every one stops me to ask when I am/was due. *sigh*

Actually, I thought last night might've been it. Those suckers HURT! They never got really regular, but goodness they were intense. From what I remember, they get much worse, but these sompletely hardened my uterus all over and I felt them in my back, too. I laid down and tried to sleep, and at first I couldn't because if the pressure, but then they let up.

I guess there area couple good things about last night's tease: 1) James is very eager to finish everything I've been asking him to do, and 2) I'm pretty sure I'll be more dilated at this week's appointment. We'll know Wednesday! BTW, they didn't check me last week. I wanted to know if I'd made more progress. My widwife does however think that he's a little over 7 pounds right now.

I'm going to try to blog each and every day until baby boy arrives so you'll know if anything is happening. I'll also try to post before we leave for the hospital, too!

Family Update

Poor Olivia has been sick since Wednesday night. One minute she was dancing around the house eating a piece of chocolate because she told us she had to tee-tee and went successfully on the potty, and 30 minutes later, she was throwing up and had a fever of 102. Poor baby. I thought she was all better yesterday, but just before bed, she threw up again and the fever came back. So far today, she's a little whiny, but other than that, no symptoms.

I love how she's playing with her curls. I find myself twirling them all the time. Even strangers come up and play with her hair, which sometimes is kind of creepy, but most of the time it's cute little old ladies who can't resist. :-)

I didn't blog about it, but last weekend, my parents and I took Olivia to a local farm. James was actually on the plane coming home while we were gone. It was hot, and being so pregnant, I felt kind of miserable walking everywhere and smelling animals, but Olivia had fun. She wouldn't ride the ponies, but she did ride a little train, taste cotton candy for the first time (she said it was fuzzy), and she ate 2 hotdogs (w/o the bun)!

I think one of her favorite things was dancing on the stage with the other kids to various songs. This was her first experience with a hula-hoop. I think I might need to get her one.

We think Olivia might be a super smeller. She has an excpetionally sensitive nose. Even as a small infant, she'd gag if I boiled eggs or if the dog breathed in her face. She told me she didn't want to go inside the petting zoo building because the animals were too stinky and she would gag. As we walked by the building, she gagged and gagged and said that she didn't want to see the stinky bunny. Ha!

As far as the pregnancy goes, I have had lots of BH contractions off an on. On Wednesday, my sister and I went to Target and I had some really strong ones. My sister (who is an L&D nurse) felt my tummy and said she could tell some of them were strong, but they never got regular or really painful. They seem to come and go. Some are low, some are higher up. I'm hoping to go at least another week without a baby, especially since my newborn cloth diaper stash isn't yet complete. Yeah, I'd better get going on that. I plan to have everything on its way by the weekend.

I have a shower this weekend. It's actually a family shower, so kids and hubbies are included. It'll break my heart if I have to leave Olivia home with James because she's still sick. :-(

Bookworm

I've been finding some time to read at night (and yesterday evening while I got a pedicure and James watched Olivia!) :-)

I was sent a few books to read and review and one of my favorites is "Dr. Gotts No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook". I've found that it fits in perfectly with my new GD diet. The recipes are really yummy and easy to make, and you don't miss the flour or sugar. These recipes aren't carb free, which isn't healthy anyway, but the carbs come from healthy sources, like beans and corn, rather than from a more empty source like plain white flour.

Another they sent that I really enjoyed is "A Confident Woman" by Joyce Meyers. I don't think I have any major issues with confidence, but we can all use a little boost, and Joyce Meyer is awesome! I'd actually like to check out some more books by her. She's also writes on Christianity, I believe.

On the same note, I just finished "The Other Boleyn Girl" (not sent my the publishers) and loved it. Although from now on, and until baby boy arrives, it's birthing books for me. I'm almost done Ina May's "Guide to Childbirth" and next I'm on to the "Husband Coached Bradley Method" book. :-)

What have you read lately that I should check out?

Woo-hoo! Grey's is back!

I just read that Grey's Anatomy is back this Thursday and for the next 5 weeks with all new episodes!

Know what other show we are totally hooked on? Dexter. When I first heard about it, the idea didn't vaguely interest me. Well, I saw one episode and now I'm hooked. We just finished the first season last night and are about to start the second.

I also love the Tudors. Henry is very yummy.

Welcome to our abode (and other stuff)

Since I've pretty much caught up on blogging about other stuff, I figure it's a good time to share some pics of the new house. I'll be sharing more of baby boy's nursery as it comes along, but it's not quite done, so I'll wait. Same with the office/guest room, which isn't neat enough to share. James needs to clean out his clutter, which he'd better do soon since I'm getting more and more in nesting mode. :-)

I'm going to share one of my favorite rooms with you first, our master bathroom. Weird, I know, but I'm hooked on the jaccuzi tub. I haven't use the jets yet (a big no-no for pregnancy), but soaking in the deep tub has been great for my aching muscles. Also, I've had some great mother/daughter bonding time with Olivia in there. We bring toys, wash each other's backs, laugh, sing songs, and she feels so grown-up when I (carefully) wash her hair with my Aveda shampoo. She usually puts up a fight when it's time to get out. I also figure this will be a great place to labor before I go to the hospital. The shower is nice, too.

I'm sure some people would love the private toilet, but since I always have an audience, I wish it was more open so Olivia could spread out her toys and coloring books easier. I'm sure when I no longer have little ones accompanying me, I'll appreciate it more. :-)

This is the other bathroom that's located on the other side of the house with the 3 bedrooms. We have a split plan, so our room is on one side and the other 3 bedrooms are on the other. I don't think I like the split plan all that much (although everyone says I will later) because I'm too far from the babies.

My other favorite room is the kitchen. We had a tiny kitchen before, and although our new kitchen isn't huge, there's definitely enough room for me to move around and leave my most-used appliances out.

And here's the breakfast area on the other side of the bar. It gets a lot of natural light, which is nice in the morning.

This is the dining room, which is too the right of the foyer.

This is our bedroom, which is still needing a great picture above the bed. Most likely, we'll be using something created by my talented uncle. Olivia was snuggling on the bed while I snapped pictures. :-) James has a matching chest-of-drawers on the other side of the room. It's not a big room really, but it works. I love the color we chose. It's a very pale blue-- something different for us since everything was beige/neutral in our first house.

This is the living room. It's amazing how much bigger it looked after we got rid of the dark carpet from the previous owners and painted the walls a light brown rather than their yellowish color.

You can see the foyer here as well as part of the living room. To the right is the nursery. :-)

I planted herbs in the backyard, but I haven't taken many pictures of the yard yet. I think this is the only one I have since we've moved in and finished the fence. Sorry about the shadows. I took this through the blinds.

I'll have to post pictures of the nursery and guest room/office later. I didn't think you'd care about the laundry room or garage. They're not that interesting really.

I love our new neighborhood, although the neighbors could be better. WE have really nice, friendly people on either side of us, but they're both about to put their houses up for sale. No one else has talked to us or welcomed us. I actually waved and yelled hello to someone the other day (he definitely heard me) and he totally ignored me. I like that it's a safe neighborhood and there's a lake for our community that we can walk to and see the ducks. Olivia of course loves it! They're also building a playgroud somewhere. Not sure how close it'll be to our house because it's a big development, but it'll be good exercise if it's a couple streets away.

I want to blog more about pregnancy later and also the totally amazing Bradley class we're taking, but that can wait.

New Address

We'll be moving in our new house next week. If you need our new address, please leave a comment or e-mail me. :-)

Thanks!

UPDATE

Things are better, I suppose. I feel like I still haven't quite come out of my funk from all the stress, but I'm trying to be positive.

We closed on the house this morning. That's the important part. The people had the jacuzzi tub in the master bathroom fixed last night, and the airconditioning people were out fixing the AC this morning, and were finishing as we closed. Things with the house are good as far as we can tell.

Our realtor handled the issue with the window at our old house. I don't know how it was resolved, and I'm not going to ask. All I know is that we didn't get stuck with it. Chas is right, they'll learn. Sometimes it's not cheaper to cut corners. They should have brought their inspector to the final walk-thru. I really liked the girl that moved in, and although all the trouble occured between our realtors, I doubt we'll be mixing business with pleasure. Too akward.

The bank people are idiots. The bank manager actually sided with the teller, saying that I had given her my checking account number instead of my savings. That's possible, but I verbally said that it was from my savings account. Besides, why would she withdraw thousands of dollars from an account with insufficient funds? That doesn't sound right. I've argued with them several times today, and they finally said they'd remove all of the overdraft fees as a courtesy. Courtesy? HA! I'm glad they are, but I made sure I told them that they would've been doing that anyway since they had a large part in the error, if not sole responsibility for it. Jerks. The next time I check my account, it had better be right! I'm not one to be messed with today because I've had just about enough of dealing with idiots.

The people are going to be out of the house Friday. I would've liked for them to be out earlier, but at least I have a date. They already set up for the utilities to be removed that morning, so I'm confident they'll really be out.

And that's it for updates. I wish I was jumping for joy right now since we have a gorgeous house that's only 3 years old and has everything we wanted, but for some reason, I feel like a total grump. I think I'm waiting for something else to go wrong. At least our house payment is nearly $150 less than we thought it would be. That's certainly something to smile about. :-)

New stuff for the house!

We're pretty much done buying and picking out everything for the house. Yesterday, we ordered Olivia's dresser, picked paint colors, and bought an area rug. Earlier in the week, I bought Olivia a lamp, bed, shelves, toy box, mattress, and some new throw pillows for the couch. I know I'll think of more stuff I need though. :-) I've been taking advantage of sales when I can, and I've gotten some really great deals.

Here's the rug we bought yesterday for the dining room. I had been googling more traditional looking rugs, but when we went to look yesterday, James really liked this one. I was worried it's too modern (the pattern is "gravity seashore"), but when I pictured it with our furniture and tried to imagine us sitting at the table with friends over, I found that I liked it too. :-) I also have to add that we got an awesome deal on it. When I searched for a picture on the internet, it was $369 everywhere I looked. We got it on sale for $149 at a local store! WOO-HOOOO!

For Olivia's room, we're painting it a VERY pale pink, almost whitish-pink, and she has a white dresser, and white-rimmed mirror for her wall, and then a pink and white toddler bed which she will hopefully actually be sleeping in. There's a canopy that goes with the bed with Disney Princesses on it, and it matches the other furniture. I was going to go with Hello Kitty, but Olivia said she wanted "Sleeping Booty" so there you go. :-)

Here's the set. It's VERY pink, which is why we toned down everything else in the room.

This is the bedding we chose to go with it, but is a lighter pink than it seems in this picture:

I'm a girl who likes to play it safe, so we never had any colorful walls in our old house. Everything was an almond color, so this time, we actually chose some colors. I know I've pulled James out of his comfort zone, but luckily my sister was there to reassure him (and me) that our house will look better with color! Olivia's room will be a pale pink, Baby Boy's room will be light yellow, our room will be a very pale blue, and the office, living room, kitchen and dining room will be a tan color, which is supposedly very popular right now. With the white chair rail in the dining room, I think the colors will look really nice together. I wanted to do even more color variations, but since James likes more neutral, our decision was a compromise.

BTW, don't know if I mentioned it, but the people are moving out earlier than they originally said. In fact, they are supposed to be out today, but we don't close until Wednesday. They were going to initially stay until a week from today, so we'll have more time to paint and maybe even get new carpet (we're considering it), and we'll still move in on the 22nd as planned.

I'm actually feeling sad about leaving my parents' house. I feel almost like a kid again, but I'll blog about that later.

Moving Up and Growing Out

Yesterday, was somewhat of a "Moving Up" moment for me. We got to go back to the old house and see all the changes. BTW, in case you haven't seen "Moving Up" on HGTV, there are 3 sets of people who sell their houses (or something like that) and they all go back and see how much their old houses have changed. I was excited to see it because I knew the people wanted to paint all the rooms in colors other than the beige we'd had.

I left my cell phone number with the girl who moved into our house (I think it's funny I call people my age "girls" instead of "women") and she called to tell me that they had some mail for us that didn't forward, and also a plate of Olivia's that was in a cabinet, and also some dish towels that were way back in a drawer, so she asked if we wanted to come over and get them. It felt odd driving back through our old neighborhood and even weirder knocking on my own door. I was shocked to see dark green walls in the living room (the color, according to the girl, was "Avocado") and the dining room was dark red. I thought it looked good. It was awesome to see my house in colors I never would've been bold enough to try. We talked for a while, and invited her to join my moms' group. We've always chatted away each time we've seen each other (closing, on the phone, and then yesterday) so I wouldn't be surprised if I saw her again. They have a toddler and are expecting another one, just like us, so it's weird to see a family in there that so closely resembles us.

Olivia has settled down. She keeps asking questions to reassure herself that they'll be some consistency in her life. Whenever we leave to go somewhere, she asks, "I come back to Grammie's house?" and this morning, she told me, "This my bed. This my pillow." We've had to make a time-out corner here at my parents', and it's been used more here than ever at home, but I think having the same rules here helps give Olivia the same structure she's used to.

I need to transfer some pictures onto this computer so you can see my ever-growing belly. My sister told me that I'm as big as some full-term women she sees at the hospital. I'm already outgrowing my maternity clothes because I am so freaking huge. And I have 3 months to go. I am miserably uncomfortable, so I am thinking of scheduling a massage next week. Last week, I got my hair cut after something like 7 months, so I'm trying to take care of myself a little more. I love my new cut BTW! I went to a new guy recommended by a friend, and he told me I had sexy hair. :-)

Oh, forgot to mention that we did end up with the side-by-side fridge. I'm still worried about having enough room, but our old fridge, which is plenty big, is going in the garage, so we'll have extra room if we need it. We also bought our new bedroom suit, dining room table and china cabinet, and also a coffee table/end tables. This afternoon, I'm going to get stuff for Olivia's "big girl" room, but something tells me she'll still be sleeping with us for a while, which is fine. I don't want anymore big changes for her right now, which is why I backed off when she decided she wanted to stop going in the big girl potty. It's likely she'd revert back anyway with the little guy coming, so we can resume potty training when the time is right.

Well, off to go shopping. I'll try and get some pictures up later.

The house is empty.

I'm feeling very relieved at the moment, but also very sad. About an hour ago, we took one last look around our first home, laid our keys on the counter, listened as Olivia said goodbye to the only house she's ever known, and pulled the door shut behind us. I told myself I wouldn't cry, but as soon as I pulled out of the driveway, the tears began. I was glad I was driving alone with just Olivia in the back seat because there was something empowering and also private about that moment . . .

The last time I saw that house completely empty, I was 21 and single, soon to be a new bride. James and I purchased it a few months before our wedding and rented it out to the previous owner until a few weeks before our big day. We spent many excited hours painting and planning and I moved in the week before the wedding. After the honeymoon, we got James settled in. Now, 5.5 years later we saw the house empty once again, this time leaving as a family of 3. It's weird to think that I'll never pull in the driveway again, or sit on Olivia's floor reading books and putting together Mr. Potato Head. It's amazing to think how much my life has changed between moving in and now moving out.

I'm already starting to think of our next house as home. When I picture certain things now (like planning our Easter dinner), in my mind I see it at the new house. I've been buying towels and mats and candles and things with the new house in mind. I can't wait to be settled and really feel like we have a HOME again.

We're going to try to catch our breath over the next few weeks before the we start painting the new house. Assuming everything goes according to plan, we close 3/12 and move in 3/22. BTW, our old house closed yesterday, so legally, we're homeless for now. :-)

I can't believe that our house wasn't even on the market a few weeks ago and now we've moved out, closed, and paid off the old mortgage. Crazy. I think it's pretty unusual for things to move THAT fast. Hey, be careful what you wish for. I remember us fretting when we decided to sell the house and asking each other, "What if it doesn't sell before the baby comes?" HA!

Well, off to relax a bit. Olivia has a fever, so we'll be laying low. I was hoping to go out tonight to celebrate the sale of the house, but maybe instead we'll order in (Indian? Thai?) at my parents' and watch a movie. :-)

I need your help.

We are buying a fridge this evening. HH_Gregg has a great sale (30% off!) that ends tonight, so we're going to go ahead and get one, and they'll wait a few weeks to deliver it. Perfect!

Trouble is, we don't know what to get. Initially, we wanted this one. It's stainless steel, with a bottom mounted freezer and french doors. We still love it, but it's $2000.00 I like that the freezer is on the bottom though since we use it the least often, and it's so stylish and sleek.

In thinking about it though, it seems foolish to spend THAT much on a fridge when we have other furniture to buy and some fence to put it (the fence doesn't enclose the whole yard, so we've got to fix that for the dogs). Anyway, you see what I mean. Cheaper is probably better. We're dead set on stainless steel, and for nearly $1000 less, we can get the same brand fridge in the side-by-side style that still has the water/ice despenser on the outside, which we also want.

So here's what I'm wondering, do any of you have a side-by-side fridge with the freezer on one side and the fridge on the other? If so, is it annoying or do you like it?

Finally, Pictures!

Excuse my lateness in posting the pics of the house. We've been packing/moving all weekend and now are officially squatters until the end of the week. Not sure if I can survive staying in this house even that long, but it's easier to stay here than with my parents because I still have packing to do and they are 25 minutes away. I'd rather be able to stay up late packing and then crash here and start again in the morning. Who knew we had so much stuff? I'm also actually sorting through it rather than just boxing it. Goodwill loves me right now. :-) We got out all the big stuff, but James is still cleaning out the storage room, and I'm packing up dishes and sorting through the thousand piles of random things that are in every corner of every room in this house. Olivia's toys are also scattered throughout the house.

I think she's confused and having a tough time time with what's going on. She keeps telling me the house is messy and that we're going bye-byes, but I can tell she feel lost. She cries at the smallest thing and clings to me constantly. She'll feel much more settled when we get to my parents' house.

Ok, enough chatter. Here are some pics! I would've liked to take more, but the seller was home recovering from surgery, so I told her I was taking them to help plan my decorating. I felt akward snapping a ton of pics.

The front of the house:

I love that there's a (small) space to sit on the porch. We can't afford rocking chairs right now given all the other furniture we're buying, but I have a super cute cafe table and chairs from my current patio that will do just fine.

Here's the back yard, which doesn't look quite so big in real life:

My pictures of the inside are dark. I turned off my flash thinking there was plenty of light and I didn't want to annoy the seller. I should've just taken them anyway. Oh well. :-(

I can snap more next time I'm there. Here's one of Olivia so you can see all her wild curls (we call her Kramer sometimes). Here, she's wearing Mommy's "boof"-- the word she used for nursing. She loves playing with my bras. :-)

And here is her "smile"! She told me, "Mommy need picture of Eeeya. I smile." And so she did. :-) (BTW, she can't say "Olivia" so she calls herself "eeeya")

Off to pack some more!

Popping In

-- Busy packing to move! We are actually going to stay here until next weekend, but we'll move most of our stuff out this weekend.

-- I'm heading to the new house this afternoon when the inspector is there and I'll snap some pics with my new Canon Elph! Keep in mind, carpet and paint are being replaced. The colors are not too pretty. Have vision people! :-)

-- Yesterday, Olivia woke up and asked me if Santa had brought more toys. When I said no, she replied, "I need more books, mama!"

-- I've been telling her about the new house every day to prepare her. Finally yesterday, I started talking about it again and she said, "We go to new house. I KNEW that!!" Ha! I guess she gets more than I think! :-)

-- I can see lots of tummy movement from the outside! Baby boy is getting big. :-)

-- Olivia is an artiste extraordinaire. She can draw a face, eyes, and circles around the eyes for glasses. The other day, she actually drew lines for legs and colored balls at the end of the feet, telling me, "look! legs with shoes!" Isn't she a little young to draw like that? Perhaps I gave birth to the next Picasso. Her understanding of things is amazing, it really is. I definitely wasn't that smart as a kid. I'll post a pic of some of her drawings when I have access to a scanner again. It's all packed up!

Ok, off to make a million phone calls, go to the bank, then see the lender, grab lunch, head to the new house, and then back home again for a workmen to give me an estimate. Whew!!!

BTW, thanks so much for all your kind comments. It's nice to sign on and have something to smile about it the midst of the chaos. I'm sorry I've been a stranger on some of your blogs. I try to read when I can, but I haven't commented since it takes more time and I want to pack in as many as I can. When I'm at my parents', I'll have a big break! :-)

Yes!!!!

****Pictures to come-- forgot my camera yesterday, so when we do the inspection this week, I'll slip in and snap some pics. I also need to take some measurements for curtains and stuff.

Just dropping in to say that we got the house! And there's a contract on this one! Wow!

We have to be out of here by the 22nd (I know, crazy), but we'll probably end up moving this weekend and going to stay with my parents. Our new house will be available March 16, but since that's a Sunday and the weekend will be almost gone, we'll probably wait to move until the next weekend. It'll give us time to paint the rooms a better color (bye bye yellow!) and finish the fence so our doggies will be safe. :-)

The stressful "what's going to happen?" stage is over, but now we're onto the stressful "what a hastle" stage. We have TONS of work ahead of us-- moving twice, first out of here and to my parents and putting everything in storage, and then renting a truck to get the stuff out of storage and into the house. I'm just going to remind myself that I will be settled in my gorgeous new home a good two months before the little guy arrives. That in itself is a blessing. The rest will fall into place.

Be prepared for lots of furniture talk and pattern/paint questions. I love input! We're buying a new bedroom suit (FINALLY! We still have our mismatched college furniture), a formal dining room set since our current smaller one will go in the breakfast area, and a fridge. Our old one is just that, OLD, and will go in the garage for extra space. It's white and the kitchen has black appliances.

I am still in freak-out mode and it feels so weird to be in this house that already doesn't quite feel like ours, even though it is until we close on the 22nd.

You know, we prayed for God to move us out if it was His will, we just didn't think He'd do it so fast! :-)

The Waiting Game

Well, the house we were interested in went off the market early this morning. Luckily, we found an even more amazing (and slightly more pricey) house at the end of the street. We loved everything about it minus it's odd yellow-colored walls, so we made an offer. The house has everything we wanted: a great location, 2 car garage, 4 bedrooms, it's less than a year old, it has a jacuzzi tub in the master bath, and a gorgeous almost fully-fenced yard, which we'd finish fencing in. Someone had made an offer on it yesterday, which hadn't yet been accepted, so we offered them something we hope is better and we're waiting to hear back. When we know we've got it, we'll agree to the offer we got yesterday.

We'll definitely be moving in with my parents for a few weeks if we get this house.

I told James that no matter what happens, God has a plan, and also, that I expect to be taken to dinner tonight to either celebrate or distract myself from having a potential nervous breakdown. Either way, God knows what he's doing.

*Fingers Crossed*

The girl whose parents live up the street came to see the house today. Inbetween appointments today (bank and then OBGYN), I ran by the house and found this note from my real estate agent:

"They liked house and are going to meet with their lender."

Sounds promising, doesn't it? Here's hoping this girl gets approved for a loan!!! Wouldn't it be awesome if the first person to look on the very first day ended up buying our house?? That sounds a little too easy. Of course, we still have to find somewhere to move . . .

Whirlwind

The last few days have been a blur. I'm still sick, but I've been trying to suck it up and get stuff done. Yesterday was MF's shower, which went great! We had a great turnout (not Karen, who BTW e-mailed me today and asked me to financially sponsor her for something?????). I think MF was really happy. Instead of a cake, I got all the girls Rocky Road brownies from a local bakery. Since half of us are pregnant, I figured something chocolatey and decadent would go over well, which it did. I got cookies for the kids.

I'm so proud of myself-- I got rid of nearly 20 pairs of shoes and flip-flops in less than 20 minutes. I didn't sit and obsess about letting them go, I just grabbed them and threw them in a bag. Go me! And today, I cleaned out my closet and got rid of TONS of stuff. It was hard to let go of pants I hope to someday fit into again, but if I ever get the small again, I'll treat myself to new stuff! I also donated 38 books to the library. Can we say BIG tax write-offs next year? :-)

James has been hard at work touching up paint and doing stuff outside and I've been organizing closets, re-staining cabinets, and doing general cleaning. Our real estate agent is moving at lightning speed. There's already a sign out), but it's clear we need a little more time before this house is ready to be shown. Right now we have paint out and supplies laying around, piles of stuff to be taken to storage, and still a few more things to start. I asked our agent to please add a note to our listing that the house is not to be shown until next weekend, and she said that was fine. So, we'll be going crazy this week getting ready for next weekend.

I'm dying to go look at potential houses to buy, but we need to tackle our current house first and get it ready to be shown before we really start looking. However, I thought you all might like to see another one we like so far (BTW, the last pictures I posted were of the same house, front and back):

The end of the house is actually the garage. The house is on a corner lot, so you pull into the garage from the other side of the street. This house has a little more square footage than the other I posted, and it's also more expensive. It's at the top of our price range, but finding something maybe in the middle of the range would allow us more money in our pocket each month. Decision, decisions!

Breathe.

The real estate agent just left, and I'm fighting back tears. I'll blame it on the hormones. James went to pick up a pizza (yes, at 9:00 pm) because we spent time cleaning up rather than eating when he got home, and then the agent arrived. I am a terrible parent because I let Olivia go with James instead of keeping her home, bathing her, and getting her to bed. But I get to blog and vent, so it's all good.

Ok, things on my mind since meeting with the agent:

-- It really sucks that our house is being listed at several thousand less than I thought. The market isn't so good and we want to be competitive, so it has to be.

-- We have a looooong list of things to accomplish before Monday, when the house is officially "on the market." Nothing is major, but there are so many things like, scrub down all cabinets, wait 24 hours, and re-stain. Take bathroom mirrors to shop and have them cut-down to get rid of the water-damaged rim. Clean out all closets and storage areas. Just pain in the butt type of stuff.

-- My first house is going to be sold. I'm feeling incredibly emotional and nostalgic already. I can't even look at my house right now because it makes me so sad.

-- Good news: houses in our price range are selling fast (2 houses down the street sold in a couple weeks last month). Hope we find something we like soon because hopefully this one will be gone.

-- We all sat at the dining room table to go over paperwork, and Olivia, wanting to be with us, sat strapped into her booster seat eating snacks. During a quiet moment of reading papers, she knocked over her bowl of crackers and said emphatically, "Oh shit." I thought I was going to die. At least I'm not to blame. She heard my church-going grandma say it the other day when she locked her keys in the car and I guess it stuck.

Last thing not house-related. I told myself I wouldn't talk about Karen anymore, but I seriously need to vent. I'm throwing a shower for MF this Friday, and Karen asked MF to please tell me to include her. I thought it was odd because I figured she didn't like me, but I sent her a kind e-mail and extended the invitation. Well, today, I got a response from Karen basically saying that she didn't know why I'd invite her since she knows I have said so many bad things about her to people (totally untrue BTW. I have lots I could say but NEVER have because I lead a Christian mom's group and wouldn't give her or anyone else cause to think badly of me. I have always held my tongue, always.) I wanted to write her back and ask what gives? She set me up. Why did she bother to ask to be invited? Of course, I know the answer. She wanted to cause more drama. If I hadn't invited her, it would've given her cause to get mad about that, so I couldn't have won either way. Anyway, after calming down and praying about it, I wrote her the kindest e-mail I could muster:

Karen,

I'm sorry that you feel uncomfortable. I was under the impression you wanted to come since you asked to please be included in the shower I am hosting. I wanted to reassure you that I have nothing against you and haven't ever said so, so if you change your mind, it's going to be held at __________. Please do whatever is most comfortable for you, but know that you are certainly welcome.

Take care,
Hannah

I was so proud of myself. Obviously, there are other things I would've liked to say, and probably would've been justified in saying, but they weren't the best choice. I nipped any potential drama in the bud. She later wrote me back and thanked me. Still though, UGH!!!!

OK, off to shower, which is what I was supposed to be doing while they're gone.

Ecstatic

It's done! Finished! Over!

We heard today that the insurance company accepted our lawyer's proposed settlement amount. We can pay off my medical bills and put the house up for sale! I promised James I'd keep the info private, so all I can say is, things are much better for us now. :-)

Now I just hope we can sell this house and move before Baby Boy arrives. The market hasn't been so hot here, so it won't be easy.

Weeeeeeee!!!!

Heath Ledger is dead!

I just saw on the news that Heath Ledger is dead! I don't know if they've determined cause of death, but the news said that pills were found near his body. He has a daughter Olivia's age. It's so tragic, regardless of the circumstances. It's so odd when someone famous dies because you feel like you know them!

Cameras and Clueless

I really want a good camera for my birthday in Feb. My camcorder/camera combo just isn't cutting it. The pictures are WAY too pixilated. I was hoping for some suggestions. I know several of you are great picutre takers (GFF, Lisanne, etc) and I'm dying to know what you use and how you like it. James is prepared to put out some money for one since we really need one with Olivia at such a young age and also with the little guy on the way. This is prime picture time in our lives.

On another note, I love that my husband helps so much, but he really can be quite clueless. Olivia just came up and complained that her feet hurt, and what did I find? Her shoes are on the wrong feet and have been since this morning when James dressed her. Bless his heart, he really tries, but he can be so clueless! :-)

Losing My Mind

Lately, things have been stressful to say the least. There are times I think I'll simply lose my mind because of everything going on, and other times, I feel God's peace and I'm thankful for the blessings in my life-- and there are many.

My mom hasn't been doing so well. She's having trouble keeping up with her exercises and she's in terrible pain. I've watched people in my family have knee replacements before. There is a rare condition in my family that causes leg deformities (I'm not a carrier) so leg surgeries are nothing new, but my mom's was extremely complicated because of the severe nature of her deformities. From the outside, her legs have always looked fairly normal besides off-center knee caps, but inside, the bones are not formed properly and she's missing parts. It's going to be a long recovery.

My grandma finds out tomorrow whether or not she has cancer, pre-cancer, or something completely different. If she has cancer, I will be devestated. Few people I've ever known are as close to their grandmas as I am. I talk to her every single day. I see her several times a week, at least 4. I have never lived more than 15 minutes from her my entire life, no matter what state we were in. She is a second mother to me. I tell her everything. How many teenages do you know who talk to their grandmothers about their boyfriends? She has always been my advice giver. Seeing her with Olivia brings tears to my eyes. I know she has to go someday, but I'm not ready. She has to get to know this new baby. I am terrified. Please pray for her.

I'm trying to juggle family duties (and taking care of a high-maintenance toddler) and be a good organizer of my Christian mom's group. It's been a rough start, and although I have been diligent about not saying anything negative (besides on my blog) about the group I left (Karen's group), rumors are flying. It would take me a million years to get into everything, but I'm very confused and angry as to why our shared members (people who are in our group and Karens) have no problem with Karen talking about us behind our backs all the time (many people have told me what she says) yet people are mad at me and my co-organizer for, in their words, judging Karen. Because we left to start a Christian group, they think we must be judgmental of her and her group because it wasn't good enough. People will find fault in anything. It just makes me mad because my co-organizer and I have been so careful not to say anything negative about Karen or her group so we could keep a clean, Christian reputation, and it hasn't made any difference. People assume the worst anyway. We've been praying hard for our group, and things are better. The people who just wanted drama are gone, and the ones left are awesome, Christian moms with awesome kids. Before I end this topic, I have to say one thing that gave me just a little satisfaction, even if it's wrong to feel this way. Karen has tried hard to eliminate any group in the area but hers. I've heard her say things about other groups in the past, so I have no doubt she hates ours, too. She "coincidentally" schedules events at the same time as ours, and yesterday, she scheduled an event at the library at the same time as ours. We couldn't be sure she did it on purpose, but it's a safe bet. Well, when we got there, she was arguing with the library because she wanted her "usual" room, the one we were in. They explained that we booked it first, so really, by scheduling her event at the same time, she screwed herself out of her room. Maybe she learned something. I can proudly say that I've done nothing to hurt her or her group and I don't see it as a competition. I don't want her members. I left them for a reason. :-) If I only have a few members who are kind, drama-free people, I'll be thrilled.

I think all the stress and physical stuff I've been doing (cleaning, helping my mom, baking for friends and family, carrying heavy packages to the post office) has caused me to spot again. It's light, and there's no cramping or dark red blood. The doctor assures me all is well with the little one (and I think I'm feeling flutters maybe), but I know I'm doing too much. I wish I had a day to myself. Tomorrow night, I'm going with some friends to see "The Business of Being Born" hosted by our local birth network, so I'm excited about that. It might help me make some decisions about the birth I want this time.

In Olivia news, she is as funny as ever.

She insists regularly that she "pegnant" and says "Have beebee in my tummeeeee." She tells me she loves me all time time and that I'm pretty. Then she says, "eeeya (she calls herself this) pretty, too!" She calls Santa everyday on her pretend phone and tells him she wants a dolly. It makes me tear-up seeing her do all these things. Her vocabulary continues to amaze me. She's speaking better than most 2 year olds I know. The pediatrician assures us she's extremely advanced. :-) I just need to remind myself all kids learn at different paces and this next one might be totally different. I'm guessing that unlike Olivia, he/she will walk early and talk much later and be the total opposite.

We find out the sex in a week and a half. Don't forget to vote.

Well, that concludes this update. Time for bed...

Great Books of 2007

I'm going to follow GFF's lead and tell you about the best books I read this year.

Reading is what I look forward to at the end of a long day. After Olivia and James are snoozing away beside me, I quietly grab my current read-- the book on top of the huge stack next to my bed-- and snap on my book light. Then, I'm taken to another place.

These are the best books I read this past year:

The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
This is the fascinating story of a Bengali family living in America. The son, Gogol Ganguli, hates his names and wants to change it, until he finds out how meaningful the name really is. This was a great read, and I'd recommend it to anyone. I am seriously DYING to see this movie. It's on my Netflix list, and my Christmas list too!

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
At first, this book seemed odd to me and somewhat hard to follow, but the more I read, the more drawn in I was. I literally couldn't put this book down. It's the story of Henry, who I found myself having a crush on, who uncontrollably travels through time constantly, meeting his love at different stages in her life until they finally meet in the present. I became very emotionally involved and found myself crying when it was over, which I rarely do.

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
Wow. This book broke my heart and fascinated me at the same time. It's the autobiographical story of the author, who grew up in extreme poverty, yet her family was loving and valued education. Her parents made crazy choices like choosing to be homeless while their kids wanted normal lives. It's amazing anyone lives like this, yet strangely, in some ways, her family wasn't so dysfunctional.

The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd
This was a lighter read-- a great beach book I think, especially since it's vivid descriptions of the island and sea found me wishing I was laying in the sun while reading. In the story, a middle-aged mother and wife goes home to help her crazy mother and falls in love with a monk living at the monestary on the island. She goes through a string of emotions about what to do about her husband and how to handle her intense feelings for the monk.

Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert
I'm still reading this book, and already I'm totally into it. Anything cultural fascinates me, so the fact this woman felt drawn to leave her life and explore these three places is just completely fascinating to me. I didn't used to be a big biography reader, but I'm finding more and more that I love having insight into an author's soul, and this author holds nothing back.

Helloooo

I'm here. Very tired, but here. Pregnancy decided to kick my a$$ over the weekend. I was feeling pretty good, and then all of a sudden, I was zapped. I'm feeling better now, not quite as lazy. :-)

Olivia has her first allergist appointment today to see if she has an egg allergy after her bad reaction to the flu shot last year. She tested mildly positive, and the doctor thinks the allergy is related to the excema she has as an infant. She outgrew the excema, and since she only tested a little positive for eggs, she's probably outgrowing that too. She got stuck 6 times and screamed off and on for the two hours we were there. I must've been extra sensitive because I found myself wanting to burst into tears whenever she cried. I think the only thing that kept her semi-sane was the lollipops they kept giving her. We were both a sticky mess when it was done. I'm just thankful it was only 6. Another girl got stuck 40 times and screamed at the top of her lungs. I think I'd scream, too!

I told Karen I wanted out of her group. I had the perfect excuse to leave when the organizer of the new Christian group I'm in asked me to be an assistant organizer. Karen congratulated me and even asked me to be a part of an oline group for mothers' group leaders. I'm assuming there are no hard feelings. Either way, I'm not responsible if there are. I was very polite and explained that I there are kids from church in this other group and I thought it was a good fit for us. I'm not exactly sure what my role will be as an organizer. Perhaps I should ask Chas since she's an assistant organizer too. I'm excited though, and I hope I do a good job.

I am starting to show a bit. I'll have to take a picture. It's amazing how different things are thing time around. I haven't taken any belly shots, although last time I started out with a flat tummy, and this time, I started with a lot of extra skin. Yuck. I need to cut back on my junk food eating. I used to be a healthy food freak and it seems lately, I've been going through one too many drive-thrus. Today wasn't toooo bad. Know what I ate for 2 meals today? A grilled cheese on whole wheat bread and roast beef and a runny fried egg inside. Then I dipped the whole thing in ketchup. Sounds like a very pregnant meal to me. I wouldn't normally eat a runny fried egg, or pair it with beef, but it was soooooo yummy.

After Olivia's appt today, we headed to meet my mom at Barnes and Noble to let Olivia play on the stage. She was not happy and I knew seeing my mom and getting a cookie would cheer her up. There was the cutest little Chinese boy there playing with Olivia. He was about 3 I'm guessing and he tried to speak to her in Chinese. His mom told us that he was telling Olivia she was pretty. How sweet. :-)

I also bought Olivia this awesome book called "What is Christmas?" It shows Santa and a Christmas tree and all the usual traditions, and then at the end, it says that although these things are a fun part of the holiday, the real reason we have Christmas is because of baby Jesus. So far she's so excited about Santa and seeing Christmas trees, but I want her to recognize Jesus too.

Have to share this: After Barnes & Noble, we went by Carter's to get Olivia some undershirts. When we walked in the store, it smelled funny.

My mom: (whisperting) It smells like poop in here.
Olivia: (loudly for all to hear): Smells like poop here!
My mom: Shhhhh. Olivia, look at this! (trying to distract her).
Olivia: Smells like poop, Grammie. Grammie pooped! Grammie go poo-poo!

My mom and I laughed so hard. Everyone looked at us!

Well, I'm going to go give Olivia a bath. The back of her pants are wet. Ugh....

Sexy Daddy, Olivia the fairy, Pho Vy, and other stuff

James is outside chasing Olivia around the front yard. I can hear her squealing and he's making all these funny noises. I think he's trying to distract her from messing with the yucky carved pumpkin on the porch from Halloween. Olivia loves being outside and James is so good with her. A friend once told me that she thinks there's nothing sexier than a man with a baby, and I couldn't agree more. I'm also thankful for a few minutes to myself. I've been typing away writing sponsored entries for Pay Per Post, trying to get some extra money for Christmas gifts.

I took Olivia Christmas shopping with my mom today. We enjoyed a great lunch at Olivia Garden (yummmmm... eggplant parmesan) and then hit some stores to buy gifts. I've started buying early this year so I can spread out the costs between now and Christmas. James has always gotten a big bonus this time of year, which has helped with gift buying and also with our car insurance that's due a few days after Christmas (how convenient). Now that he has a new job, we don't know what to expect, hence all the sponsored posts below this one. I can delete them after 30 days, but until then I have to keep them up, so I'm sorry. :-(

BTW, I posted an update about weaning, but it's buried under sponsored posts. If you want to read it, it's here.

Our Halloween was fun, but people seemed to come at odd hours this year. Usually, people start Trick-or-treating around 6:30, but I had people at my door just after 5:00. I wasn't ready at all, and I had to leave them on the porch while I looked for the candy I'd bought. We had some late comers this year, too. I hate that. We decided to take Olivia to just a few houses near ours, but that turned into many houses. We didn't even knock on all the doors we passed. She mostly enjoyed walking around in her fairy costume, carrying her pumpkin, and looking at all the people dressed up. Surprisingly, Olivia wasn't scared of anyone. Stupid me forgot to teach her to say "trick-or-treat." I didn't even think about it until we were leaving the house, so she didn't understand, but she did say "Halloween" and "thank you" when people gave her goodies. My parents and grandma came over to see Olivia. I watched my grandma tear up as Olivia pranced around in her costume, and I cried too watching my big girl walk excitedly up to people's houses in her cute fairy costume. Precious! I couldn't get her to smile for me. She was so busy watching people walk by and I had to chase her around the yard to get pictures.

As for this pregnancy, I can't stop peeing. I am waking up 6,7, even 8 times a night to pee. And it doesn't help that I'm super thirsty all the time, just like I was with Olivia. I also feel really fat. I can't tell if I'm starting to show, or I'm just super bloated/fat from gas and eating too much food. Did anyone notice an expanding waist around 9 weeks with #2? BTW, I am dying to find out what I've having. We found at at 16 weeks with Olivia because we paid for a 4D ulltrasound. If we do that again, we'll probably be able to find out the week before Christmas. I keep assuming it'll be a boy because I already have a girl, but really, that has nothing to do with it. James isn't one of those guys who wants a boy. I think secretly, he wants another girl.

Tonight, we're going to eat at Pho Vy, a Vietnamese restaurant where we ate last night! We've never gone back to the same place 2 nights in a row, but after we'd finished our meal last night, they brought out steaming bowls of Pho (soup) to the table next to us, and James said "wanna come back tomorrow night?" I think part of it is that we're just super excited to have more ethnic places to eat. This town was so country when we moved here and now, we have some many choices. James and I big foodies and we both eat pretty daringly and we've both traveled a lot, so we have that in common. Last night, we talked about our dear friends Stef and Mike. Pho Vy is the type of place we would've liked to eat with them, although they have everything at the fingertips since they now live in Seattle. :-)

After dinner, we'll probably do more Christmas shopping!

Fall festivals, cane walking, my totally awesome pumpkin log, and the cutest diaper ever!!!

I have some catching up to do!!!

We've been doing so many fun "fall" things and I have pictures to share. A few weekends ago, we went to Callaway Gardens, which is about 40 minutes north of here near the mountains. We went to their annual fall festival, which we'd never been to before. It was crowded, but Olivia enjoyed the hay maze and just generally running around.

Since it's still warm here, all of the flowers there were still in bloom. It looked like an English garden. Although finally, this week, it's really starting to look more like fall-- and feel like it, too.

On Thursday this week, my sister and I took Olivia to the pumpkin patch. I think she was truly in heaven. Ever since I bought her her first mini pumpkin weeks ago, she's been obsessed. She has a pumpkin bib and socks and a stuffed pumpkin, and she loves them all. She says "puntin" and it's the cutest thing! I wanted to let her pick out her own pumpkin, but she picked out about 50 of them, so finally I got to pick. She gets upset when the front door is closed because she can't see the pumpkin on the porch. She likes to look out the storm door so she can see it.

I've been meaning to post a picture of her walking with a cane. This is my grandma's cane and Olivia loves it. She won't even let my grandma use it! I was so embarrased-- a few weeks ago, Olivia stole a lady's cane at church. I got it back quickly, but she took off with it. The lady thought it was cute though. :-) Here she is at the gym at my old school, where my mom teaches now. She was putting on quite a show for everyone. She kept yelling, "look! cane!"

As you all know, I am such a foodie and I love to cook, but I just haven't had time to cook all gourmet like I used to, so I was thrilled when I made a most impressive pumpkin roll last night. The recipe came from this month's Saveur. I didn't have a jelly roll pan as the recipe called for (I don't even know what that is) but a 9x13 one worked just fine for me. I held my breath as I loosened the hot cake and attempted to remove it from the pan in one piece, but as you can see, it was a success!

The cake was so moist and the cream cheese frosting was perfect with it. I also made Rachel Ray's Pasta w/ pumpkin, sausage, and sage. I also made green beans simmered in beef broth, garlic rolls, a spinach and apple salad with homemade apple cider viniagrette and candied pecans, and mulled cider. The food was great, but I was so tired from cooking all afternoon that I just wasn't that hungry. :-(

And now for one of the cutest diapers ever! I sold a few of the diapers that didn't fit Olivia anymore. I bought a couple newborn diapers to start building the stash (once the baby is about 6 weeks old, he/she can start using the one-size diapers I use for Olivia). I also ordered this super cute coffee diaper, which I scored the second it went up for sale on Diaper Swappers. There were many disappointed people who were hoping I'd change my mind, but I didn't and it arrived today! :-)

I have some important mommy things to blog about later, both about Olivia and the new little one in my tummy. :-)

ETA: Olivia just called me "Hannah" right out of the blue and she's already called James "James" a few times. She thinks it's funny. Oh Lordy, I hope it stops.

Now we're talking!

FINALLY!!!

Today it's cold, cold for here that is. It's in the upper 50's, low 60's (beats yesterday's high of nearly 90!!!)

And... I just saw Christmas decorations going up in a local shopping center. It may not even be Halloween yet, but you'll never hear me complain about Christmas starting too early!

Tomorrow, my sister and I are taking Olivia to the pumpkin patch and Friday, the girls in my family are going to our annual Christmas craft fair. I love this time of year!!!!

Possibly the best Saturday EVER!!!

On Saturday, I FINALLY used a gift certificate I received last Christmas to get a massage at a place called Heavenly Hands. My grandma had heard about the magic this woman works, so she got everyone in the family a gift certificate for a one hour full body massage. She's been bugging me to use it, and I'm sooooo glad I waited until now because I have never needed it more. My back pain has been almost intolerable. I forgot to mention that the results of the discogram I had showed an anular tear, which means the fluid in the center of my discs is leaking out into my back, causing me great pain, so you can imagine how great the massage felt! Her hands were like magic. After the massage, she asked me if I had been in an accident, and when I said yes, she told me that she hoped I had gotten some good money out of it because she could tell the extent of the damage just from that one hour. We haven't settled yet, so I could use your prayers about the whole settlement mess, which will be over by Febuary, exactly 2 years after the accident.

My mom has her massage right after mine, and then we had lunch at a local favorite around here, Country's. Later, my parents took Olivia out to eat and back to their house while James and I went to our first movie in a year. We saw Rendition, which was quite good!

It was a great day! I can tell you one thing, I will definitely be treating myself to more massages. I am in so much pain from the accident, and I am constantly carrying a toddler and lugging around a huge diaper bag (I seriously have everything but the kitchen sink in there and I can't seem to do without anything). I just want to treat myself while I'm pregnant. Although I don't feel as sick, I can already tell that my back is going to be an issue, so I want to take care of myself.

My fingers are so completely swollen. I had to take my rings off a couple weeks ago. Is it possible to be swollen this soon? I haven't had my first appt yet, but I hate to call just to ask about my fingers. I doubt I'll hear the heart beat at my first appt. I'll be 9 weeks, so I think that's too soon. I guess I'll hear it at the next one.

I am so curious as to what this one is. If it's a girl, I think I'll be relieved because I already have one and I have all the stuff. If it's a boy, there will be a moment of "oh crap! What do I do with a boy? What do I do with his penis while I change his diaper????" and then I think I'll feel excited because I'll be experiencing something different. We don't really know what we'll name either one, but it's already fun to talk about it. We don't agree on anything this time, so hopefully, when it gets closer, James will give in. :-)

Just had to share: Olivia is saying sentences all the time now. The other day, the check-out lady asked me how old she was, and I said, "18 months." She said, "What? 18 months? I just heard her say a whole sentence! She's amazing!" and I felt sooooo happy! :-) She asks questions, sings songs (not the whole song of course) and answers me in 4 words sometimes. She's great with pronouns too. She referred to my sister's bf as "him" and she differentiates between "that" and "those". I love this age!

When my money from Payperpost comes in, I am soooo buying these Robeez!!!

Life

As I type, I'm having a bit of nausea, but that's all it's been so far-- just an occasional thing, usually before I eat breakfast and after I eat dinner, but it's NOTHING like it was with Olivia. I'm 6.5 weeks along, and I think by 5.5 weeks I was feeling pretty terrible last time. Maybe it won't get much worse? I hope not because I'm not sure how I'll keep up with Olivia if I feel like I did last time.

Last night we enjoyed a great fall dinner at Cracker Barrel, one of my favorite restaurants. I ordered the turkey dinner, and right before it came, I started feeling yucky, but luckily I was still able to eat most of my dinner. One thing's for sure, the nausea hasn't really affected my appetite, which could be good or bad depending how you see it.

We're really debating about whether or not to move. We could certainly use more space, and financially, this is a good time for us, but I doubt our house will sell. It seems that the market has kind of frozen here (and everywhere else I think?). We're 15 minutes from one of the biggest military bases in the country, and thousands more soldiers are expected to arrive in the next year, so hopefully the market will pick up some then. I just wanted to be settled before baby #2 arrives so we could set up his/her nursery and get Olivia transitioned into a toddler bed.

I've been enjoying more time at home lately playing with Olivia. Between my moms' group and nursing moms' group, we were going somewhere almost everyday, but it's just been too much. I am tired and I was sick of running around. All we really attend regularly these days is or Thursday bible study and La Leche League. Me and a few moms from my moms' group have considered starting our own drama free, no trash moms' group. I am so sick of women who don't want their kids AT ALL. People have no consideraton for others. They bring sick kids to events just because they want to socialize. In fact, we've had problems with a few moms who attend the bible study. Obviously, we want to welcome everyone and encourage people to come, but there's one mom who has 4 kids (and sometimes babysits too) and she brings all these unruly, dirty kids and it ruins the entire thing. We've even had a few moms who came once to the bible study and never wanted to come back because of this woman. She consistently brings sick kids. Just a couple weeks ago, her son had strep throat and rashes all over, and she brought him. As much as I want to welcome everyone, I'd rather she didn't come because she ruins it for everyone and makes it unpleasant.

One thing I've really enjoyed doing lately is shopping at my new favorite grocery store downtown. I am such a foodie-- even if I don't cook like I used too-- but I still love trying new things. I've discovered these new yogurts: the brand is Rachel's and all the flavors are exotic.

Flavors include: Vanilla Chai, Peach Green Tea with Ginseng, and Pomegranate Blueberry. I think there are 20 in all. This store has even special ordered products from Whole Foods for me. :-) Love them!

Anyway, Olivia is calling. I have tons of pics to post later from our trip to the mountains last weekend for a fall festival. Fun!

It's hard not to be a couch potato with so many great fall shows!

Lately, I'm finding myself on the couch or in bed watching TV waaaayyyy too often. I'm just so tired and worn out and it's so relaxing to watch TV. Olivia usually requires my undivided attention, but when she's interested in something else, these days I tend to plop down on the couch and turn on the TV. Same thing at night. When she's asleep, into bed I go and on goes the TV. It's mindless and relaxing. What could a pregnant woman with a toddler to chase all day want more? (Maybe some hot fudge cake, but I'm trying not to go crazy. Pants are feeling snug already).

This fall, I seem to be watching more shows than ever. Some new, some not. Here are the ones I try to catch:

Grey's Anatomy
Duh. One of my favorites for sure. I'm even getting James hooked. *mwahhh hahahaha* Love all the drama and the medical stuff, too. I never miss this one.

Life is Wild
Thank you Ani for e-mailing me about this one, or else I never would've known it was on. I don't watch much on the CW, so thank you, thank you! If you don't know about this one, it's about about a family that decides to move to a game reserve in South Africa for a year. Obviously, right up my alley. When I saw the pilot, the show kind of bothered me. It was the epitome of the "American" perspective of Africa. You know, elephants in the back yard. Constant animal encounters. Happy-go-lucky villagers interacting with animals and selling souvenirs. But it was a fun show, and when I watched the second episode today which I recorded on my DVR last night, I liked it even more. I think it'll be a regular, if for no other reason than it's about South Africa.

Law & Order SVU/Criminal Intent
I like that I can miss an episode or two of these and I don't fall behind. These are always fun.

CSI
Same with these. I can watch sporatically and never really miss anything. These are fun and I love figuring them out.

Jon and Kate, Plus 8
Ok, we are Jon and Kate, minus 7 kids. We bicker and scold each other just like they do. It cracks me up to watch Kate and her rituals and super organized ways because I feel like I'm watching myself, although I have less reason to want such order in my house. James is just like her husband. He's compliant, but really, he's thinking I'm anal and crazy. :-)

Dog the Bounty Hunter
Love this show. My sister got me hooked. At first I thought Dog was crazy, but now I find him amusing. He's a decent guy. I enjoy watching the chase.

Other notables: Either I haven't decided what I think or I haven't seen all the episodes, but they're worth mentioning: Journey Man, Heroes (James loves this one), Little People Big World, and Private Practice.

Then of course, there's the Food Network, Discovery Channel, TLC, and other channels that I watch, but don't stick to specific shows.

What are you watching this fall? Anything I should see?

Girls' Night Out

I've been feeling really good since my mini meltdown in the last entry. I'm still worrying about things, but I feel good (just tired) and no nausea yet. *fingers crossed*

I decided to do something last week that I don't do nearly enough: go out with the girls. Once every month, the organizer of my moms' group has a special "Domestic Divas" dinner for the more active members since there are too many of us to go out normally. I've never gone to one before (I think we've had 3) but last week, I decided I really needed a break. Also, I've been wanting to try the new Tapas bar that opened down town. We live in a not-so-small town that oddly enough has a very country feel, but I've been finding more and more places here lately that feel more like the DC area. The area where the Tapas bar is, Tapatinis, is right next to my new favorite gourmet grocery store I posted about a few weeks back.

The restaurant overlooks an art gallery and a trendy area of home decor shops. It's only open at night, but there's a cafe open daily that's owned by the same people and connected to the gallery. I really want to have lunch there sometime, too. We ate on the terrace and it felt so good to laugh with the girls, enjoy the breeze, and listen in on the blind date going on next to us. It didn't seem to go too well (but the guy was really cute) and after they left, all six of us sat around and analyzed the date. :-) The music was great too and I could've made the soundtrack myself! I don't know if they had the radio on or what, but they played so many songs I love. Everything was just perfect.

We all ordered different things, and everyone was amazed at how good the food was. I ordered a house salad with mixed greens, honey glazed pecans, Mandarin orange segments, and baby tomatoes with creamy coconut citrus vinaigrette. It was amazing. Because it's a Tapas restaurant, you can choose the size of your entree. I got the smaller one, and it was plenty of food. I got a New York Strip Au Poivre topped with applewood smoked bacon, gorgonzola crumbles,
& a brown sugar balsamic reduction, served with fettuccini. For dessert, I had a flourless chocolate torte. I wanted to take pictures, but it was dark and I knew they'd be too dim. I was a good wifey and brought James home some dessert, and so the other moms followed my lead and brought home something for their husbands.

The mom sitting next to me was also pregnant, and she goes to another OBGYN practice I've been considering because they have nurse midwives on staff with the doctors. She said she loves them, so I might make an appointment just to see. I don't see my current OBGYN for almost another month.

Then last night, we attended a private after-hours shopping party at a swanky (expensive) baby and maternity boutique hosted by my friend Logan. I saw a million things I wanted, but I was good and only bought one outfit for Olivia, which still cost $45 with a discount. Whoa! I'll have to post pictures of it. I tried on some maternity stuff, but I didn't get anything. There's plenty of time!

Another fluffy fanny....

Well, it seems that early next June, we're going to have another fanny to fluff in cloth! :-)

Yep, Olivia is going to be a BIG SISTER!!!!!!

I'm not quite a month along, but I couldn't wait to share our news! I see the doctor next week to get an official due date, but 5 tests confirmed our news (as if the first wasn't enough). :-)

Big Update! Lots of pics!

I know it's long, but I hope you'll read everything. :-)

Hope I remember everything I wanted to blog about. It's been a busy weekend and I'm a little brain dead.

I called James this afternoon while I was at Wal-m@rt to ask him if he needed anything, and he said he couldn't check because he was waiting on the police.

THE POLICE?!?

Crap! I figured it was something with a neighbor because I've already had to call the police twice in the last few months to come to our once nice, peaceful neighborhood. We had a bunch of teens down the street who were partying and driving drunk. I was outside playing with Olivia in the front yard and they swerved into my yard and tossed beer cans in it. In the day time!!! Then the next night same thing, so I called again.

Anyway, I was right. The drunk redneck rebel flag loving neighbbor down the street was shooting his gun off in his yard. James was out trimming the hedges and said it was so loud! That's all I need with Olivia playing in the yard. A drunk man shooting a gun across the street. Makes me so mad. We live in a nice house and now the neighborhood is going down hill because of several houses that rent to total trash. They arrested him and took him to jail where belongs!!!

On a happier note, I made a yummy dinner Saturday night: ham and broccoli quiche and an apple oatmeal crumble. Very fall-ish I'd say. Yum!

On Friday, I got some unpleasant news. I left a doctor's appt in tears. You know, we're still in the middle of this whole lawsuit mess from the accident when I was pregnant. An MRI last year showed damage in several places and lately, things like leaning over to bathe Olivia cause me a lot of pain. This coming Friday, I have to have a procedure in the hospital. They're going to sedate me and inject dye in each vertabre and then do x-rays to see each disc more closely. Wish me luck. I'm nervous and scared I'll feel all those big needles since I won't be totally under. I'm sure I'll be quite sore the rest of the day. :-( Then we'll go from there. Surgery is a possibility, although a last resort in my opinion. I'm scared of the pain getting worse over the years, and since some of what's wrong is arthritis, it probably will, but I don't want back surgery. I've heard horror stories.

Get this: Apparently, I am not allowed to listen to "my music" anymore when Olivia is in the car, which is always. If I turn on the radio or put in a CD, she screams, "NO!!! Pooh!" and yells until I put her CD in. If I have to listen to the Winnie the Pooh song one more time, I might just drive off a bridge. So if you see a woman with her hands over her ears and a toddler jammin' in the back seat, it's probably us. :-) Although I have to admit, hearing her sing along is precious!!!

This afternoon, Olivia went into the kitchen and yelled, "seep! seep!" We couldn't figure out what she wanted until James got the idea to give her the broom. She happily exclaimed "YES!!" and swept the whole kitchen. She kept telling us, "seep" as she swept. Too cute!!

On Saturday, I made the best discovery. As you know, I'm into natural, healthy living. I'd give my right leg for a Whole Foods like we had up north, but I've had to make do with our tiny locally owned health food store and buy the rest on occasional trips to Atlanta. Well, on Saturday, I discovered a grocery store downtown that is packed with gourmet everything and a crap load of natural products. I found cleaning stuff, chlorine free diapers (for when we use disposables), new brands of Organic baby food (because yes, she still eats some), recycled paper products, cheaper Organic milk. I could go on and on. They even had a whole aisle for Indian food and another section for Paula Deen stuff. I think I'm going to look forward to grocery shopping each week now!

Today was a special day too. After church and Mexican food, James came home to take a nap (he's been working so hard on projects around the house) and to work outside and Olivia and I hit the new Babies 'R Us (this town is sooo growing on me!) We browsed an outdoor mall and stopped in various stores. I found a Halloween onesie for Olivia at Old Navy that says "Daddy's Little Pumpkin" and then we went to Barnes and Noble where we shared a sugar cookie and played in the kids section, which is one of her favorite things to do now. She loves the stage. My little ham! :-)

Check out her shoes. They're hard to see, so here's a bigger picture. Love these! I get so many compliments on them.

I'll leave you with some seriously big bedtime bootie! This is cloth for night time-- a Fuzzi Bunz diaper with a mighty nighty hemp liner inside and then this incredible awesome pink wool cover to keep any leaks contained. Seriously, if anyone is interested in cloth or just curious about it because you think I'm totally nuts, ask away! I'm planning on devoting a blog entry to cloth soon because I love it so much.

Nighty night!

What a morning!

We seem to be having a series of crazy mornings around here lately, many of which seem to revolve around some sort of poop incident.

Just this morning, I was making the bed when I heard Olivia scream and start to cry from inside our bathroom. I stuck my head in the door, and saw that the poodle (always the naughty one of our two dogs) had pooped on the floor and poor Olivia stepped in it. She was crying, "mama! mama! tee-tee! tee-tee!" and pointing to her foot. Obviously, we haven't quite distinguised between tee-tee, poo-poo, and toots. She says toots and has tee-teed, and sometimes she says poo-poo and it was only a toot. Anyway, the fact that she tells us almost every time makes me think it might be time to potty train, but that's another entry.

I picked up Olivia and saw that the dog poop was squished between all her toes. EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW! She was yelling and squirming and she wiped the poop from her foot all over my shirt.

The stupid poodle caused me a lot of work. I had to scrub Olivia's feet with anti-bacterial soap, then wash out the sink, wash my shirt, then do another load with the bathroom rug, and then I had to sanitize the bathroom floor.

James better not ask me what I did today (I swear he "checks up" on me) cuz he's going to get a mouthfull today. :-)

Fall and Olivia's Halloween Costume!

I love fall. It used to be my least favoite season as a kid. Fall meant the end of summer, which wasn't so hot back in Maryland so it was more enjoyable. Fall also meant going back to school, having to buy new clothes (I HATED trying on clothes as a kid). Fall was the bridge between my two favorite seasons and I couldn't wait for it to be over so we could have winter and play in the snow.

Well, now I live in unbearably hot Georgia where I'm eager to kiss summer goodbye! Winter doesn't really feel like winter so there isn't anything much special about it except for Chirstmas. I feel like since I reached adulthood, I've really started to love the fall. I love the relief it brings from the summer heat, but also, I love the smell of leaves, apples, ginger, and all things pumpkin.

I'm also excited because I just bought Olivia's Halloween costume! She's going to be a fairy. I initially had decided she'd be a lamb, but I think realistically she needs to be something that will still be apparent even without the hat which she undoubtedly will refuse to wear. So, a fairy it is.

Last year she was a pea in a pod, but that didn't go so well. She didn't like being so constricted in her little pod!

Any thoughts what your children will be for Halloween this year?

It was bound to happen

Today, I was driving around a local shopping center on my way to buy another nursing bra when I saw a man and a young woman cross the street. Before it even registered who they were, I found myself stopping my car in the middle of traffic to get a closer look.

Then it hit me who they were: my biological dad and my sister Katie. My mom was with me and she agreed that yes, it was him. Then I saw him get into a sporty car (so like him) and saw his college alumni license plate holder and a Nascar sticker (the man is obsessed with all things that go fast).

I quickly made a u-turn and pulled up behind his car (he wouldn't know me so I didn't care if he saw me). He was in the process of pulling out when he saw my car, so he stopped. I waved him out and out he pulled and drove off. And that was that.

I've been waiting to see him. Not because I wanted to but because I knew I would at some point, this being a small town and all.

Weird, just too weird. I don't know how I felt. My heart was pounding and I felt strange. It did occur to me that this was probably the closest he'd ever get to his only grandchild. Can you imagine if he'd known his daughter, ex-wife, and grand-daughter were the ones waving him to go ahead?

Obviously, after my last post (which I linked to above), I never contacted my sister. It just hasn't felt right. Maybe someday, but for now, maybe our lives are best they way they are.

Another Yipppeeee!

James got a new job! A better job! With more money, great benefits and a sign-on bonus! Things have been really rough for us and I've considered going back to work because we need the money, but now I can stay home. James told me not to look yet, that he wanted to look first, and he got one! I feel so relieved. I am so thankful I am able to be a SAHM. Being home with Olivia is the best. :-)

YIPPPEEEE!!!!!

James just finished his master's degree. A perfect 4.0, dean's list, and Phi Kappa Phi member. I'm so proud!!!

I'll also no longer be a single parent! No more night classes for James. Yay!!!!

Because I can't think about anything else right now (TMI to follow)

Ok, so the doctor said no bladder surgery until after I'm done having babies. That could be several years. We know we want to try to #2 before the new year, but I could see us trying for a 3rd within a few years after that if we decide to have 3. I think at this point it depends on our financial situation at the time. Anyway, I can't wait that long, but I hate to have a surgery that will be undone with another birth. That's just crazy.

However, I was so busy last night at the book club making pot after pot of coffee (note to self: buy a carafe) and serving dessert (I decided on peach cobbler because my parents happened to bring me some peaches so it made good sense) that I didn't stop to go to the BR. I was also in charge of leading the discussion. Then one of my candles burned part of my wall, and I had to deal with that. Luckily, enough of the black came off that you wouldn't really notice. Needless to say, I was busy. It didn't feel like I really had to go that much, but when the night ended and I went to change clothes, my Poise pad was SOAKED. I can't do this for years. I'm peeing right and left. It isn't just an, "oops! I sneezed and out came a few dribbles." It's much worse. What will I do when I'm pregnant? I guess then I might be a little less embarrassed because it's pretty much a cliche that women have trouble holding it, but I'm not even pregnant, and I'm a leaky faucet. I woke up this morning, and as soon as I sat up, WHOOSH! This is awful!

I don't want to have surgery more than once, but might it be worth it not to be peeing my pants all the time? What would you do? Have surgery and risk having it again, or just stay padded and deal with it? If you really think about it, just dealing with it is easier said than done. It's a big incovenience. We 're planning a possible beach trip and I've already thought about what to do when I'm in my baithing suit and don't want to wear a bulky pad. I'm *so* frustrated!

Today

This morning I have:

-- done 3 loads of laundry

-- changed a v. stinky carrott poop

-- tried to distract Olivia away from the fridge (she won't stop banging on it and screaming "cheese" and she's had way too much already)

-- cleaned up b/c I'm hosting book club tonight

-- obsessed over what dishes/containers to use to serve dessert and coffee, and what to put the cream, sugar, and flavored splenda packets in

-- talked to one of my favorite students on the phone for a while and had a great conversation about morality. Kids can be so cool!

Books and Boobs

Am feeling v. happy!

There's a house for sale in our neighborhood, so I called the number on the sign and pretended to be in the market for a new home so I could find out the asking price. I was thrilled to learn that we've aquired some equity! Now if I could only pay off the new heater and air conditioner we put in so I can actually keep the equity when we sell our house. We've been thinking about moving lately. Just thinking. And talking. Not planning. We want another child, but I know I'd like to enjoy having more money each month (less cooking for me!) and I'd hate to have a bigger mortgage. Hmmm... something to think about. And moving is such a pain. I'm getting anxious just thinking about it. :-)

My aunt and uncle are visiting us this week. They last saw Olivia when she was 7 months old, so she's a completely different baby now. Walking and talking, and she's been giving them hugs and kisses. I like that she doesn't give open-mouthed kisses like so many babies. She gives nice, dry normal smooches and I love them. I'll often pretend to cry just to get a smile and a kiss (she knows I'm kidding).

I am impatiently waiting for Harry Potter to arrive. Am@zon hasn't even sent it out yet. I may have to attack someone with a hack saw. I WANT MY HARRY POTTER BOOK AND I WANT IT NOW! I am DYING to find out how it all ends. I just hope this one is better than the last. I wasn't that impresses with the last one. In the meantime, I've found the cutest series: the "No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency". I'm only on the first in the series, but I'm already hooked. It's about a woman in Botswana who opens her own detective agency with the money from the sale of her father's cattle after his death. I like that it's in Africa because the cultural info is interesting.
I like that it has words like lekker and biltong. Good old South African words (I am so totaly obsessed). I love reading words spelled in the Bristish fashion. Words like "organised" and "neighbour". Very cool. It doesn't read like a typical mystery. It's a lot lighter, perfect for tired Mamas like me who can barely focus on a book by the time their stubborn baby is asleep.

I also ordered Olivia a book called, "Breastmilk Makes My Tummy Yummy" to which James asked, "Isn't that a bit weird?" My repsonse? A very mean look and "Absolutely not!" I think it's great! Breastfeeding is awesome and amazing and this book is the cutest. It even has a picture of a baby nursing from a "boof" on the front. She may not understand the book now, but someday, when I nurse her brother or sister, we can read the book together and she'll understand how special it is.

Speaking of BF, I was at a breastfeeding moms' playgroup yesterday, and I learned of a campaign called ban the bag. It's interesting. Check it out. I have mixed feelings. If you are formula feeding, it's very helpful I suppose, but it might sway some people toward bottles who are undecided. I know how much I wanted to nurse, but when I couldn't get Olivia to latch on, the bag, with all its samples, started to look good, but I resisted the urge. In that sense, they were a bad influence, yet I was glad to have samples. I gave them to my friend and she was grateful. I think we need to be pro-breast but not anti-formula either. Some people need to formula-feed and some want to and will regardless of what you tell them, so why not give them something free to feed their baby? Just thinking out loud (you know what I mean). I like to talk about BF with these ladies, but I think the judgement is wrong. They can be pleased with their choice, and be passionate about it, without ridiculing others. That really bothers me.

Now for a completely off topic question. Seen any good movies lately? My Netfl!x queue is seriously lacking.

The last few days....

Yesterday, we went to Market Day downtown, which is something new our town has. Although it was small and there were few vendors, I really enjoyed it. I only spent $10 and I scored homemade lavender granola w/ coconut (sooooo good!!!), fresh baked Organic garlic bread, Organic arugula, and and a homemade strawberry muffin. There were also fresh cut flowers, hand-made soaps, and other food.

Later I went to Target where I totally humiliated myself. I made a quick trip to the bathroom when we were donwe shopping, and when I was walking out of the store, I heard someone yelling, "Hey lady! Lady!" and I turned around to see this man running after me. He pointed to my backside, not quite knowing what to say to me, so I checked with my hand to see what was wrong, and I realized I had tucked my skirt almost completely into my underwear and was sporting my blue Vickies to the world. How could I NOT have felt the breeze??? I've never been so embarrassed. I wonder how many other people saw and didn't tell me?

In Olivia news, she has learned to say "hot dog" among her other words. This child is such a talker!! Makes her English teacher mother proud! She's also had a quie a growth spurt. I had to buy her new shoes, so I got these.

I really like Striderite shoes for the support they offer, but I stil like Robeez too. They are so cute!

Olivia has a new obsession with "gasses" (glasses), although as I menioned in my last entry, she thinks gassing is funny too and purposely pushes out gas and then laughs and shouts "toots!" Anyway, she's been wearing glasses all the time. We had to poke the lenses out so she can see where she's going.

Well, we're off to go suit shopping. James has some interviews coming up and wants a new suit. More about that later, but it looks as if our money is not going to be so tight anymore. Keep us in your prayers. We really need better insurance.

I'll leave you with this. What do you think it is?

I sent it to my friend as a joke. It's my dad's freckled fingers, but it looks like a flabby cellulite butt!! HAHA!

Perfectly Wonderful! (and something CRAZY!)

What could be better than South African malva pudding? This is seiously one of the best dessert I've EVER had!

Then, I had a good soak in my parents' new hot tub. It's designed so the water runs over into a moat, and then is recycled back into the tub through the jets. It's awesome!

Then, today, I attended my first ever La Leche League Meeting. I felt so at home with other co-sleeping and extended breastfeeders. I was a little skeptical at first. I worried there might be a bunch of women with 6 year olds hanging off their boobies, but everyone seemed friendly and quite normal. Then there was one weird part. I was talking about Olivia and my moms' group, and when I stopped, a lady, Trisha, asked me, "What's your name again?" So I told her and she said, "Wait. Are you Teatopia?" I almost fell out of my chair. Apparently, she knows Lisanne in real life and Lisanne gave her my blog address. How cool is that? I laughed and told her she probably knows more about me than she ever needed to know. LOL!

Make a little extra money!

Usually, these things are crap, but I've actually made $20 doing these stupid surveys. I know a few other people who have, too.

Sign up to take online surveys and then refer others.

If you want to sign up, use this link. The more people you refer, the more you make!

Check it out!

Private Page

** COMMENTS FOR THIS ENTRY HAVE BEEN CLOSED DUE TO SPAMMERS. PLEASE CONTACT ME DIRECTLY FOR ACCESS: hannah at teatopia.net **

Ok, so my "private" blog is up and running. Girls only please because my first post is about my disease/health condition and it's pretty personal. Please leave a comment (be sure to include your e-mail address when you fill out your info) and I'll send out a mass e-mail through MT (at least I think I can) with the url and password in the next day or so. And please, if you are someone who knows me in real life, that's fine, but let me know who you are. It's only fair since I'm sharing my deepest, darkest secrets. :)

Thanks!

Yucky

Warning, TMI to follow!

I haven't been feeling so hot the last couple days. I went jogging yesterday in the awful heat, which didn't help. I usually go 4 miles (why aren't I a size 2??) but only went 2-3 because of the heat. I HATE the humidity here. It's totally opressive! I also feel yucky because Aunt Flo is here, AGAIN. I've always had a short cycle (around 23 days), but this time, it was something like 17. I feel bloated and moody, but I'm just spotting. I'm not sure what's up and why I'm not having a real period. And no, I'm not pregnant, but MF is!!! I'm so excited for her! I'm also having some complications from a condition I have. I think I'll save that for my private blog, which is almost ready. The disease I have is really not something you'd tell everyone. It's not contagious, but just a little embarrasing. I was diagnosed at 12, and I recently learned that it contributed to the cyst I had to have removed between my breasts last summer. Lovely! I will blog about it soon. Promise.

We've been enjoying afternoon showers here, which I love. I find them cozy. Today we got stuck at Sam's Club because I did not want to go all the way to my car with Olivia in the terrential rain, so my grandma and I shopped around Sam's Club and I ended up buying more than I planned. Isn't that always the way it goes? I scored some cute Organic cotton pants for pilates. My first Organic item of clothing! Not sure how much difference it makes, but I like Organic food...

Olivia has been so funny lately. She loves to help with the laundry. I hand her items of clothing and she puts them in the dryer. The only problem is, she likes to put other things in the dryer too, so I have to be careful. Last night, I found her Dora toothbush in there.

She also has learned some new words in the last month. She likes to show everyone her teeth, or "teesh" as she calls them. She's also started telling is "luh you" although I don't think she knows what it means, only that she hears us say it.

When she sees a dog, ANY dog on TV or in person, or even a toy, she barks and barks!

She also has learned elbow, which she calls "bab-ooo" and she now says ear. If anyone goes to the bathroom, she screams "poo-poo" and "tee-tee" with much excitement. She's been pointing "down there" and saying "tee-tee", which is good because I think she gets that it comes out from there. I can hardly take her to the bathroom with me anymore because she won't stop trying to push my legs apart so she can see what's going on. She loves looking in the toilet. She also says "tissue" and enjoys wiping everyone.

She does so well verbally, but STILL isn't walking on her own. She occasionally decides to walk to the other side of the room, but then gets down and crawls and doesn't walk again the rest of the day. I know she can do it because I've seen her many times. I just don't understand why she isn't more interested in walking all the time. She doesn't seem that well balanced yet.

Tomorrow morning, I'm taking Olivia to the museum for a playgroup, and then we're going to my parent's to let out the dog. They are away for their anniversary. Other than that, I'm going to take it easy. I need to rest. My body really gets hit hard when my condition is acting up. :(

Delicious

I have some delicious photos to share: food w/ recipes and some of our chubby bunny, who thankfully still has kissably fat thighs, much to her mother's delight.

BTW, before I get started, if you haven't read my last post, you're on the doo-doo list. I want feedback! That was the weirdest experieince ever and I keep going over what I said/what I should've said. I never expected to have such an encounter! To see my ex, who lives in the midwest, at the airport leaving PA, at the SAME gate, after I'd dreamed of him the night before, TOO WEIRD!!! I can't get over it!

Now for the pics:

playing in the yard with Mommy (excuse my white-as-paper legs. Someone needs a tan!)

She kept trying to eat the gardenias! Here, she's showing dada, who's she's been calling "Dad-ee lately".

Last night, James and I went on a date. I'm ashamed to admit that it had been months, maybe 8 or 9. We have family to watch her, so it's crazy we waited that long! We really needed it. We went to a Meditteranean restaurant and then rushed back home for a little fun before picking up Olivia. Anyway, James snapped this right before we left to drop her off. I swear, I think he doesn't wait for it to focus.

I've been doing a lot more cooking. I've missed it, I just haven't been able to get back in the grove until recently.

I made these blintzes filled with berry preserves and sour cream. Divine!

I had this Orange Cream salad at James's aunt's house and quickly made it when we got back. It's so simple: pack of sugar free vanilla pudding, 1/2 cup milk, 1/4 cup sour cream, 3/4 can frozen OJ cencentrate. Mix altogether and add 2 bananas, 1 large apple, can of mandarain oranges, canned peaches, canned pinapples (all chopped) and you've got a great, HEALTHY dessert/salad. (sorry, the flash really needed to be on here)

Ranch & bacon pasta salad:

This chicken was steamed with beer, vinegar, and water. We layered the pieces like crabs in a pot with Old Bay. Probably my favorite chicken dish ever! James's pop-pop made it, gave us the recipes, and we've already made it again!

What a perfectly awesome trip! I realized that you can't really see my highlights too well in the pics I posted, so I'll have to take some more.

Amazing (and VERY weird ex encounter)

The last week of my life has been such a learning experience. I haven't even blogged because I've been really doing some soul-searching and thinking about my life. I have felt so strongly that God has been working in my life, bringing things to my attention and just generally WOW-ing me. Amazing.

James comes from a family of strong faith, although far from perfect, they are God-loving people and I felt myself grow just from being around them. I also felt God pushing me to evaluate the way I view other people-- people who are different from me. We all have our judegments. I wouldn't say I'm a particularly judgemental person, but I did grow up in a near-perfect family, sheltered from those different than me and spending a week with people who are very different from me, yet have the same core faith, really opened my eyes. I already loved James's family, but for some reason, this time, I really fell in love with them. There were many tears when we parted ways Monday morning. I miss them so much. We had so many great conversations and it they meant so much to me!

I also had the privledge of learning more about someone who has always intrigued me, James's Uncle George. He's the one who laid hands on James and healed him when he had a horrible type of epilepsy. It was so bad that he had to wear a helmet and he was eventually going to be severely brain damaged from the almost-constant seizing. Although I grew up Christian, it always seemed weird to me that his uncle healed him. It seemed silly, happy-clapper-ish. But now that I know more about his uncle, I believe it. His faith was amazing, yet he wasn't always faithful. He actually reminds me of C.S. Lewis, who waivered in his faith throughout his whole life. When he was close to God, he was VERY close, and when he wasn't, he was far away. George was a walking encyclopedia of knowledge about the bible and many other Christian books. He was fascinating when I met him, but sadly, I never got the chance to speak with him further because he died in October 2005. Just before he died, he had lapsed in his faith again and had been drinking, but just before the accident that killed him, God spoke to his sister (James's aunt Melissa who we stayed with) and told her in a dream that George needed to come back to him. And he did, just before he died. There are many other too-much-to-be-a-coincidence type things that led up to his death, and I felt a stronger faith hearing George's story.

I just finished reading "He Came to Set the Captives Free" last night, which was recommended by James's mom and aunt. Amazing and freaky! A must read for any Christian.

But perhaps the oddest thing to happen on my trip took place in the airport. I think it has got to be the strangest thing to ever happen to me, and the most bittersweet. I'd like to give you some history on this person, but don't feel comfortable to be doing so on this blog. I am in the process of setting up another so I can write privately from time to time, like Chas. I will have a "sign-up" when it's ready. Anyway, let me suffice with this: there was a man I once loved with my whole heart before James. We were together for more than three years. In some ways, it was a relationship of obsessive love, and although I love James more than I loved him, the relationship haunts me. In fact, I dreamed of him the night before we left, which was so weird. I woke up thinking, "huh?". I think it's been unsettled subconsciously because I never really mourned the relationship. It ended suddenly, and I met James so soon after that I never quite recovered. I'm hesitant to call James a rebound because generally a rebound is someone you go out with because you want to dive back in a relationship. It wasn't like that with James. I prayed about him and I believe whole-heartedly that God meant for me to marry him. He is my match. He gets me. Yet, in many ways, I wasn't ready emotionally for such a deep relationship, yet I was thankful for it. Anyway, before James there was Doug. I've mentioned him before. Doug lives in the midwest (no details). I've talked to him a couple times in the last few years via IM, but it had been a while this time, and I never thought I'd talk to him again.

Well, as James and I were eating lunch at the airport Monday afternoon, I heard Doug paged. His name isn't that common (Doug isn't his real name), but it's not so different that someone else couldn't have the same name. James and I looked at each other and I kind of froze. James assured me it wasn't him because it was an airport-wide page and it was probably someone with the same names considering we were in Maryland and Doug lives in the midwest. I jokingly told James we should sneak a peak (have you seen "Only You" when they page Damon Bradley? If you have, you know what I'm talking about), but James reminded me that we didn't even know where they'd paged him to. We went on eating our lunch. A while later, I was sitting at our gate, and I felt someone looking at me. I looked up, and there was Doug, sitting at MY GATE, beginning to approach me. I don't think my heart has ever pounded so hard. I was shocked. I had just dreamed about him the night before. Suddenly, I felt silly, knowing that I was heavier and dumpy looking (I was in comfy travel attire). It's not that I wanted to impress him, just that I wish I could've been prepared. What ensued was a two-hour conversation where my extremely awesome husband played with Olivia so I could talk. It sounds weird to me now, but James knows I love him, and he talked with us, even telling me later how nice Doug was. I have a very awesome husband, and I only hope that faced with the same situation, I'd have the same confidence that James has. I think I would've been jealous. Maybe that's a girl thing? I felt like there was real closure after talking to him. We've both changed so much, and I can honestly say that if I was single and meeting him again, or even meeting him for the first time and not having a past with him, I would NOT have been interested. In fact, it was hard to see what I used to see in him. He looks the same, but there was no spark. Nothing. And it gave me such relief because I felt like I let him go. It's not that I still had feelings for him, because I definitely didn't, but it's a part of my life that seemed unfinished because I simply closed that door when we parted. There was no grieving, analyzing, anger, pain, nothing. I simply met James and went on. Not healthy. I KNOW, in my heart of hearts, that God arranged this meeting. It's ironic that Doug told me how sheltered he thought I'd been, that I didn't understand the real world or those different from me. At first I was offended that he'd speak so plainly to me after so long, but then I realized. He was affirming the same thing God had laid on my heart already. Doug is not a Christian (a very big part of our relationship ending), but I still believe God arranged this. What are the chances otherwise? He wasn't even on my flight! He was on a delayed flight leaving after ours at the same gate, traveling to a completely different state than he lives in. He said that just a few days back, he was passing through Atlanta and thought of me because he knew I lived somewhere in Georgia. We agreed to keep in touch, but in thinking about it, maybe that's not such a good idea. All's been said. There's closure (at least for me, I'm not sure he needed any), yet there's a part of me that's curious and would like to keep in touch. There are no feelings left. I'm sure of that. I sat right there and looked into those baby blues that used to drive me crazy, and I thought, "did I REALLY love this man THAT much?" I know one thing, it made me happy I married James. It made me appreciate him more and thank God for sending me a Christian man with strong morals and a good work ethic.

You know, I may just be done with the whole Doug thing. I don't think I want to tell you our history because it's done. It's over and I love James, the man I was meant to marry. But I still want a private blog, so I'll keep you posted on that.

For now, here are some special pictures from the last week.

Five generations (from left to right: Olivia's great great grandmother, great grandmother, James, James's mom, and then Olivia in the front):

Olivia is even more obsessed with balls since the trip because her cousins like sports. She screamed the day after we got back because I had one of those small, round watermelons in the grocery cart and she wanted it. She screamed "BA! BA!" over and over again!

I have more, but didn't finish uploading them. James just grabbed my camera. We had to call the cops last night on some drunk teens partying behind our house because the almost ran us over (they did hit a curb and they tossed beer cans in our yard while we were standing outside. Tonight, they're back and James is trying to videotape them (not smart). He called the cops again. Our neighborhood is not trashy, but lately there have been some low down things going on. He's telling me the neighbor called the cops too. Gotta go.

BUSY, BUSY BEE!

There's so much to do today! AAAAAH!

I have to:

>meet mom from playgroup to buy carseat (we want an extra for my mom's car)

>replace O's outfit that got damaged in the wash (color catchers do not always work!)

>go grocery shopping

>go to Target for last minute trip things

>get gas

>make a million sandwiches for a wedding tomorrow

>attend rehearsal dinner tonight

Yesterday, I went and bought a dress for me for the wedding, went to the post office to mail a package, returned something at Kohl's, returned libary books!

And there's still tons to do this weekend. Oh, and my parents are moving so we need to help.

It's going to be NUTS for the next few days.

Thanks!!!

Thank you so much for your feedback. I think I'm going to take a middle ground approach. I'll continue with my normal routine like it's a very normal thing. Nursing at 13 months? No big deal. When Olivia points at my boobs and yells "boof!" (used to be boo-boo, now she says "boof") I'll go quietly to our room and nurse her. And if we're somewhere I can't have privacy, I'll be ready with a cover. If they ask (which they inevitably will), I'll explain that I believe nursing is healthy and that Olivia isn't ready to wean. There. Now why was I so worried? (the answer is because I feel the need to please everyone) I wish I had more confidence in myself and my decisions. Your reassurance really helps a lot. Thanks. :-)

I just love talking to all of you. This blog is such an important part of my life. I know support and advice are always available through this blog, and I am so thankful for that. You all rock!

Well, I'm off to read before bed. I STILL have a little left of "The Power of One" and I am determined to finish by the weekend. I haven't taken this long to read a book in 15 years! I've been reading most nights, but I fall asleep so quickly lately. I have about 10 books lined up to read next, and I'm also helping start a book club within my moms' group, so I've got to get this book done. BTW, has anyone read "Memoirs of a Boy Soldier" or "A Thousand Splendid Suns"? Those are 2 on my list.

Noodle Puppets and more

We've been busy the last several days. Lots of exercising, good food, and visiting with family. My aunt and uncle (my mom's bro) are visiting, which is always fun. My aunt has been a member of the same book club for at least a decade, and I always know I'll be reading good books after she leaves. She always has the best recommendations. Today, all the girls went for tea! We had so many yummy sandwiches and sweets. I forgot to take pictures because I couldn't stop stuffing my mouth. Thank goodness for those 4 miles I power walked yesterday! If it wasn't for the HORRIBLE air quality from all the fires in GA, I'd be out working my rear some more. Seriously though, the air is smokey and stinky, and we're 200 miles away from the fires!

With James on break from school, we've been cooking up some yummy things, like baked tilapia with a tropical salsa:

Healthy veggie sandwiches for me:

Last night, we enoyed some not-so-healthy food at Olivia Garden. Olivia had a blast. She's been really into finger puppets lately, and last night, she took a big tube shaped noodle and put it on her little finger and waved it around at everyone. She made it say "hi" to all of us, using this high voice like I use. My mom's a drama teacher and thought it was quite brilliant that Olivia understood the concept of creating a character.

She's learning so much everyday. Her vocabulary is probably around 35 words. Her newest ones are "juice", "poo-poo" (which she says during diaper changes), "apple" and people's names. We're teaching her to say the names of James's family members so she knows them when we go up in a couple weeks. She says "pop pop" and for Missy, "ees ees". She's so much fun! She's still not walking independently though, which worries me a little even though I tell myself I shouldn't. Sometimes I worry she's not balancing herself well. I have a friend whose son has balancing issues, but I keep hoping she's just not ready to walk and will be fine when she's ready. She took a few steps last week, so I know she can do it. I'm not going to rush her, so we'll wait and see.

I've been a slacker in the picture department, so here are some newer ones.

Going for ice cream has become a hot weather evening favorite! We get the free kiddie cone for Olivia, and (somewhat) healthy sugar free shakes for us. Trying to lose weight SUCKS!

She's been doing this a lot lately. She even walks like this sometimes, on all fours like a primate. It's so funny. Maybe this is a step closer to walking??

Hmmm... I think maybe it's time to pack this thing up! The weight limit is 20 pounds and we're just about there. I've been wondering, where do you all change your bigger babies (bigger being too big for a pack 'n play changing table)?? We don't have a changing table. I do have the dresser with space for the pad, but I have things on it. I suppose I should clear it off. I guess I could use the bed. What do you use?

I hope you're all having a great Memorial Day weekend. I plan on making green tea ice cream for Monday. I'm sure Olivia will LOVE that! What are your plans? Well, we're off to buy diapers and prunes (what a combo). I think Olivia has been eating too much cheese. I've noticed she's been straining a lot. I hope I don't end up with the opposite problem now!

Busy Weekend!

**UPDATED: HAIR PICS and more**

Whew! We were busy this weekend! We had a family reunion on Saturday for my dad's side (mnostly relatives I don't know), then a retirement party that night for a family friend, and then yesterday we went to Montgomery, AL to look for things for my parents new house. Poor Olivia is so tired! (not to mention me, but my sleeping needs have taken a back seat)

Olivia has become much harder to go places with because she's so much more independent and wants to do what she wants. She's into everything (although she's been doing that since she's been crawling) but now, it's harder to control her because she gets mad. She's so funny though and I love watching her grow into a little girl instead of just a baby.

Although we usually read to her, she enjoys reading to herself, too:

She's still completely obsessed with brushing her own teeth:

and the dog's, which she has done several times now:

Even her little body is looking less like that of a baby. She's thinned out (although the top of her thighs are still kissably fat).

I've actually been a little worried that she's gone from being pleasantly plump to quite tall and thin, but she eats well (some table food, some jarred food, and lots of nursing!) The doctor isn't worried, so I shouldn't be either.

I have more pictures to post (hair pics! I took some!) and others ,but she is yelling and pulling at my shirt. She's exhausted from this weekend and has been fussy ALL day. Please check back later. I'll add them to this entry.

Edited to add:

The results of the hair dye are in! I certainly didn't end up with the light brown the box said I'd have, so now I look like a Pamela Anders@n wanna-be!

Olivia's new favorite game: peeka-boo in the car! She pulls the blanket over her head, and waits for me to ask, "Where's Olivia?" and then she pulls off the blanket and squeals. She started doing this a few months ago, but now she's into it hardcore and we play it everytime I'm in the backseat with her!

Where's Olivia? You can see her chubby little hands holding up the blanket all on her own.

She's always so excited when she pulls off the blanket and I make a fuss over seeing her! So precious!

Check, check!

Tonight my mom came over for a while to hang out with Olivia, and I got some things done. I used to hate cleaning, but now I love it. It relaxes me and gives me this huge sense of accomplishment!

Tonight, I...

~ mopped the kitchen foor
~ mopped both bathroom floors
~ did laundry
~ baked homemade yeast rolls (the dough was made in my new breadmaker!)
~ make a roast in the crockpot (but that was started earlier today)
~ vacuumed

It feels so good to check things off my never-ending list! James will have a break soon, and then only 2 more months of grad school, so soon I'll no longer be a single parent, because that's what it's felt like. It's hard on both of us.

Tomorrow morning, I've got stroller exercise, which I co-host with MF 3 days a week. I volunteered to be one of the organizers because I knew it would make me go to all of them! James and I are talking about baby #2 and I'm no where near my goal weight. I at least want to tone my belly, although I think some of it's just loose skin. James said that we'll get me a tummy tuck after I finish having babies. I wouldn't have any other plastic surgery, but I would have excess skin cut off for sure! I also have pilates tomorrow night, which I love. Although it hurts, I like feeling my abs burn the next day because it means it's working!

James got me a cute tote bag to carry my mat. I really want my own ball because I hate sitting on one that someone sat on with their sweaty butt, but it's too big to carry to class! I just bought some new yoga pants last week, so I'm one stylish chic!

Well, off to read more of "The Power of One" and hopefully finish it soon! I haven't taken this long to read a book in years! And I have like 8 more I am dying to read!

This one's random!

This entry may seem a bit disjointed. I couldn't narrow down what I wanted to write about, so I decided to write about it all!

First, I didn't mean to imply in my last entry that Olivia is a late walker at 12 months. I know this is the average age. It's more that I believe she WILL be a late walker. Her lack of interest in walking coupled with the fact that she's never been interested in doing anything physical particularly early, I've just figured she's got a while. However, she seems to have a new-found interest in walking the past few days, so maybe I should just eat my words!

Today is really hot, but it's also gorgeous, so Olivia met B for coffee and strolled along a shopping center. I had to return this movie to B that he wanted me to see. It's a gay parody of American Pie, and although parts were funny, it was a bit crude for me. It did make me laugh though. James asked why B wanted me to see it. I have no idea, but he's so good to me, so I figured I'd humor him. It was definitely interesting . . . After coffee, I browsed some stores for a picture to put above my couch. I'm doing some (cheap) redecorating and organizing. Last night, while Olivia was sleeping in her crib (yes! in her crib! for a few hours!), I cleaned and organized the living room and dining room. I think watching HGTV has suddenly put me into a funk about my house. When we bought the house, we bought new furniture for about half the rooms, but sadly, because no one much sees the master bedroom, it's been seriusly neglected. So when the bottom of one of my dreser drawers gave out the other day, I decided it was time for some change! James told me that I shouldn't stuff so many clothes into the drawers, and although he's probably right, we need new furniture anyway! I plan on tearing down the border in our kitchen I've never really liked, and doing some other inexpensive changes. If we stay in this house, it'll be nice to have change, and if we sell it, these changes will make it more sellable! James will get a raise when he finishes his master's this summer, and we're talking about maybe moving a bigger house. We'd ultimately like to move out of this area because we miss the snow and people here can't drive worth crap (more on that later), but we'd like to move north when my parents do, and that won't be for 3 years or so, but probably no more than that. They are moving to another house in a few weeks, and it would be financially bad if they didn't stay at least a couple years. I'm fine with staying here a few more if I know we'll move somewhere else after that.

As for the drivers, people here run red lights constantly, and no one, and I mean NO ONE, pays a bit of attention to the yield signs. People will practically run you off the road "merging" into your lane. And I'm not exaggerating or being overly sensitive. I learned to drive in the DC area, so I know bad drivers, and I can tell you, although there are far fewer drivers here, they are much worse. I see more accidents here than I did there. I think it's because people are more conscious in cut-throat driving areas like DC. You have to be. Here, it's like they are oblivious. That's my theory anyway. I can't imagine why else it would be worse in a not-so-big-town like here.

Brushing Olivia's teeth has become part of our daily routine. I originally thought there'd be no way she'd let me brush her teeth without putting up a good fight. She never lets me check her mouth for teeth, and she hates me to cut her nails, or any other thing that requires her to stay still. She's even a very distracted nurser during the day. But from the start, I made it a point to make brushing her teeth fun. I'd sing songs, and make noises, and tickle the top of her mouth, and now she loves it! She opens her mouth immediately when she sees me putting toothpaste on her toothbrush. She loves it so much, that yesterday, she spent nearly 30 mins brushing her own teeth.

Finally, I took it away from her and she got really upset.

I've also been thinking about this friend I have. I always seem to attach myself to people who suck the life right out of me. There's a difference between friends who need help and genuinely deserve it (I hate to put it like that, like it's my place to judge who deserves it, but you know what I mean), but what about people who make foolish choices and don't try very hard, and then expect everyone else to pull them out of it? I once had a friend like this who literally used me for everything she could. I'm such a sucker when it comes to situations like this because I wanted to help her. That's what Christians are supposed to do. But where do you draw the line? She came to my house at all hours of the night because she'd have a fight with her boyfriend (and later husband). I'd change the sheets in the guest room just to have her back a few night later. She had no money because she couldn't make good decisions, so I often bought her lunch, coffee, etc. She'd spend money on her b/f, or on fancy wine, and then not have money to pay bills. ??????? There were a few times we bought their dinner (hers and her husband's) and they never reciprocated and finally, I felt like I was being stepped on, so I gradually stopped making myself available to her, and it stopped. Thank God. The friend I have now isn't really like this (not asking for stuff), but talks all the time about she has no money, even for things for her child, but then she doesn't really work. She could be getting help from the govt, but she doesn't. If I go to lunch, she complains that she can't go because she has no money, and then I feel like I should offer, but why should I? She hasn't fallen on hard times. She just doesn't make good choices. I don't want to get suckered in, because like I said, I am a sucker. A big one. Last night, she called MF to ask if she could mow her lawn for $$, and MF felt bad because she didn't need her to mow her lawn, and we all know she couldn't mow MF's lawn anyway because she has a baby and nothing to do with him, so is MF supposed to babysit, while this girl mows her lawn AND pays her for a service she doesn't need??? MF is the sweetest person, and such a good friend, but I know we're both a little uncomfortable about the situation. We often make plans in secret to go to lunch because we know this other girl can't go. And we're in a position where we see her several times a week, so we can't just not hang out with her. Like I said, I am MORE than thrilled to help someone who needs it. She wants to be a work-from-home mom, but she's gotten involved with this BS pyramid scheme thing which brings in no money, and only started that recently (her son is around O's age). I've kindly tried to warn her to be careful and suggested (without trying to interfere) that if she had to pay to get this job and hasn't even made money, than it's probably bad news. What's the Christian thing to do? I get the feeling she's hinting, a lot!

Sorry for the complete randomness of this entry. Not only did I have a lot on my mind, I've had to stop a million times to play with Olivia! :-)

Rainy Day

Today was going to be a lazy rainy days. At least that's what I wanted. I always seem to find things to do, but we did enjoy a few quiet hours this afternoon, which is significant when you have a one year old! It was a good day, except for this morning. This morning was awful.

I let our two little dogs out while I fed Olivia her breakfast, and when I went to call them back in 15 minutes or so later, they weren't in our yard, which is fenced in. Then I remembered. The lawn guy had come thing morning to fertilize and spray for weeds, and he's not good about closing the gate. I wasn't sure what to do, because I knew the dogs would be far away by now. I know them. I decided to leave Olivia at home because I knew I couldn't carry her and them. She was safe and strapped in her high chair, happily eating little pieces of mango and strawberry. I ran up the street where they've gone before and from the start I was dying because my pilates teacher kicked our butts last night. I was so sore, but I ran and ran up the street. No dogs. Then I heard barking way down the road on the other side of our house, so I painfully ran back down the road, passing my house on the way to the next street. When I passed my house, I could hear Olivia crying from the street. I started to cry too, feeling like a horrible mother and not knowing what else to do. My dogs had no collars because we bathed them last night and I hadn't put the collars on yet. I was also scared because we had a scary dog loose the other night and it almost attacked me. Finally, after what seemed like forever (but not more than 10 mins), a lady down another side street asked me if I was looking for dogs, and she pointed me in the right direction. The whole way back, carrying my dogs, I thought I was going to fall. The muscles in my legs were quivering from last night. But I made it. Poor Olivia was so mad I left, that she threw all her fruit on the floor, which required much carpet cleaning. Then she punished me by demanding to be held for the next hour. I feel bad that I left, but I was never out of site from my house, and I knew she was safe. My mom said that there's always the chance that she could've choked (I always watch her eat and). I hadn't thought of that at the time. I was just so scared of my tiny dogs getting run over by all the people who speed on our street.

Ok, enough about that!

For lunch, we took Thai food to my mom, and then tonight, we went to dinner with my family and then Olivia and I headed to Target where I found the cutest stuff in the dollar section. I bought these super cute little pots that come with seeds to grow herbs. I used to cook with many different herbs and I'd like to get back in the habit. I'm trying to be more health conscious as I continue to struggle losing the weight I want and also as Olivia eats more table food. I'll share some of the healthy things I plan to make soon.

For now, I've been spending any spare time I can baking for this American Cancer Society fundraiser my moms' group is involved with, and tonight, I made some quick lemon bars while Olivia played with the dog food and pushed her new school bus all over the kitchen. She is so much fun to be with! This evening, I kept telling her that I loved her, and she said, "iluhyou" which obviously melted my heart eventhough I know she's merely repeating. She repeats many things these days. She has this guitar that plays music, and it says "yahoo!" and she sings "woowoo!" and she also repeats the "oh yeah!" She loves it so much that I've made it the official car toy so she has something to keep her busy. She's been fussier in the car lately because she doesn't fall asleep like she used to. Although I'm tired of hearing it play over and over and over again, I love listening to her sing along and repeat the sounds. So cute. I love the little voices they have at this age!

I think she's getting closer to walking. I'm torn between wanting her to start now, and enjoying her being a baby I can carry around. I'm not really worried about her behind though since she's so advanced verbally. I've just accepted that physically, she's not going to be as fast as other babies. I think all babies do things in their own time, and everyone has different strengths. I know people who did everything late as babies and they've turned out to be intelligent adults!

Milestones aside (which I hate anyway), she brings me such joy! She loves playing with her fridge letters, and so does the dog! He's eaten most of the good letters, so I can't make many words anymore. :-(

I took this picture outside of Target this evening. This rainbow went all the way across the sky. A perfect arch. It was so big, I couldn't capture the whole thing. If you look closely, you can see a smaller, fainter one next to it.

Well, good night! Have an early start tomorrow. Breakfast @ Panera and then I'm going running. Love my jogging stroller!

Bad Blogger

Oh my gosh. I've been such a bad blogger lately. Let's see...

First of all, Olivia has been fussy and feverish. I can't tell if it's from her shots or from teething, but either way, she's not happy. :-( But in spite of not feeling well, she's the cutest thing and always makes me laugh! Today, she pulled out tissue after tissue from the box, holding each one to her nose and blowing before pulling out the next one. She gets the concept of blowing, but she doesn't blow hard enough to get anything out, just to make the sound. So funny! She also is absoltely obsessed with phones. She now says "hello" and holds just about everything up to her ear.

Yesterday, we had nursery duty at church. There were 7 babies, 5 of them were screaming for the longest time. I thought I was going to go nuts. Olivia was crying out of jealousy I think because she saw me comforting the other babies, and naturally, I cared most about comforting her! Finally, three of the moms came and got their kids, so we were left with four. A much more managable number! You know, I used to think I loved all babies so much and I thought I could change any of them or wipe any of their noses. I'm beginning to think that's not true. I still love babies, but I really don't like changing other kids' poop (and boy did I yesterday! So did James. Go him!) and I had snot on my shirt and in my hair. Yuck! But with Olivia, or another baby I know (like MF's baby), I really wouldn't care. Olivia decided she'd join the poop club and had a blow out all over her new mongramed bloomers. I'll have to post a pic later!

Speaking of pics, I know, I know! Hair pictures! I haven't picked up a camera in days. I will take one though. Things have just been hard between Olivia not feeling well and James being gone a lot lately. It's crunch time for him because he is finishing up grad school (only a few weeks left this summer) and he's been so busy! We are really proud of him though. He was nominated for an elite honors society and we attended the initiation yesterday. My mom had to stand outside with poor Olivia since she was so fussy!

I feel like all I've been doing is comforting O and baking. Saturday, I baked a butterscotch pound cake and oh my freaking goodness! It was so good! Then, I had to bake cookies last night for this American Cancer Society bake sale, and then tonight, two dozen cupcakes for a moms's group thing. Not an easy task with Olivia, so my mom helped watch her. Speaking of my moms' group, there's been some petty stuff going on the past few days. Our message board is filled with nasty drama. It feels like high school again. I decided to stay out of it, but the more it goes on, the more I want to tell them to have some class! Ugh. It's hard to be the bigger person and I must say, our organizer is handling it with class and style. Some of the beef is with her, and she hasn't said anything nasty. I just hate the women can be so petty. Men don't seem to get like that. Some of these moms are acting like children, when we're supposed to be the parents here!

Off to catch up on my blog reading before bedtime. I'm so tired!

But first, something to make you laugh!

You can make one here!

Hair, 12 month appt, and other stuff

Well, I did it. I dyed my hair from a box that lied. It was supposed to be darker, but now my hair is lighter than it was before on the bottom, and only slightly lighter on top. At least it's blended a bit better. At first the top was red and I freaked out, but it faded thank goodness!

Olivia had her 12 month appointment a few days ago and has been a bit under the weather since then. Poor baby. It went well, except for the shots. They pricked her finger to do a standard anemia test, which was normal, and she didn't mind that at all, but she cried huge crocodile tears after the shots. I actually started to cry too. I was really good the last few times, but for some reason, it was harder to watch this time.

I was a bit surprised by her heght and weight. She's 30 inches, which I believe is normal, but she's only 19 lbs, 6 ozs which is small (25th percentile). She was so big up until about 9 months. She's a good eater and she nurses half the night! That's got to count for something. Those of you with babies around a year (or if you have a good memory), what does/did your baby weigh? I'm curious.

Other things I wanted to mention:

-- Last night, Olivia got a Tide pen out of my purse and started wiping it on her shirt. Perhaps this is further proof that I'm a bit OCD. The poor child has started to copy my behavior!

-- Then this morning, she found a Q-tip on the floor and tried to stick it in her ear. It was one of the safety ones with the large bulbs, thank goodness.

-- Last night, she walked only holding on to one of my hands. Progress!

-- My mom let her taste her iced tea, and then when she offered Olivia her sippy cup of milk, Olivia screamed "NOOOO!" and pointed to the tea. Sheesh. We've entered the "no" phase. She's now said it a few times.

The incident in the cafe

Yesterday, I was embarrassed. REALLY embarrased. Pulling my pants down in front of 20 convicts? Cake! Oh, and this one hurts, a lot! So I was in Barnes and Noble yesterday while running last minute errands for the party this afternoon (and I don't even know how many people are coming-- people can be so rude) and I was walking to the table where my mom was sitting with Olivia, and the next thing I know, I'm flying across the floor and crashing into a display, knocking a bookshelf several feet away and most of it's contents on the floor. There were travel mugs everywhere! My foot started aching immediately, and I was disoriented from slamming into the shelf. Finally, after a few seconds, I got up to look at what the hell just happened. There was a puddle of coffee on the floor and me and my slippery-bottomed flip-flops went sailing through it. The people behind the counter, who all know me since I'm in there a few days a week, said NOTHING. Not "are you ok?" or "what happened?" Nothing. Nada. Zilch. They just went on calling out drinks at the bar. Um, hello? Half your merchadise is on the floor and I can barely walk! Then Olivia started to cry after seeing me fall. That made me more upset because I had scared her.

Finally, after a minute or two of the employees ignoring us, while other customers are helping to pick up the mess and help me, my mom (who had been trying to calm Olivia down-- what I cared about most) went up to the counter and said, "you know, you'd think someone would've come to see if my daughter is ok. We're in here all the time and you know who we are. That's bad customer service!" and then, all of a sudden, they were concerned. HA! Oh wait! But get this! Before my mom said all that, one guy did come out from behind the counter, to mop up the coffee and didn't say a WORD to me. Are you believing this?

So we did an incident report because my foot was bruised and swollen almost immediately, and we told the manager how rude the cafe staff was. My mom said she saw them laughing. LAUGHING! I was embarrased enough, even though it's not like I just tripped randomly. The floor was all wet! Also, the three people working are not teenagers or something. They are at least all my age, and I know I'd have enough class and know-how to check on a customer!

I decided to try to drive home because James was still a work, and I didn't want to have to worry about getting my car home later, and when I turned on my car, the "service engine soon" light stayed on the entire time I drove home. Also, my airbag light has been staying on longer than usual, but they said that was ok. Still, I had to fight with James to take it in this morning so I can have my car asap. We have a busy had ahead of us with the party and all, and I still have errands to run since the little accident yesterday kept me from finishing them. He wanted to mow the lawn, but I told him to get his butt to the dealership! I'm still waiting to here. Hope it's something easy. And cheap!

Well, I hear James. Off to check!

A surprise in my grocery store and what I HATE about the south

I have about a million pictures to post of Olivia (cute ones!!! She's actually blowing into a flute and making notes!) and also some pictures to go with a couple recipes. They'll have to wait though because I left my camera at my parents' house. I've been trying to get a picture of her showing us her teeth. She opens her mouth and points to them when we ask, and she'll also stick out her tongue on command, but my camera is so SLOW! When she sees the camera, she stops what she's doing to reach for it. :-(

I am starting to really like where we live. There are things I'm always going to hate (rebel flags, ignorant people, prejudice, and poor English) but I think we're starting to catch up with the real world. FINALLY. Yesterday, I'm grocery shopping and see cart after cart full of baby food on clearance. I check he dates, and nope, they're not old. Hmmm . . . I'm wondering why they'd clear out the baby food, so I head to the baby aisle and what do I see? Shelf after shelf of lovely, healthy Organic food. Earth's Best and lots of Gerber! Yippeee! No more going to Atlanta, ordering off the internet, and paying an arm and a leg at the tiny health food store here when they actually have some in. Yay! Wonderful, pesticide-free food for my baby!!! Several people have asked me what I plan to do later when she's eating all "real" food. I've read numerous times that baby's systems are much more sensitive to chemicals and pesticides than adult bodies, so it won't be as big of a deal later, although I'll continue to buy a few essential Organic items.

Ok, after praising our town for it's expansion of Organic food, I'm going to do a complete 180 here. I hope I don't sound bitchy, because I'm not meaning to, but something that really bothers me about the south-- ok, two things-- is 1) there seem to be so many unkempt children, or I'm noticing it more here because we lived in a wealthy area up north, and 2) the obsession with confederate flags. Hello!!! The war is over and BTW, Georgia lost!!!!! People proudly display them in front of their homes, on their cars, tattooed to their asses, and well, just about everywhere else. To me, it represents a time when blacks and whites were separated, and the black people had no rights. If I was black, seeing this flag would offend me and hurt me. Let's celebrate the present and embrace equality! It's one thing to be proud of where you live, but why not display our current flag? It shows how far we've come, which is definitely something to be proud of.

And as for the dirty children. I see a few kids a day, walking without shoes, in PUBLIC! We're not talking about playing outside barefoot when we were kids. We all did that. I'm talking about walking around the grocery store shoe-less. Even kids in my moms group are dirty. Many of them moms are clean, decent people, but some of their are kind of slobby and unkempt looking. I'll admit, I don't always have time to do my hair and make-up, and quite frankly, with Olivia attemping to flush herself down the toilet when I get ready, I can't really take much time for myself. What I'm talking about it just being unkempt and greasy. It saddens me to see kids who need a bath desperately. I know all kids spill food (don't I know it), but you can tell the difference between a kid who has just eaten lunch (like mine) and a child whose nails are filthy and their clothes are ripped and nasty. And just to clarify-- it's not that they can't afford a laundromat. The majority of them are military and have enough money to eat out regularly with my moms' group and go to Starbucks. Some of the moms just lack class. Wash your kids' clothes. Give them a bath! Put some shoes on them!

Saturday

Ugh! I'm so fed up with whatever is going on with my blog! And I lost some of my pics. I'll try to fix it later. I have some new ones to upload anyway.

This coming week is going to be so busy! We have to get ready for the trip, which for me means making many lists and checking things off as I go, and then making updated lists. I'm like that-- very organized and methodical. James sincerely believes I have a mild case of OCD. I'd have to agree! I remember I had something with one hand, I had to touch it with the other. Now I sound a little crazy, but that's what I did! I don't even think about that kind of thing anymore though. Now I obsess about other things, like making lists! :-)

This week, I have my morning jogging (go me! My ass is totally shrinking... now if I could just suck it up and weigh myself.. too scared!). Tuesday, my mom and I are making a trip to Atlanta to go to Babies 'R Us. Wednesday we're having Ben & Joey for dinner since they're dog sitting at our house while we're gone. I made a special trip to the Asian market downtown today so I can make Ben's favorite when they come, potstickers! Then, there's all the birthday planning and buying. I need to get going on it!!!

Oh, Olivia's been doing some news things! She's so advanced in some areas, but nowhere near walking! Strange...

-- After months of watching my mom and I play songs on this little flute, she now picks it up and blows into it! She always pulls it out of her mouth between each note so she can smile. :-)

-- She's obsessed with trying to put on her own shoes and socks, which of course she can't do. She sometimes won't even let me do it because she wants to.

-- She screams "hi" and everyone we see and waves. Before it was always "bye bye", now it's "hi."

-- She can tell us where so many of her body parts are! We ask and she points to them. She knows: mouth, eye, ear, hands, shoe, hair, tummy, teeth, and earring. I love when I ask her about her teeth. She gives me a cheesey grin and rubs her finger on her teeth, and then wants to touch mine. She also understands, "put on lotion" and she rubs all over herself.

-- This past week, she tried to dust the living room like she sees me doing. She took a papertowel from me and wiped off various things in the living room. So cute!

Hodge Podge

I'm sorry my blog has been on hiatus. I'm not sure what was going on, but after a few tweaks, things seem to be ok! Whew!

I am just so thankful for my moms' group. It's funny that I don't mention it more, since it's a daily part of our lives these days. It's actually more than a moms's group-- we don't just meet once a week. There are literally 10 things to do a week, easily! We jog with our strollers MWF, and often attend other things inbetween, like dinner last night and a non/new walkers group at the museum this morning. I'm so thankful for all the support and friends I've made. Just last week, I met a mom at the park (I think I mentioned it), invited her to the moms' group and now we've been hanging out. It's so good for Olivia to have other kids to play with!

Olivia and her betrothed, Robbie (Mf's son):

Has anyone tried the new iced mocha at Buger King! Yummy! Tastes like chocolate milk with cofee flavor! I tried to find a link to it, but couldn't.

Tonight I went to see my moms' show at my old school. Once again, I sat in the audience with tears in my eyes as I watch all my babies sing and dance. It brought back so many wonderful memories of teaching. I got tons of hugs afterwards, and some of them asked me if I was coming back next year. Of course, I'm not, but I do miss them. James dropped me off and picked me up, and he brought Olivia in when he came to get me. All the kids gathered around her, played with her curls (yes, she is actually getting some hair) and she began to cry. I think it was too much for her. She's so clingy to me in large groups. I think she's just starting to feel comfortable at playgroup.

I've started giving Olivia a few ounces of whole milk a day. She still nurses a lot, but it frees me up a little to be able to give her some milk while we're out. So now, in addition to the 3 half gallons we usually have for us (Organic only comes in half gallons, and we drink A LOT of milk!), we also have a half gallon of whole milk, which lets face it, I like to drink. So many calories, but oh so good and creamy!!!

Oh, and what to do for her party? I haven't decided on ANYTHING. I'm such a slacker I can't think of a theme.

Updates and a prank call

First, the call:

Tonight, I was walking around an outdoor shopping mall after returning a book to Barnes & Noble (I joined a book club and thought the meeting was next week when actually it's tomorrow-- no time to read the book. Heard it sucked anway). So, I'm walking around looking at baby clothes at Carter's and my cell rings. It's some totally ghetto girl I could hardly understand. I really have no idea what she was saying, and so I tell her she has the wrong number and wait for her to say something. She keeps talking, oblivious, so I just hang up. Well, a few minutes later, my phone rings again and it's the same number. I decide to answer it. She doesn't even say anything for the first minute because she's yelling at someone in the backgroung. I'm listening. It's pretty funny. So finally, she comes on the line and starts talking. I have no idea what she's saying, so I tell her she has the wrong number. Then she says, "Is this Hannah?" and I'm like, "um, yeah. Who is this?" and she says, "I'm wondering if you still have that push mower for sale." Huh? Push mower? I'm not selling a push mower. So she keeps asking me about the push mower, so I finally hang up. I decide to call my sister and tell her about the ass that just called me, and when my sister answers, she's laughing hysterically. Then, I know. It was her boyfriend Marc. He's the funniest guy I know, and he can totally pull off a ghetto girl voice! HAHA!

Apparently, he got this same call earlier in the night (except his was real) and decided to do the same call to me. Except when he got the call, he played along with her. My sister told me the whole conversation.

Lady: "I'm calling about the push mower."

Marc: "What? A hand job?"

Lady: "No! A push mower! I'm looking for a push mower!"

Marc: "Oh . . . I don't have a push mower, but you want me to come do your lawn? You need your lawn did?" (yes, he said did.)

And it went on and on until finally she said:

"This isn't Melvin!" and hung up. HAHA! I love prank calls! And I especially love anyone who at the age of 35 (Marc) still thinks they're hilarious!!!!!

OK, now for the updates:

-- Remember when I posted about my biological dad? Well, I saw a wedding announcement in the paper this past weekend. His fourth marriage. It felt weird, and for some reason, it hurt.

-- I should stop seeing everything as a sign. Remember this? I gave some money to woman I thought needed help. Oddly enough, minutes before her approach, I had just been talking to someone about how God places events on our paths to test us. I think I believe that. At least I used to. Now, I just don't know. Anyway, a woman approached me tonight needing help. I'm a Christian and I'd rather help someone in the chance they're for real and let God judge the rest. But then, I'm listening to her story, and it's starting to sound really familiar. Then I figure it out. It's the SAME woman with the SAME story. I wanted to call her out on it, to tell her I knew she was lying and that I don't appreciate her trying to take what little money I've got. But I didn't. She was eyeing Olivia pretty closely, and if she had a knife or something, or a gun, I just don't want to think about it. So I told her I had no cash (not really even a lie) and left. Then I told a store manager to call the police.

Would you have called her out on it?

What is your philosophy when it comes to people begging for money? Do you refuse and assume they're a fake (when they probably are) or do you chance it and give anyway? I'm curious. I've always given money, but maybe I need to rethink it?

Happy Spring!

First of all, Happy Spring. I look forward to all the thunderstorms every year. They make me feel all cozy inside my house.

This morning, I had the most awesome jelly: strawberry & lavender preserves. Wait, that's not a jelly. What the difference between jelly and preserves anyway? I wish I knew how to make something like this. It was so yummy! There's a part of me that really wants to be all domestic, but then I go shopping instead!

My posts tend to get a bit random when I've been MIA for a couple days. I usually get online at night, but Olivia has really changed her schedule (but still is not sleeping throught the night) and I've been in bed earlier. She's been getting up earlier than she used to, so I'm trying to drag my smaller butt to bed so I don't feel like committing suicide when Olivia wakes up early.

Ok, so my butt is smaller. YIPPPPEEEEEEE! I've been walking several days a week, sometimes twice a day. The other night James and I were -------- what can I say we were doing? CAN.NOT.MENTION.THE.S.WORD!!!!!! Ack! Promised James I wouldn't write about anything too personal. People we know are reading. I mean, come on! They don't know we have sex! We're married, but I can't mention that we actually have sex!!! AH! And now I've gone ahead and said it. Ok, so the other night, James and I were spending time together, and he mentioned how much thinner I felt! Go me! I just wish I could tone the millions of folds of loose skin I have since being pregnant. I look fine until I sit down or lean over, then I look like I'm wearing an innertube!!!!

Speaking of exercise, I've been walking with moms from my group and making new friends. It's good for Olivia to be around other babies. Anyway, I feel like I finally have a circle of friends who are similar to me. It benefits me AND Olivia, which is important. After we jogged 10 laps around the track the other day, I met this cute mama at the park after Olivia and her daughter took an interest in each other. Anyway, the mom mentioned that she's just moved here and didn't know anyone (is is pathetic that I've lived here for 5 years and I don't know that many people either?). It's actually pretty common around here to be new and/or not know anyone because people are always coming and going since we're a military town. We've lost many friends to people getting trasnfered elsewhere. Anyway, the organizer of our moms' group made these little business cards for out group, and we all have them, so I gave the mama a card. I felt kind of stupid for some reason, but she's already joined!

I desperately need new shoes for jogging. Mine are old and dirty.

These are cute!

I also need another bathing suit. I don't see myself in a bikini again. Ever. Why is it so hard to find a cute one piece? Some of us have stretch marks from pregnancy!! And wrinkled skin! This one is super cute! Sexy, but it covers!

Well, I'm off to make egg salad before James comes home for lunch. Then, it's off to buy Olivia more mini bananas before our walk at 3:30!

Thinking About

. . . how excited I am about the hotel I booked for Savannah! They offer complimentary afternoon tea (sold!), a heated pool and hot tub, and we'll be just a quick walk away from great shopping and restaurants! Perfect!

. . . how much it irritates me when people don't watch their kids! We went to Chuck E. Cheese today with my moms' group, and one mom let her two year old wander around unattended nearly the whole time. The child spent most of the time going from table to table eating other kids' snacks. She came up to MF's baby and stole his fruit puffs on his tray and tried to force another kid's sippy cup in Olivia's mouth. Eeeeew! I stopped her before she could do it. Then, this other boy not affiliated with our group went around stealing tickets from people. I played several games of skee-ball (love that game!) and he tried to steal every ticket that printed as they came out. I had to push him away so I could tear off my tickets inbetween each game. He also stole my balls (haha!) and walked off with them. It shouldn't be my job to have to grab something out of a kid's hand! The other moms were warning each other to stay away from him because he wouldn't leave any of us alone. He followed me for an hour and not once did his mom check in with him! It ruins a fun time when you have to constantly monitor what other peoples' kids are doing! Some parents KILL ME! Makes we wonder if our organizer really said anything about monitoring our kids like she said she would? At least Olivia had fun. :-)

I just love her ears. They're like mine as a baby, but mine stuck out more!

Here's me and my puffy cheeks. My cheeks aren't even that puffy usually, but they always looks so round when I smile!

. . . how clever I am! Olivia has decided she wants nothing to eat but bananas. She screams several times a day and points to where our fruit dish is on the counter. Some days she eats two whole bananas. Can you overdose on potassium??? So, anyway, I decided to buy her the mini bananas. That way, she can have a few a day, and it's like she only ate one big one. Who's a clever mommy? (Actually, I'm really not. My grandma told me that my cousin buys them for his baby. HAHA!)

. . . what a little menace my baby has become. She can't even walk, but she gets into everything! I only turned my back for a SECOND! I was even in the same room!

. . . how cute my Livvy is!

. . . about moving my blog???? Still thinking. Leaning towards staying here I think. Too lazy to take on a second blog. Actually, it would be a third because I write at Mommy Musings too!

new friend and blogging dilemna--- HELP!!

First, let me say how much fun I had today! Olivia and I met a new friend at a gorgeous park nearby and walked with our strollers for what seemed like miles. The trail is nice and straight-- much easier for my jogging stroller to navigate than where we normally go. It's such a busy area, almost like a smaller Central Park or something. It just makes the time pass by much more quickly to have someone to talk to, even if I was completely out of breath! It's also neat because both of us want to try for baby #2 sometime this summer (I'll talk more about this later as we discuss it more), so we both want to get in shape! She's closer though than I am! Then, I got the sweetest e-mail from her saying what a nice time she had and that we should do it again! I felt like I did in high school when I made a new friend. I guess friends are important at any age and make us feel so much better!

OK, now on to my blog dilmena . . .

I asked you all a while back to answer some questions about your blog: are you anonymous? Does anyone who knows you in real life read it? When I posted that entry, I was starting to struggle with the fact that so many who know me read this. This blog started as something for fun. A place I could post family pictures and recipes. But then, it quickly became an outlet for me to vent, and through venting, I began to slowly expose myself, sometimes sharing a little more than I'd want those who know me in real life to know. There are a few people who read this who I talk to completely openly anyway (Entsar & Rebecca for example), but there are others who probably see a completely different side of me through my blog, and probably judge me just a little for posting about such personal topics. I'm not crude per se, but I have made references to my sex life a few times. I've also talked about family issues. But one thing has been constant: I never really have felt free to relax on here and say whatever I want-- often, what I really want to say.

Lately, I learned that news of my blog has spread. Some friends I didn't tell about my blog have found out and are reading. Much of my family reads it, which is fine, but I don't want to offend anyone. I admire people like Tertia. The whole world knows about her blog-- even her neighbor-- and she still feels free to post pictures of her arse (as she calls it) when she had a spider bite and she makes references to her sex life on occassion. It's not that I want you to see my ass, or that I particularly want to tell you about my sex life (or lack there of considering there's a baby in our bed, but that's another issue entirely). See? I don't even know if I should've said that!!!!!!

So, I'm thinking . . . maybe I should set up some sort of family-friendly blog with the things they really want to see: pictures of Olivia, family news, recipes, etc. and then I can have another anonymous blog where I can say more inappropriate things, if the mood moves me to. James asked me why I just don't keep a diary? I used to, but it wasn't nearly as much fun! I didn't have all my friends inside the computer to interact with, although I swear I'm getting less interesting as evident by my lack of comments lately. DOES ANYONE STILL LOVE ME????

Then there's the dilemna of moving. I suppose I could e-mail those who read regularly, and the lurkers, well, I guess they'd be screwed. :-) Or I could stay here, watch what I say, and not have to worry about setting up a new blog.

Hmmm . . . what to do???

Or, I could scrap the whole thing and find a new outlet, but something tells me, I'd miss all of you terribly.

Lost doggy, trip to ATL, BLOG DILEMNA

So one day last week, this little doggy ran into my house when I opened the door. Can't remember which day is was exactly because I am so sleep-deprived (don't even get me started) and time is relevant these days. Anyway, it was sometime in the last several days. It was a little beagle with big, sad eyes. We thought she might've been hungry, but she looked well taken care of and didn't seem to be hungry. She wasn't wearing a collar though and she was obviously scared and looking for some love. Our two dogs immediately went nuts and James said she could not stay. There are always dogs wandering around our neighborhood, and we have the piles of pooh in our yard to prove it. We assumed it was one of our neighbor's dogs, and James put the dog back outside. I felt sad, but I knew we couldn't keep it, especially with our dogs. It just made me sad because it hung around our yard for a while before it finally wandered off.

So, today we're taking a walk, and there are posters on this missing dog. I felt so badly. I should've kept her in my backyard, but I just didn't know. We could've been $200 richer too because the owners are offering a reward, but I probably wouldn't have taken it anyway. I did call them though to tell them I'd seen her. They didn't even thank me. How are people so thoughtless? I even gave them detailed directions to my neighborhood (they lived several neighborhoods away, so apprently this little doggy had gotten around). I've been keeping an eye out for her. I hope they find her. I'd die if something happened to our dogs!

We had a great time in Atlanta yesterday visiting with my uncle and aunt. It feels weird to call them that considering they aren't but a few years older than us! We went to a fairly authentic Mexican restuarant several blocks from their hotel. I love getting out and walking. It was super windy though and cold up there, but I enjoyed walking and talking with them. I hope we can see them again soon. It was nice being with an intelligent, wordly couple we could really talk to. We are so desperate for couples to hang out with, although we have a baby and James doesn't have much time. Things will be so different when James finishes grad school this summer!

So, tomorrow, I have the blog dilemna I want to discuss. I don't want to shut down I don't think, but if I move, I don't want to post where I'm going either. Not sure. I am pretty open on my blog, and a lot of people who know me read this. People I wasn't even aware of. Will discuss tomorrow.

Getting my groove back, post-preggo periods, and a little trip to Atlanta

So today, I had lunch with some of the moms from my moms' group at this awesome new Japanese Habachi place called Fuji. Last night, after writing my pathetic depressing post, I decided to remedy things, so I picked out an outfit (which I had to scrap today because it was so freaking cold, but I ended up with another I like) and decided I would accessorize! I even picked out earrings and wore my cute little ballet flats. The whole way to the restaurant I felt better. I noticed myself singing along with the radio and just generally feeling better. I even got hit on today. Ok, so it was a stock boy at the grocery store, but hey, it doesn't happen every day, especially not with Olivia with me. Although sometimes, you'd be surprised. Oh, I wanted to take pictures of myself, but Olivia was so active at the restaurant, and I just didn't get the chance. All she wanted was my food, and she kept putting all her finger foods on another baby's high chair tray. He was delighted!

I felt sad this afternoon though after Olivia picked out a shiny Tinkerbell balloon at the grocery store-- that's her latest obsession, balloons-- and then it blew away in the parking lot. It was so windy today, and I was juggling a million things, and I couldn't stop it. Olivia immediately started to fuss, and be being so emotional and PMS-y, I was sad. She was so excited to have that balloon! Speaking of . . .

Has anyone else noticed less cramping with their period since they gave birth? I used to want to go to bed for several days before I was on the pill (which made them a little better) and before I had Olivia. I used to lay in bed and hold my tummy. I hurt so bad I'd physically get sick to my stomach. I really believe I've had menstrual cramps close to what labor felt like. It's such a relief not to hurt that badly anymore. I'll occasionally have a bit of cramping, but nothing that stops me in my tracks or interrupts my day.

Tomorrow, we're heading up to Atlanta to see my uncle. Well, he's technically my uncle, but in his early 30's and his wife is around James's age I believe. I haven't seen him since I was a little girl, so it'll be fun to catch up. I remember him giving my sister and I piggy back rides when we were little, and it was so much fun because he's to tall. He's a fmaily member I really haven't known that well because the circumstances are odd. He is my mom's half brother, from her father's second marriage. It should be a lot of fun. I just hope Olivia survives all the driving. I'm already worrying about when/where to nurse her, and how to keep her entertained in the car. We won't be able to stay long because James has a huge project due on Sunday for grad school, but it should be fun.

Quick Olivia moment: tonight, Olivia was eating some finger foods in her highchair, and James asked her where her shoe was. She pulled her leg out and propped it up on her tray, pointed to her shoe, and grinned. This kid cracks me up!

Oh, and how cool is my husband for letting my friend B AND his boyfriend doggy sit at our house for 3 days while we're in Savannah? I know many men who wouldn't want two gay men sleeping in his house and I'm SOOOO glad my hubby isn't like that. He accepts everyone. V v cool!

Just a quickie! I LURVE these shoes. Now, do I want them in black or beige? Hmmm . . . I think I need both! V summery and close-toed. Perfect!

I Opened My Big Mouth

I'm always so self-conscious when it comes to speaking up or complaining about something. It's not that I'm all that shy, but I don't want to appear negative or be thought of as a complainer. So, I was a little hesitant to say something after several unsupervised bigger kids were messing with the non-walker babies at playgroup yesterday.

But, I decided to get over my self-consciousness and speak up! After all, I have a right to put my baby down on the floor without some brat unsupervised bigger kid running over my baby, which is exactly what happened yesterday. Once is an accident, but some kids were completely nuts running around, and others were hitting and kicking and being total bullies!

Me: (to kid) Be careful! You stepped on my baby!

Him: It wasn't me. (Um, hello. I'm not blind)

Me: Yes it was. You need to watch out!

I shouldn't have to be the one to correct someone else's kid, but if their mom isn't around, I'm going to! Not too far back, I knocked some kid off this blow-up dinosaur in a moon bounce type thing because she was nose-diving on it, about to knock out tiny Olivia who was already sitting on it. Surely, Olivia would've had a concussion, at best. This kid was literally diving on top of her! I knew the kid wouldn't get hurt falling in the moon bounce, but Olivia surely would have if I hadn't stopped the kid! I don't like confronting other moms when it comes to their kids behavior, but I have no problem correcting the kids. What can I say? It's the teacher in me. I would never, ever, correct a child if his/her mom was there, only if they are hurting another child in some way and there's no one else to stop it. You don't mess with my baby!

So, today, while out walking, I mentioned to the assistant organizer of our group that I felt really uncomfortabble about having to pay so much attention to what some of the older kids are doing because their moms are obviously too busy to watch them. It's only a few kids who misbehave, but a few of the younger kids got hurt yesterday, and this isn't fair or appropriate. I also explained that a new mom attending the event yesterday was upset that her child was shoved to the ground by another child several times. I was worried she wouldn't want to come back! She thanked me for telling her and said she'd handle it.

The next thing I know, the head organizer is calling me and many others asking about the "incident" yesterday and wanting names. Yikes! I don't want to get in the middle of anything!!! I tried to play it down and explained that I was just hoping she could, as our organizer, politely remind parents to watch their kids, even if it's just checking in with them from time-to-time. I don't want it to get back to anyone that I am tattling or making trouble. I just want my daughter to have a safe place to play.

I know it's hard when you're a tired, sleep-deprived mom who just wants to sit and talk. It's not like I wouldn't like that. But if you have a child, sorry, but you do actually have to watch them. Hope I won't be the bad guy in this.

Did I do the right thing or should I just let kids be kids?

On my mind

>I posted about my shoe dilemna here. I desperately need some springy shoes. We're going to the coast for a mini-vacation and I want something that'll look good with a variety of ourfits, like flip flops would, except that I really shouldn't wear them. These might work . . .

>Speaking of our trip, we're going to Savannah because I hear it's gorgeous and I've never been. I'm pushing to stay in this awesome hotel on the water. We'll see what our checking account says about that. Our taxes are almost done. *Fingers crossed for a big return!!!*

>When we have playgroup in my moms' group, I am always hesitant to put Olivia down to play. Very few moms pay attention to their kids. I'm tired of her getting hit, pushed, and stepped on when she's crawling around. Kids will be kids, but they also need to be watched!!! Not sure how to handle this. Do I say something? A few of us with younger babies feel are irritated. I don't want to blame the kids, even though some of them are totally bratty, but it's lack of repsonsibility on the parents' part that makes these kids think they can do whatever they want!

>I am such a sucker for Lifetime movies lately. They are mindless and sometimes really cheesey. Perfect for unwinding!

>I've been exercising a lot with my jogging stroller. I can tell my waist is getting more defined. Now, if I could only get back my smoking ass!

>I'm kinda sorta maybe considering bringing along some lingerie on our little trip. I haven't worn anything sexy in a looooong time. So what if my tummy is covered with zebra-like stretch marks, my boobs are leaky, and I can pull loose skin away from my tummy from here to Timbuktu? My husband thinks I'm hot, and I'm determined to get my confidence back! I'm not a plus sized girl, and although I'm no longer wearing jeans in a single digit size, I still want to be sexy for my man. Now if I could only tolerate a thong . . .

>They say that indoor air is more polluted than outdoor. So, in my effort to get our family healthier, and because I've been trying to go a bit more "green", I decided to buy some environmentally friendly~ and most importantly, SAFE~ cleaning products. No chemicals! I feel comfortable wiping down Olivia's high chair and tub with them, and best of all, the nice lemony scent is real!

Where I was

Hello! Did you think I died? I never go this long without blogging. And what an entry to have left at the top of my page! About farts! Ha!

We've had no cable, internet, or phone service since Thursday because of the storms. Twenty-two tornadoes touched down in our small town, and although our house is unscathed, I can't say the same for many other homes and businesses in our area. It really makes you think. We've all seen damage on the news, but I'd never seen any with my own eyes until the last few days. We are so lucky! Many areas were severely damaged all around us. There were tornado warning sirens going off half the night on Thursday, but I guess we really didn't take them as seriously as we should've. James strapped Olivia in her baby bjorn carrier so she wouldn't be blown from his arms if something did hit (I found this adorable and quite sensible), but we didn't take cover in a safe spot or anything, and if I'd known all the damage being done down the road, I would've.

James ALMOST went back to work Thursday night. Am V. v. glad he didn't! The tornado came right through the parking lot!

Here are some pictures I took yesterday when I ventured out and got stuck in traffic!

Tons of trees are down everywhere!

This is the church where we got married. The roof is pretty messed up.

These people's shed blew into their house!

The shed from the front:

I drove by Eckerd today, and the entire side of the building is gone, and the bricks flew into people's windshields. I also saw tons of houses with trees through the roofs, as well as billboards down. Our favorite Mexican restaurant will be closed for a while (boo!) and many homes have to be re-built from scratch. Like I said, we are v. lucky!!!!!!

This is the side of the Eckerd drugstore (picture from our local paper):

Some friends of ours took more pictures showing much more devestation than mine. I'll post them if James still has them on his computer.

I have other things to update you on, like my fabulous new book club (like that's so thrilling) and the fact that my not-even-11-month-old is now saying two syllable words! Clever girl! She is AMAZING! Oh, and my utter disappointment over finding out that the jogging stroller I wanted to buy was actually an "all terrain stroller" and now I can't find one single jogging stroller in our entire area. This town sucks.

Hope you're having a wonderful, restful weekend. Get some sleep for me since I haven't slept more than 3.5 hours straight in oh, a YEAR AND A HALF!!!! But I wouldn't trade motherhood for the world.

There's a lizard in my living room!!!!!! and other things

Bummer!!! The woman who offered me her jogging stroller for FREE can't find it, and now I haven't heard from her in days. I am broken hearted:-( I really want one because I do a lot of walking on tough trails, and my Graco just isn't going to cut it. I think I'm going to buy the Jeep one I want on Wednesday when James gets paid.

James worked on homework most of the weekend. His computer is in pieces at home, so he's been spending a lot of time at work. My laptop doesn't have all the programs he needs for all his high tech stuff. I seriously hated him yesterday for not being here. I didn't even want to talk to him when he got home because there was a mother freaking lizard in our living room. A LIZARD!!!!! IN MY HOUSE. I hate the south. If we hadn't moved here, we'd be getting snow tonight! Anyway, I had to chase this thing out the door with a broom. Not exactly the type of thing you'd hit with a fly swatter. I seriously deserve a medal. I almost peed my pants when I saw him. Who has a lizard in their house in February? We seriously can't move soon enough.

Olivia has been grinding her teeth all weekend long. She already has 8 teeth. Just how many more are coming? I didn't think she was due for anymore any time soon. Last night was rough. James and I were up with her half the night while she cried and grinded her teeth. I give her motrin when she feels really badly, but I don't want to keep her drugged all the time. I know some parents who give their kids medicine around the clock, but I don't feel comfortable with it.

I am so amazed by Olivia's vocabulary. She's like a sponge. Like most babies her age, she understands more than she can say. She points to tons of things when asked. She knows who/where everyone in the family is, and she knows many household objects. It's so much fun teaching her! Her favorite things to do lately are: making her mouth into an "o" shape, pointing at everything, playing with her new letter magnets on the fridge, walking while we hold her hands, feeding the dogs, and saying "hot" over and over and over again while watching the fireplace just hoping we'll turn it on! She also thinks it's funny when she farts. If I laugh and she does another one, she'll laugh too. I'm actually going to re-visit this tomorrow. You'll see why.

I've been bad about taking pictures lately, but here are some of the latest:

She loves riding on Daddy's shoulders!

Pointing after Mommy asked her "where is the fan?"

Grinding her teeth because they hurt. :-(

Eating some yummy bananas:

Getting into trouble!

McSpin-off?

Have you heard??? The writers for Grey's are thinking of doing a spin-off, which would focus on just one character, Addison Shepherd. It's weird because when she was first introduced on the show, she was this minor character who everyone wanted to go away so Meredith could have her man, but now, apparently, Addison has become one of the more popular characters. I guess they're finding it hard to focus on so many strong characters.

I also read that they're considering having some past characters, like maybe Denny Duquette, and showing some type of afterlife. Sounds a bit Six Feet Under-ish to me, but I'm all for the chance to look at that beautiful man some more-- I think I'll call him McHotty!

Would you like to see a spin-off? Do you think Addison is a good choice to base a new series on?

Ditzy teeny-boppers, new milestones, and not ready to wean (Olivia has spoken!)

Two posts in one day? Can it be? :-)

Pilates totally kicked my ass tonight! I got a great workout. I love going each week, but these girls in the class are totally getting on my last nerve. I know I used to teach and have all these patience, but these girls are completely obnoxious and annoying. All they do is laugh like ditzes and talk the entire time and it's distracting and annoying while I'm dying doing ab work. It's hard to hear the instructor. They both wear cheerleading shirts-- I think they're in high school and they won't shut up!!! They are so annoying. Our instructor even gave them a hint tonight! She said something like, "wow! Something must be really funny back there" and of course they didn't get a clue. I just want to yell at them to SHUT UP!! Can you tell I'm on my period? LOL!

I hung out at my moms for a while tonight when I went to pick up Olivia after pilates. My mom and I ended up watching American Idol, and Olivia slept on me. She woke up around 9:15, and I knew she was awake because I heard her whisper "HAH!" and she pointed to the roaring fire next to the couch. That's how she says "hot". She says "hah!" without the "t" sound and she always whispers it. Over the past few days, I've noticed O trying to put her shoes on by herself. She doesn't come close, but it's funny to watch. She's getting so independent! I mentioned earlier that she was taking steps holding on to the couch today. She's never walked around furniture before. I don't see her walking alone anytime soon, but she's making progress!

Baby girl is on another nursing strike. I know she's not weaning herself, because it always correlates with teething. All she's done today is grind her teeth and stick her hand in her mouth. She doesn't even want a pacifier. Then, when she stops having teething discomfort, she's back in full swing with the nursing. Tonight, I wanted to pump, but she screamed if I put her down, and James was at school, so I decided to give in and try a little formula (the 2nd stage). She needs liquids and it takes a while for me to pump, and I don't get that much, and all the while she'd be screaming. Anyway, she refused it. She'll take a bottle of my milk when she's teething, but she made the most awful face when she tasted the formula and she threw the bottle. I tried to stick it back in her mouth, and she swatted at it. Guess we definitely won't be weaning anytime soon. I wasn't considering it anyway because I don't think O is ready for table food quite yet. She seems to react to foods pretty easily and often gets rashes, and breast milk helps prevent future allergies. I honestly see myself nursing another 6 months, but probably less feedings than she has now, which is at least 6 when teething isn't an issue. I feel a little jealous of those of you who are weaning (or thinking about it). I LOVE nursing O and would mourn it if I stopped, but it isn't convenient when we're out, and also it stresses me out at times like this when it hurts her to suck. Oh well. I believe mothers know when it's time, and it feels right to keep going.

Well, now that O's asleep, time for me to go pump so I'll have something for her later if she sill won't nurse.

jogging stroller, Walmart, bleeding gums, and McSteamy (I couldn't think of a good title!!!)

I'm so excited! I snagged me a stroller! I belong to a great mom's group, and I asked on our msg board if anyone had a jogging stroller they'd sell, and someone replied that they've GIVE one to me. YIPPPPEEEE! It's not new, but I don't care. Money is tight and I'm thrilled to have it at all! I'm picking it up on Thursday. I'm trying to think of a small token of appreciation. Flowers maybe? She's also in the process of moving, so maybe a housewarming gift of some sort? It's just so nice of her. She's made me so very happy! It's hard pushing my Graco when I walk on trails.

I had a dentist appt this morning, and I can still taste blood in my mouth. I have never had someone clean my teeth with such aggression. She said they weren't even that bad, she just was rough. My whole mouth hurts and my gums are so swollen and red! :-(

This afternoon, I ventured out to our new Super Walmart. I seldom go to Walmart because the old one here always smelled funny and was so crowded, but this one is brand new and I was surprisingly impressed. They had lots of organic produce for making baby food, and I also bought some other things we needed. The prices are great! After I got back, I caught up on episodes of Grey's. I asked this a few days back, but no one answered . . . does anyone else think that McSteamy (Mark Sloan) looks like Leo DiCaprio? He sure is hot!

P.S. Thanks for your comments about my friend. I didn't mean to imply that woman with fertility/miscarriage issues are resentful of those with kids, I just wouldn't want seeing my baby to cause her pain over hers. Does that make sense? Please pray for her. I tried to get her today and couldn't. I'm worried and I hope she's ok.

It's getting HOT in here . . .

What happens when you're period comes just as you stop being able to breathe through your nose? I've in such a bitchy mood, but don't worry, I won't take it out on you. :-) I just needed to complain for a minute.

In spite of my "condition", we decided to have a fun holiday and so we headed north for lunch and some shopping at Babies 'R Us. I stocked up on Earth's Best baby food (but not breakfast because of the re-call), and of course, I came home with more than I bargained for. Mom came too, and she bought Olivia some clothes and a dolly. I was completely drooling over a Jeep jogging stroller that had a place to plug in an Ipod. It even had speakers. Speakers!!!! What a freakin' awesome stroller and I wanted it sooooo badly, but I didn't buy it because we are poor and I had to charge Starbucks today because I hadn't balanced my check book and didn't want to risk it. Sad, I know. Anyway, I'm going to a huge consignment sale for baby items in a few weeks, and I'm hoping to find a used jogging stroller there. If not, James said I can buy a new one. Well, actually, first he asked why I couldn't jog with the one I have. I just looked at him. Can you see me running trying to push this??? They're not exactly made for speed.

And while you're looking at the stroller, can you believe that like 5 people a week ask me how old my little boy is? Actually, you probably can because it's amazing how many people mistake girls for boys and boys for girls! It's happened to most moms. I used to correct them, but now I just tell them her age. James will ask me why I didn't tell them she's a girl. I get tired of hearing their excuses as to why they thought she was a boy. "Oh, well, she doesn't have much hair". Um, why is hair associated with girls? I've also heard "Oh, well she looks more like a boy." Yes, people have actually said that. Three people to be exact. Oh, the things I should've said!

My friend Sarah, who I mentioned I was throwing a shower for, miscarried. Acutally, she's in the process of losing her baby. She told me yesterday that she can't stand to wait around while her dead baby comes out. What do you say to something like that? My heart aches for her. She was only 3 months along, but there's a lot of guilt associated with this pregnancy. She was finalizing her divorce when she learned she was pregnant, and she feels badly that she didn't want the baby initially . . . like maybe she caused this. She was finally accepting it and becoming excited, and now this happened. Also, her ex is a real jerk and he's been stressing her out so much, so she worries that could've been it too. I just don't know the right thing to say. I felt so guilty bringing Olivia with me yesterday to her house to drop off flowers. It sound stupid, but I'm sure I'd feel resentment towards someone who had a baby if I'd just lost mine. It's human. It's not rational or even fair, but it's human. I've heard infertile women talk about that resentment before, and I frankly don't blame them. What can I do/say to make her feel better? I've never really known anyone in real life who's miscarried before. Oh, and I blogged more about it at Mommy Musings.

Olivia has a new word. My mom's been saying "hot" and pointing to the fireplace, so today at lunch, we asked for a table near the fireplace so Olivia could see the "hot". When we sat down, Olivia looked at the fire, pointed to it, and said "HOT!" as she nodded her little head. It was so funny, because all through lunch, she'd be in the middle of trying to pinch a piece of carrot, or a cracker, and she'd look up and whisper "HOT!" to show us she knew it was still there. I could kick myself for not doing more sign language with her. She's got great verbal skills and she'd probably pick up the signs pretty fast.

Well, I'm off to blow my nose and get to bed!

Wait! I meant to mention this. Did anyone else read that the actor who plays Harry Potter is going to be completely nude for 10 whole minutes in a play? He's going from kids' movies to nude scenes. Apparently, some parents are outraged. I guess instead of Harry Potter, he'd rather be Hairy Peter. (sorry, I couldn't resist, I think I deserve a good slapping for that last comment.) :-)

All I wanted to do is watch Grey's Anatomy! Oh, and did you hear about Anna Nicole?

Ugh! It took freaking FOREVER to get Olivia to sleep tonight when all I wanted to do was watch Grey's Anatomy. I seriously felt like I was about to have a temper tantrum. I just wanted to yell and stomp my feet because I wasn't getting my way, but instead, I'm bitching to you, which is by far the more mature choice. I'm just sleep-deprived after getting up 30, yes THIRTY, times last night with Olivia-- sometimes every 10 minutes. She was so restless. She didn't really fuss, so I didn't think she was in pain, so I didn't give her anything. Then, this morning, she grinned at me and I spotted two new arrivals. I learned a lesson: when in doubt, give her IB Profin. Usually, I have a lot of patients, and it's amazing that even when you're frustrated, you're never mad at your child. Tonight, I just needed so down time . . .

It's really sad about Anna Nicole Smith. She has a baby girl, and with all the controversy over the paternity and the question if she's even legally married, I just hope that little girl ends up with someone loving to raise her. I'm curious as to the cause of death. To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure why this is such a big story. People die every day, and it's sad, but I'd rather hear about someone who tried to change to world, like Steve Irwin, than someone who was famous for big boobs and marrying an old man for his money. I don't want to speak badly of someone who's dead, but there are so many other important issues out there and we'll be hearing about this story for months. It also made think about what would happen to Olivia if we died. We don't have a will, but we agree my mom and dad would get Olivia. I guess it's important that we make our decision legal. What about you? Do you have a will?? Does it include where your children would go if you died?

Well, it's off to bed with me. I have stroller exercise in the morning. I need to walk off all the buttercream icing I've eaten. I love b-day cake!!!

Thoughts of a 26 year old very old woman

I really can't believe that I'm 26. It sounds so old. I know you're thinking "yeah, right" but to me, it's always been the age that seemed so ADULT. I think it's because my mom had me at 26, and I always thought that seemed old growing up, and now I'm 26 with my own child. Wow. Time does fly. But it also brings amazing blessings, and I hope the coming years bring more of the joy we've felt having Olivia here with us.

My birthday was great. I had lunch at Olive Garden with James and my grandma. There was a baby only a month or so older than Olivia eating Cheetos next to us. And we wonder why children are obese. HA! Anyway, lunch was really good. After lunch, I went window shopping with Olivia. We went to this baby store where one dress cost $70, but they were hand embroidered and had smocking (were smocked??). The store owner addressed all the other moms by name, so they obviously buy $70 dresses fairly regularly. I left without buying anything because I don't have $70 for a dress, but it's ok. I just feel fortunate to be home with Olivia. :-) I saw the cutest shoes by Robeez and wanted to buy them, but the small size was way too tiny and the next size was way too big, so I'll wait until she's bigger.

Here they are:

I love this style of shoe because they stay on better. She has some like it now, but I love the mermaids on these. When I was little, I loved mermaids, so I'd love to get these!

After coffee with MF (her treat! I just love her!), I went home to meet James and we headed to my parents'. I got awesome gifts for my birthday. James got me a scanner! Stay tuned for older pics! He also got me software to transfer my cell phone pics directly to my computer. I got a Starbucks gift card, Aveda rosemary mint body wash (love it!), and a nice carrying bag for my pilates mat. From my family, I got money (I'm getting highlights!!), Seasons 1 & 2 of Grey's Anatomy (yipppeee!), 2 GAP shirts, earrings, 2 CD's, Bath & Body Works lotion, and some other little things. I also got some really sweet e-cards from friends and a few surprises in the mail! When we got home, I took a chocolate bubble bath and read "The Time Traveler's Wife". Love that book!

Today was lunch with MF, lots of walking, and then I skipped pilates because I had a tummy ache, which I've had for 5 days. Not sure what's going on, but skipping pilates gave me more time to pick at leftover cake (buttercream icing, yum!) and I had a good soak in my parents' hot tub while my mom and Olivia played the piano. The soak helped my tummy, but I wish I knew what's going on. I'll give it a few days before calling the dr.

Other thoughts in bulleted form so I don't ramble . . .

-- I wish I had time to make hand-made cards. My aunt always makes the prettiest cards and I save every one of them.

-- My car smells like poop. Olivia had one of the stinkiest diapers ever while we were at lunch, so I changed her in the car and forgot to throw away the diaper. It sat in my car, in the sun, all day. Now my car smells like something died. But I sure love the little fanny that caused all the stink!

-- I'm sick and tired of the underwire popping out of my nursing bras. I think I need to buy a brand other than Motherhood Maternity.

-- Today was gorgeous and it made me happy. I still wish it would snow here. I miss snow.

OK, time for me to go read more of "The Time Traveler's Wife" before bed. I think I have a crush on Henry. There's something sexy about a tall, dark, young librarian with a great libido (this is not to say that my husband doesn't possess these qualities, except that he's not a librarian, obviously) I love smart men. I'm such a dork.

pain, triple date, and My Space friends

I am in *SO* much pain! Pilates on Wednesday totally kicked my butt. My "core" is sore! She really worked my abs to the point of misery, but at least that means I actually am toning and tightening my flabby post-preggo tummy! I remember trying to do sit-ups and crunches 6 months ago and I could barely get off the floor! That's how out of shape I was. Now, I can manage an entire hour of pilates, and although my abs are still sore, I feel so good! Also, I've been going to stroller exercise on Friday mornings. Pushing a stroller while power walking for an hour or so is harder is actually a good workout. MF and I walk a lot in the afternoons, too. So, I figured after all this exercise, I deserved a reward, so I treated myself to a soft and chewey Reese's cup cookie at Barnes & Noble today. After seeing how loosely my pants were fitting today, it was all I could do not to eat 5 cookies, but I didn't. I remember trying on these pants after I had Olivia, and it was a no-go. They actually weren't fitting so well before I had her, so I either completely stretched them out with all the trying-on, or, I've lost weight. I choose to believe the latter. I don't do scales, so I can't verify, but I really think I've lost some inches! And my friends and family think so, too. Wahhhooooo for me! My size 8 jeans await me! (and I'll be thrilled to stay at an 8!)

This morning at stroller exercise, 2 of the moms were trying to convince me to leave Olivia with some moms from the group so I could go to a mom's night thing. I told them I wasn't comfortable, and they said, "that's just a new mom thing. She'd be fine. It's just you who feels uncomfortable." aka "it's all in your head. YOU'RE the one with the problem, not her." I could totally tell that's what they meant, and they totally disregarded the fact that Olivia has major stranger anxiety! Yes, I have that new-mom-who-can't-leave-her-baby problem, but I'm NOT going to leave her with someone I don't know! She has trouble making it for one hour in the church nursery! They actually brought up my "problem" a few times. I know I'm over-bearing and protective. I'm working on it, but leaving her with someone I don't even know? Not happening.

Ooooh! Oooooh! We're going on a date for Valentine's Day-- the three of us! Olivia's Christmas dress has red roses on it, which is PERFECT for V. day, so she's going to wear that along with the heart patterned tights I bought, and James is taking both his girls out. My mom offered to watch her the weekend before or after so we could go, but I'm fine with taking her. We can go out alone another night. Besides, she came with us last year, kind of. :-) I remember we were looking at the 4D ultrasound pics at dinner that we'd just had done a few days before.

Hey-- what's up with this number of friends thing on My Space? I swear, people I never talked to want to be my friend, and also people I didn't like! This girl who completely ruined my 14th birthday found me and wanted to be friends. WTF? Everyone knew that this guy was going to ask me out at my party, and she found out, interrupted my slow dance, and asked him out before he could ask me. Of course, as an 8th grade guy, he was flattered, said yes, and then forgot about me. They broke up before the weekend was over, but he never did ask me. I spent most of high school hating this girl (well, not hating, but the sight of her made me want to puke!) and she has the nerve to ask me to be friends? HA! I really think it's about numbers-- who has the most friends. Speaking of which, want to be my friend on My Space? *huge grin*

Seriously though, here's my page. I finally figured out how to change the colors and I'm so proud! My page is rockin'! Let's just say I'm not particularly computer savvy. Just don't mention my blog on my page. I so don't need ex boyfriends reading about my personal life, or the beeyotch who ruined my party!

http://www.myspace.com/mom2olivia

Oh, and don't forget to check out my latest Olivia pics in my last entry. I'm off to wash Olivia's outfit for our dinner in Atlanta tomorrow night!

A Taste of South Africa

Well, I've moving on to more positive things. Thank you so much for your kind, supportive comments about my last entry. You all are so wonderful!

So, my birthday is next week on the 6th, and although I'd love nothing more than a trip to South Africa (in my dreams!), it's obviously not possible for a number of reasons, so we're doing the next best thing-- traveling to Atlanta this Saturday to visit one of the only authentic South African restaurants in the country. I am so excited!!!!!! I bought Olivia the PERFECT outfit to wear, and I can't wait to take pictures. Anyway, we're going to 10 Degrees South, which has been listed on my sidebar as a place I want to go for a long time!

Trolls & Teeth

What is up with these internet weirdos? I have seen a few nasty comments to 3 different friends in the last couple of weeks. If you don't like what someone has to say, it's simple, don't read their blog! I don't understand who these nasty, hateful people are who leave mean comments to hurt peoples' feelings. Why? It's always been my belief-- my mom told me this growing up-- that when someone feels the need to be nasty to someone else, it's usually because they do not feel good inside. I think it makes sense. If a person is happy and loving, they generally don't feel the need/urge to say something nasty about someone else. I mean, it's one thing to write your thoughts and feelings on your own blog, but an entirely different thing to leave something critical on someone else's. It's just not cool. I wouldn't expect everyone to agree with everything I say, just as in real life, but I certainly wouldn't expect someone to call me names and leave harsh remarks. It's just not kosher. I don't blog so I can get comments, but when I get them, I expect them to be polite, even if they are in disagreement to something I've said. It just upsets me to read mean things on the blogs of people I love like I do my "real life" friends.

In Olivia news, the virus is gone, but she's working on cutting some mean teeth. We're back to an on-again/off-again nursing strike as a result, but thanks to a new pump, I'm at least keeping the milk up. My old pump sadly died. And the warranty was up! It sucks because I bet I didn't even use it 100 times!!!

Tomorrow, we're having a little Bon Voyage lunch at Olive Garden for my grandma. She leaves for Mexico on Saturday and she's so excited! It's the cutest thing! I was careful not to being Olivia around her when Olivia had the virus because I didn't want my grandma to get sick for her trip! Olive Garden is kind of special because a) it's where I announced my pregnancy to my family, and b) where I told them I was having a girl (and proudly displayed my ultrasound pics!).

Well, I'm off to take a hot shower (yucky period and cramps) and try to get the stains out of Olivia's shirt from dinner. Has anyone else noticed how badly carrots stain? And carrot poops too! I have to scrub to get the orange off her behind! LOL! I bought the baby OxyClean, so we'll see how it works.

By this time next year, I'll be a size 2! (well, maybe)

I have been soooooo good about exercising! Go me! I guess yesterday was the only exception. MF and I went to a local shopping center to walk the perimeter, but first we decided to get mochas because it was cold, and then when it started to sprinkle, we went into a cafe to give the babies a snack, and ended up eating a second lunch, so yesterday--not so good. Ate too much, but today-- today was awesome! I think we walked like 3 miles with our strollers. My calves are seriously sore! I'm not disciplined about exercise. I admire people life GFF because she's so good about going to the gym. I wish I was more eager to go, but walking is something I enjoy because MF and I talk about babies, husbands, bad fashion mistakes, etc. Speaking of which, I'm afraid the 80's are back, and it's not pretty people. The leggings with mini-skirts I can handle. I personally don't look good in them (not that I've tried in a while) because I'm a little bootylicious, and I end up looking like I have chicken legs, but that aside, some of the other fashion trends I'm seeing are not so eye-friendly. Some people do not look good in skinny jeans. In fact most don't. I hate the tapered look. It makes guys look gay and girls look fat.

Anyway . . .

Here's a rather late picture of my hair. You can kind of see the layers on the side. Oh, and I don't know why my nose looks so big! My nose isn't small, but I look like freaking pinocchio!

I'm starting to read this book about breastfeeding controversies in America. I know it's something that's going to piss me off and really make me think hard. Should be interesting. Since having Olivia, I have become so passionate about something I'd never really thought about, and now, I'm really interested in it. And it's not just ineresting in a healty, mother-infant bond way, it's also really interesting from a political/social standpoint. I've been thinking a lot about it because I've decided to nurse Olivia past a year. Not sure how long, but I know I'll have to deal with the stigma that comes with breastfeeding a toddler. I hate that some people make you out to be some kind of pervert or social deviant. I actually talked to the pediatrician about it the other day and he highly recommends it. Our society as a whole is so clueless about breastfeeding and its amazing benefits. I actually saw someone post a comment on someone's blog recently saying that "formula these days is just as good as breastmilk. It's come a long way". I have good friends who bottle feed, and that's fine. I'm often jealous when they so easily take out a bottle and I'm left with trying to cover myself up and get Olivia to stay still so I don't embarrass myself in a public flashing, but to borrow a quote I recently heard, it's not like choosing Coke over Pepsi. Breastmilk is a living food, ever changing. Okay, time to get off my soap box! :-)

This morning, Olivia and I went grocery shopping (this post keeps getting more and more random). It's amazing how much longer it takes to shop these days, and surprisingly, it's not because I have to entertain Olivia. She's pretty content sitting in the cart (once I've sanitized it. I swear I have OCD. Today I spent like 5 minutes wiping down a cart only to find it had no seatbelt and I had to start over with another, but I digress) looking around and smiling at everyone. It's everyone else who slows me down. They all stop to talk to Olivia and ask questions. That's the downside of having a cute kid I guess. And when they don't look, she waves and says "hi", but I think only because we do it to her. I really don't think recognizes "hi" as a greeting. She just knows that it accompanies waving. Oh, and that brings me to something else. Why do old people feel it's their place to give advice to complete strangers? I was walking today, and some old lady calls out, "the sun's in that baby's eyes!" and then I checked, and she was fine. My grandma is like that. She asked me the other day if Olivia's husband was going to sleep with us too. They didn't co-sleep in her day, or if they did, they did it in secret and she thinks I'm doing Olivia a disservice by allowing her to sleep in our bed. I was pleased when she came to Olivia's appt and heard the doctor say that it was fine to sleep with her, at least until she starts sleeping better.

Well, it's time to try to get my fussing, teething daughter back to sleep! Oh, and I have to find a baked potato soup recipe for tomorrow.

Food, Uncles, Lost and FOUND!

I’m loving this de-lurking thing. Although, many of you have not yet de-lurked! I see you on my tracker (especially those of you in Europe!). Keep on de-lurking! I love comments and I have already started going to some of your sites to say hello. I love meeting new people. This is so much fun!!!

Well, call me Martha F-ing Stewart. This has been a weekend of good food! On Saturday night, after a day of shopping with my mom at Babies ‘R Us, I made Olive G@rden’s Zuppa Toscana, after snagging the authentic recipe off the web! It totally tastes like the restaurant’s soup. The only thing I did differently was I peeled the potatoes, which the recipe doesn’t specify. I don’t like the skin floating around in the soup with the potatoes get soft. Eeeew. This recipe is a great way to get kale into your diet. At least, that's my justification for a recipe that calls for sausage, bacon, and heavy cream! This soup is perfect with cheesy garlic bread for dipping!

Today, I baked a sour cream pound cake to take to my parents’ tonight, and then Olivia and I headed over to her Uncle Ben and Uncle Joey’s house. They’ve been in a decorating frenzy since Ben moved in with Joey, and the apartment looks fabulous. Very Pier 1-ish, which it totally my taste. I got to meet their adorable roommate E, who explained her lack of contribution in their fab apartment. She said that’s the benefit of living with two gays. :-) I told them they should audition for "Queer Eye", if that show is still even on. Ben & Joey have been shopping for antiques to blend with their ultra-modern décor, and Ben did a lot of the artwork in the apartment himself. I’m tempted to commission him because he did such a great job! I’ve been looking forever for a painting to hang above our couch, and after two different attempts, I’m still not happy with what’s up there. I also love when people are bold enough to experiment with color, because I’m not really.

Something amazing happened today. Five years ago, I lost a small red leather notebook where I wrote daily entries while in college in England. I journaled about what I saw, stuck ticket stubs and other little souvenirs inside, and when we moved to Georgia, it disappeared. I even had a mad search for it when we cleaned out the guest room to create Olivia’s nursery. Then today, my mom called me and said that my dad found a small red notebook made of leather in their storage stuff, and it had stuff about Cambridge in it. I can’t wait to sit down and have a good read. I know there’s tons of stuff about my ex “Doug” because missing him was such a daily part of my life there. I only wish that someone would’ve hit me in the head with a huge-ass shovel and told me that when I got home, Doug would dump me and I’d soon meet my soul mate. I wasted so much money on international calls when, hello! I could’ve been buying Parisian perfume and drinking more Italian wine! But seriously, I can’t wait to re-live the cafes, shopping, all the amazing things I learned in my classes, the weekend whirlwind trip to Paris with my then best friend (we’ve kind of lost touch, but I still love her!) I know I’ll end up crying remembering when I was younger, independent, and totally feeling my oats in Europe! Ah, how life changes. Good changes, though. I love being a Mommy!

Speaking of which, here are new shots of Olivia and her proud mama!

Such a big girl drinking from her first kid's cup! She's been drinking from a straw since Thanksgiving Day, but now, we order her a kid's cup with diluted apple juice. So big!

Expert puller-upper finally! :-)

Oh, and for those of you who use Movable Type (or if you’re just really smart and helpful), some browsers won’t allow you to navigate away from my page. It simply refreshes if you hit the back button. I can’t figure out how to stop this, and neither can my usually-really-computer-savvy husband, or else he just didn’t try very hard. Does anyone how I can keep this from happening (the navigating problem, not my husband not helping me when I need it. He only does that sometimes!).

Newsy

This is kind of a catch-up post, for things I wanted to mention over the last week . . .

On Tuesday, I went to turbo-kick (kick boxing mixed with cardio), and WOW!!!!! I haven't been that out of breath is forever! Not only did I learn just how out of shape I am, but I also realized it's probably not a good idea to exercise wearing a nursing bra. I was conscious of my girls bouncing the whole time (ooowwweeeee) and then, the most awful thing happened. My nursing pads fell out onto the floor in the middle of the class! The horror! I left to go wrap them up in my towel, and I was so tempted not to come back, but I did. Have to lose weight! I know it might seem odd that I still wear the nursing pads, but sometimes there's a bit of leakage, especially when Olivia is near them, snuggling, or when she cries sometimes, and I honestly forgot to remove them before the class. Time to get a sports bra!

I am such a snob. There's no two ways about it. Yesterday, I went to the park for my mom's group, and there was a mom there who looked like the last time she washed her hair might've been some time in '05. Now, I try to be openminded and welcoming, but when people are dirty, I have a hard time with that. I have no problem with race, handicapped people, mental retardation. I'm comfortable around everyone. But dirty? Um, take a shower.

Today, I was out running errands, and I seriously think I saw a guy I went out with in Maryland. The guy I saw was a soldier, and pretty much anyone who joins the army is going to come to my city for bootcamp, so if he joined the military, it could explain why he was here. I only went out with him once, but he tried to molest me when we were taking a nice walk and I totally wouldn't forget him. I had half a mind to go up and ask if he remembered me. When he said no (because I obviously was just another girl to hook-up with) I would've asked him if he remembered my girls! I didn't let him do ANYTHING, but it really bothered me that he'd even try when I barely knew him. Um, first date? I think not! I'm not even one to kiss on a first date. Ask James. :-)

Ok, and this last one if for friends only! My family would die if they knew I posted stuff like this (although few family members read my blog anyway). Meg (that's my sis), you can read it though. :-)

Click below:

OK, I've mentioned that Olivia sleeps with us, and that makes it kind of hard for "mommy and daddy" time if you know what I mean, so the other night, we put her in her pack-n-play in our room to play (I keep it there so I can actually bathe, unlike the mommy at the park), and when she became totally enthralled with her toys, we had some fun of our own. Next thing I know, I hear giggling and squealing. I look over, and she's watching us and dancing, just like Mommy and Daddy. Please don't report me to child services. It's not like she knew what we were doing, she figured we were dancing! She was so excited because we all dance together a lot. Next time, we'll wait until she's asleep.

Um, how to co-sleeping families add to their family??

Baby Girl and Pilates!

Olivia has been napping better (praise the Lord), sometimes 2 hours at once. She finally went down for her first nap today, and then, not even a half hour later, the freaking dog woke her up barking at a &%^&#@% truck.

Olivia has been so enthralled with her new toys, some of which haven't even been opened or put together. I figure if we space out introducing them, it'll keep her more interested.

I'm really psyched about tonight. I have my first pilates class. I'm sticking to those New Year's resolutions plans and in the hopes of fitting back into pairs of pants that haven't seen the light of day in a long time. Wish me luck. My fitness goals usually fizzle out pretty fast. I can't let that happen. Help motivate me!!!

Don't forget about Mommy Musings. I feel unloved. :-)

Yummy Goodness (and lots more)

I meant to post sooner than now, but things have been kind of busy. I have been super tired-- a combo of my long-awaited time of the month and also a major lack of sleep. Olivia is cutting her top 2 teeth and has been on a nursing strike since Friday night. It's not that she doesn't want to nurse. She tries, then cries, and holds her mouth funny because of the pain. Motrin helps some, but mostly, I think we're just going to have to wait it out. She doesn't even want to suck on a pacifier, so I know she's hurting. She'll take a bottle, and when she's not chewing on it, she'll drink milk that I've pumped. It's stressing me out though since I can't pump as much as she gets when she nurses, so I'm lucky to get 3 ounces. She finally nursed twice last night and I'm hoping she'll nurse more today. James doesn't get why I'm so worried. "Just pump" he tells me. Well, I can't get as much milk and it's frustrating to me, and I know it is to her. She tries and tries, but I can tell it hurts.

Anyway, here are the pictures from my Christmas appetizer party last Saturday night.

Pictured above: sugar cookies with pink buttercream icing, cucumber sandwiches with garlic spread, on the tiered tray: peppermint marshamallows (store bought), egg salad sandwiches, and ranch roll-ups, then there's sausage & cheese dip (sooooo good!), crackers & veggie spread (also store bought), chocolate covered pretzels with crumbled candycane sprinkles, and caramel apple cider with mulling spices and vanilla beans. My sister brought an amazing ham & jalepeno ham pate, but I guess we forgot to take a picture.

In other news-- good news!-- Olivia is picking up things like crazy. Playing is what gets her through the terrible teething pain since nursing can't do the trick. She is learning more words every day. Her latest is "dog" (but she really doesn't pronounce the "g"). She looks at the dogs, pats them, and yells "daw!" She also says "eye" and touches my eye when I ask her "Where's Mommy's eye?" She also pulls everyone's hair now and says "air!" She's pulled herself up a few more times, but I'm really thinking she's more of an intellectual. :-) She isn't behind in her physical milestones, but she's definitely not early. My mom likes to brag that when I was little, my pediatrician often told her that I was the brightest 2 year old he'd ever seen, but I always met my physical milestones late or on time, never early. It's weird, because I wouldn't really say that I was really smart in school. I was labeled gifted, but I had lots of trouble taking tests. I totally freaked out and also, I had to work for A's. James's smarts come more naturally I think, but I really had to study. I think I'm still like that. Anyway, Olivia seems to be stronger intellectually, like I was (or so my mom says).

She also wants to feed everyone. She has to put her finger foods in someone else's mouth before putting it in her own, but she gets upset if you actually eat it. My sister ate something that was offered, and Olivia just stared at her fingers like, "where did it go?" She also dances constantly. My cell phone rang yesterday, and she started dancing. Too cute. I tear up every time she dances. I'm such a dork. :-)

This morning, we kept the nursery at church, and of course. There were 3 adults, and we divided up who changed which babies, and I of couse, got the poopers (we didn't know, it just happened that way). I didn't do a good job of changing the boy. You moms with boys get some big props because I had a hard time wiping his butt and trying to keep his pee-pee covered so I didn't get wet. At first, I didn't even cover it because I was using 2 hands to change him, and the other lady said, "you must not change boys much because you're about to get sprayed doing it that way. I didn't get sprayed, but I did manage to get poop all over the cloth changing pad. Oops. He was cute though, even if she did spit up all over my cashmere sweater. Let me just say, formula spit-up stinks! And so does formula-fed baby poop (all poop stinks, but it smells much worse). Yuck.

I also meant to tell you about our date a few nights ago. My mom kept Olivia while we went to see "Blood Diamond". Oh my gosh! It was amazing. Leonardo DiCaprio's accent was impecable. My South African readers will have to tell me their opinion if they see it, but it sounded good to me. He was supposed to be from Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe I believe), but it's so close to SA. At the end, they showed the waterfront in Cape Town, and seeing it so big, looking so real on such a huge screen, made me ache to go back. I don't know what it was about South Africa, but I fell in love. Someone asked me the other day if I was from South Africa. It seemed to random. I wondered if I looked Dutch or something, but then I later realized I had a tiny South African flag pin (purchased in Cape Town) on my denim jacket pocket. I'm such a idiot!!!!!!! Hello! Anyway, the movie was action-packed and wonderful. I'm impatient awaiting "The Namesake" to come out too. I'm reading the book and it's really, really good.

Ok, enough blabbering. Off to make some goodies for tonight: hot wings, and maybe some sticky buns. Wait, might not have yeast. Sratch that. Just the wings I guess.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

She's Here

Aunt Flow has arrived. I'm glad I didn't spend $$ on a test. It's not that I didn't want to know, I just really didn't think it was likely since there was no indication of a rubber thingy malfunction. Whew! I know I want more, inspite of feeling guilty b/c I love Olivia so much, but I'm not quite ready . . .

Food pictures later and details on our date last night.

Where, oh where, has my period gone?

Hmmmm . . . I have always been on a 23 day cycle. It's short, but it's consistent. The first month off the pill last year (because we didn't start trying for a baby until the next month) my period immediately went back to a 23 day cycle. When my period came back after having Olivia, again, right back to 23 days. Heck, I even had to switch birth control pills a few times because I had breakthrough bleeding around 23 days. My body was just that eager to stick with it's 23 days.

So if I'm so regular, where the heck is Aunt Flow???? I'm not on the pill, but we do use some protection in the form of some very thin rubber thingies which I will not specifically say because I don't want people to find my blog when they type this word in.

I'm 5 days late, which isn't a lot, but it's not normal for me. James suggested I buy a test. I said no, because I'd feel silly. I can't be pregant. Heck, I just was. (tell that to Emmakirst and Mary). I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, all the excitement from the holidays made it late. I once got my period really early because a guy broke up with me. Stress/trauma/excitement can all affect your cycle.

So now I just wait . . .

My Whole Cheek is a Pimple and My Nipple Hurts

I loved reading your comments about having more kids. I think Melany hit the nail on the head with her comment. I can't imagine loving another child like I love my Olivia. I know it's possible (since I've never met a parent who loved their other children any less) yet I still can't quite imagine it. I almost feel guitly even thinking about it.

After I wrote the post, and I imagined never having more children, I felt sad, so I guess I know I want them, I'm just going to have to trust that God opens up your heart for as many children as He blesses you with.

And in other news, what was a big nasty pimple has now become a mountain. If you look out your window, you just might be able to see it in the distance. It's so big, that when I met my sister at the grocery store earlier, she suggested I try cortizone in case I was having an allergic reaction to a bug bite. Nope, I assured her, it's really a pimple. And it hurts like hell. I can't smile. Heck, it hurts to talk because if my cheek even moves the slightest bit, it aches. Everywhere I went today, I was sure people were staring at my pimple. I tried to stand at an angle when checking out at the register or when people stopped to see my baby. I am so conscious of this thing.

I even made up a song about it to comfort Olivia when we was crying in the car. I sing to her so much that today, when my sister took her to another part of the store, I started singing completely randomly in the middle of the store, and when I realized it, I wanted to die. I'm sure people thought I just had lots of Christmas spirit! I must've been a real vision today with my pimple and random singing.

Maybe later, if I'm in a humorous mood, I'll post a picture of Mt. Pimple.

I posted on my other blog about my poor nipple. Olivia bit the crap out of it and I'm worried it's infected. Any nipple advice for me?

Picture Post

Here are the long-awaited (maybe you weren't waiting, but anyway . . .) fashion faux-pas pictures from an Atlanta mall known for its celebrity sitings.

This girl just chose the wrong color, and way too much of it. The white boots didn't help either.

I'm sorry this one is so small. I took it with my cell phone and for some reason, it wasn't as big as they usually are.

And this girl brought 2 poodles to the mall. Wait, those are her boots. My bad.

This is a picture James took of Olivia and I the other night. He didn't get any full length shots. We were in such a hurry to leave so we could drop off Olivia and get to the party before the open bar closed. Turns out the wine was free all night (we aren't really liquor drinkers).

BTW, Olivia now says "Dad-ee" and not just "dada" anymore. The little traitor. She knows how to call "mama" when she wants me, but I guess it's just not as much fun to say. She's also decided to give my abs a good work-out. Lately, she throws everything and then yells "uh oh". Then when we retrieve it, she grins, throws it again, and yells "uh oh" as it flies across the room. I am so sick of leaning over, but if I don't give it back to her, she yells. I guess these games are typical, but I don't know if I should always pick it up. Am I spoiling her?

I have more pics, but I seriously need to go to bed! It's 12:45, and I'll need to be up in just a few hours (if not sooner) to nurse my growing baby.

Little Black Dress . . . or not

Tonight, James and I are going to our annual "grown up" event, a cocktail party at a ritzy country club for his work. I look forward to it every year for the awesome food (prime rib and desserts), free wine (although couldn't have any last year!) and the dancing, or rather, watching everyone dance while drunk. We don't always dance because I usually wear shoes that I think look good, but don't necessarily feel good. You understand though, right? I have to look hot. It's the one event of the year that warrants a little black dress. Except there's one prblem, the LBD wasn't fitting so well this year. Well, it did, but my flabby post-preggo tummy wasn't looking so hot in a defined dress. Damn. I tried on everything, was ready to throw in the towel and just not go when almost everything showed my belly bulge (note to self: don't try on a dress at night after eating a #9 at Burger King, a milkshake, and a funnel cake). Anyway, I finally found a winner! I'll post pictures tonight!

Last night, we went to a Christmas light's show, hence the eating of the funnel cake. We chose to drive through the lights rather than ride the trolley because if Olivia cried, it wouldn't spoil it for everyone else. Thank goodness, because after initially loving the lights-- she squealed and clapped), she got some teething pain and started screaming while knawing with her one sharp tooth on her little hands. Yep, tooth #2 is making it's way up. What? No teeth for like, 8 months, and now suddenly 2 in 2 days? Sheesh. Anyway, once the pain subsided with the help of teething tablets, she was back to watching the lights.

Well, I'm off to the post office and then it's back home with my hot self to get ready for the party. I'm going to flat iron my hair. Last year, everyone was so interested in my tummy (I wore the cutest black, sequined pregnancy top with black maternity pants), so this year, we want the focus off my belly, so the plan is, if I have long flowing hair, maybe no one will notice the baby fat that should already be gone. On another note, I had a back check-up today. I have arthritis in several place in my back (injuries that have turned into arthritis from the accident). The doctor said I need to walk 5-7 times a week. Maybe that'll be the motivation I need to tone the tummers?

Random Thoughts

-- Earlier, I talked to James about helping me more. Specifically tonight, when I needed to make choclate dipped pretzels (some for out of towners and so they need to be mailed asap) and also, I needed to wrap presents that also need to be mailed-- for his family I might add. Do you think he is watching Olivia? No siree. He lasted through most of the pretzel making (but he kept asking me how much longer) and now he's on the internet trying to find my dad an extra gift just from him, which is sweet, but we had already agreed to let me do the wrapping tonight.

-- We had Olivia's picture taken with Santa tonight, and she was not at all happy about this. Funny thing is, after paying money to order a package of not-so-great photos (that sadly also have me in them because she was screaming bloddy murder without me there), we actually got even cuter photos tonight by our tree.

-- I feel really badly about something. A good friend called me tonight who is in the midst of a divorce. It's hard enough that's she's so young, and it's sad for us because they were one of the "couples" we like to hang out with, although it kind of changed after Olivia arrived. Anyway, tonight she was telling me about all the bad stuff between them (he's being a total butt and he was the one cheating). She mentioned that she'd had a one night stand to get back at him and rubbed it in his face, and I told her "good for you!" What? I'm a Christian woman. I hate when I "play along" with things my non-Christian friends do. It's not like I should judge her or criticize her, but I shouldn't act like I condone that kind of thing. I feel ashamed that I acted like I thought it was ok, let alone a good thing to do. And it's not the first time I've congratulated her on choices I wouldn't make. I love her a lot and she's a good friend, but I know I did the wrong thing tonight and I feel badly about it.

-- Olivia started clapping today. It's so cute and she's so proud of herself. I can tell! If I clap, she claps and it's so much fun. I love being a Mommy. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The Hubby Has Returned (and totally scary outfits)

Wow! Where did the weekend go? Wait! I know! I spent it making up for lost time with the hubby. He came home Friday evening. He was so worried Olivia would forget him but she didn't. When he came home, she was crawling around, and she bypassed her favorite shelf to pull things down from to go and see Daddy-- and believe me, that's something. I spend most of the day these days trying to keep her away from this shelf. I guess at some point I'm going to have to take my pictures frames off and candles and other stuff off, only to be replaced by who knows what. I'd rather watch her like a hawk then ruin my ultra chic (yeah right) decor.

Anyway, after the hubby arrived home, we spent some quality time as a family, and then it was off with Olivia to her pack 'n play so Mommy and Daddy could have some fun of their own. She played happily for a while, and then we all went to dinner and came home to catch up on Nip/Tuck episodes. It was nice to have him there.

On Saturday, James had his last exam for the semester, so Olivia and I went with my mom and sister to Atlanta for shopping and the majorly trendy Lenox Square Mall, where, following GFF's post on fashion faux pas, I saw tons of my own. I even snapped a few pics which I will have to post later. Just a run down though:

-- sweaters tucked in. The horror!

-- Boots that looked like wooly mammoths

-- girls with like 10 different patterns. Is this the trend now? Did I miss something? Is it ok now to have leopard-print shoes, striped pants, a bright green sweater, and a bag with a differnt pattern. Eeeeek.

-- Total sluts. Boobs, camel toes (cleavage of a different nature), I even saw one girls crack because he low-rise jeans were just that low.

Scary, people. Very scary. Now I know I don't belong in Vogue, but I'm also not out at a mall where celebs are often seen strutting my stuff in horrific attire. I could maybe even be more adventurous than I am, but at least I keep covered. Even when I was thin and a 32 D, I still kept things covered that other people didn't need to see.

Olivia woke up 20 times last night, and that's not an exaggeration. I am so freaking tired, but she's got plenty of energy. ??????????? Tomorrow, I have an OBGYN appt and a bake fest in the afternoon.

How was your weekend?

Also, I posted that I'm worried about producing less milk. Any advice?

Hell Has Frozen Over (and my faith in mankind is restored)

It seems weird to write about hell and faith in the same title, but both phrases accurately sum-up two important happenings.

First, Olivia took a 2 hour map yesterday. TWO. Yes, TWO hours. Perhaps you heard me singing even from your house?

Today, Olivia and I went to the mall to meet my mom for lunch (she took the day off for Christmas shopping). I got out of the car, popped the trunk, and Oh! the horror! No stroller. I panicked. No, James didn't have it. He's out of town. Did I take it out at my parents' last night? Nope. Then I remembered. Yesterday, while I was having my toe checked (the doc was pleased BTW), I took it out so my grandma could walk Olivia around while I was in the doc's office. I remember my grandma leaving it several feet from my car while I strapped Olivia in her carseat and my grandma got in. I NEVER WENT TO GET IT. Immediately I thought of the not-so-nice area where my doctor is. It's next to the health department, and there are often tons of people wondering around there-- people who can't afford nice, pink Graco strollers. It had to have been stollen. People with 6 kids who can't afford one. But when I went to the building where I'd been yesterday, there it was in the lobby, parked against the wall. Some nice person (or my guardian angel) turned it in before nightfall, because surely, it would've been stolen. Some kind, honest person. Thank goodness, because I cannot afford another one. My only consolation if it was stolen, would be that someone who needed it maybe more than me was now going to use it, but I'm happy to have it back. Honesty is always the best policy, I always say.

P.S. Tea arrived from the teaswap today. Off to decide which to try first. So many good choices!

EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW

My toe nail FINALLY grew back from my injury back in July. (remember when my big toe nail was ripped off?) Well, it grew back kind of funny and it was totally ingrown on one side-- all swollen and filled with puss. The doctor (and Google) said that trauma to a nail can cause irregular growth. So, today, I went to the podiatrist and he numbed me (shots in the toe hurt like hell since your finger tips and toes are so sensitive). Then, he dug out the side and killed the nerves so it won't grow back. I am in some major pain. Major, major pain. This hurts worse than it did when my nail ripped off. Ouchy.

This will give you an idea of what was wrong, and what they did to fix it.

If you are interested, you can see the procedure here, although I caution you, it ain't pleasant.

And then, something else totally yucky!

A couple night ago, we had breakfast for dinner at my parents. Don't you just love eating breakfast for dinner? Yum! My sister said the syrup on her pancakes tasted funny. James said it tasted fine to him. Then he looked at his plate and said, "it probabaly tastes funny because there are tons of bugs in the syrup!" We all looked at him like "yeah, right" but when I looked at his plate, I knew he wasn't kidding. His plate was filled with bugs swimming in syrup. Gross. Do you know how glad I am that I chose then berry flavored syrup instead? My sister said she felt like things were crawling in her for the rest of the night. We're not sure how they got in, but I am so glad I didn't eat any!

BIG catch-up post with lots of pics! (we have a talker!)

A lot has happened around here at casa de teatopa. The in-laws left yesterday at 5:45 am. It was sad saying goodbye, knowing that it might be a while before we see them again. I say in-laws, but actually, it's James's mom and her bf, but we know him pretty well, so he gets the in-law title. I know Olivia enjoyed spending time with her Mom-mom. I also enjoyed the goodies they made/brought. Homemade apple pie and cinnamon bread from the Amish in PA, wine, the awesome hot wings Mike (MIL's bf) made us one night. I out-ate everyone, although I'm not sure that's something to brag about. I'm a nursing mama though, so I totally have an excuse. :-)

We went through all the boxes MIL brought down of James's stuff, and I felt like I really have learned more about him after going through his stuff. My husband never seems to remember anything. The other night I asked him about what girls he liked in high school, but he couldn't remember. I asked him about his first kiss. "I don't really remember" he said. Huh? Who doesn't remember their first kiss? From going through his stuff, I learned that he was voted "most studious" his senior year of high school. That's my nerd! I learned that he used to collect coins, and that he attended the inauguration of President Clinton for his first term. Interesting.

And now for the big stuff. We've got a talker! Besides saying "uh oh" (and she now says it when stuff drops!), she says "bye bye" (but it sounds more like bah bah) and waves with both hands. She's has me tearing up constantly lately. I am so freaking proud!!!!! She's also figured out how to crawl after all that rocking and scooting. She doesn't crawl just to crawl though. It's more for utiliatrian purposes, but she's definitely crawling. She hasn't quite realized how much fun it is. She only crawls to get somewhere. It's so strange to watch her getting around on her own. It used to be that I had to carry her everywhere, but now she can get there herself, and it's making me nostalgic. She also immitates everything these days: she shakes her head at us, sticks out her tongue, immitates many sounds. What happened to my tiny girl? She's discovering so much now-- everyday brings something new.

We also gave her Gerber fruit puffs (banana flavored) a few days ago, and she loves them. She likes to feed herself (even with baby food, she wants to put the spoon in her own mouth). I bought some sweet potato puffs today, so we'll see how she likes them.

Earlier, I was taking pictures of her crawling around, and I waved to her, and she stopped, waved and said "bah, bah!"

She's also not nursing as well, but it's only a problem during the day when other stuff is going on. At night, when she's tired and it's quiet, she wants to nurse every few hours (yep, we're back to the constant waking) but during the day, she's often distracted. I mean, why would you want to face a boob when you could watch the dogs, or the TV, or try to figure out what made noise when the heat came on? I don't think she's weaning herself-- Oh God, I can't even think that. So not ready for that!!! I just think she's extremely nosey, but in a good way.

Last night, I put up our Christmas tree. Yes, I put up the tree, all by my lonesome. James was working on his end-of-semester project because he's going out of town (more on that shortly) and then when he finished, he was watching the baby. I actually picked out the tree and got it home with the help of my mom and sister (no fake tree for me. Love the real thing!). Stupidly, I didn't have them saw off the end. I didn't know where the tree stand was, and I told the guy my husband would saw it off when we were ready to put it up, because I didn't want the tree to dry out. But I ended up finding the stand myself, so I sawed off the end (took forever!) and got it up, put the lights on, and decorated it. And I totally cried everytime I unpacked an ornament I bought last year that said "parents-to-be" or when I found my pregnant snowman ornament. I remember thinking last year, as I hung those on the tree, that the next time I hung them, she'd be here, and I could hear her screaming the whole time (will those teeth ever come in??) I put them up this year.

On Friday, because it's tradition, I headed over to my mom's to help decorate the "family" tree. Olivia pooped right before we got started, and my mom told my sister and I to get started while she changed her, so we did, except that we didn't use ornaments.

Yes, that's a thong you see and no, it's not mine. I don't wear thongs. The other things you see are bananas, a coke can, and some other crap. My sister and I are so weird. You totally think I'm weird now, right?

Back to James's trip. He leaves in one week for his annual conference in Orlando, but I leave this Friday for Virginia to visit my aunt (so excited, but nervous traveling with an infant, and a breastfeeding one, especially after this). Anyway, James leaves before I get back, so we'll just miss each other. We're going on a big date this Thursday though. Any good movies playing?

OK, Olivia is fighting a nap BIG TIME right now. Gotta go.

Thanksgiving

-- Last night, James and I got into a big argument over a bunch of things: the fact he's rarely home, the fact that I never have time for myself, that I've been cleaning up after everyone AND taking care of the baby more than I should be with 3 other people in the house. I know he needs time to see his mom since he only sees her once a year, but I want a break to visit too! I totally blew up, cried, told him I was going to my mom's, but then decided that would be stupid at 1:00 in the morning, so I fell asleep mad. This morning, James apologized, and took the baby so I could sleep in. We talked about everything. I promised to be more understanding about how busy he is (full time job-- and a mgt position at that-- and grad student) and he promised to try to make a little more time to give me a break. Then, when the in-laws went for a drive, he totally made it up to me. *wink, wink* I can tell he's really made an effort today, continuously asking what he can do to help.

-- I baked a carrot souffle (like a carrot custard) and a cheesy squash casserole. Yum!

-- Olivia said her first word: UH OH! She says it all the time (I don't count baba, mama, or dada) because I think she's just babbling.

-- She waves to everyone and everything. The cutest part is, she waves with both hands!

-- She is feeding herself so well, picking up pieces of food with her thumb and forefinger. She's actually very coordinated.

-- She learned how to drink from a straw today. Once she figured it out, she cried and cried for my cup of ice water and would reach for it, put the straw in her mouth, and suck. That's my girl!

-- She is trying so hard to pull herself up. Almost there!

Life Lessons

God is ever faithful. Today, as my house was being cleaned, I sat there in dismay, watching as the clock approached the two hour mark for cleaning and knowing that in order for them to finish, I'd have to pay $65 for the additional hour. Yes, my house was just that dirty. How embarrassing. And as I sat there, I thought about how we couldn't really afford the $65, and wished we had more money. Why couldn't we inherit something like my friend N did? Why was James's freelance project recently cancelled? Why couldn't we have money to eat out all the time like some of our other friends?

And then, there was God, quietly reminding me . .

Maid 1: working these two jobs is so difficult. I clean during the day and go to my other job at night. My son has to be dropped off at school really early in the morning way before school starts.

Maid 2: I work two jobs too.

Maid 1: And get this. I got in trouble for bringing my laundry to wash at work because we have no washer or dryer and I can't afford to go to the laundromat.

Oooh. I was literally cringing. There I sat, a stay at home mom, in my three bedroom single family home-- that I so often wish was bigger. I have a husband who works a demanding full-time job, does freelance work on the side, and is getting his master's to make more, just so I can stay home with Olivia. I suddenly felt ashamed to have these people in my home cleaning for me. I watched as Olivia played in her jumperoo, then her walker, and then with her Einstein gym. So many toys. I thought about my SUV (what I always wanted) parked outside. And here, this lady was quietly complaining that she couldn't even afford to wash her clothes, while she's scrubbing my floor. I felt guilty and ashamed. We have it so good, and God seems to be reminding me of this daily. For that, I'm so thankful, and I can only hope he continues to show me this when I start to become too materialistic. Besides, most importantly, I am loved, and my daughter is loved.

And then tonight, I went to my old school where I taught to watch the talent show, directed by my mom who now teaches there. As I sat there, watching the students perform-- some new, some I taught-- I was suddenly overcome with emotion. I'm not even sure if it was sadness-- nostalgia, maybe? My eyes began to well with tears, and I looked around embarrassed, scared my family would notice. I fought them back as I watched the kids, suddenly missing being a teacher. Then I thought about how I'd feel if I had gone back this year, and I knew I'd made the right decision, but for those brief moments, I mourned my old life. Besides, it was nice dressing up tonight. I have to say, I looked hot (and James said I did). I had on stilletto pointy-toed pumps, black pants, my leather jacket, my hair was curly, and boy did the men look. It felt sooooo good, especially since only hours before, I had been wearing old maternity sweat pants and a white t-shirt soaked with breast milk (I'm leaking all the time lately for some reason). But at least I know the potential's there, if I make the effort!

Oh, and don't forget about Mommy Musings. I have an uncomfortable situation I blogged about.

Gag

Tonight Olivia tried green beans for the first time. The face was priceless. So funny in fact that I made her eat another spoonful so I could take a quick picture (bad mommy), and the the second bite was so repulsive to her, that she gagged and gagged until she threw up. Everywhere. It's all my fault. If I hadn't been so dead set on getting a damn picture.

after tasting green beans:

after throwing up green beans:

She looks so much happier!

Tomorrow, after the maids come (YES, MAIDS! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!) Olivia and I are going to a potluck luncheon with the mom's group. We're making Thanksgiving placemats with our babies' handprints. I made pumpkin cream cheese bars to bring.

Now, back to the maids. When I found out my mother-in-law was coming this Saturday-- my MIL who owns a cleaning business by the way-- I was suddenly horrified by the mold in my shower and the dust on my blinds and baseboards. It's hard to find time to clean. Olivia still won't nap and James is never home. After GFF posted that she was having someone come to clean, I decided to treat myself, too! I've had such a good time going against my normal urge to have everything spic-n-span. I've picked hair off my sweater and let it fall to the floor-- no worries! The maids are coming!!!!!! Dirt and leaves on the kitchen floor from the storm? The maids will get it! Let's hope the MIL is mucho impressed.

I've been trying to think of what I want to cook (want to impress her!) and what we can do while she's here. I've been trying to ask James what he thinks she'd like to do. I've been making lists of what needed to be done before she comes:

-- get poodle groomed (tomorrow)
-- take charity shoebox to church (our church is doing this thing where you fill a shoebox with toys for a child. Great idea!)
-- get house cleaned (tomorrow morning at 8:30 SHARP!)
-- grocery shop (did that today!)
-- buy new linens (needed them anyway-- done)

And James's only contribution to my honey do list: lots of fun, bedtime bliss before the arrival of his mother. Brilliant idea! :-)

Oh, and if you could, please stop by and give some love to my dear friend.

The Last Few Days

I just realized I haven't posted in two days! I've been so busy enjoying my daughter and watching her struggle to crawl, that I didn't even think about it. That's good though, right? :-) She is SOOOOO close to crawling, and maybe already is considering she can go anywhere pretty quickly, but she doesn't exactly have the one-knee-at-a-time down yet!

Here are some random things from the last time I posted, in no particular order:

-- I've realized that when nursing in public, there are two types of people: those who try hard to avert their eyes, and those who treat it like a peep show. Yesterday, I bared my bosom to a complete stranger, quite by accident. I went to my car to nurse after Olivia kept pulling the blanket off on a bench. When I got to my car, I quickly looked around as I always do, just to make sure there wasn't anyone right there. I didn't see anyone, so I whipped out Lucy (she's the left one) and began feeding Olivia. She (Olivia, not Lucy) was in a busy, playful mood, and kept pulling off to reach for the stereo buttons, and then would try to latch back on, so there was a lot of me holding my breast and trying to get it in her mouth. Suddenly, I felt eyes on me, and I look over to see this guy with his nosed pressed against the glass in the car next to me, just gawking. When he saw me look up, he turned away faster than you can say "boob". We won't be telling James. He doesn't like me nursing where people can see.

-- Tonight we went to a Holiday tasting thing at our local grocery store, Publix. My whole family was in line waiting to get food, and my sister and her boyfriend joined us. Then, the old man behind us starts yelling at them for "butting" and threatened to beat up my sister's boyfriend. What insued was a hilarious (at least to me) exchange of not-so-nice words between my sister's mouthy b/f (the funniest guy EVER) and this old man. His poor wife was so embarrased, she kept telling him to be quiet. Here's what I heard:

OLD MAN (OM): You wouldn't hit an old man!
B/F: Yes I would. You just told me you were going to hit me. I'll hit you back.
OM: (to wife) He thinks he's some kind of hero.
B/F: I wish you were some kind of a hero, but you're not. You need to cut this out before you get into something you don't want to get into.

This old man went on and on and on. He seriously wanted to fight. It was so funny, and I feel horribly guilty for thinking so! Other people were laughing too.

-- Olivia and I are travling to Richmond, VA with my grandma on 12/01 to visit my aunt. She lives on the water and we are so excited! It'll be OLivia's first plane ride. Speaking of which, get this. Hope that won't be me, because I will definitely be nursing my baby when that plane takes off and lands because it helps the pressure in their ears. And I can tell you, Olivia doesn't always like a blanket on her head, but I requested an aisle with 2 seats so I can be against the window and my grandma will be on the other side. I DARE someone to say something to me.

Atlanta and Magazines

We had an awesome time in Atlanta today with my parents. It was a long day, with lots of time in the car (we got lost) and Olivia was so good!

We did some shopping at one of the awesome malls up there. It's one of the ones celebrities go to, but I've never seen any. :-( I thought of GFF because we ate at the same restaurant (California Pizza Kitchen) and sat at the same table because there's a lot of room for a stroller. I saw a million things I wanted and had to continuously remind myself that the reason I could not buy them is because I am staying home with Olivia, and then I didn't want them anymore. Well, almost . . .

Next, we headed to the Whole Foods Market where I stocked up on fresh produce to make more baby food (so much cheaper!!!) and shampoo/conditioner (got some awesome mint stuff really cheap-- love that tingly feeling!)

Then tonight, I had a rare luxury: a long bath. James went to bed with Olivia and I had time to soak and catch up on my magazines: Saveur, Bon Appetit, Mothering, Parenting, American Baby . . .

BTW, I'm trying to decide what magazines I want to renew since most of my subscriptions are up in the next few months (except Saveur, paid for 3 years). Any recommendations? What do you like to read?

Tomorrow (well today actually) my daughter is 7 months!!! I'll write her letter tomorrow complete with many new pictures.

So Sad

I don't know how my sister works at a hospital. I think it's great, but I just couldn't do it.

Yesterday, a 7 month old baby girl came in who had been raped and saudomized. And then, she died. It was also in the local paper today.

It made me cry harder than I have in a long time. I feel like I can't put Olivia down.

And some other guy got his face chewed off by a pitbull. Even hearing the description made me want to vomit.

Please pray for these families. I think I'd rather die than feel the pain that mother probably feels right now.

SCORE!

FINALLY found a mom's group that I love!!! The others were fine, but none of the moms had infants. This group has quite a few moms with non-walkers, content to sit on a blanket in the park on a gorgeous day and gab! SCORE!!! MF and I both went, and we agreed that this was a winner. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I feel like I'm in high school and I just found a new group of friends!

Caught up on me DVR shows last night. "Nip/Tuck" was weird, as always. Also got caught up on my "Mom's on the Road:Africa" V cool. Can anyone suggest a show that isn't pure filth? "Moms on the Road" ends next week and "Nip/Tuck" is totally sleezy, but addictive.

I've been tired and lazy the past couple of days. Then today, I got my period which totally explains it. No BC pill means heavy frequent periods. Sucky. I'm worried about not producing as much milk, which is why I'm not on any.

Ok, time to check on the lasagna. James's co-worker made us his fab sausage/pepper lasagna since James helped tutor him for grad school. :-)

Good Things

Today actually felt like fall. I am so used to the cooler temperatures we had up north, and I hate that the seasons don't really feel like seasons down here, except for summer of course. Every season feels a bit like summer! Today MF and I took lunch from our favorite Thai restaurant to my mom. If you remember, my mom now teaches where I taught the last few years, and as we drove off, I remarked to MF how relieved I am to be home with my baby girl. Life is good. Lately I think I've lost sight of how blessed we are! I've been worrying so much about money, but I have a wonderful family, a nice home, 2 reliable cars, and I love to cook, which is great since we rarely eat out these days. Life is good!

Olivia and MF's baby sleeping in my car. Too cute! We joke that they're going to get married!!!

Tonight, I made sweet potatoes with cinnamon, sugar, and melted marshmallows like my MIL makes. Yum! I let Olivia have some of the plain potato and she'd swallow and wait patiently with her mouth open while I picked out some non-marshmallowy potato fo her! After dinner, we ran some errands and I went shoe shopping. I totally thought I had scored BIG TIME when I found a BOGO (buy one, get one free) sale, except I couldn't find anything to fit my freakin' huge feet!!! I used to wear 8.5, sometimes 9, now I need a 9.5, which is the ONLY size they didn't have in all the ones I liked. Pooh! My disappointment was quickly forgotten though when we left the store and I put Olivia's winter hat on. She didn't even wake up, which is good because I never would've gotten this picture. Hats=evil. Mittens=more evil than the devil himself.

When we got home, James tried to get Olivia to say "dada" and she said it immediately. Everytime he says "dada" she repeats it. She used to make the "mmmm" sound and "mamamama" but hasn't in a while, but now everything is "baba" and "dada". And tonight she danced for the first time, and I burst into tears. I'm such a dork.

Tomorrow morning, we're going to an Organic outdoor market downtown. It's the last market day of the season, so I'm hoping to score some fresh produce to make baby food. After that, we're heading to a luncheon hosted by my grandma. It's a yearly Thanksgiving celebration for her camping club. Why would I want to go, you ask? THE FOOD! They have the best casseroles and good Southern Cooking. I swear every woman there cooks like Paula Deen. I'm bringing fudge-mint brownies, which are so simple.

Teatopia's fudge-mint brownies:
-- follow fudge-like brownie directions on the back of the box, subsituting milk for water (a tip my dear friend Entsar taught me long ago!)
-- add a dash of mint extract and mint flavored Hershey's chocolate chips

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

The stuff trashy talkshows are made of . . .

This ought to be on Jerry Springer and actually happened to one of my best friend's sisters just last week . . .

After not even being sure she was pregnant-- and never going to the doctor to check, even after her family continued to ask her is she was pregnant-- she sat down on the toilet to give birth to what she thought was a turd and ended up with a baby instead! Yes, the baby actually fell into the toilet water. Can you imagine?

My life seems so normal and uneventful . . . Thank God!!!

My friend is just sick over this (as am I). He doesn't live near his sister, so he didn't know about any of this until his mother called him last week.

Please pray for this baby born to such a mother.

Christmas Craft Fair and on the Mend!

Olivia is *finally* feeling better. She is smiling, playing, and actually not needing her nose wiped every other minute. Progress!

Yesterday, we went to one of my favorite annual traditions (at least since we've lived in Georgia), the "Christmas Made in the South" craft fair. Olivia was all decked out in her Halloween pants, socks, and black turtleneck. Too cute!

The fair kind of had a special meaning to me this year since this time last year, I had just found out I was having a girl (what I wanted!) the evening before. I remember walking around, holding my belly-- I was just starting to show!-- and looking at all the girly things. I actually purchased her Christening gown there, which my grandma paid for, but she was in the hospital at the time and couldn't be there. I remember thinking last year that this time next year, I'll be pushing a stroller as I look around, and indeed I was! I took a picture of Oivia at the booth where I purchased her gown. The same one is actually in the picture (the light pink one with the white cros) but it's hard to see.

Today, my mom and I made a trip up to "Babies 'R Us" to pick up some things for Olivia. The closest one is about an hour away, but Olivia was an angel and we had some nice girl talk in the car. We got a lot of stuff for her: some Christmas presents: toys and stuff, a dress to wear for her Christmas pictures, a food mill for making baby food (my food processor wasn't pureeing the food enough as evidence by her diapers), undershirts, a winter coat, a highchair for my parents' house, breastpads, etc.

We actually set up her high chair here just this evening. She's taking great interest in feeding herslef, so we figured it's time. In fact, she'll barely let us feed her with the spoon at all. She grabs it every time and puts it in her own mouth, which ends up being a lot messier, but what can I say? She's little miss independence.

Well, I've got chicken curry bubbling on the stove and a scary movie waiting for me!

Reasons to Go Organic

I've found that Organic can be cheaper. I posted about it here.

Survey Savvy

Wanna get paid a little money? Lisanne referred me and now I'm referring you. We've both made a little money from completing these surveys. Go here.

Recovering

Thank you for your kind words over at Mommy Musings about my screw-up accident. I think I may have recovered. Almost. I'm sure dropping your baby-- or in my case, knocking her off the table in her carrier-- is one of those things that haunts you for the rest of your life. I fell off the bed when I was little, and my mom said the nightmares didn't stop for a while.

I'm glad no one claimed the rice cereal. I spoke too soon. Note to self: make sure baby will eat the new stuff before you attempt to give away the old. The organic stuff tastes like cardboard, maybe worse. It's made with brown rice and it's pretty yucky. Can't blame her one bit. Me thinks I need to mush up some banana and sneak the cereal in there. I wish I had taken a picture of her face when she ate it. Most of it ended up on Daddy's face after she blew it back out. What can I say? My girl knows what she likes and what she doesn't.

My cousin and his wife are wonderful, wonderful people. My grandma just returned from visiting them, and they gave her their copy of "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" to pass on to me. If it works, I may have to send them a fruit basket.

We are co-sleeping. And we are eating lots of rice cereal before bed. We are sleeping, as in stretches of 6 hours, but only in our bed. But still, 6 hours ain't bad. Why didn't you people force me to feed this child cereal earlier? I could've prolonged the plastic surgery I will some day need to rid my face of bags under my eyes. I thought about putting her in her own bed since she is sleeping longer, hoping that she might not realize she's not in our bed, but I just can't. I feel too guilty about what happened. And I love waking up to her face.

Today, MF and I went power walking for 2 whole hours. We've been doing it a lot lately, and I am seeing the results! I am back to pre-pregnancy weight, lower in fact, but my damn hips are so wide now that I can't wear my old jeans. Must exercise. Cannot afford new clothes.

Tomorrow: MF and I are going to this Mom's group thing in the park. Yay for Fridays!

Rice Cereal Give-away

We have decided to go the Organic route. If you're not a crazy health nut tree-hugger, and you'd like a regular box of Gerber rice cereal that we barely used, give me a holler. I'd be happy to mail it to the first person to respond so it doesn't go to waste.

The Controversy Over Organics

Come on over and share your opinion!

Still not really working

My site is still crazy, and probably, things won't be back to normal until Monday. I won't be here though, because I'll be in Atlanta with Girl from Florida!!!

Had a nice day today. Visiting old co-workers and power walking with MF. Now, I'm making Chop Chae, a Korean dish of glass noodles, veggies, and a yummy soy-sesame sauce.

Have pictures to post and other news, but I'm not even sure this entry will stay up. :-(

Hiatus

Please check back later and do not try to leave any comments. Things should be back to normal by tomorrow according to my host.

This totally sucks.

E-mail from Mom on the Road

Remember when I posted about my new favorite show, "Moms on the Road: Africa"? Well, the neatest thing happened. I got an e-mail from one of the moms on the show, Camisha. Not sure how she found me. Camisha, if you're reading, how did you find me anyway?

I had written that some of the moms seemed oblivious about where they were going, and that one had remarked she didn't know there were whites in South Africa-- well, Camisha e-mailed me to clear up that it had been a joke. Seemed like the Travel Channel tried to play up the "clueless" side of the moms, when in reality, they probably weren't. Camisha wasn't. Glad I didn't offend her. She just wanted to clear up the misconception.

Anyway, since then, Camisha and I have exchanged a few e-mails and I've enjoyed corresponding with someone who was able to go on such an amazing journey. She said something in one of her e-mails that I thought was beautiful, me being all Africa obsessed and all!

"She is the mother of us all. No matter the color."

I can't wait to go back someday! Oh, and watch the show! It's on the Travel Channel on Thursday nights. I'm living vicariously through the moms on the show until I get me some money to travel again!

Dropping pounds (well, maybe a few)

Yay! Yay! Yay!

I have lost some weight. Don't know how much because I haven't weighed myself since a few weeks post-partum because I know it's more than I'd like, and I can't handle the truth. Anyway, clothes are fitting better. I even was brave enough to try my pre-preg jeans on again, and this time, they zipped up, but they are still a bit tight to wear, but I'm making progress. This nursing thing rocks. It burns so many calories! I've also been trying to walk more, and now that I have MF to hang out with during the day, I have a walking buddy. :-)

Olivia is still teething badly. Just how long does it take for a tooth to come in? Some days I see it, some I don't Her gums look swollen to me, too. She also still wakes up every few hours. What happened to 6/7/8 hour stretches? There hasn't been one longer than 4 hours in months. I am so freaking tired, and I have bags under my eyes, and some days, so does Olivia. Poor baby. I've tried everything: teething tablets and Tylenol before bed. Even rice cereal in case she's hungry, but that doesn't help either. I was worried since I'm still exclusively nursing, that maybe she wasn't getting enough, but she's as chubby as ever and having rice cereal before bed makes no difference.

Today, I had lunch with my grandma and then we went and ran errands. I also had a physical therapy appointment today for my back. I am making progress, but I still have pain and numbness from the accident. My grandma came with me to the appointment and watched Olivia while I was in with the doctor. While I was gone, she pooped EVERYWHERE. She was in her carrier, so my grandma didn't see it, because it was all under her. It was such a mess that the doctor gave us some towels to take to stuff in there with her. Then, while I was trying to clean her up, she stuck her hand in it and wiped it on her face. EEEEEWWWWW!

Tonight we ate at Cracker Barrel with my family. I had yummy meatloaf and veggies. My mom bought Olivia the cutest snowman outfit for Christmas. We go to this Christmas light show every year, and she can wear it then. I am so excited for Christmas already. :-)

Well, I'm ashamed to say it, but Nip/Tuck comes on shortly, and I am off to make hot chocolate before it starts. Hey-- does anyone else think that Matt on Nip/Tuck looks a bit like Michael Jackson?

For mommies: milk pumping quesion here.

The last few days

Just finished a yummy herb, cheese, ham, and veggie omelette for lunch. Yummy cheesey goodness. I miss spinach though. :-(

I've been a busy mama. My aunt just left today, and we had a wonderful time visiting with her. She loved seeing Olivia and Olivia loved her!

Ok, the last few days:

On Thursday, I met my new mommy friend, we'll call her "MF" for "mommy friend", and we went shopping for over half the day. I was on the look-out for some dressy clothes for Olivia, but I didn't have much luck. I did find, however, the cutest pair of white velcro sneakers for her to wear this winter. Then, I met my mom and grandma for dinner at Red Lobster. By the time I got home, I was feeling so tired.

On Friday, I spent some of the day with my aunt and grandma. We visited my mom at work, and had lunch. Then, that afternoon, I ran some errands. We all ate at an Italian restaurant Friday night.

Yesterday, I got my hair done (pictures to come, although it's not as light as I thought it would be, but I likey). I spent the afternoon baking caramel turtle brownies and making a salad with honey roasted almonds, gorgonzola cheese, dried cranberries, and scallions. Yum! Then, we headed over to my grandma's for a big family dinner, and Olivia did the biggest, stinkiest poop EVER, and naturally, we had forgotten the diaper bag for the first time EVER. So, James made an emergency baby supply run. We went home to change her clothes after that because they were all poopy, and we did our usual long Friday night walk.

While we were walking, I totally got sexually harrased-- IN FRONT OF THE HUBBY- by 4 soldiers while we were walking.

It went like this: "Hey Baby!" yelled one. I looked to see who was yelling. Bad mistake. Never look. Next guy: "Look at that bitch!" yes, he called me a bitch. In front of hubby. In front of baby. "I want a piece of that bitch!" I wanted to cry, but I didn't. James didn't say anything. There was no point. Yes, he would've liked to have yelled "F#CK YOU!" but it only would've caused a fight. We have a huge military base here, and the soldiers like to get drunk and cause trouble sometimes. It's well-known that when they graduate boot camp, some of them think they're all big and bad, and they like to start fights. Kind of pathetic. At first, I was mad James didn't say anything, but when I confronted him, he said "what did you want me to do? Get into a fight with 4 guys with the baby strapped to my chest in her baby bjorn? They're assholes. It's better to ignore them" Point taken. But seriously, what kind of guys talk to a woman like that in front of her husband and child?

This morning, I put Olivia in the nursery at church for the first time. When I picked her up, I could tell she had been crying and I felt like the worst mother ever. They didn't page me, so it couldn't have been too bad, but still. When she saw us, she was so happy. I love this baby girl more every day!

Oh, and for a dear friend who had a birthday the other day:

Hump Day (no, not humping silly)

My house smelled good all day! I baked an almond bundt cake that was to die for and also made mini cheddar and herb biscuits. I was hoping they'd come out like the ones from Red Lobster, but they were actually kind of sweet, and although they tasted nothing like Red Lobster's, they were really yummy. :-) Since my mom started back to school (she's now teaching where I taught last year), my grandma and I have been making dinner at my parents' house every couple of weeks, just to make things easier for them since they work. I love to cook, so I enjoy planning the meals and meeting my grandma for our shopping trips. My mom watches Olivia when she gets home, and my grandma and I cook. Tonight we made beef stroganoff.

Olivia is going through a major mommy attachement, which is making me feel guilty. I feel badly when she reaches for me to get her when other people who love her are holding her. When she sees me, she cries huge crocodile tears and curls her lower lip and reaches for me. I love that she wants me, but it makes me feel like I can't ever leave her. I'm with her all day, and I think it's hard for her to be away from me. She also still nurses all the time, and that has made a really strong bond between us. She still doesn't eat rice cereal (besides having had it a couple times) or baby food. Just breastmilk. The pediatrician said if I was willing, I should keep up the nursing until she needs more. I was surprised, but we're going with it. The only thing about only nursing is she still poops all the time since breastmilk is easily and quickly digested. It doesn't smell though, so I can't complain.

James stayed home today because he has a big research paper for grad school, and he needed more time to work on it. It was nice having him here, and he was surprised how much work Olivia is. Yes! I'm glad he realizes staying home isn't all tv and painting my toenails. Not that he says anything, I just have a complex that I want to appear busy, like I have to validate that it's hard work. Silly me!

Tonight I watched the Barbara Walters special on 20/20. She interviewd Terry Irwin-- her first interview since losing her hubby. I cried every time she cried and it was so hard to watch. Olivia was sleeping next to me on the bed, and I kept kissing her. When Terri said she had "lost her prince" I burst into tears. Thank goodness I had tissues next to me for the tears, because Olivia woke up and hit me in the nose, and I got a nosebleed. I've mentioned it before, but it's been a while; I have my nose pierced. It's just a tiny, tiny stud, but when she hit my nose, the end of it punctured my nose and OUCH!!! James thinks I need to take it out now that I have an active little girl, but I'm not ready . . .

Oh. So so happy about this! My sweet mom is giving me some money to get my hair highlighted this Saturday. My hair has always been dark blonde, but ever since I had Olivia, it's brown now, so I am getting a much needed haircut and some lighter color. And my aunt is coming from Virginia to see Olivia this Friday. We have a fun next weekend planned!

You mommies out there, I have a question over here at Mommy Musings.

Singing at the top of my lungs

What?!? Can it be? It's only 11:10 and Olivia is asleep? My prayers have been answered! Now, I can say with all confidence-- I'll even bet you the rest of my hair-- that she'll wake up at least once before finally going to sleep at her normal bedtime of 1:00 or 2:00 am. But, for now, I'm thankful. And I was just telling James that I was going to make an appointment with her pediatrician about why she doesn't go to sleep before 1:00 am, and why she wakes up every few hours, and why she then won't sleep at all the next day and then repeats the whole thing over again, except the next night, she waits until 2:30. She even has dark circles under her eyes, just like mine. Matching dark circles. Isn't that cute? But now I'm thinking she must've overheard the conversation about going to the doctor, and she's decided to try and be cooperative because she knows that we can barely afford to pay a $30 co-pay. Isn't that thoughtful of her? I mean, $30 is almost enough one unnecessary trip to Target, right?

And did anyone see Nip/Tuck tonight? I watched is pacing around my living room, baby in my arms, but I saw most of it. Why the hell did Sean have to go and cheat on his wife when she's due to have a baby? It made me so mad. So mad in fact that I told James I couldn't watch it anymore, but we all know I didn't really mean it.

My appointment went well today. I am sore though, which he warned me about. I think he helped me though because after he finished working on me, I was able to turn my head further and I was looser in general. It was a good appointment and Olivia was fine with James while I was gone, which brings me to something else I wanted to talk about.

Olivia is mommy-obsessed. She will not, I repeat, will not let anyone else hold her. Not daddy. Not Grammie. No one. She growls at them. Last night, she was laying in our bed with us, and I got up to brush my teeth. She begain growling and grunting, so James had to take her in our bathroom so she could watch me brush my teeth in the mirror. She actually held on to me while I got ready for bed, and talked to me (in her own way of course) and smiled at me in the mirror. Then, when we all got back into bed (this is how I get her to go to sleep-- she falls asleep with us, then I move her. Clever, right? Maybe not.) Anyway, I always face towards her, but I turned over to take off my glasses and put on chaptstick and she began grunting. Did I mention she also grunts? When I turned back around, she reached for me and when I leaned towards her, she buried her face in me and held me. I love it, but it makes me feel awful when I have to leave her. It is sweet though. I love her with every ounce of my being, and I always will feel this way about her, but I'm pretty sure her Mommy-obsessed phase is just what I said, a phase, so I better enjoy it while I can.

Rainy Monday

I had a great time today meeting my friend. What a big whoppin' relief to meet a NORMAL, SAHM. She was really down to earth, and we talked about all kinds of stuff: episiodomies, husbands who are seldom home, books, the lack of stuff to do in our city, post-partum hair loss. I seem to talk about this a lot because I think everyone must notice and I feel like I have to explain. Luckily, she could relate. Her little boy was gorgeous! He has the prettiest brown eyes, and everyone at Starbucks was coming over to see him and Olivia, saying that they'll probably get married someday. :-) We had a nice time talking, and we're going to try a new mom's group on Thursday morning together, where I will hopefully meet even more normal mommy friends.

Today, it poured down rain, making the temperatures a bit cooler than usual. I am loving this weather. I have had just about enough of these 100 degree temperatures. I'm ready to break out the sweaters! And I also need to hop on the treadmill if I expect to fit back into my fall clothes. Last fall, I was wearing maternity clothes, but I can't get away with those this year!

Tomorrow, I have a consultation at an Orthopaedic clinic to evaluate my back and to set up a physical therapy plan for the 3 degenerating dics in my back from the accident. Can I just say how glad I am we decided to get a lawyer? I feel I deserve some compensation for all this crap. It's totall inconvenient for James to use sick leave hours to come home and watch Olivia for the 3 hours I'll be gone.

I posted over at Mommy Musings about baby Halloween costumes. Head on over and comment! I am so excited about dressing Olivia up!

Baptism and Mommy Play Date

she was so good. The truth is, she was exhausted because she had a bad night last night (teething maybe?). We were worried she wouldn't let the minister hold her, but she did. She even let him walk her down the aisle so the congregation could see its newest member. She just looked up at the minister and everyone "oohed" and "ahhhed" and I was such a proud mommy! She wore the baptismal gown I found at a craft fair last October. My friend B came and videotaped it. He also took some pictures, but I turned off the flash so it wouldn't disrupt the ceremony, so they are hard to see.

Afterwards, my sweet grandma treated everyone to lunch at Johnny Carino's. After we got home, Olivia became fussy. She still doesn't nap. After only 6 or 7 hours of sleep last night (and not consecutive hours), she still didn't take a nap of longer than 15 minutes all day. Even now, when I thought she'd be exhausted, she's still up, sucking on my quilt next to me in bed. How can this child survive on so little sleep?

Tomorrow, Olivia and I are getting together with a girl (I say girl like I'm still a kid or something!) and her 5 month old son. We met through a Yahoo group for moms in my area. The group has been really inactive (it was one of the no-so-good ones I tried), so this other mom and I decided to meet by ourselves at Starbucks tomorrow around lunchtime. That's one thing I like about staying home. It's so hard to go out in the evenings with James in class and me trying to get dinner together. It would be nice to have a friend who also stays home during the day. As I've mentioned before, I am majorly deprived of mommy friends. I'm in a new stage in my life and it's hard doing it alone.

Christmas shopping, presents, teeth, and no poop

For the first time ever, I have started Christmas shopping super early. I figure this was the last month I got my paycheck, so I'd better buy stuff while I can. Also, there are such great sales going on right now. I've been shopping all week. I'm purposely leaving some stuff until the holiday season though because how boring would it be not to have any Christmas shopping to do??? James said he ordered some early gifts for me. I guess we had the same idea. He also ordered me a present for now because he said he hadn't surprised me lately. He got me "Country of My Skull" about the Truth and Reconciliation Hearings in post-apartheid South Africa. I am such a history geek, I know, but half my major was history. My hubby really knows me!

Today, I took Olivia to get her first set of professional portraits done, but after 45 minutes of trying to get good shots, we gave up and I rescheduled for Monday. Poor Oliva. All she did was rub her mouth and fuss because her teeth hurt her. She felt fine before we left or I would've given her some Tylenol. She was also really tired. As soon as we gave up and stopped bugging her, she fell right asleep in her stroller.

She's been so funny lately! She literally blows raspberries for hours on end. I have to change her outfit constantly because it's wet with spit. It's so funny! We do it back and forth to each other. She'll blow one, and than wait for me to do it. Then she squeals and does one back. It's so much fun. I'm sure people think I'm nuts. I walk down the aisle of the grocery store making toot sounds at my baby. :-)

Tonight we ate Mexican food because I had a coupon (yes, these days, only if I have a coupon). At the restaurant, there is one of those machines that you put 50 cents or so in and try to get a stuffed animal. These kids won a really soft, fuzzy yellow elephant and they came up to us and said they wanted Olivia to have it. It was so sweet of them. We said thank you and gave it to Olivia. She loves it. She held it against her face and smiled. :-)

We are having the no poop problem again. It's been 3 days, but she doesn't seem to mind, so I guess I shouldn't worry, yet. Tomorrow, I have errands to run, and I'm sure taking her out in public will tempt fate enough for her to have an explosion somewhere where I can't easily change her! LOL! I'm hoping though that she'll go in the morning. I also hope that her tooth comes through. This sucker has been trying to come in for a month. Just how long does it take? I can feel the tiny edge of it in her mouth, and if I look very closely, if she's still, I can see a white dot in her mouth. It's taking freaking forever!

Nip/Tuck comes back on tonight!

Nip/Tuck season 4 premiers tonight. Can I hear a woooooo-hoooooooo!!! We've been watching this show ever since the first episode, before it became totally sleezy and trashy. Not that it wasn't somewhat back then, but now I'm almost ashamed that I watch it. Almost.

We're getting portraits of Olivia taken on Friday. Even though we take a gazillion photos a day (speaking of which, I have some funny ones to post), we haven't had them professionally taken yet. Shame on me. I also scheduled at a craft fair, the day after I found out she was a girl. My grandma bought her a gorgeous bonnet that turns into a handkerchief for her to carry at her wedding and my mom wants to buy her a gold cross to wear-- her first piece of jewelry. I'm worried I'll cry when she's getting baptized. Do people do this? I can't say I've ever noticed anyone crying at those before. I am miss waterworks lately!

Did I mention that Olivia drank out of a cup for the first time this past weekend? She's been really interested in anything we are eating or drinking lately, and when she leaned towards my cup, I decided to let her take a sip. I was drinking purified water, so when she put her little mouth on the side of the cup, I gently tipped it, and she took two sips! Way to go Olivia!!! :-)

I'm off to get a milkshake with my mom, which I *so* don't need, but I haven't the willpower ro refuse. I am craving some chocolate lately! Then, it's back home to watch Nip/Tuck! I need to watch something besides depressing tributes to the Croc Hunter.

Goodbye, Steve

I was saddened by the death of Steve Irwin, aka the Crocodile Hunter. I always liked and respected him. I watched his shows and really thought he was a good man. He's also a father to two young children.

As I watched a tribute to him on Animal Planet tonight, I sobbed as his wife Terry described the bond between him and his daughter. She also described him as her soul mate, and the best father ever. I can't imagine the pain his family is feeling tonight. His son will never know him. He can never walk his daughter down the aisle. I pray that we are always here for Olivia, but you just never know.

P.S. Vote for Olivia! (see my sidebar at the top for details).

Loving this 3 day weekend

I like that I get to have James around all day for 3 whole days. Although he's getting a taste of what it's really like to watch said youngin' for 3 days. Read this to see what this man tried to pull off yesterday.

Anyway, I spent yesterday afternoon baking goodies for the new neighbors. I realized we barely know anyone. I don't think either of our next door neighbors know our names. So, I decided to be a neighborly neighbor and take over some lemon poppyseed scones and cranberry & rosemary biscotti. They are really nice and around our age. She's from England. Kind of cool. Anyway, last night, James and I went out for Korean food while my mom happily had Olivia all to herself.

We didn't make it to church today because Olivia decided to stay up until 2:00 am and proceeded to wake up every couple of hours thereafter. It just wasn't going to happen.

I'm about to head to the store to buy stuff for our Labor Day meal. I'm making green tea ice cream. :-)

books, crockpots, and pants that fit better

I was thrilled today to check my mail and find a parcel from South Africa! :-) The amazing Melany loaned me her copy of Tertia's book So Close. It's about her struggle with infertility. As soon as I finish Kite Runner, I'll read this one. I'm almost dreading it though because I've heard it's such a tear jerker. Tertia lost her first baby before having twins. Since having Olivia, hearing anything about babies dying just brings me to tears.

Today, James and I celebrated my last paycheck by meeting for lunch at a Thai restaurant. I've been on summer pay, so now we bravely go down to one income. After lunch, I took Olivia grocery shopping-- a triumph in itself. There was no crying or necessary diaper changes, so that was a relief. Olivia did, however, drop her burp cloth somewhere. She likes to hold on to it and wave it around. I need to pay better attention. These are the expensive flannel ones and I now have lost 2.

Right now, I have some awesome smelling split pea and ham soup simmering away in the crock pot-- the one we received as a wedding gift 4 years ago and have never used until today. What an easy way to make good food. Throw in the food and let it do its thing! I did, however, have to sing several verses of Old McDonald to keep Olivia entertained while I chopped all the ingredients. Is it really weird that when I couldn't think of any more animals, I actually sang, "Old McDonald had a butt" and proceeded to make fart sounds in place of the animal noises? I am pathetic. Really, really pathetic.

Tonight, I might go swimming at my parents' house. I actually have lost a few pounds, so the exercise will help. I never weigh myself. Nooooooooooooooo. I usually judge weight loss by how things fit. Is there less fat hanging over my pants? Ha! I must've lost a few pounds. Can I zip my jeans without laying down on the bed? Yipppee!

Hope everyone has a good night! :-)

I'm totally out of shape, but I have good friends and if I was still teaching, I'd drown myself

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I realized 2 things: that there are some really nice people in our group at church and that I am totally out of shape. Not good. This is when I usually get discouraged and give up. Not this time. I will prevail. But just in case, can you send me some motivating vibes???

Yesterday Rebecca and I met at Barnes and Noble for girl time, then my mom met me at the gym to pick-up Olivia (thank you Mom!) and I preceeded to have a workout that made me want to throw up in less than 30 minutes was really intense. Then, we went to over the house of a couple at our church for a by shower fo Olivia and another baby. We got presents and had a big cake, and everyone talked and had fun. I also learned that there is in fact a MOMS Club International here even though it's not listed on their site, so I am going to join! And-- one of the girls in our group is a journalist and wants to hook me up with some freelance writing. Sweet!

And can I just say how glad I am not to be teaching at my school from last year? It is all kinds of crazy over there. My poor friend Rebecca is dealing with so much crap right now. They are changing peoples' schedules, what they teach, and just in general making everyone's lives hell. If I had gone back, I'd totally be regretting my decision right now. I am so glad I stayed home. I couldn't deal with all that and then come home and be a good mommy all evening.

I feel validated and happier

This afternoon, James e-mailed me and told me he appreciates the sacrifices I'm making. It made me feel better, because I have made sacrifices. We both have. Tonight, James and I went out with friends for Rebecca's birthday and Olivia stayed with my mom. It was nice to have adult conversation. In my excitement over having a grown-ups night out, I wore a cocktail dress and let my hair dry curly, and shoes I could barely walk in. So totally worth it. I also felt wistful as I sat among my friends from last year, knowing that we are all at different schools now and that things will never be the same. Life is funny that way.

Tomorrow, I am meeting Rebecca for coffee, and heading to the gym while my mom watches Olivia. James is finishing up the landscaping, which means I can start planting flowers and things soon because of course, we have a few months before the cold starts. Then tomorrow night, it's off to a party hosted by friends at church in honor of Olivia and another baby born. Yipppeee!

What a difference time can make. I still have a bit of the baby blues, but I have the support of a man I love and a daughter with the most beautiful smile in the world.

Mommy Musings

Come on over and check out my new site! (it's on my sidebar)

I am now a blogger for Real Savvy Moms!

I am hoping you'll leave me lots of comments. :-) Feel free to ask questions so I can post them over there and get other moms to respond. It's a great way to get advice from lots of mommies.

I'm really excited about this, and it might help us out financially a bit.

Weekend Sum-up

I've been really tired. I have a teething baby on my hands and the second "monthly visitor" post pregnancy. I just couldn't seem to drag myself over to the computer to update my blog. Shame on me.

In an effort to save money, James and I have cut WAAAAAAY back on going out. We are, afterall, a one income family now. Not an easy thing, but oh so worth it. Anway, we grilled out on Friday, which has become something we look forward to. On Saturday, my mom took me and Olivia for tea at Rose Cottage. Olivia didn't fuss at all (which is rare lately-- poor baby), but she did decide to blow raspberries (which sounded just like loud, wet farts). I have to say, she enterained herself quite well, as well as, I suspect, many other people there. Everyone smiled at her and commented on how cute she was. I, of course, never EVER get tired of hearing that! We had a nice time-- one of the highlights being that I fit into a skirt that, just a mere 2 weeks ago, did not fit. Go me!

And because of this discovery, I decided I could afford to indulge in a sinfully good chocolate torte. Bad Hannah. *slaps hand*

Saturday night, we went to my parents' for filet mignon and to swim at their pool. Heavenly.

Sunday, we met the new minister at church, who before even greeting us, kissed my baby. I love this man. I really enjoyed the sermon and I think he's an excellent replacement for our old minister, whom I also liked. This one seems a little less stiff though and maybe, even slightly, evangelical. I like that. We have a somewhat stuffy chruch with white heads as far as the eye can see. With younger families joining every day, we need someone a little more modern I think.

Oh! Guess who is desperately trying to sit up? She gets about halfway (think very painful crunches) and holds her position there while she struggles to pull up just a bit more. If anything, she'll end up with some really tight abs. When I offer her my hand, she can pull herself completely up from a lying down position just by using it to pull herself. I don't pull her towards me at all!

I leave you with this funny picture. Only a teething baby could fall asleep like this! (in case it's hard to see, she's got James's finger in her mouth)

Wanted: FRIENDS

Well, I have been hard at work trying to find a mom's group/play group for us to join. HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. It's difficult to find one that's the right fit. If you recall, there was the Redneck Mom's Group, and now, one where barely anyone comes. B-O-R-I-N-G. Aren't there any nice, NORMAL, mom's out there looking to make other mommy friends so they can talk about things like poop and teething? Apparently, not too many . . .

Today, however, I stumbled upon yet another mom's group in the area, and even though the leader told me the summer heat has kept most members away, I think I might give it a try. I also heard that "My Gym" has classes for babies. I went to "Monkey Joe's" this week and there were like 4 moms there.

It feels like high school all over again, you know, trying to get "in" with the group that's right for you. I'm not looking for something to fill my days-- Olivia does that-- I just want a nice group to go to once every week or so. It gets lonely staying home.

Ok, I have posted about this topic enough. I'm starting to sound really hard-up. I won't post again until I have found something that fits.

P.S. I could use some prayers. I am looking for a part-time job from home, and there are some possibilities. There's one in particular I really want, but I am waiting to hear back . . .

Jumperoo, Toenails, Playgroups, and Teeth

Yesterday, James took the day off since he's been so busy with school and re-landscaping our backyard. We went to Peachtree City to visit TeaFusions, Williams Sonoma, and Babies 'R Us. We had a lot of fun and it was great to spend some time together. We splurged and bought Olivia a Jumperoo, which so far she is terrified of, but hopefully that'll change. I can't blame her though because I hate it too. Here's why: Idiot that I am, I've almost completely ripped off another toenail after tripping over the new jumper thingy we bought. What the heck? How did I go 25 years without any toe injuries and I've almost completely ripped off two in the last 6 weeks. The pain!!!

Anyway, Olivia is always so good in the car. I usually sit in the back seat with her though.

When we got back last night, I pumped a bottle for her so we could add her vitamins. (her ped said we should give her vitamin drops sometimes even though she's breastfed b/c it's now recommended by AAP, but she hates them, hence hiding them in the bottle) Anyway, she took the bottle from James and put it in her mouth and held it by herself. I was amazed since we so rarely give her a bottle.

Today, Olivia and I got together with Julie and her daughter. We met them through a local mom's group on Yahoo, but we were the only ones who showed. I think I am going to sta